Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! The new trailer for “Deadpool 2” is out, and it is being referred to as “The Final Trailer.” Honestly, when it comes to the marketing for “Deadpool 2,” I think it’s probably some of the best marketing I’ve seen for a movie in my entire life. A lot of people have given praise recently towards “Avengers: Infinity War” for providing such an epic and perhaps dark vibe in its trailers. To me, after this recent trailer for “Deadpool 2,” it’s almost hard to tell if this movie was marketed better than “Infinity War.” For those of you who don’t know my thoughts on the first “Deadpool” film, I really enjoyed it, I actually saw it twice in IMAX laser, it was definitely the funniest technical comedy of 2016. And since we’re getting this sequel pretty soon, I’m actually super excited. After multiple watches, the Bob Ross trailer totally grew on me, a couple more trailers came out that I really enjoyed. In fact, the trailer titled “Meet Cable,” is the trailer I liked the least out of all of them, but even upon my first reaction, I was dying laughing. I don’t know if this recent trailer is the king of em’ all, but it’s certainly a contender. So let’s dive into it!

The trailer starts off and we see a compilation of shots. You have your establishing shots (such as the one above), your action shots, and your dialogue shots. It seems that Deadpool is with a crew and they might be going to Cable’s location, perhaps a hideout or somewhere he happens to be terrorizing. One shot not included above is the first shot of the trailer where you see a few vehicles making their way through a bridge. A vehicle or two looks plot-related, and I want to point out that shot because if you go back to 2016, when this film was first being made, the then director of the film, Tim Miller, left the project due to creative differences. Around the time he left, Ryan Reynolds went on Twitter and made a poll asking where the climactic sequence for “Deadpool 2” should be. Both of the choices by the way were “A bridge.” So I’m not making any bets here, but that shot is probably one of the first shots of the climax. Deadpool is going over the plan to everyone, and the final shot before the logo, is my favorite of the opening shots.

WADE: “Hit it!”

Deadpool continues his jibber-jabber by talking about a kid who happens to be in trouble. That kid by the way goes by the name of Russell and he’s played by Julian Dennison who you may know as Ricky from Taika Waititi’s “Hunt for the Wilderpeople.” Cable, played by Josh Brolin, soon says “Move or die.” The next thing we hear, which is apparently in a completely different scene, is Deadpool uttering “Pump the hate brakes, Thanos.” And then that’s followed by…

THIS. F*CKING THIS. I DIG IT! Not as funny as the last trailer’s “FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT YOU “27 DRESSES” AND “THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA,” but that is awesome!

Then we get a conversation between Wade Wilson and his friend, Weasel, and Wade says he needs backup, so he and Weasel are gonna form a “super-duper f*cking group.”

So now Deadpool and Weasel are meeting with applicants to join the future team. The people we see include Bedlam, played by former “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” host and current “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” regular, Terry Crews. We also have Shatterstar, played by “Into the Badlands’s” own Lewis Tan. And finally, Domino, who refers to herself as lucky. Then the rest of their interaction plays out this way:

WADE: Luck isn’t a superpower. And certainly not very cinematic.

DOMINO: Yes, it is.

WADE: Let’s meet in the middle and say “No, it isn’t.”

Domino is being played by Zazie Beatz, who you may know as Van from the FX TV show “Atlanta.”

This team by the way, if you don’t already know, is going to be the X-Force, as revealed in the trailer before this one.

Next things next, we have the X-Force skydiving, right after Deadpool says “F*ck it, it’s showtime.”

Also, “Deadpool” marketing always has a way with words. This is just another example of that.

After a series of partially awesome and partially hilarious shots of characters in action, we get, depending on how this actually plays out, what could potentially become one of my all time favorite exchanges in a superhero movie…

CABLE: “You’re no f*cking hero. You’re just a clown dressed up as a sex toy.”

WADE: “So dark. You sure you’re not from the DC Universe?”

F*CK YEAH! After this we get more action shots, which continue to be accompanied by LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out,” which also played in the last trailer for this movie. In some of these shots you see characters like Dopinder, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Colossus, and this shot down below which is hysterical here, but I imagine as it plays out on the big screen in front of everyone (as long as you as a parent don’t bring your young children), will be the very thing that kills you.

This shot… is money. By the way, if you’re a parent, and you’re reading this, or if you’re anyone for that matter, but a parent especially, I dare you to put this as your desktop photo on your computer or as your home photo on your phone. I double dog dare you to do as I say!

Also, fans of “The Goonies,” rejoice!

WADE: “Bring it on one-eyed Willie.”

Then we see Cable shooting at Deadpool like a champ, to which Deadpool’s katanas shout, “Not today, douchebag!” This goes on for a few seconds, and part of me imagines these few seconds do not even justify the amount of time this will go on for during the movie. Then we see Deadpool is clearly tired of all the deflecting, and he’s out of breath.

Afterwards we get a logo that says “DP2,” which after I say it a number of times, is not only fun, but also sounds like a terrific beat to a piece of music.

Now I introduced f*cking gifted and superpowered potential badasses such as Bedlam, Shatterstar, and Domino. With that being said, let’s move on to the real badass, Peter! I like to call this guy, “Deadpool 2’s” Winston Zeddemore from “Ghostbusters.” Because why does he join? He has no powers, he just saw the ad. And according to Wade, that’s enough to get him in. Then we get perhaps the funniest and best shot of the entire trailer.

Peter is skydiving!

Enough f*cking said!

After this, we get some very important news, tickets are on sale! I actually have not gotten them, I don’t know when I will, but I’m pretty sure I’m bound to get them soon. I don’t know if I’ll go opening night. I already am seeing “Avengers: Infinity War” opening night, and when it comes to “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” that’s another movie whose opening night tickets I’m trying to get my paws on. This movie comes out at a time not far in between those two, and actually one week before “Solo,” so I’m wondering if I should risk getting opening night tickets, because I don’t know if some of the people who I’d likely go with would end up getting opening night fatigue.

I love this trailer, I think it is one of the best recent trailers I’ve seen. The action looks very kick-ass, the effects look amazing, and most of all, the movie might be this year’s greatest comedy. This movie continues to show that meta humor rocks! If the first “Deadpool,” “The LEGO Batman Movie,” “Seinfeld,” “Family Guy,” and “The Simpsons” haven’t supported that statement already, I don’t know what will!

Oh, and don’t forget, f*cking Peter!

What about f*cking Peter?! Everything about f*cking Peter! That’s what! I seriously want some more promotion with this character, I want the merchandisers to shove this character into every store as an action figure! I want Funko to make him a Pop figure! Also make exclusives for him at GameStop! FYE! Walmart! Hot Topic! Target! Walgreen’s! 7-Eleven! San Diego Comic-Con! New York Comic Con! Emerald City Comic Con! Rhode Island Comic Con! Toys R Us even though they’re going out of business! Blockbuster if they come back as a toy shop! RadioShack if they make a comeback and rename themselves as ToyShack and develop a bigger market for remote control cars! Maybe somewhere in Kim Kardashian’s ass! I want Peter to go far and wide as Peter’s eyes can see! F*ck Peter Parker! F*ck Peter Quill! F*ck Peter Pan! F*ck Peter Griffin! F*ck Peter Rabbit! F*ck Peter Venkman! F*ck Peter Brady! F*ck Peter Gibbons! F*ck Peter Pettigrew! F*ck Peter Piper! F*ck em’ all! Because there’s only one fictional character named Peter that matters at this point, and that is Peter! Just… Peter. Not Peter Boyle! Not Peter Dinklage! Not Peter Cushing! Not Peter Capaldi! None of those REAL Peters! Just Peter! You know what? I want to see Peter in action! Taking down characters with powers, even though he has no powers, and if he dies in this movie, it better be the most emotional thing I’ve ever seen! Dedicate a funeral to him at the end of the movie! Because at the end of the day, the only character that matters, is Peter! If you do that, this will be the next “Citizen Kane!” This movie will be a masterpiece, and we’ll all demand a follow-up that might be just as good, maybe slightly worse or better, which will then conclude the “Deadpool” trilogy to be remembered for generations.

HAIL, PETER!

Also, I hear that “Deadpool 2” is still in post-production. And one character who happens to be in the movie is Weasel played by TJ Miller. It’s now less than a month until the movie releases, so I don’t know how much time the crew has, but there’s one thing I think they should do. I love TJ Miller, I think he’s a great actor, but here’s the thing. He’s been in the news lately and if you’ve been hearing about it, it has not been for good reasons. And if you remember one of the movies from the previous Oscar season, “All the Money In the World,” that was a movie that was going to star Kevin Spacey. But once the news came out that Kevin Spacey was a sex pervert, some hope seemed lost. The movie had about a couple of months until it was released. Trailers were already shown with Kevin Spacey’s character. But the crew decided to do something. They’d recast his character last minute and reshoot. So they get Christopher Plummer (A Beautiful Mind, Beginners) to replace him, so when the movie comes out, audiences will notice Plummer playing Spacey’s character. What they should do for “Deadpool 2” is find a way to incorporate Christopher Plummer into the movie as TJ Miller’s character, so we can 1, start a trend where Christopher Plummer is a replacement cast member of a character originally to be played by a sex pervert, in this case Miller had allegations, not confirmations, but still, you can also consider his recent fake bomb threat. Also consider 2, it’ll make the movie even funnier than it already was! Maybe for a scene or two, try CGIing Christopher Plummer’s body and/or face onto TJ Miller’s character, reshoot some scenes with Plummer if possible, or if that doesn’t work out or is too taxing, get Plummer to come in, record a couple lines that TJ Miller says, and put that into the final product. I also imagine that there are some lines that people can’t wait to hear TJ Miller say, but I imagine they’ll get a hard laugh out of themselves from realizing they’ve listened to Miller the whole time and then suddenly, one line is from the voice of Christopher Plummer! Trust me, it’s genius! Even if the audience doesn’t know who Christopher Plummer is, they’ll probably just find it funny because it’s some elderly man in a near-middle-aged guy’s body!

Thanks for reading this trailer review! Honestly, and I’m not even joking, this is probably some of the most fun I’ve had writing for this blog. If I can’t have fun writing about Christopher Plummer replacing people who behaved beyond improperly at some point in their lives, I can’t have fun doing anything. I’m also excited to see what David Leitch can do with this film given how he directed “Atomic Blonde,” one of my favorite movies from last year, and he co-directed “John Wick,” another great film! So you can tell by that Leitch can definitely make a kick-ass action movie. Next week I’ll have a couple of new reviews up, one of them I planned for a long time, and another one is a bit more on the unexpected side. Starting with the unexpected, I’m going to be seeing “A Quiet Place” tomorrow. I’ve been dying to check this out, my sister has a friend whose mother invited me to come along with them to see this thing so I can’t wait to finally gaze my eyes upon what might be one of the most unique movie experiences of the year. Also stay tuned for my review for a movie that most people who even watch movies nowadays are gonna try to review, “Avengers: Infinity War,” because you need another critic to review this movie right when it comes out. Stay tuned for those reviews, and speaking of reviews, check out my review for a movie which just like “Deadpool,” is sexual, and that is “Blockers.” Click the link down below to read it, I think you’ll enjoy it, and if you don’t, that’s fine, I’m just glad you’re here now! I want to know, did you watch the final trailer for “Deadpool 2?” What did you think about it? Also, do you think the crew behind “Deadpool 2” should do that Christopher Plummer thing I’ve mentioned? Let me know down below and if you have admittedly faked a bomb threat or been accused of being a sex pervert, please change your username to Christopher Plummer so I know who you are. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

“BLOCKERS” REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/04/13/blockers-2018-when-parents-dont-want-their-kids-gettin-cocky/