Top 10 BEST Movie Quotes


Hey everyone, Jack Drees here with another countdown! When I watch movies, one thing I pay a lot of attention to happens to be the characters. After all, in most movies, the characters are the one thing that can make you decide whether the movie is either good or bad. There are a lot of characters I like, some more than others, but there are some times in movies when you witness one character, and they give a quote to remember forever. Whether it’s funny, original, deep, or epic, certain characters can compel me when they speak. Today I’m gonna talk about my top 10 favorite quotes from movies. Now, keep in mind, these are my personal picks. If you don’t like these quotes, that’s totally OK, you can make your own list with your own quotes, or you can leave a comment displaying your personal favorite movie quotes or why you disagree with me. Although just don’t be a dick about it and then we’ll most likely be cool. Anyway, let’s start the list, and get counting down on my top 10 BEST movie quotes.

10: Jaws

“Jaws” is probably the most famous shark movie ever made. It was one of the first big summer movies, it came out before other summer movie hits like the original “Star Wars” and “Alien,” and many people say it still stands the test of time despite having a fake shark. What quote from the movie belongs on this list? If you’re asking this question, you either haven’t seen or heard of “Jaws,” or your brain isn’t wired properly. Anyway, here’s the quote:

BRODY: You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

The first time I heard this quote I was watching the movie with my dad, it set the stage for some of what was to come, I got a laugh out of it, and it almost felt like hearing something that a teacher would say to you that you’d never forget as long as you live. The line delivery given by Roy Schneider in this instance is fabulous. Not to mention, when you see him in frame, he’s got a perfect posture and the image seems to have no flaws when it comes to the quote, the quote just seems to fit with literally everything this moment of the movie has going for it. The delivery itself gives a sense of danger and it pulls you in, John Williams’s music building up along with it is also perfect. If you haven’t watched “Jaws,” you’re either lying, under a rock, or some talking shark told you to never watch the movie otherwise it would eat you.

9: The Terminator

I don’t usually watch the “Terminator” franchise all that often, however I do find enjoyment out of it every once in awhile. I consider “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” to be one of the best action films ever made, but it doesn’t mean I keep the others (mainly 1, 3, and 5, the 4th one was dull) in consideration. OK well, to be fair, the fifth actually wasn’t the best movie ever. In fact, despite “Judgment Day” being my favorite of the bunch, I still think the original had the best line in the franchise. Don’t get me wrong, the second one had cool lines including Schwarzenegger’s “Hasta la vista, baby,” and the exchange between John Conner and Schwarzenegger after a chase scene early on in the movie.

JOHN: Who brought you here?


The best line is one I’ve been saying a lot all my life, and I imagine a lot of other people have as well. If you have seen the first movie, you’d probably agree with me when I say this is the film’s best line.

THE TERMINATOR: I’ll be back.

If that line were used in any random conversation, it would most likely fly over people’s heads, but the execution of this line is perfect. It gives you a feeling of suspense, a wonder for what’s to come. THEN BAM! A car comes crashing into a building driven by The Terminator himself! The thing that makes the line perfect, isn’t necessarily how it’s written, it’s more towards how it’s delivered. Also, think about it, this almost feels like a line only people like Arnold could ace. Imagine if someone like Gilbert Gottfried was playing the Terminator, imagine how that would turn out! It wouldn’t work as much.

8: The LEGO Movie

I love “The LEGO Movie.” To me, it’s one of the best animations ever made, and one of the characters in that movie is Will Arnett’s interpretation of Batman. He’s by far the funniest part of the movie and a definite scene stealer. When I was making this list, I was trying to think of quotes that made me roll on the floor, then I thought about this movie. When it comes to the best quotes in the entire film, it’s a really tough competition because the film’s screenplay is probably one of the funniest I’ve witnessed in my life! Although I ended up picking one quote over everything else. But before I show you the quote, let me give you some buildup. So there’s one point in this movie where our heroes are stuck in an ocean, they pop out of the cushions of a double decker coach. So Batman interrupts the conversation at hand, and lets everyone know of reality.

“I don’t mean to spoil the party, but does anyone else notice we’re stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? I mean, it’s not like a big gigantic ship is just gonna come out of nowhere and save us. (suddenly a big gigantic ship becomes visible as it comes over to them) My, gosh!”

So the heroes get on the ship, Metal Beard, a character who we knew earlier from the film, is there too. Not too long after getting on, Emmett, the main character played by Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World), reveals his plan to save the world. Although, when it comes to a part involving a spaceship, the folks run into a problem. In order to complete the manufacturing of a spaceship, a hyperdrive is required, which none of the heroes have. At one point, Batman utters this:

“What do yo think, a spaceship’s just gonna appear out of the blue? (suddenly a spaceship appears behind them) Are you kidding me?! The same thing!”

I remember loving that when I first saw the film, but I recall watching it on HBO at one point and I laughed like a supervillain! There are few films I’ve watched that have the humor this film managed to deliver, and when I saw “The LEGO Batman Movie” a spinoff to “The LEGO Movie,” I knew this movie wasn’t a fluke. In fact, I love a quote from that movie which stands out as well, the one where Batman makes fun of the Suicide Squad. These movies are just factors behind why I’m excited to find out what “The LEGO Ninjago Movie” is going to be like.

7: Kingsman: The Secret Service

I love “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” As a movie, it knows it’s a ridiculous spy flick and it even sometimes compares itself to Bond. Not to mention there’s a dog in the movie whose name has the initials “JB,” when the main character of Gary “Eggsy” Unwin is talking with Michael Caine’s character of Arthur, Arthur asked if the initials meant “James Bond,” which they didn’t. He also asked if they meant “Jason Bourne,” which also wasn’t the case. By the way, they mean “Jack Bauer.” It has obvious product placement in one scene, but in ways it can probably bring chuckles. One of my favorite scenes in the entire movie takes place in a church. Colin Firth’s character of Harry Hart is there, this church is full of people in a hate group. The antagonist of the film, Valentine, played by Samuel L. Jackson is planning on initiating a test associated with the SIM cards introduced in the film. Harry gets up out of his seat, he tries getting by one lady, and she wonders where he’s going and what his problem is. Hart responds by uttering this:

HARRY HART: “I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”

This is basically going against the ideas of this specific church and the way this line is delivered is pure quality. How often have you always wanted to say to anyone in a hate group, it could be anything, “You’re wrong, I’m right, everyone deserves to be happy, have a fine day.”? Not to mention this sets up one of my favorite action sequences in movie history. Valentine initiates the test, and then literally everyone in the church starts killing each other. It’s well shot, well choreographed, and the music choice, otherwise known as “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd was a great pick for this scenario. If you haven’t seen this movie, I’ll remind you it’s not for everyone, but the church scene alone is a work of art. The cinematography and music, combined with the shock value in that scene is amazing. I honestly CANNOT wait for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” it’s gonna kill!

6: V For Vendetta

When it comes to some of my most recent discoveries throughout my movie watching experience, “V For Vendetta” is definitely up there with my favorites. This is a film that I bet some people don’t even realize is based on a DC Comics graphic novel. Maybe I’m wrong, but who knows really. There’s a lot I like about the movie, the characters, the effects, the story, the acting, and the score. Another thing that stood out to me is this quote near the end of the movie given by V, played by Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Captain America: The First Avenger).

V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof.

What I love about this quote is specifically the last sentence. Before the given quote, V is interacting with the character of Creedy, and by interacting I mean fighting. It’s V for himself against a bunch of other people trying to take him down. What makes the quote so lovable to me, given time to marinate, has not really too much to do with the character of V or even the film itself, it’s mainly about how one can take an idea, try to put it into action, and regardless of whether or not it works out, the idea itself will never go away. This even includes stupid ideas, and I’m not just saying that to make people feel better about a stupid idea.

5: Inception

I LOVE CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. He is one of my favorite directors of all time. He’s done some movies revered by many people such as “The Dark Knight,” “Memento,” and the movie I’m gonna be talking about here, “Inception.” There’s a lot of great moments in this film, from the first time Ariadne and Cobb are in a dream together, to the hotel hallway fight, and the AMAZING climax. I already mentioned Cobb is a character in this movie, in fact, he’s the lead character played by none other than Jack from “Titanic” himself, Leonardo DiCaprio. There’s another character in this movie who goes by the name of Mal, she’s played by Marion Cotillard, who eventually went on to play Miranda in “The Dark Knight Rises.” The two in this movie were once married, I won’t go into any further details than that, but that’s an important element during the film. Although let’s get into a quote which can associate with that. This quote is mentioned more than once throughout the picture, and here it is:

MAL: I’ll tell you a riddle. You’re waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you; but you don’t know for sure. But it doesn’t matter. How can it not matter to you where that train will take you?

As stated, this is not the only time it’s mentioned in the movie, but this is just one example. This is also mentioned during a scene towards the end of the film that’s pretty much a reversal of this. There’s also a time that Mal mentions it again that gets more haunting the more I think about it. What I love about this quote is how much it goes along with a motif that we witness during the movie. We start off the movie, Cobb is on a train, and he says “I don’t like trains.” Then we get this quote, which comes up again later, and we also have a scene where a locomotive is sliding through a city street, which by the way, sounds awesome on Blu-Ray. Not only that, but once again, I’ll mention, the quote itself is haunting, and that is during the time Mal is saying the quote and Cobb is shouting at her. The last time it’s stated, there’s actually a train in the frame as it’s being spoken. If you haven’t watched “Inception” I highly recommend it, one of the greatest movies ever made.

4: Whiplash

I know a lot of people have been talking about the movie “La La Land” which was directed by Damien Chazelle, but I feel that a lot of people are either forgetting about or just don’t know the work he did before that came out. To be more specific, the work I’m referring to is “Whiplash.” This movie’s about an aspiring drummer named Andrew Neimann, played by Miles Teller (Fantastic Four, Divergent), he goes to a school which is basically THE music school to attend, and he meets JK Simmons’s (Juno, Oz) character of Terence Fletcher. This is also the movie which gave JK Simmons his first Golden Globe, and his first Oscar, both of which in my book are amazingly beyond well deserved. I also have to give credit to how his character is written along with casting JK Simmons in the first place because not only was his character well written, this kind of seems like a role that only someone such as JK Simmons could really play. Think about it, JK Simmons has done more than one role playing someone arrogant or bossy. Just watch Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man” trilogy or TBS’s “Men at Work.” This movie’s character, to me, feels like a tribute to JK Simmons. So what’s my favorite line from the character? Well, it’s this:

TERENCE FLETCHER: You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped little piece of s*it whose mommy left daddy when she figured out he wasn’t Eugene O’Neill, and who is now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a f*cking nine-year old girl! So for the final, FATHER-F*CKING time, SAY IT LOUDER!

I bet some of you are wondering what the hell is happening when this line is coming out of this character’s mouth. Well, I’ll tell you. Terence is instructing the students to play a certain song, and they’re all playing it. Andrew is playing the drums, and Terence Fletcher keeps telling Andrew, in a polite tone, that he’s not playing the way he should. Then all of a sudden, no more interruptions are happening, but soon thereafter, Terence throws a chair at Andrew. Soon, they start getting into a rivalry with words. Andrew is just trying to cooperate and Terence is basically yelling at him! At one point, Andrew even starts tearing up, Terence is embarrassing Andrew in a way telling him to yell the fact that he’s upset, which he does multiple times. After saying it once more, the line shown above comes into play, and after Terence shouts “SAY IT LOUDER,” at the end, Terence says he’s upset one last time. The reason why I love this line so much is because it’s well acted, well written, and it shows how intense certain teachers can get. If you watch this movie, chances are you could relate to this line, because teachers like this exist. Terence sounds more like a drill sergeant as opposed to a jazz teacher. This is not even the only great line this movie has, Terence also gives a memorable line that I still think about today.

TERENCE FLETCHER: There’s no two words in the English language more harmful, than “good job”.

This almost sounds like a quote worthy of being on the list, but I’m only giving my focal points toward one quote per movie series unless I think there are multiple lines that I like equally, and I like the one I showed you first a bit better.

3: Risky Business

When it came to doing this list, I knew a quote from “Risky Business” HAD to be on here somewhere, but the problem I had was, which one was worthy? To confirm whether or not a quote from “Risky Business” would even make the list in the first place, I actually rewatched it since I own the DVD. “Risky Business” is about a guy named Joel, played by Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible, Jack Reacher) whose parents go away on a trip. Joel is left responsible for the house, but it doesn’t end up going so smoothly. Oh yeah and we also get scenes with the gorgeous Rebecca De Mornay (Wedding Crashers, Flipped). So which quote did I pick? The image at the top should give you a hint if you seen the movie before. This quote comes from the very beginning of the film, Joel and Miles, played by Curtis Armstrong (Revenge of the Nerds, Supernatural), are outside Joel’s house. Miles is about to leave, but before he goes, he says the following:

MILES: “Every now and then, say, “What the f*ck.” “What the f*ck” gives you freedom, freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

OK, as much as swearing might not usually mean much of anything except for the fact that someone may be angry about something, Miles’s character has an incredible point. Let’s say that you have an idea, and you don’t know how it’ll turn out, but you want to go along for the ride, you might say “What the f*ck.” Then you get to your creative freedom, you get to execute an idea and see what happens with it. Maybe the idea will get you noticed somehow depending on what said idea is. If you get noticed or revered in some fashion for that idea, chances are you possibly just won your entire future. This feels like something that would happen if someone doesn’t know what the future holds but they want to see it play out in the best way possible, and to do that, they have to take a chance. Now that I think about it, this almost sounds like a game show such as “Press Your Luck” or “Deal or no Deal.” In fact, if there’s one quote that can associate with the movie’s overall intended idea, it might as well be this one. Why? The director of the film, Paul Brickman thought that it would be a good idea in this film to show that greed can bring consequences. Also, fun fact, the ending of the film wasn’t something he intended. His original ending stuck to a less upbeat tone. I’ve seen both the theatrical ending and the director’s preferred ending, and as of the moment, I personally prefer the director’s ending, the way it’s written feels more memorable and the other ending, while not exactly terrible, contains some dialogue almost sounds like something that one wouldn’t really say. If you ask me, the director’s cut did suit the vibe more, but the first one regardless of suitability wasn’t too bad to begin with.

Also before I move on, if you know me, I’m actually a mega-fan of Curtis Armstrong, I even talked to him multiple times, and you’d know that about me if you met me in real life. I say this because I have a feeling some of you might think I’m just putting this here because of my fanaticism, I’m not, and if you watch this scene, it’s kind of easy to see why. Anyway, let’s continue!

2: Interstellar (Two quotes tie because I can’t decide which is better) *SPOLIERS*

When it comes to the sci-fi genre, to me there’s no better film than “Interstellar,” this film is well written, well directed, well shot, well acted, and has the greatest ending to a film I’ve ever seen. We’re gonna talk about two lines here. They’re both kind of in spoiler territory, but one is in greater spoiler territory as opposed to the other. Let’s talk about the one that’s less spoilery first.

So if you’ve watched this movie you may know about the sequence which Matthew McConaughey’s character of Cooper observes the messages sent by his kids. He gets a number of messages from his son, Tom, but he barely gets any from his daughter, Murph. Cooper is in space, and time is flowing at a different pace for him as opposed to his kids back on Earth. He just got back on the ship after going to a planet which contains a crapload of water. When the ship is back in space, Romilly, one of the astronauts in this movie, wakes up, and he hasn’t seen the other characters for twenty-three years. This is how long the messages span. Cooper plays all of the messages, which many people consider to be the most emotional part of the movie, which I personally disagree with, and once all of Tom’s messages are over, Murph’s face shows up, she looks different than how she did before considering this is the first time we are seeing her as an adult. Here’s what basically goes down here.

MURPH: Hey Dad.
COOPER: Hey, Murph.
MURPH: You son of a bitch. I never made one of these when you were still responding because I was so mad at you for leaving. And then when you went quiet, it felt like I should live with that decision, and I have. But today is my birthday. And it’s a special one, because you told me… you once told me that when you come back we might be the same age. And today I’m the same age you were when you left.
MURPH: So it would be a real good time for you to come back.

I love this entire moment, you can argue this isn’t technically a quote, but Murph is saying all of this in a pre-recorded message that Cooper is viewing, so he can’t really talk to Murph. Nevertheless, I love it. Just imagine how it feels to realize that your kid is back on Earth, you’re in space, time is moving differently for the both of you. Hearing this just shows the speed which time is moving, and it shows how much of a connection this father and daughter have with each other. In this scene you feel the emotion between these two, I mean for crying out loud, Cooper has been in this important mission which is the key to mankind’s survival, and the time he’s been in space is longer than the time spent in both World War I and World War II COMBINED, even if you take the spans of both wars, which comes out to a total of 1,567+2,193, which simplified is 3,760, and if you multiply it by two, it still wouldn’t be as long as the time these folks have been in space. I thought waiting from a Saturday morning to a Wednesday afternoon for my mother to get back from Arizona in October 2011 was long, this is a whole new level of long!

Now onto the second quote, while the first quote may have been in spoiler territory, this next one is probably going to ruin the entire movie for you, so if you haven’t seen “Interstellar,” go watch it, it’s a great film, and this is your warning.

The next quote takes place during the film’s final act, where everything is coming together, and we get to one of the only parts of a movie, if not the only part, where I cried while watching. Our heroes are near a black hole, and to shed some weight on the ship, Cooper thinks it would a good idea to send TARS straight into the black hole. Sounds cruel, I know, but TARS is a robot, so he doesn’t really care. Once TARS goes down, Cooper is about to do the same, Brand, one of the other astronauts, is freaking out, she is questioning why Cooper is doing this, but Cooper does it anyway. So he’s going down, meanwhile we see Earth drama, then we cut back to what’s going on from Cooper’s perspective, he’s falling, then he ejects his seatbelt, he’s out of his ship, he’s floating, and we see, something. It’s a tesseract, and Cooper is falling inside it. He wonders what’s going on, and I know I’ve been spoiling a lot, but this is important. Cooper is pushing something, it’s moving, and it falls, we see Cooper’s daughter, Murph, at the age of 10. I won’t go into COMPLETE detail, but I’ll spill some things here and there. Cooper is looking at his daughter and he’s watching her leave her room, which is in another dimension Cooper is looking at while he’s inside the black hole. It turns out this isn’t the only daughter observing Cooper is doing. He’s also looking at her in other moments in time, including moments we’ve seen in this movie, moments Cooper himself was involved in. Cooper, in a way, is communicating with Murph, which connects to an event that occurs in the movie’s beginning. Then, we get to listen to what Hans Zimmer does best, create epic music. We cut between a “current” moment on Earth, and Cooper looking at Murph from a time which she was younger. The editing is flawless. Soon, we get to this quote:

COOPER: Tell him Murph. Make him stay. Make… Make him stay Murph. Make him stay Murph! Don’t let me leave, Murph! Don’t, don’t let me leave Murph! (CRIES) NO, NO, NO, NO!

In case you have gone on this long and haven’t seen the film, I should let you know I’m being merciful and leaving out a huge part. If you have seen the film and paid close attention at the end, you’d know what I’m talking about. This is just part of an entire ending that after multiple watches, had me in tears. I love the quote for its emotional impact, how it’s delivered, and there’s really barely any words I can use in order to describe it. “Interstellar” is a movie you have to truly see to believe, there’s a reason why I talk about it all the time. Please, watch “Interstellar,” there’s a chance you will remember at least one quote from the movie after you watch it. Trust me.

1: Taken

My #1 movie quote comes from the movie “Taken.” “Taken” is a sick action flick. The sequels don’t live up to the original, but at least Liam Neeson has proven to be pretty kick-ass in the first installment. The plot of taken is that Bryan Mills, a retired CIA agent played by Liam Neeson, has a daughter, the daughter goes to Paris, and then she gets captured by someone who’s basically gonna turn her into some sort of sex slave. What quote gets me going when it comes to this movie? Well, it’s the one that is abridged on the poster above, which is also the one that Liam Neeson stated after his daughter got captured. Bryan Mills is on the phone, he hears his daughter screaming, and seconds later we hear this:

BRYAN MILLS: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

This one quote sets the stage for whatever comes next. The rest of movie is a terrific thrill ride and has some action, especially when you compare it to “Taken 3.” That movie shouldn’t have even been called “Taken,” it’s just there to exist and make a trilogy. The plot almost has nobody being taken. In the first two movies, somebody was taken, not in the third one. Ah, whatever. This quote was mentioned by Bryan when his daughter was in Paris, he was instructing her to do all sorts of things in order to protect herself. As much as I love the quote based on its delivery, how its written, and simply the fact that it exists, it might just suggest one thing above all else, which is that Liam Neeson is a badass when it comes to action films. I haven’t really seen much of his other work, but seeing him in this film was enough to convince me he was a badass. Throughout the making of this list, it has been hard to decide what quotes should go where and even what quotes should appear on the list in the first place. This is #1 because of how memorable it is, how it set the tone for the movie, and made me root for Bryan Mills and his daugter, Kim, as characters. Other quotes from this list are either funny, intriguing, or important, but there’s something about this quote from “Taken” that makes it more than just words written on a script. You know, unlike how everything from “Taken 2” is just words written on a script.

Alright folks, these are my ten favorite movie quotes. Going through this list I realized how interesting my picks were considering how Michael Caine was in three of these films, a couple of these films have some sort of association with trains, and Christopher Nolan directed two of these films, by the way I almost included a quote from “The Dark Knight,” it almost made the cut. I want to know, what are your favorite movie quotes? Why do you like the quotes so much? Let me know in the comments! Pretty soon I’m going to have my review for “The Glass Castle,” I just got to get around to seeing it. Stay tuned for that review and more great content! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!


Marvel Cinematic Universe Will Continue For Decades, Not Surprising, Although Slightly Concerning

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! I have to say right now, this week may be the craziest I’ve ever witnessed when it comes to comic book movie news. Nothing new is coming out this weekend, however when it comes to news, it’s absolutely insane. I’m actually gonna cover multiple segments here, however only one portion here matters more than others. I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s an idea, when introduced at the time, seemed original by the standards of film. It has now inspired other cinematic universes such as the “Dark Universe” from Universal, the DCEU (Detective Comics Extended Universe), and the Monsterverse Warner is focusing on at the moment. “Thor: Ragnarok,” which will be released in November, is going to be the seventeenth movie in the universe. That’s not the only future movie planned, there’s gonna be a couple of “Avengers” sequels coming up, “Ant-Man” is getting another standalone film, Captain Marvel is gonna have a movie, “Spider-Man: Homecoming” is gonna have a sequel, and “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” will be happening. Speaking of “Guardians of the Galaxy,” let’s talk about that.

If you don’t know me personally, I enjoyed the first “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie. The vibe worked perfectly, the comedy landed for the most part, and it took characters that not many people, including some people who read comic books out of enthusiasm, didn’t know much about. Not many folks, until 2014, heard about Starlord, not many people knew about Gamora, they weren’t aware of Groot, they didn’t ever think about Drax, nobody traditionally thought of Rocket as a badass raccoon. What Marvel was able to do with these characters kind of amazes me. As far as their movies go, this might be their most family friendly one yet.

As much as I enjoyed the first “Guardians,” the sequel was big letdown for me. It may have been due to my hype for the film, but then again, I anticipated “Wonder Woman” and “Dunkirk” to death and look how those movies turned out. It’s by no means a bad movie, nor is it the worst in the MCU, but it is not a great movie either, it’s just passable. The humor didn’t land as much, although some worked, like the Taserface gag and the Mary Poppins joke. Some of the characters were not as cool as they were in the first movie, although the movie did get a better villain and they did improve the character of Drax in some ways.


Baby Groot is by far one of the single most annoying characters I’ve seen in anything! I get he’s small, and supposed to be cute, but this film literally tries to force it down your throat! It almost reminds me of the stupid kid the lead characters have from the piece of crap they call “Sharknado!” It’s like watching YouTube, you’re watching cat videos, and the person taking the video is constantly saying look at this cat playing the piano! YOU MADE YOUR F*CKING POINT! YOU SAID IT ONCE! YOU ALREADY TOLD ME! I ALREADY KNOW! It’s like if BB-8 from “Star Wars Episode VII” was constantly shoved into random scenes just because he’s cute. And granted, the cuteness factor was there, and a lot of people see him as a cute droid, but he’s there when the plot needs him, he’s not randomly in shots just shoving jelly beans down his gullet. Wait a minute that makes no sense, droids can’t eat or drink. Also now that I think about it, trees don’t eat jelly beans either. Whatever, you probably get my point! I’m sorry if you hate me, but this is how I feel.

If you are a mega fan of the “Guardians of the Galaxy” movies, both 1 & 2, and you don’t know the main man to thank, I’ll have you know the man you probably should be thanking is James Gunn, he directed and wrote the first and second films which are out right now, and he’s also working on the third one. The man definitely knows how to direct and write these movies based on how the actors deliver their lines and how well the humor plays out. Recently, he did a stream on Facebook Live, and something… …interesting came up. When he was on the livestream, a bunch of users asked some questions, and one user asked if Richard Rider/Nova would ever be put in the MCU films. At one point when answering the question, Gunn uttered this: “One of the things I’m doing with creating “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3,” it will take place after the next two “Avengers” movies and it will help to set up the next 10, 20 years of Marvel movies. It’s going to really expand the cosmic universe.”

That’s right, you’re probably getting at least a decade’s worth of Marvel Cinematic Universe films. How do I feel about this? While I love Marvel and I’m excited to what they have in store, I’m simultaneously worried. The Marvel Cinematic Universe began back in 2008 with “Iron Man,” since then it has expanded with many films loved by audiences everywhere. Some people still say they prefer superhero films outside the MCU such as the older “Spider-Man” films, Nolan’s “Batman” trilogy, Donner’s “Superman,” or movies in the “X-Men” franchise. We’ve had film franchises go on longer than the MCU, such as the “Bourne” series, “James Bond,” “Fast & Furious,” and “Star Wars.” Although I’m noticing that compared to these franchises, the MCU is producing movies more rapidly and when it is compared to a franchise like “Bourne,” you can tell that “Bourne” might have an intended stopping point. The MCU is basically the cinematic universe version of “The Neverending Story.” Me personally, if I had a cinematic universe, and I actually do have one in mind if I ever have the opportunity to make films in Hollywood, I would end it at a point. I’d give it a sense of finality, but I only wonder if the folks behind the MCU will ever feel the same way.

While I am concerned about the franchise going on forever and ever, allow me to address some positives. Starting off the positives, this isn’t Michael Bay’s “Transformers” nor is it “Sharknado.” Also, Marvel has clearly shown how it can make stellar movies that people want to see. A lot of their flicks have been well received by both average moviegoers and critics. When it comes to comic book fans, they do a fine job appreciating that particular audience for the most part. Some notable mistakes they made over the years has usually been with the villains. With the exception of villains like Ego from “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” or the Vulture from “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” the MCU hasn’t really featured terrific villains in their films. This is why I love “Captain America: Civil War” so much, it didn’t have a villain, it had sides, neither good or evil. Another notable flaw many people have with the MCU is in “Doctor Strange.” You may remember the Ancient One in that movie, she was played by Tilda Swinton because it’s an example of whitewashing. While the MCU may not be perfect, it certainly has a lot of likability to it. Despite saying that, I wonder how much it has left.

The MCU has been around for nine years and people still enjoy it, but what if it goes on forever and ever to a point where people begin to become tired of it? If you ask me, I’m not exactly tired of it, but I am starting to think the series might go on longer than it should. Keep in mind, Marvel is owned by Disney, the Bill Gates of movie studios. Disney basically owns us now since they have Marvel, Lucasfilm, Pixar, and their own animations along with those animations that are being remade into live-action form. The top 5 films of 2016 in terms of box office performance are all Disney films. “Captain America: Civil War,” “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” “Finding Dory,” “Zootopia,” and “The Jungle Book.” Right now, three of this year’s films owned by Disney are in the top 10 in terms of box office performance. Those films are “Beauty and the Beast,” “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.” I’m not counting “Spider-Man: Homecoming” here because despite how it is in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sony distributed the movie. Disney has also had successes with 2015 films like “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens,” “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” and “Inside Out.” If you look at what Disney is doing, you may see that they’re making buttloads of money. They now own all of these things we, as viewers, know about. Although I want to make a comparison to this and a popular video game franchise you guys may know about.

Have you guys ever played the “Call of Duty” games? I don’t play as much as other people do, but I know people who play the games. If you know a bit about them, you may know that they do this thing where they release a new game every year. We’re getting Marvel movies, quicker than we’re getting “Call of Duty” games. Keep in mind, many people say that some of the older games like “Modern Warfare” and “Modern Warfare 2” rock whereas newer games like “Advanced Warfare” and “Infinite Warfare” suck. If there’s one thing I noticed, personally, it’s that I thought Marvel movies got better as they went on. the oldest Marvel Cinematic Universe movie I currently have a 10/10 for is “Iron Man 3” which was released on May 3, 2013. Then there was “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “Ant-Man,” and “Captain America: Civil War,” which is currently my favorite movie in the MCU. Also, you have to keep in mind, I don’t witness many people talking about the first “Call of Duty,” the second “Call of Duty,” anything along those lines. While it seems that a lot of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films are widely talked about today, I could tell you that when “The Avengers” came out, this is when a majority of people flocked to the theater to see these movies. Also keep in mind, this came out in 2012, the same year that “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Dark Knight Rises” came out. Both “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Dark Knight Rises” were successful at the box office, in fact in some cases, “The Dark Knight Rises” may have gotten more positive reception than “The Avengers,” the case isn’t really the same for “The Amazing Spider-Man.” Spider-Man and Batman are both argued among nerds all over the world between which is the better hero, they both get their own movie in the same year, and they are beat by “The Avengers.” Although when you think about it, it makes sense, you get more superheroes, some you may know, some you may not know, and the idea of “The Avengers,” unlike “Batman” and “Spider-Man,” hasn’t really been done much on screen. Although the “Fantastic Four” movies have more than one superhero and look how those movies turned out. However when you look back before and realize what “Spider-Man” did in terms of box office performance in 2002, such as being the only film to make $100 million in its opening weekend at the time, and how “The Dark Knight” not only won the box office in 2008, but avoided a comic book movie from having the slightest bit of childishness, this is kind of interesting to think about. The Marvel Cinematic Universe did have some successes before “The Avengers” like with the first two “Iron Man” films, and while 2011 brought “Thor” and “Captain America: The First Avenger,” they didn’t quite reach the top 10, making them get a lower score in the box office than “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1…” (sigh). Right now, if you can’t tell already, the box office isn’t a problem for the MCU, and I don’t think it will be in the future. However, I wonder about their movies in terms of quality.

There’s a saying that all good things come to an end. We all know we are going to die one day. OK, I’m not saying all people are good, just look at Adolf Hitler! You know movie franchises that have technically come to conclusions in the past? Just look at “Back to the Future,” “Jaws,” or “Revenge of the Nerds.” The people behind these movies knew when to stop, “Back to the Future” stopped at three movies suggesting that the characters’ futures are what they make them, and all three franchises according to popular opinion have never made a movie better than their first installment. You know what’s still going today? “Transformers,” “Sharknado,” “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” and “Fifty Shades.” Traditionally, these movies are not well received, however they are popular over a certain demographic. “Transformers” continues to make lots of money even though people are literally paying to see the same thing every time, “Sharknado” is on TV, but people watch it because it’s “so bad it’s good,” which I thought at first with the original, but upon rewatch it became worse, and the later installments are just plain awful, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is popular among families and kids, including some who know about the books, and while it was fun to watch as a kid, it became worse the more I thought about it. Not to mention their newest installment, if you haven’t heard about it, may be one of the most forced sequels in movie history, and for “Fifty Shades,” while it may be popular among women and those who have read the books, it wasn’t well received because of its characters, along with the fact that it is technically “porn” and yet the movie fails to deliver on that for a lot of people. Also ladies, for those of you crushing on Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey in the series, the actor says he didn’t want himself nude in the movie. If you’re gonna make a movie for women, that’s technically a porno, KNOW YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE! If you ask me, I haven’t seen any of the “Fifty Shades” movies, nor have I read the books, so I can’t really say my true thoughts about it, but I honestly don’t want to see or read it unless I have a girlfriend who wants to watch it and she feels like watching it with me, if it means I get to go to a free screening, or if someone is paying me to watch the movie. With Marvel, I can enjoy myself throughout the process of watching one of their movies, but how much longer will it take for me to not enjoy myself?

So far, two movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have been released this year, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” and “Spider-Man: Homecoming.” While I enjoyed parts of both movies, I thought both needed improvement. I said what I needed to about “Guardians 2,” but I didn’t really say much about “Spider-Man: Homecoming.” I thought they aced Peter Parker and Spider-Man for the most part, it could have been funnier, they had Iron Man in the movie but they played their cards right and kept the movie from turning into “Iron Man 4,” the AI annoyed me, and the villain was cool. I gave the movie a 7/10 in my review, and I said it would probably drop to a 6. For the record, I gave “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” a 6/10, which I also gave to “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” which was fun at times, but ultimately a disappointment. The only film I gave a lower score to in the MCU was for “Captain America: The First Avenger,” which was a 5/10. Based on this you can tell that Marvel is capable of making good movies, but every year since 2013, I’ve seen one Marvel film that is worthy of a 10/10 for me. In my top 10 MCU films, I have only one movie that is a 7/10 in my book, all the others are 8/10 at minimum. If “Thor: Ragnarok” isn’t a 10/10, then the streak I’m talking about is officially over. If you ask me, I’m somewhat excited as a Marvel movie lover for “Thor: Ragnarok,” but at the same time, worried. It looks like it could be a good movie, but the marketing makes it look like “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Now, I like “Guardians of the Galaxy,” but for a movie like this, I want a darker tone. You have Planet Hulk in this movie, it looks like there’s gonna be a lot of destruction on Asgard, and yet in the trailer they’re playing “Immigrant” by Led Zeppelin. Good song, but it makes me worried here. You can still have humor in the movie, you can still have flashy effects, and granted the effects look stunning in the trailers, but I want a darker vibe than what I’m getting when this movie comes out. Now, I’ll say if “Thor: Ragnarok” is a 9/10 or 8/10, that’d still be cool. Although if it’s a 7/10 or lower, I’d start to worry.

Also, you have to consider the fact that these movies are based on comic books, so they might be taking material from the comic books, and turning that into movie material. That’s fine, but part of me wonders, will we ever run out of good material to copy? I don’t read comic books all that much, but this is something I wonder similarly as a movie watcher. I wonder if we will stop seeing original material and start always seeing unoriginal material. Although comic books have been going on for years and we are still getting lots of new stuff, but they always do unoriginal stuff. They do stuff based on other sources, they do a new series or a spinoff with certain characters, or they might do gender or race swaps. If we want to keep these movies going, we either need to introduce new characters that haven’t been written in comic form or we need to get people writing new comic book material. This has been done before though, you guys know Harley Quinn? Her first appearance was actually in “Batman: The Animated Series.”

And if you think that comic book movies are stopping anytime soon, you’re completely under a rock. People continue to watch those movies, people keep making them, and they’re even making movies on villains, kind of like they did with “Suicide Squad.” That’s not all, Sony is coming out with a “Venom” movie in 2018 with Tom Hardy as the lead actor, and there’s also gonna be a “Joker” movie that I hear is gonna be in a different universe than the DCEU. In fact tonight, just when I thought I covered everything in this post, I took a break, thought I’d add some finishing touches a little later, ONLY TO FIND OUT MATT REEVES’S “BATMAN” MOVIE ISN’T GOING TO BE PART OF THE DCEU EITHER! What is happening? It’s becoming like “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” only instead of running out of food on an Island in the Atlantic, we’re running out of new and fresh movies quite possibly throughout the world, and instead of just having sardines to eliminate our hunger, we just have comic book films to fulfill our movie watching desires!

I love movies. I love comic book movies. I love Marvel Studios. Although at the same time, I’m concerned about its future. Maybe they’ll continue on creating original content and keep rocking it not only at the box office, not only on home video, but also in the minds of the viewers. As much as Marvel Studios makes good movies, there may be a day where it goes the way of McDonald’s, by that I mean there will be a MCU movie on every corner, and it may just be processed as opposed to crafted. Guys, I don’t think “Thor: Ragnarok” will be great, admittedly I’m excited for “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” If “Thor: Ragnarok” is good, there’s less of a chance I have of going into these MCU films in the future with a bit of skepticism. So I want to know, what are your thoughts on this? Also, what is a movie you want to see from Marvel Studios, but hasn’t happened yet?

Also I want to break a little announcement to you all, while I still plan to do reviews of new movies, I also want to tackle some older ones too. If you recall me doing my “Spider-Man” review series along with my Christopher Nolan review series, I’d like to let you know I’m doing another one. If you think about big action stars, I’d traditionally think about Liam Neeson (Taken, Non-Stop), Jason Statham (The Transporter, Death Race), Keanu Reeves (John Wick, The Matrix), and Vin Diesel (xXx, The Fast and the Furious). Another one I think of is someone who I’m starting a series on, that my friends is Tom Cruise. Over the years, Cruise has proven himself to be a very talented actor in many ways, and I’m gonna talk about three movies he stars in. I’m gonna be starting off with “The Last Samurai.” At some point I will include a review for “Risky Business,” I’m not sure where I’ll put it, either as my second or third review, but that will be an intention in the future. I will also be reviewing another movie Cruise is in, but I’m not sure what it is yet, you’ll find out when the review comes around! Stay tuned for those reviews, and Marvel Studios, if you are planning on continuing the universe for another 10 or 20 years, focus on the movies first, and focus on the money later. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Terrificon 2017 Review and Haul


Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! If you have followed this blog recently, you may be aware of me going to a convention called Terrificon, it is a convention dedicated to comics, superheroes, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and to the world’s misfortune, fidget spinners. The convention went from Friday, which was August 18, to Sunday, which was August 20. I was there Friday and Saturday, I had quite a bit of fun and I can’t really say I have many complaints about it.

As far as guests go, it’s your usual situation there, you’ve got your celebrities, your artists, and your vendors. I didn’t really see too many artists, however I recall my sister interacting with a number of them. When it comes to celebrities, the convention had people such as Burt Ward (TV Batman, Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders), Lee Merriweather (TV Batman, Barnaby Jones), Sean Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy, Gilmore Girls), Chris Sullivan (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, This is Us), Shannon Purser (Riverdale, Stranger Things), Finn Jones (The Defenders, Game of Thrones), Jessica Henwick (The Defenders, Star Wars: The Force Awakens), and Benedict Samuel (Gotham, The Walk). A number of the vendors were local, the ones I bought items from were NY Collectibles from Bronx, NY, The Dragon’s Lair from Wallingford, CT, Festival Flea Market Mall from Pompano Beach, FL, Greg White Comics from Kissimmee, FL (believe that’s the correct info), and Fuzzy Fish Inc from an unknown location (There’s one in Tybee Island, GA but I highly doubt that’s even close to the correct info, who knows I might even have the wrong name.).

Throughout I met three celebrity guests, Chris Sullivan, Shannon Purser, and Violet Beane. For Chris Sullivan, I actually met him alone, we shook hands, and I took a photo with him. The photo cost $30, which I ALMOST forgot to pay because after taking the picture, I got so close to just walking away! I would have likely ended up feeling guilty if I did. I had a good laugh with Chris and a guy near him about it. Also, before we took the photo, I talked to him about “This Is Us,” a show on NBC which he plays the character of Tim. I don’t watch the show, but my grandfather does, we actually talked a bit before I went down to the con, and my grandfather told me to tell him he was angry to never find out something that some viewers may be mad about me saying because it sounds like it is in spoiler territory.

The next celebrity guest I’ll bring up is Violett Beane. My sister watches CW’s “The Flash,” I don’t commit to many TV shows, so I don’t watch it at the moment, heard good things though. She’s on there and she plays the character of Jesse Wells. My sister got an autograph from her and she was asked if she was excited for the new season. She responded saying she was, and I, being the party pooper I was, had to admit I don’t watch the show. I didn’t say I didn’t LIKE it, I said I didn’t WATCH it. I asked Violett if I should start watching, she said yes like I was stupid. I didn’t hate her for the way she said it, she may have been dumbfounded with me, but it was understandable. Plus it was almost like she said it with a hint of swag. Hate that word! For the record, I would watch it, but I’m in the middle of “Star Trek: TOS,” “Firefly,” and I need to also catch up on “The Goldbergs” and “Kevin Can Wait.” I’ll remind you, I review MOVIES, which takes away from TV.

And finally for the celebrities, we’re gonna dive into Shannon Purser, hehe, that kind of sounds like a sexual innuendo. You may know Shannon as Barb from “Stranger Things,” another show I heard good things about and don’t watch. This time I have a better defense, which is the fact that I don’t use Netflix. I went with my sister to Purser’s table, she got some custom art signed, and Purser said a few kind words about my sister’s “Doctor Who” t-shirt.

For the convention itself, this took place in the Mohegan Sun Convention Center in Uncasville, CT. The center itself is nice, and it looks fancier than other convention centers I’ve seen. This was especially noticeable with the floor and ceiling. The venue is a decent size, and there weren’t many crowds pushing each other. While the whole center isn’t exactly big, it’s definitely good enough for a convention like this. Everything seemed to be organized and clean, so I can’t give many complaints there. I didn’t go to the second floor, but there were panels and professional photo ops being done there. The first floor had the ballroom and the pre-function lobby, where a few comic artists and all the celebrity guests were. There were barely lines for anything whatsoever, and the only people that had crowd control barriers leading up to them were Burt Ward, Lee Merriweather, and Dean Cain.

Now, let’s dive into some of stuff I got at the con. First off, I got a couple license plates. They happen to be the original “Ghostbusters” Ecto-1 license plate and a license plate that said “Assman,” which you would know about if you saw “Seinfeld.”

These two license plates came from the shop which I assumed was “Fuzzy Fish Inc,” I currently don’t have any pictures or promotions to prove what I just said. I’m just going from memory and what the program map tells me based on where I remember walking around in the convention center. I mentioned the Ecto-1 license plate from the original “Ghostbusters,” but they also have the Ecto-1 license specifically from “Ghostbusters II” and the one from “Ghostbusters” 2016, or as I like to call it, “Ghostf*ckers” 2016, because the people behind this film f*cked it up so much and may have f*cked up what was so good about the 1984 “Ghostbusters.” OK, that actually sounds like a terrible nickname because that almost sounds like a porno, let’s go with “Ghostsuckers” 2016, because the movie sucks so much that it shouldn’t have been made or even thought of to begin with. Oh wait a darn minute! Sucking is what some people do during sex to a penis! Gah! Forget what I said about Shannon Purser, THOSE, are sexual innuendos! The store also has “Outatime” license plates, which you may recognize from “Back to the Future” as a license plate for the DeLorean. I actually own one of those, it’s in my room, and I’m gonna put these two plates next to it.

I got one video game at the con, it’s “Kingdom Hearts II.” I own the first game, so I figured why not get the sequel. The game cost ten bucks which I wouldn’t consider a bad deal considering how revered this game is by the gaming community. I also saw the first game for twenty bucks, but I already own it, so I saved myself some money there. This came from NY Collectibles in Bronx, NY. I actually talked to a guy who was checking out the game for me, he pointed out how scratched the game disc was, and believe me, it was scratched like hell. The scratches made me somewhat skeptical of whether or not I should actually buy this game, but then he assured me that the disc was playable. I believed him. I haven’t tried it out, but we’ll see what happens in the future. After he gave me his assurance, I said, “Well, you aren’t GameStop.” Granted, I like GameStop and I do shop there occasionally, but I hear gamers sometimes give a lot of crap about them. The guy went on saying he went to a GameStop once and he saw a disc that was so scratched it was unplayable. I said I POSSIBLY could relate, and now that I think about it, I can relate. Because in 2012, I got “The Bigs” for the Xbox 360, it’s a baseball video game and it’s kind of fun. I now own the PS2 version, which I have played occasionally. The disc was so scratched that I returned it the next day and ended up not getting another copy of the game, but instead getting a copy of “The Bigs 2.” Interestingly enough, the disc now has a circular scratch, which is likely to be my fault from once tilting the Xbox 360. I mean, I get why gamers don’t like GameStop, they only carry newer console titles, even though that’s what you find in places like Walmart, Target, or Best Buy, they are extremely corporate, meaning that you can find them everywhere, so it’s basically the McDonald’s of video game stores, and they will literally pay you nothing for selling your games. Speaking of games…

At the con, I purchased my favorite card game of all time, “Cards Against Humanity.” This was purchased at The Dragon’s Lair from Wallingford, CT for a price over $40. For your information, you can get this game for a cheaper price in other stores. Target sells it for $25 for example. For those of you who don’t know what “Cards Against Humanity” is, take “Apples to Apples,” forbid the children from joining in on the fun, and top it off with a vibe you’d find in “Sausage Party.” This game is not for kids, I play it a lot online with friends, and I laugh my ass off every single time. Although another difference between this and “Apples to Apples” is instead of associating the player’s cards with adjectives, these are fill in the blank associations. If you haven’t played the game I highly recommend it. It’s fun with friends, it might be awkward with family though, although my mom actually wanted to play this with me and I’m more than happy to let her play with me if the opportunity ever comes up. I mean, as far as nontraditional mother-son events go, this is one I’d rather do than watch “Fifty Shades of Grey,” not because of the sex and kinky scenes, but because how poorly received it was. I wouldn’t even want to watch “Fifty Shades Darker” either because I heard that’s as much of a s*itshow as “Fifty Shades of Grey.” And no! I’m not reviewing it! I already reviewed “The Emoji Movie” for you all, consider that a favor! We’ll see what happens in the future.

I also picked up four posters. Where did I pick them up? To my knowledge, I believe the place was Greg White Comics. This place had a ton of small posters, a lot of which I remember were from “Star Wars,” “Spaceballs,” and “Terminator.” Speaking of “Star Wars” and “Spaceballs,” those were two of the posters I picked up. As far as other posters I got, I got one for “Blues Brothers” and “Family Guy,” specifically, one that was a parody of the original “Star Wars” movie. You know how during season 6 the first episode was an hour long parody of the original “Star Wars?” Well this poster is associated with that. By the way, if you haven’t seen that episode, please watch it, even if you aren’t a “Star Wars” fan you’ll laugh. The “Blues Brothers” poster, from what I can tell, is foreign, which I actually didn’t notice until looking at it as I’m writing this. I saw this poster on IMDb, but something weird I noticed about it is that it said the movie was rated PG, and the poster I purchased said the movie was rated PG-13. By the way, I Googled what the rating was, and it was PG. Last but not least is for “Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi,” or in this case, “Revenge of the Jedi.” If you are a hardcore “Star Wars” fan, a collector, or possibly alive during the eighties, you may be aware that before “Return of the Jedi” was released to the public, it was at one point going to be called “Revenge of the Jedi.” The store I got these from had a good deal where you could get four posters for twenty bucks, so why would I NOT get these four posters?!

I also picked up a couple t-shirts, t-shirts which in fact I can’t wait to wear. These were sold by comedian and actress from the Nickelodeon show “Every Witch Way,” Lisa Corrao. Seeing her in person, I had no idea who she was, then I Googled her to find out she was forty-two. I couldn’t even tell she was forty-two, she actually looked like she was in her twenties. It’s kind of like Julia-Louis Dreyfus, the older she gets, the younger she looks, at least to me when looking at her in real life. I purchased two shirts which were twenty bucks each, one which said “Jar Jar Stinks” and another which said “You’re not Groot.” The first shirt, if you can’t tell, is making fun of the obnoxiously horrible “Star Wars” character known as Jar Jar Binks, which may be the worst thing about the prequel trilogy, possibly rivaled by midichlorians, Anakin and Padme’s forced romance, the fact that Samuel L. Jackson never got to scream like crazy, Hayden Christensen’s performance, or Jake Lloyd’s performance. I always thought of the phrase “Jar Jar Stinks” as a nickname in my daily life and I’m glad to a see a shirt that says the same, although at the same time, I wanted to be the one to make it. You’d know what the second would mean if you know what “Guardians of the Galaxy” is, or at the very least, if you know who Groot from “Guardians of the Galaxy” is. You may know the only thing he says is “I am Groot,” and when he says it, it’s in that order. So instead of saying, “I am Groot,” the shirt says “You’re not Groot.”

Corrao also gave me a free autograph, which was also the only autograph I got at the con. I pay for a good number of autographs when I go to cons, so the fact that this was free was awesome. If the autograph was given only because I bought shirts, it’s still worth it in my book.

This con, if you didn’t know was also paying tribute to Adam West, who you may know from TV’s “Batman” as Batman, and from “Family Guy” as Mayor West. There was a lot to see when it came to “Batman.” There was a Batmobile, a Batcopter, the rope you’d see for batclimbing, a Batsignal, a Bat Kiddie Ride, a Batboat, and a Batcycle. Around the area where all of these battacular objects were, the sixtes “Batman” theme was playing in the background. There was also a screening of the 1966 “Batman” movie. I didn’t attend it, I personally I’m fine with not attending it, although I could imagine attending it would have been fun. Not to mention you have Lee Merriweather, who played Catwoman along with Burt Ward, who played Robin. The two of them were also at the screening and they even did a Q&A.

That pretty much completes my review and purchase analysis of Terrrificon 2017, I wouldn’t mind coming back next year when they do this again on August 17-19. One difference between this year and next year is that this is gonna be in a bigger space which is also in Mohegan Sun. Next year, instead of being in the Mohegan Sun Convention Center, this is going to be in the Mohegan Sun Exposition Center, which is cuurrently being built and is set to open in summer 2018. The center will have three times the space of the Mohegan Sun Convention Center, allowing more people to fit in. So I want to know, did you go to Terrificon, how was it? What did you do there? Did you buy anything? Leave a comment below, and I assure you, I do read them. Also, pretty soon I’m hoping to review “The Glass Castle,” but only time will tell when I actually get around to it. Stay tuned for more reviews, and if you guys want me to check out any cons, let me know about that down below! Also, cons, weird request, if you want me at your con either to review it, or less likely, as a guest, notify me! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Ghost in the Shell (2017): Pretty but Uninteresting


“Ghost in the Shell” is directed by Rupert Sanders who also directed 2012’s “Snow White and the Huntsman” and it stars Scarlett Johanson as a character who has a human mind, but she also has an artificial body. Throughout, this character we are introduced to, who goes by the name of Major, is tasked with stopping the world’s most dangerous criminals while at the same time, she’s trying to confirm the mystery of her true identity.

For the record, this movie is not original. This is based on a manga of the same name which began back in 1989, which later had multiple anime flicks, video games, and TV shows. The first “Ghost in the Shell” movie came out in 1995 and now it is considered to be one of the greatest anime films of all time. People praise it for how it is presented visually and having watched the movie, I can totally see why. If you ask me, I don’t watch much anime, so I can’t judge whether or not this belongs with the greats. I have watched this movie in the past and enjoyed it, but I’m just getting this out. That’s not all I’ll say about this, and this will be important later in the review.

Let’s talk about the main character of Major Motoko Kusanagi. As far as character traits go, she was very similar to the character I witnessed in the 1995 movie, which is a good thing and a bad thing. I do respect this movie for relying heavily on its source material and utilizing it throughout the runtime. She has a similar personality and she looks similar (for the most part) to the character in the 1995 version.

Now, let’s get into two topics meshed together. Asia and… CONTROVERSY! What does that mean? We’re gonna be talking about North Korea. Haha, just kidding, we’re gonna be talking about Japan. What about Japan? The atomic bomb droppings at the end of World War II. Haha, just kidding again, although we are bringing Japan into this. When the “Ghost in the Shell” franchise began, it all started in Japan, so naturally, just about everything that was being made which happened to be related to the franchise is considered a Japanese product. This movie however was made as a Hollywood product from Paramount and DreamWorks. The movie also has Scarlett Johanson playing the main character, which a lot of audiences were mad about because it’s an example of whitewashing, or what is referred to as taking a character of a certain race that isn’t white and having a white person fill in the shoes of the role. This has been done in “Aloha,” with a main character named Allison Ng played by Emma Stone, in “Doctor Strange” with the Ancient One played by Tilda Swinton, and in “Gods of Egypt” with just about every character in the movie. Months ago I was surfing the web, and I came across something that said the Japanese audiences who were into this movie were shocked about the outrage. As I’m writing this review, I came across an article from The Hollywood Reporter and it features a quote from a mega manga fan named Tetsuya Kataoka. Tetsuya said “If you want a Japanese cast, then a Japanese company should make the film in Japan,” and someone else said that having a white person, while not as great as having a Japanese person, is better than having a Chinese person. As far as that statement goes, I disagree because Japanese and Chinese people somewhat look the same, but white people don’t look as similar to those two races. Granted Chinese people and Japanese people have slight differences from each other, but they’re more similar to each other than white people are to either of them. Now as far as casting anyone that is a different race than what would be expected for a certain character, is a con for me before going into a movie and I don’t care if it involves whitewashing or not. Although I will say, in general, Johanson does a fine job as Major, and if there were any white people to cast as this character, Johanson, looking back, would definitely had been a good pick.

Now I know what some of you might be thinking, “Jack, what the hell is wrong with you? Is your brain wired incorrectly? You’re only saying this because you think Scarlett is hot!” To answer that possible thought, I will say, yes, she is hot. I even point that out, maybe a little more times than necessary during my countdown of my 10 favorite Marvel Cinematic Universe films (link down below if you want to check it out). However, that’s not necessarily why I approve of this casting choice. I approve of this casting choice because of how Scarlett played the character, it made me feel like I was watching someone who was actually Japanese, it was definitely artificial, but in some ways, I bought it.

I’m not really gonna talk much about the other characters but I’ll go over some details about them. A number of these characters are also part of the source material and the casting along with the costume design is rather faithful to the franchise, and yes, there are Japanese people in this movie!

I just recently mentioned that Japanese and Chinese folks are similar to each other in many ways. You know something else? “Ghost in the Shell” from 1995 is vastly similar to “Ghost in the Shell” from 2017. This is essentially a live-action remake of the 1995 version only with a few tweaks. So in a way, it’s almost similar to what Disney is doing with a lot of their movies like “The Jungle Book” and “Cinderella.” There’s also a cliche that older material is superior to recreations of the older material, and in the case of “Ghost in the Shell,” that cliche applies here. This, to me, was especially noticeable during the action sequences, which were all eye candy, but they also looked like something I’ve witnessed before.

Basically the action sequences shown throughout the picture all resemble an action sequence we’ve gotten in the 1995 movie. I will say, the first action sequence, the one where we see Major shattering the window of a building, may be better than the sequence it resembles. The one on the right image above wasn’t as good as its counterpart which I have in mind however. The climatic battle in this movie, was somewhat equal to the climactic battle in the original, although it might lose points for that now that I think about it, there’s no originality brought to the table here. I know this is a remake, but I think some things a remake should do are either take a spin on something that could pay off, or improve flaws or imperfections that one would have with the original.

One last positive I will give is the movie’s visual effects, this feels futuristic, pretty, and glossy. The city in “Ghost in the Shell” somewhat feels like a glossier version of the city you’d see in “The Fifth Element.” Then again you can take “Star Wars Episode II” and say Coruscant, based on one scene from that movie, you’d probably know it if you watched the movie, is a glossier version of the city you’d see in “The Fifth Element,” only in that movie it was more of a rip off than anything else! Although, this does make me think of a problem that I’m hearing a lot from people concerning the DCEU films, which is that while they may have great effects and sequences, the story and characters don’t really make up for it. I thought similarly about “Ghost in the Shell,” while I did appreciate the movie visually, I couldn’t appreciate it in a lot of other ways. I tried to like Scarett Jo’s interpretation of the main character, and I liked it various ways, but I don’t think it’ll be remembered as much as what we’ve seen before her interpretation. I didn’t really find the supporting characters interesting, I was just waiting for another cool action sequence because that was the only part of the movie I felt worked so far aside from looking at visuals in general.

In the end, “Ghost of the Shell,” while visually appealing, really could have been improved on a number of other levels. The movie bored me, I may have almost fallen asleep at times, and I wouldn’t say it was worth the $30 I paid for it at the store. I will say this, I would recommend this as a test movie. What do I mean? If you purchase a new media player, like a 4K player or Blu-Ray player, or perhaps a new TV, buy this movie in a high-resolution format and just stare at the TV in awe, because this is like looking at a statue that’s incredibly clean and very well-kept, but at the same time, it’s extremely obscure and not many people would seem to know or care about what they’re looking at. I’m gonna give “Ghost in the Shell,” the live-action remake, a 4/10. This movie, to me, reminded me of when I went to see “Warcraft,” it’s eye candy, but the rest of the movie leaves a bit to be desired. One plus I will add though, out of a lot of bad movies I’ve seen, this isn’t one of those bad ones where I literally raged throughout the entire thing. For the record, I even do that during good movies like “Spider-Man: Homecoming” and “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.”


Thanks for reading this review, I would like to let everyone know that this weekend I will be at a convention called Terrificon. This is taking place at the convention center located inside Mohegan Sun casino in Uncasville, CT. There’s gonna be some celebrity guests there including some guests from TV’s “Batman,” Burt Ward (Robin) and Lee Merriweather (Catwoman), other guests include folks such as Sean Gunn (Gilmore Girls, Guardians of the Galaxy), Chris Sullivan (This is Us, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2), and Shannon Purser (Stranger Things, Riverdale). There will also be a focus on comics, a celebration of Jack Kirby’s birthday, and a tribute to the one, the only, Adam West. Or is it Adam We? If you get that reference tell me what it’s from down below, I’ll tell you whether or not it’s right, and if you’re right, I command you to pat yourself on the back, unless your hands and arms don’t work. If you see me at the convention and recognize me, don’t hesitate to say hi, I will remember to bring blue sunglasses to make myself look more distinguishable. I’ll be there all three days, August 18-20, but I’ll be at the convention center for Friday and Saturday, just a warning. I can’t wait, it’s gonna be epic! As far as other reviews go, I’m planning on seeing “The Glass Castle” sometime soon and we’ll see what else happens in the near future. Stay tuned for more reviews, and I’ll ask you, what do you think about the “Ghost in the Shell” franchise? What is your favorite edition of the manga? What is your favorite of the movie released in the franchise? What are your thoughts on the video games and the TV shows? Let me know all that down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Where Are The Original Movies?


Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Let me ask you a question. What are some movies you’ve seen recently in the theater? I’m willing to bet some of you might say films like these: “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” “Wonder Woman,” “Fifty Shades Darker,” “The LEGO Batman Movie,” “John Wick: Chapter 2,” “The Mummy,” “Kong: Skull Island,” “Transformers: The Last Knight,” “Beauty and the Beast,” “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” “War For the Planet of the Apes,” “Annabelle: Creation,” “The Fate of the Furious,” “Ghost in the Shell,” or “Power Rangers.” What do these films have in common? Well, none of them are original, they’re all based on something.

If something has been proven recently, at least from my observations, it’s that Hollywood has a desire for taking ideas which have been done in the past, either as an art form or as a real-life event, maybe in some cases regardless of how interesting they are, and making their own adaptations out of it. Even some of the greatest directors of all time have done this, directors who have come up with BRILLIANT original ideas. Christopher Nolan for example, he did the “The Dark Knight” trilogy and he also did “Insomnia,” which is a 2002 remake of a movie released in 1997 which goes by the same name. Robert Zemeckis, the director of the “Back to the Future” trilogy and “Cast Away” has done films based on true events, including “The Walk” and “Forrest Gump,” which were both well received. Joss Whedon, well known for creating original TV shows which have been well received by various people such as “Firefly” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” has eventually gone on to direct Marvel’s “The Avengers,” released in 2012, along with “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” released in 2015. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of times when unoriginal content can work.

There have been plenty of comic book movies that are making buttloads of money at the box office. If one thing has been proven over the past few years, it’s that people, no matter what age, love superheroes. I love em too. When it comes to superhero movies, I generally find them to be fun movies where I can just munch on popcorn for a couple of hours, enjoy some action, perhaps get a few laughs out of my system, or just simply get completely caught up with whatever is going on in a studio’s “cinematic universe,” which both Marvel and DC have going for them at the moment.

There have also been highly appreciated book-based adaptations, in fact, there are some movies that exist I don’t even think some people realize were based on books, or if they do realize that, they never bothered to read them, including “The Martian,” “Arrival,” “Room,” “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” and the entire “Lord of the Rings” saga. Another set of unoriginal ideas that have usually worked include movies based on true events. You might see a number of these around the Oscar season including “Deepwater Horizon,” “The Lone Survivor,” “Zero Dark Thirty,” “Ray,” and “The Hurt Locker.” These films are usually powerful, while also paying tribute to someone or something associated with an event of focus shown throughout, and while they might not always be ENTIRELY TRUE bit by bit, they can make for compelling and interesting stories.

When it comes to misses on unoriginal ideas, one thing people often point to, are remakes and reboots. There are a number of comic book adaptations that are getting rebooted left and right, I’m looking at you “Spider-Man” and “Batman.” Although there have been remakes of movies that were done in the past that have been well received as original ideas, but poorly received as unoriginal ideas. These include “Point Break,” “Ghostbusters,” “Psycho,” “The Wicker Man,” and “Poltergeist.” I don’t work for Hollywood in any way, shape, or form, I’d like to, and I have some ideas for movies and TV shows, both original and unoriginal, but there’s no time to get into that. Although as one who doesn’t work for Hollywood, people like me usually assume that people who think remakes, reboots, and other unoriginal content are what studios should be putting out are just “lazy.” And it may be true, after all, people might sometimes go see a movie if it is something they’re familiar with. As a kid, I was familiar with “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” both the books and the original movie, so when I heard “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules” was coming out in 2011, I figured I’d go see that. When “The Amazing Spider-Man” was coming out, I went to see that. I went through this phase for awhile, I barely saw any movies in theaters, although in 2013, that changed, I started getting into other material, and YouTube had an overload of trailers that I checked out and became interested in, therefore intriguing me to see movies involving original ideas such as “The Internship,” otherwise known as, a near 2 hour Google commercial, although not a bad one. “Pacific Rim,” which combines monster movies and “Power Rangers.” and “Gravity,” which might as well be called “The 3D Is So Amazing, You Can’t Even Tell It’s Post Converted!” Now that we’re here in 2017, I think original ideas aren’t happening as often, or, if they are still happening as often, they’re not as successful as I feel they could or should be. Just look at the box office totals for 2017 thus far. I checked Wikipedia’s “2017 in film” page, and the top 10 films in terms of what they earned at the box office are currently all unoriginal.

The movies I found on the list in order from the highest earned total to the lowest happen to be “Beauty and the Beast,” “The Fate of the Furious,” “Despicable Me 3,” “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” “Wonder Woman,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” “Wolf Warriors 2,” “Logan,” and “Transformers: The Last Knight.” After seeing this, I went to a page on Box Office Mojo dedicated to the box office results of 2017, and the highest grossing movie I saw on the list which was original happened to be “Your Name,” an animation from Studio Ghibli. I’ve heard fantastic things about the film so far, I haven’t watched it, but I heard great things. This film is at the #15 spot on the list, which interested me. The movie didn’t make much money where I live, which is the US, but it did make money in other countries. I noticed it made lots in Japan, which didn’t really shock me considering how Studio Ghibli is a Japanese animation company. But I also took into account that it made loads in China and South Korea. It’s easy to see why it would make money in countries like Japan, Studio Ghibli is Japanese, it’s an animation which is going to encourage people to bring younger audiences along for the ride, “Spirited Away,” another piece of work from Studio Ghibli was Japan’s highest grossing film ever when that came out, and Studio Ghibli has an excellent track record with their movies. Don’t understand? Just look up films such as “When Marnie Was There,” “My Neighbor Totoro,” “Howl’s Moving Castle,” and “Castle in the Sky.” In a way, Studio Ghibli, may as well be viewed by Japanese audiences in a similar way to how American audiences view Pixar.

One time period that interested me when it came to the making of original content is the 1980s. This was something that came to mind after reading Curtis Armstrong’s new memoir, “Revenge of the Nerd.” In case you don’t know who Curtis Armstrong is, he is a famous actor, and in this book, he talks about his days as a stage actor, converting into a film actor, and everything before and after. At multiple points throughout the book, he’s talking about the “Revenge of the Nerds” series, a series which may contain a defining role for Curtis, Dudley “Booger” Dawson. In case you didn’t know, that series has four installments, although it almost didn’t even make it to two. The first installment came out in 1984, and 20th Century Fox, the studio who owns the movie, thought it was a travesty that belonged in movie hell. For the record, this became a cult classic and perhaps one of the most quotable comedies ever. Just the “Nerds!” chant alone is stuck in my head. 20th Century Fox thought that because of this movie, they should put an embargo against any sequels. Armstrong states in a chapter dedicated to “Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise,” “Fox still considered Revenge of the Nerds a misstep and, in addition, had implemented a strict studio-wide no-sequel rule as part of their new “quality-control” policy. As far as quality control went, it was successful in eliminating sequels but it didn’t stop them from continuing to release plenty of inferior product. But it was “original” inferior product, so that was okay.” I’ll say, just be glad that “Return of the Jedi” came out in 1983 or we probably would have less of a chance of seeing that movie come to life, perhaps zero chance even! Although, if the sequel embargo were still around, “The Phantom Menace” would have probably never been made so that’s one disappointment of the embargo going away. Well, as long as prequels count here too and not just sequels. “Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise” was actually the first sequel to be green-lit by Fox once the sequel embargo was no more, as Curtis heard from one of the cast members from the series, Robert Carradine, who’s known for playing the character of Lewis. What people like Curtis and Bobby saw from Fox in the 1980s is pretty much the opposite of what everyone’s seeing today from just about every film studio. Boy have times changed!

When I look at studios today, not to mention people making pitches to studios, I kind of feel bad at times. Part of me imagines a reason why we aren’t seeing original ideas anymore. That reason being, is that studios are afraid. What are they afraid of? Not getting enough money, and they see a movie that has been successful in the past and their brain is directed towards remaking that movie instead of new and fresh movie. Just look at Disney right now!

Here’s a question. When was the last time Disney made an original movie? OK, it actually wasn’t that long ago with films like “Zootopia” and “Moana,” but they’ve released LOTS of unoriginal content over the past few years! Disney seems to have a fetish for live action remakes, with movies like “Cinderella,” “The Jungle Book,” “Pete’s Dragon,” “Beauty and the Beast,” and you even have remakes for “Aladdin” and “The Lion King” currently in the works. Lucasfilm, which has “Star Wars,” was once owned by Fox, but now they’re part of Disney! So you can basically say that Leia is now technically a “Disney Princess!” Disney even owns Marvel, so basically every single movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is a Disney movie! Fox still has the rights to “Fantastic Four” and “X-Men,” but Disney has “Iron Man,” “The Avengers,” “The Incredible Hulk,” “Captain America,” “Doctor Strange,” “Thor,” “Guardians of the Galaxy,” “Ant-Man,” and part of the rights to “Spider-Man.” They are continuing to make separate stories about superheroes including “Black Panther” and “Captain Marvel.”

Despite what I’m seeing with all of these unoriginal ideas, I still occasionally take a glance at original ideas every once in a while when the opportunity comes up. This year, when it comes to original ideas, I’ve seen movies like “Baby Driver,” “You Can’t Have It,” “Gifted,” “Snatched,” and “Colossal.” Believe it or not, I actually dislike three out of these five films. Although I wouldn’t say they’re absolute atrocities, except for “Snatched.” I walked out of “Baby Driver” and “Colossal” with grades of at least 9/10. This is a sign that original films can still rock. When it comes to the box office, “Baby Driver” was on the higher end of the spectrum this year, not as high as “Your Name,” but so far it’s beating unoriginal content like “Power Rangers,” “The Emoji Movie” if that counts, “Rings,” and “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie.” For “Colossal,” that film’s in the middle when it comes to the box office as a whole this year, but keep in mind that it’s a film from a studio that’s just starting out and it wasn’t in too many theaters. “Colossal” is an independent film directed by Nacho Vigalondo, and it’s being distributed by Neon, and according to Wikipedia, this is the first film Neon ever distributed. For home video, they have a distribution deal with Universal, which part of me dislikes because they’re owned by Comcast and I hate those psychos right now, but whatever. They haven’t done many films right now, so if you’re perhaps an independent filmmaker and looking for a distributor, try looking into Neon.

Another hope for originality, believe it or not, is Amazon. How do I know? Recently I Googled, “how long does it take for an amazon original movie to become free” because I wanted to check out an Amazon Studios movie called “The Wall,” but I was also curious, as an Amazon Prime member, the average time it takes for a movie under Amazon to become free to Prime members. I clicked on the first result that came up, stating: “Amazon Studios Frequently Asked Questions : Amazon Studios.” Before we get any further into this, Amazon has done original movies including “Manchester by the Sea,” “Paterson,” and “The Neon Demon,” and even done original TV shows including “Transparent,” “Goliath,” and “Sneaky Pete.” When it comes to the process of making something such as a movie or TV show which can be distributed by Amazon, it’s all explained where I checked. This whole process is not for minors, however if you are 18 or over you can submit your ideas to Amazon all you want, which honestly just excites me. Why? I turn 18 in November. So if I have an idea that I feel could make a good script and it’s completed when I’m 18 or older, I can submit it to Amazon! As far as I know, Amazon hasn’t done much unoriginal content whatsoever, they’ve taken content that revolves in one way or another around past events including “The Man in the High Castle,” “The Big Sick,” and “Gleason.” Another part that a lot of consumers might enjoy is one that I somewhat hinted at not long ago, if an Amazon Prime member ends up watching your movie on Amazon once its out of theaters and releases on home video, chances are it might be free, because Amazon has a list of exclusive films and they’re all free for Prime members.

I want to know, do you have an original idea for a movie or TV show? Well, if you do, I recommend pitching it somewhere, probably Amazon, but if you want to leave a comment as to what your original idea is, go ahead! But be careful, because if you don’t pitch it, that idea could be someone else’s, possibly mine! I would give my own ideas, but there could be a chance that some schmuck could see it and possibly steal it in a couple months!


Thanks for reading this post, I once again want to remind everyone that next weekend I’ll be at Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, CT for Terrificon, a three day convention lasting from Friday August 18, to Sunday August 20. I’ll be at the convention center on Friday and Saturday, but I will be in the building all three days, although I won’t be there for long on Sunday. I’m planning on possibly livestreaming for some of the convention on Twitter, so follow my account, @JackDrees, if you want to check some of that out, but that’s if I actually livestream. Also, if you are at Mohegan Sun for the weekend, don’t hesitate to give a hello to me if you know who I am or recognize me. You might just find me somewhere wearing blue sunglasses. And no, not for cosplay purposes. I’m not sure if I want to do any future posts on the convention, like on what I get there or anything like that, but only time will tell. But if you do want to check out my post that I did, exposing some details about the convention itself, I’ll have a link to that down below, and if you want to check out the website for Terrificon, I’ll have a link to that down below as well! Stay tuned for more posts and reviews! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!



Man Arrested For Pleasuring Himself at a Showing of The Emoji Movie *CHILDREN MAY READ AT THEIR OWN RISK*


Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! In case you didn’t glance over the entire title of this post, this post is a bit unsuitable for younger viewers. This involves masturbation, so if you let your children read this blog, let them read at their own risk, otherwise, enjoy reading this! So, where was I? Oh yeah, right. Based on my recent reviews, my brain is scarred! I’m still alive, but I feel appalled. I recently reviewed “The Emoji Movie” and “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming,” I want something good to review! Speaking of terrible films such as “The Emoji Movie,” we’re actually going to talk about it. Not about the movie, not about its poor reception, not about how it’s an abomination against humanity and how it literally is a disgrace for solely existing, we’re gonna talk about one specific moviegoer who, let’s just say, “had some fun” at “The Emoji Movie.” I can’t freaking believe I’m saying that!

Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s dive into New Jersey, a US state with towns that have fascinating names including: Mahwah, Paramus, and Hackensack. There’s a theater called Xscape located in the town of Howell, a less interesting name, where the event of focus here occurred. During a showing of “The Emoji Movie,” “a white, heavyset man in his 20s or 30s” was one of the members of the audience during a showing on Thursday, August 3rd, and hopefully one of the ONLY members of the audience. There was also a woman there with her children, she noticed the man with his pants unzipped, stroking himself.

According to the woman there at the scene, she said the man “was seated alone in the back row of the theater.” If you ask me, you shouldn’t masturbate in a movie theater, especially if it’s a family film we’re talking about here, but I’ll give credit to the man for sitting in the back so nobody had to be distracted by him from behind. Nevertheless, despite what was said about this man being in his 20s or 30s, it turns out the man was actually 43 years old. His name is Abraham Parnes and he was charged with lewdness and left on a summons. You know what he didn’t leave with? A refund for his ticket for “The Emoji Movie.”

In all seriousness though, before the arrest occurred, the manager was aware of all this. The woman actually reported the incident to the manager, the manager came into the theater and told the guy to leave. Once the woman got home, she called the police, and the police eventually arrested the man.

There are multiple things that happen that very rarely take place, or might even occur only once, and remain that way. There’s only one time the Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series, not to mention there’s only one time they even made it to the World Series at all. Jimmy Carter served as the US president for only one term. The TV show “Firefly,” which is now beyond revered among the nerd community, only lasted for one season on FOX. Multiple things seem to happen only once, and never again. Masturbating in movie theaters IS NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

While cell phone use in movie theaters is a lot more common than masturbation in movie theaters, this is not a one-time thing. Another fellow who was once caught masturbating in a movie theater goes by the name of Paul Reubens, to some of you, this name might sound familiar. If it does, chances are you may know him as Pee-Wee Herman in “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” and as Lock in “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Between the releases of both pieces of work, Paul Reubens went to an adult theater in 1991, where he too was caught masturbating. He defended himself overtime in an interview to Playboy, but people still recall his arrest. So yeah, Paul had a hell of time with his pee-wee. My biggest question is this, what did Paul see in the theater? He went to an adult theater after all, so if it wasn’t related to porn then what excuse did he have to play with himself? Part of me wonders if what he was watching happened to be so boring that he had nothing better to do than jack off. He could have walked out of the auditorium and whipped it out at home, perhaps he could have purchased a Playboy Magazine beforehand! But apparently that wasn’t the best idea for him. So instead of buying a magazine from Playboy that could have made him avoid this incident, he attended an interview by Playboy which partially involved this incident. Now that I say all of this boredom stuff, I wonder if that was the reason for Abraham masturbating during “The Emoji Movie.” Was the movie too boring and he wanted to make the experience more interesting? In fact when I ask if the movie is boring, I know I’m asking a rhetorical question. Just look at the reviews for the movie! Here’s some quotes from a few:

JOHNNY OLEKSINSKI (New York Post): “Hear that? It’s the end of the world.”

MICHAEL ARBEITER (Nerdist): “perhaps the most convoluted high-concept science fiction film you’ll see all year.”

MARA REINSTEIN: ( “Excuse me while I scan my phone for the vomit emoji.”

This is a case of either getting bored or the moviegoer started getting horny after looking at Jailbreak or Flamenca. Anything could have happened to make the guy start stroking his “eggplant” but who knows what?

I will say, I never masturbated in a movie theater, I mean, why would I do that?! I’m there to watch a movie, not jerk off! If I went to a theater with the intention to jerk off, that would probably be a porn theater! Although chances are I can’t really go in one of those because I’m not eighteen yet. Plus I don’t even think any places like those even exist in the first place! I can imagine some theaters thought it was fine for some people to jerk off during films like “Showgirls” or “Fifty Shades of Grey” or “Secretary” or “Magic Mike.” OK, maybe I’m going too far with that, maybe they didn’t think it’s “fine,” it would likely get the seats wet but maybe they thought it was somewhat, well, let’s say, “understandable.”

I could ask if you have ever done anything dirty in a movie theater but that just seems extremely eccentric, so instead I’ll ask this. What is the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed in a movie theater? It could be anything, it could be a movie, it could be anything in the bathroom, it could involve a person, anything. Let me know in the comments! Also, be sure to check out my review for “The Emoji Movie!” I have the link for it below if you want to check it out, it’s a good read! Another thing I’ll state is that I don’t know what I’ll see next, I do have intentions to see “The Glass Castle,” hopefully I could see something before next weekend because I’ll be at Terrificon in Uncasville, CT! If you’re at the Mohegan Sun casino and happen to recognize my face from August 18-August 20, be sure to say hi if you want to! Also if you want more info on the convention itself, I have a post dedicated to it that’s essentially a preview. Tickets are still available for the event although if you want tickets for it, get them quick because Saturday and Sunday tickets are selling fast, not to mention, the convention is less than a week away! Stay tuned for more posts and reviews, and I hope I can see something soon, even if it’s worse than “The Emoji Movie!” Scene Before is your click to the flicks!




Sharknado 5: Global Swarming: Another Attempt at Jumping the Shark

You know what I’m afraid of? Sharks. You know what I’m also afraid of? I’m afraid of the “Sharknado” franchise and what it is doing to the movie-viewers of our world! These movies just keep on coming out even though they just plain suck! Now that we have five of these, I have yet another crapfest to suffer through!


So… it’s come to this. “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” is directed by Anthony Ferrante, who also directed the first four “Sharknado” installments. This movie stars Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills, 90210, Godzilla: The Series), Tara Reid (The Big Lebowski, American Pie), Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables, Universal Soldier), and Cassandra Scerbo (Make It or Break It, Not Another Not Another Movie). I could tell you that this movie is about stupidity and leave at that, but since I attempt to put a lot of effort into my reviews, perhaps more than various films I watch, I’ll dive into the plot. The plot is that the whole shark-tornado phenomenon has gone global. This all starts in the city of London, where our heroes are meeting with NATO, unfortunately for Ian Ziering and Tara Reid’s characters, they lose their son, Gil. Now in order to save him, they must travel into a sharknado (laughs).

I’ve watched multiple installments of “Sharknado” before, in fact I’ve actually reviewed “Sharknado 4: The Forth Awakens” when that came out. What did I think of that movie? Well, it was a piece of s*it. And you know something? The same can be said about “Global Swarming.” “Sharknado” is a franchise I know a number of people like… for some reason. They know it’s cheesy, they know it’s bad, but they still enjoy it. What do I think? I can’t stand it. To me, “Sharknado,” as far as movies on TV go, is like the “Transformers” franchise when it comes to movies you see in the theater. Only difference is that I can find enjoyment out of “Transformers.” Although when I saw the fifth one, I was kind of just done with it. Now that we have FIVE “Sharknados,” I’m just BEGGING to Syfy to just bury it in the ground. I get this is a TV film and it’s kind of meant to be cheesy, but there’s so much that is happening, so much that I complained about while watching this crap that it literally destroyed my mind afterward. Down below I have an actual tweet from my account that I posted last night, moments after finishing “Sharknado 5.”

Also, I livetweeted through this s*itfest, much like a great portion of people who own a TV, here’s some of my tweets:

Want to watch this movie? If you said no, I wouldn’t blame you. Anyway, let’s talk about the characters. That is if, they’re actually characters, to me they’re really just people written, I’m sorry, I mean, SCRIBBLED on a page for the sake of making a so-called story.

We’ll start off by talking about April, played by Tara Reid, one of the only positives in the entire movie, and possibly the franchise, only because she’s hot. Although then again, saying that is almost like saying that I’m dating the best girlfriend in the world because she’s the best looking woman I found on, I don’t know, Tinder or something, and she’s great at sex. But in reality, my girlfriend has no personality, just sex appeal. Well I guess my girlfriend’s actually not that great then. Other than that, I don’t care about her, I can’t really relate to her, I just literally wanted every character in this film to die. Although one plus I can give April is that she didn’t ruin the “Star Wars” line “May the force be with you,” once more. All the other things I remember about her character is that she is basically an 80’s humanoid at one point, and she does all sorts of shark-killing s*it. What else is there to remember? Oh my gosh, I’m GETTING A HEADACHE WHILE WRITING THIS REVIEW! I DON’T THINK I’M KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT! Then again you can’t see me, so, what do I know, what do you know, what does anyone know?

Let’s get to stupid character #2 and talk about Fin Shepard, played by Ian Ziering. I barely recall anything he did in this movie much like April. I just remember he was there for shark killing, he was looking for his son, and I also remember him at the end. I SWEAR to you, this movie is ultra-forgettable. It’s RARE for me to actually forget about a movie shortly after I see it. When the movie’s two leads are barely even memorable other than their names, that’s a problem. And I’ve seen every “Sharknado” movie. THAT’S A FACT. I watched the first one, I saw the sequel but it was being riffed by Rifftrax, I saw the third one but it was more of something that was just on in the background, I don’t really recall that much, I witnessed, livetweeted, and reviewed the fourth one, and now I saw this monstrosity. Also, one of the things I hated the most about this film is this line he gives to the pope, “Forgive father, for I am Fin.” I lost my mind when I heard that crap!

Also returning in “Sharknado 5” we have the character of Nova, played by Cassandra Scerbo. I remember her more in the first minutes of the original “Sharknado” compared to “Sharknado 5” so that says something you need to know about this character. Once again, I barely remember anything about Nova, I don’t care about her, and I was just like, why are all of these people I’m tweeting alongside with obsessed with her? Is it because of how hot she looked in the first movie when she was in her bathing suit? By that logic, Nicola Peltz’s character from “Transformers: Age of Extinction” must be a phenomenal character because she’s a 10/10 when it comes to looks, even though she didn’t give a good performance.

Last but not least when it comes to “characters,” we’re gonna focus on Gil. I don’t have an image for him, couldn’t find too many likable ones, so bear with me. I HATE GIL. I thought he was just plain annoying in “Sharknado 4” but now that we’re somehow here in “Sharknado 5,” he’s gone from bad to worse. While he wasn’t technically as annoying as he was in the installment before this new one, he played a huge part in the movie, which ultimately made me not root for anybody in. He got sucked into a sharknado, and now it is up to April and Fin to save him. I may be a dick for saying this, but seriously, after hearing this kid squeal in the last movie I was just done with him, I was like, “Goodbye kid, I don’t need you no more.” Although when it was revealed that April and Fin were going to try saving him, I lost my s*it. Sure, it’s their kid, but that kid f*cked up my brain in the worst way possible!

Another reason why people watch these films are the celebrity cameos. And while they aren’t really cringeworthy, you can’t help but think, “Why are they here?” You’re seeing all of these people: Claudia Jordan (Deal or no Deal, The Price is Right), Abby Lee Miller (Dance Moms), Fabio, and Tony Hawk, how much are they being paid? Are they being forced to do this against their will? The only cameo I ended up liking and remembering was Gilbert Gottfried’s, which was one of the cameos, if not the only cameo I ended up liking in the fourth movie. Although after seeing this movie, I’m glad I can think to myself that Gottfried is still putting out quality content and not just this stuff. Seriously! Have you seen a couple of this year’s episodes of “Last Week Tonight?” His voice is dubbed over the voice of Jared Kushner!

Let’s get this out of the way. Two things I hate in life are Comcast and product placement. This movie, unfortunately, combines the two together. This is actually, believe it or not, something that occurred in “Sharknado 4,” and seeing it here, it’s actually not as bad here as it was there. In fact, if I remember correctly, I believe there’s less product placement in this movie than the previous one. Although when it comes to Xfinity at the end of the film, the film began to make me screech like a fire alarm. I get it Syfy, you’re owned by NBCUniversal, a Comcast company, doesn’t change the fact I think this is s*itty product placement and it makes me angry!

In the end, “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” continues to make me lose my faith in humanity. We’ve created masterpieces such as “The Wizard of Oz,” “Back to the Future,” “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” now this is the entertainment that people want. I want more quality content, I don’t care what it is, just give it to me! At least “Jaws” listened to viewers and knew when to stop making movies, they stopped at four installments, this series is still going, and it’s gonna keep going until the end of time… (Sigh). One last complaint I have before I give my final verdict is the screaming. I get it, it’s a sharknado, but this movie didn’t learn it’s lesson from the last movie and to not give a headache to its audience from the screaming. Surprisingly, Tara Reid gave an annoying scream. I couldn’t believe what I was watching. I don’t watch “Game of Thrones,” but I was watching this, and I knew someone else on Twitter who was watching this too, at one point they changed the channel to HBO to watch “Game of Thrones,” I imagine they made the right choice. I’m gonna give “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” a 1/10. “Sharknado,” I need you to learn from the pros, although I don’t think you’ll listen to me because you’re a TV movie, know when to settle down. Joel Schumacher’s “Batman” series stopped after a couple of installments, the older “Superman” movies stopped at “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace,” “Back to the Future” stopped as a trilogy, take notes. Just let your series become obscure enough for no one to ever have to experience again, and we shall have peace. Thanks for reading this review, I kind of hope I’d watch a better movie after watching “The Emoji Movie” recently, but what can you do? Although if you do want to check out my review for “The Emoji Movie” be sure to click the link down below and check it out! Also, if you’re somehow into “Sharknado” or you just want to see me talk about more bad movies, be sure to check out my review for “Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens.” It’s been over a year since I reviewed that piece of crap and the fact that it exists, much like the movie we’re focusing on, is a sin in itself. Stay tuned for more reviews! I want to know, what do you think of this movie? Do you like the “Sharknado” franchise? Do you think I’m being too hard on it? Let me know in the comments! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!



Transformers “Bumblebee” Spinoff to Release Same Day as Aquaman, PLUS WHY THIS IS A BAD IDEA

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! I enjoy watching big budgeted blockbusters. They are movies I can have fun with regardless of how serious they portray themselves. These partially include some of the comic book based movies we’ve gotten over the years. I enjoyed movies like “Captain America: Civil War,” “Wonder Woman,” and “Doctor Strange.” Now, if you have been following movies in recent years, you may notice every winter, there’s that one blockbuster movie that everybody goes to see. In 2009, that was “Avatar.” In 2012, that was “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.” In 2015, that was “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens.” This year, I bet that movie will be the next “Star Wars,” but in 2018, you’ve got a number of blockbusters coming out that people will probably see, including “Aquaman” and “Bumblebee.” Now if you are unfamiliar with these upcoming films, let me give you a little info as to what kind of ride you’re in for.

“Aquaman” is going to be based on a popular DC Comics character. This movie is going to star Jason Momoa (Baywatch, Conan the Barbarian) as the title character, it is in the same universe as “Man of Steel,” “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice,” “Suicide Squad,” “Wonder Woman,” and “Justice League,” which is to be released this November. The main premise is that Arthur Curry, AKA Aquaman, learns he is the heir of the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, and he must face front to his folks and be a hero to the world.

“Bumblebee” is part of the “Transformers” franchise. This installment is specifically directed towards the series established starting in 2007 with “Transformers,” directed by Michael Bay. This film is a spinoff to those movies, exclusively about Bumblebee, one of the recurring autobot characters from the series. The movie is also going to also feature characters played by Hailee Steinfeld (The Edge of Seventeen, Pitch Perfect 2), Pamela Adlon (King of the Hill, Californication), and pro wrestler/prank call meme, John Cena (The Wall, American Grit). This film is set to take place in the 1980s, where we see Bumblebee as a VW.

Now I’ll ask you, which of these movies sounds more exciting? If you said “Aquaman,” I wouldn’t be surprised. As of now I think both movies probably aren’t gonna be fantastic, but we’ll see what happens. Why am I not surprised if you said “Aquaman?” Well, let’s start with the obvious, it’s a f*cking superhero movie. If anything gets audiences in the theater nowadays, it’s superheroes. “Deadpool,” which was released last year is now officially the highest grossing R rated movie ever made except for “The Passion of the Christ.” Marvel’s “The Avengers” is the #5 movie ever in terms of worldwide gross. 2017 has seen a huge success when it comes to superhero movies at the box office. This has been proven with movies like “Wonder Woman,” “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” “Logan,” and “The LEGO Batman Movie.” Not to mention, people are hyping the hell out of movies like “Thor Ragnarok” and “Justice League.” The superhero train has been going on for a long time and something tells me it won’t come to a stop for a while.

As far as “Transformers” goes, the concept is not bad at all, the reason why people go see these movies because it involves giant robots fighting. Although if there’s something the “Transformers” series has taught its viewers, it’s that the robot fighting isn’t really the main focal point. So far there have been five installments in Michael Bay’s “Transformers” franchise. Right now, one of them is still in theaters, and not surprisingly, not many people seem to enjoy the latest addition. If you ever read my review for the fifth and previous installment, otherwise known as “Transformers: The Last Knight,” you may notice I share a similar opinion. None of the movies in the franchise are masterpieces in any sense of the word. I consider the first “Transformers” to be underrated, but it’s not the next tour de force or anything. The second installment is mediocre. The third one is almost as good as the first one, but the ending is kind of weird. The fourth one is not great, but it has some likability throughout. The latest one however is my least favorite in the franchise, and while there some things I admired throughout, I ultimately remember getting physically angry during the presentation. Another thing I’ll state has to do with the box office. Judging by worldwide numbers, “Transformers” has made $709,709,780 at the box office. “Revenge of the Fallen” made more with a total of $836,303,693. “Dark of the Moon” made a total of $1,123,794,079 making it #15 on the all time worldwide box office list. From then on, the totals shrunk, “Age of Extinction,” despite making a lot of money, didn’t live up to the success of the third movie with a worldwide total of $1,104,054,072. Although that movie did incredibly well in China and it became one of the all time highest grossing movies ever released in that country. The fifth movie is currently not at the lowest spot on this list but it’s not as high as “Revenge of the Fallen,” but also keep in mind that the film recently came out. As of now, it has $570,708,186 and counting. Could it at least beat the second movie? Who knows?

Let’s also judge based on quality here. I mentioned before that none of these “Transformers” movies are masterpieces despite earning tons of money, the same can be said for some movies made by the guys who own “Aquaman,” Warner Bros. and DC. Much like Marvel, DC is getting its own cinematic universe, which is known as the DCEU, AKA the Detective Comics Extended Universe. This will continue with the release of “Justice League” on November 17th of this year. While most of the DCEU movies so far have gotten some form of divide from movie to movie, the most recent released work, “Wonder Woman,” was generally well received. In fact, it’s one of the few films this year I gave a 10/10 to. Granted it’s not perfect, the villains aren’t memorable, they serve their purpose but it’s nothing to rave about. Although it’s better than some MCU villains *cough* Ronan, we’ve gotten over the years. That’s probably the only flaw I can state when it comes to “Wonder Woman.” The other movies are essentially mixed bags. A lot of people either really like “Man of Steel,” or really hate “Man of Steel.” I’m one of the people who likes it, although I do think it has flaws. “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” was disliked by critics and fans alike, although some people think it’s good, and some even go so far to say it’s actually genius because of something involving the name of “Martha.” I agree, it’s actually a cool idea, but the movie itself was at times, boring, lacked a story, and even had a terribly miscast Lex Luthor. Although I will say other positives in movie existed: The score, Wonder Woman, and the climax. So ultimately, “Batman v. Superman,” despite having flaws, to me, became more watchable since it first came out. When it came to “Suicide Squad,” I liked it the first time, but despised it the second time. The movie has plotholes galore, flashbacks galore, and despite the soundtrack having some good tunes such as “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Seven Nation Army,” “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and being able to enjoy all of the tunes at first, something about it feels off now that I think about it. I didn’t care as much the second time around and I kind of hate Harley Quinn a little bit because it was revealed in the DCEU, she killed Robin, so essentially we never got to see him. Oh, and LEGO Batman makes fun of it in his solo film.

“What am I gonna do? Get a bunch a criminals together to fight the criminals? That’s a stupid idea.” –Batman

When it comes to money, all of these films were successful. Each one except “Man of Steel” is now in the top 100 when it comes to worldwide lifetime gross at the box office. Although none of them made it to the gross which the third and fourth installments of “Transformers” achieved. Only one of these movies made it past “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” and that was “Batman v. Superman.” Speaking of “Batman v. Superman,” it did receive a big drop at the box office on its second weekend. This is possibly due to bad reviews, other movies being out, or the fact that everyone wanted to see it on opening weekend even if it meant skipping out on your family’s Easter dinner.

While it is true that the third and fourth installments of “Transformers” made a lot of money, it’s also true, that the fifth one, despite having earned a lot right now, might not make as much as other installments in the series. All the movies now look and sound the same and there’s very little diversity in terms of formula and plot, if there is a plot to begin with. Also, one of the biggest criticisms given by moviegoers to the franchise is that it focuses too much on the human characters. That’s not what they paid to see. It’s quite possible that this upcoming “Bumblebee” movie could be more about Hailee Steinfeld more than anybody else, including Bumblebee himself. Maybe it could work, perhaps if there’s not gonna be many other robots in the movie it could be like “The Iron Giant.”

Some people are also saying that superhero movies are reaching a peak. Based on the popularity and fascination people still have for superheroes, I don’t see anyone usually tired of superheroes. If this idea of superheroes peaking doesn’t grow any bigger, then I can see “Aquaman” getting more money. Speaking of money, I believe “Aquaman” has one ENORMOUS advantage in their favor if being a superhero film wasn’t enough. This may sound like a pun, but trust me, it’s not.

Unlike “Bumblebee,” “Aquaman” is going to be optimized for the IMAX experience. If there’s one gimmick that most moviegoers are willing to pay extra money for, it’s IMAX. I’m DEFINITELY one of those people. Why do I bring this up? Well, let’s dive into it. So far, every installment in the DCEU has been enhanced for IMAX and the same can be said for every installment in the “Transformers” franchise. Both universes in my book, are both excellent for IMAX. In the DCEU, you get a lot of fast paced action as you may see in “Man of Steel” and “Batman v. Superman.” As for “Transformers,” each installment contains loud and epic giant robot fights, that’s IMAX material right there! Part of me feels like as far as the IMAX experience goes, people would pay extra to see superheroes fight on an IMAX screen, although wouldn’t mind settling for another experience. But when it comes to robots fighting, IMAX would immediately come to mind for a lot of people.

Also, remember the December blockbuster topic this is all a focus on and other movies associated with this? Movies like “Avatar,” “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” and “The Hobbit” series were all released in IMAX. The fact that “Aquaman” will be released in IMAX can possibly support my statement that it will end up making more money than “Bumblebee.” Although if you go back to 2014, a month before December, “Big Hero 6” beat “Interstellar” at the box office and yet “Interstellar” was MADE for IMAX, and I mean MADE for it considering how it was partially shot with IMAX film cameras. Once again, I’ll say, it was BEFORE December which both movies came out so that may not be the best point.

One last point I’ll make before this post is over are the directors of the individual films. Both directors have done well received work in the past. In “Bumblebee,” you have Travis Knight (left), an animator known for his work on “Kubo and the Two Strings” and “Coraline.” He hasn’t directed all that much, but he directed “Kubo” and that was one of my favorite movies of 2016, so that gives me some confidence that he’ll put some effort into “Bumblebee,” hopefully more than Michael Bay. As for “Aquaman,” that’s being directed by James Wan (right), who’s well known for his work on horror films including “The Conjuring,” the “Saw” series, and “Insidious.” He’s also the director of “Furious 7,” which I consider to be one of the best installments in the “Fast & Furious” franchise. Both movies have great talent behind the camera, we’ll just have to wait for the final product.

I want to know, what do you think of all of this? Do you think it’s a good idea for these two movies to compete against each other on the same opening day? Why or why not? Also, which one of the movies being focused on here are you personally more excited for? Thanks for reading this post. I might review a movie next week, I might not. I don’t know what I’m doing yet. However if you do want to check out my movies which I have reviewed recently, I shall inform you that for your pleasure, you f*cking sadists, that I went to see, the one, and hopefully the only, “The Emoji Movie.” I enjoyed this movie, possibly in an alternate universe, but in this universe? Hell no! There’s an icon that can take you to this review, I hope you enjoy it, but if you’re a kid or you’re reading this with a kid, enter with caution, because in terms of language, this is probably the most swearing I’ve done in any of my reviews. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy reading that review, and stay tuned for more reviews! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Emoji Movie (2017): A Literal Pile of Sir Patrick Stewart (WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE)


Before we begin this review of the piece of crap they call “The Emoji Movie” I would like to remind everyone that I’m not doing this for clicks, as you can see above, I have proof I saw this. I’m doing this review for a couple of reasons. 1: To give you a movie review. 2: I’ve gotten requests to do this. I would like to say to those people, thanks for the request and I’m happy to deliver on it, but at the same time, f*ck you. But seriously, who doesn’t love hearing a guy complain about a s*itty movie? If you have children, let them read at their own risk, and enjoy my review!


“The Emoji Movie,” AKA an animated s*itshow, is directed by Tony Leondis, who you may know for directing “Igor,” an animation from 2008, and it stars TJ Miller (Silicon Valley, Deadpool), James Corden (The Late Late Show with James Corden, Gavin and Stacey), Anna Faris (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Mom), Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids, Grown Ups), Steven Wright (Mad About You, Son of the Mask), Jennifer Coolidge (Legally Blonde, 2 Broke Girls), and Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: The Next Generation, X-Men). This movie revolves around the Meh Emoji, played by TJ Miller, and if you know the Emojis and are familiar with them, you’d know they represent symbols and they can’t really change, so naturally in this movie about Emojis which actually live inside a person’s phone, each Emoji is only capable of making one expression. However, TJ Miller’s Meh is a bit more expressive, making him unique from other Emojis. However Meh isn’t intending on having that unique quality about him last so he sets out on a quest in order to make him a normal Emoji.

I bet you’re asking, “Jack! What the f*ck are you doing?! This movie has no potential! Why are you seeing this?!” My answer to you is, I don’t know. Going in, I expected this movie to make me want to kill myself. On opening night, “The Emoji Movie” was leaked to have gotten a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Granted the rating has gone up since I found out about that, but it’s worth pointing out. If I weren’t doing this blog, I’d probably ignore this movie, but the thing is, quite a few people have requested that I’d do this. I made a Twitter poll not long ago and when the results came in, it turned out more people wanted me to review “The Emoji Movie” than not review it. So ultimately, I wanted to see how deplorable this movie actually was. And trust me fellas, this movie was crap! This is probably the worst animation I’ve ever seen. This movie copypastes elements from other animations which have been released over the years but has none of the charm, heart, humor, or likability needed to make a good product. This movie makes “Ice Age: Collision Course” look like “How to Train Your Dragon.” This movie makes “Transformers: The Last Knight” look like “Pacific Rim.” This movie makes “Terminator: Salvation” look like “TRON.” This movie makes “Battlefield Earth” look like “Interstellar.” This movie makes “Fant4stic” look like “Spider-Man 2.” “The Emoji Movie” is so bad that it doesn’t come as much of a shock when you think about it, it’s a movie about Emojis! A concept which on paper, sounds dumb as s*it and is also dumb as s*it in reality. When I talked about the first teaser trailer for this atrocity, I knew something bad was going to happen, and damn I turned out to be right!

Let’s talk about TJ Miller’s character of Meh in depth. If you ask me, I like TJ Miller, I enjoy him in “Silicon Valley,” I appreciated his character in “Deadpool,” and I also like his voice. Even if he’s doing crap, he still does a fine job. For example, he was in “Transformers: Age of Extinction,” which in my book is mediocre at best. He played a character named Lucas Flannery and at one point while watching that character, he might as well come off as some sex pervert or something. Granted he’s not on screen as long as other characters, but this is something many people saw in that character. If you watch him in the beginning of the film, you’d probably have a good guess as to what I’m talking about. TJ Miller wasn’t terrible casting-wise for Meh, which utterly surprised me, he also isn’t TERRIBLE as a character, but the thing that this movie was trying to do with a lot of the characters, this one included, was make them funny, although the movie failed to deliever on that. Although I will say, one thing that’s kind of funny about TJ Miller being cast in this movie, is that in “Deadpool,” another movie he’s in, he has to explain to the main character of Wade Wilson, what the poop Emoji is.

WADE WILSON (Ryan Reynolds): (Looking at a text from Ajax) What is that?

WEASEL (TJ Miller): That’s the s*it Emoji. You know the turd with the smiley face and eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long.

Along Meh’s journey over the course of the runtime, we meet a couple supporting characters. Hi-Five (James Corden) and Jailbreak (Anna Faris). This is part of where the elements from other animations come into play. Hi-Five is basically the comic relief of the film, it’s almost like your typical “scene stealer” you’ve seen in movies like “Up” (Dug), “The Secret Life of Pets” (Snowball), or “Frozen” (Olaf). I’m fine with this movie having a character like that, but the big problem I have with the character has to do with the most basic quality a comic relief character needs, which is humor! I don’t recall any funny moments from the character, same for the movie itself. I wanted this character to literally DIE. There was one moment where there was some sort of giggle coming out of my mouth, but I need more than a giggle! In fact there were actually kids in this theater with me, they almost didn’t utter a sound. I actually was in the second upper row in the theater, there was barely anyone in my row, but one row above me, there was a family. I don’t know what their final thoughts are on this movie, but I remember one part of the movie scaring a kid, and I recall that more than making them laugh. By the way, the character who caused the kid to get terrified was Smiler, played by Maya Rudolph, we’ll get to her in a bit, but let’s talk about Jailbreak for now. Jailbreak wasn’t the worst character on screen, although there were some things I didn’t like about her for sure. One thing that was noticeable was how much she was like Wyldstyle (Yes, that’s how her name is spelled) from “The LEGO Movie.” The only difference between her and Wyldstyle is that Jailbreak doesn’t have a boyfriend when we first meet her, and she’s basically displayed as some sort of feminist. I don’t have too big of a problem with that, but still. Not only do we get a rather cliche character, but as she develops during the film, she just becomes more and more cringeworthy! Oh yeah, speaking of cliche characters from animations, TJ Miller’s Meh, who we recently talked about, actually is kind of stock too! In a way, he’s almost like Emmett from “The LEGO Movie” and Ralph from “Wreck-It Ralph!” I imagine some of the people imagined this is part of went on behind the scenes. Some dumbasses watched some animations and said “Oh yeah, that was the s*it!,” and thought “Let’s try to recreate those, but with Emojis!” So they went to Sony Pictures Animation and suggested this s*itshow of an idea to them and Sony Pictures Animation told them, “Welcome aboard! Time to capitalize on the name “Emoji!” Who cares if it’s s*it? We decided that “The Angry Birds Movie” was a good idea so let’s become known as the phone movie gods!” My response to that is, thanks Sony Animation! Thanks for being a bunch of f*cking twerps that don’t understand the concepts of art and storytelling (flips two birds)!

On a different subject, let’s talk about Maya Rudolph’s character of Smiler, she was the film’s main antagonist. I find this character to be one of the most annoying villains I’ve seen in my life. And by annoying, she didn’t exactly annoy any of the movie’s characters, she annoyed me. I HATED her voice. She’s basically what would happen if Joy from “Inside Out” went insane. I despised this character! As a villain, her motivation was clear, but as a character, her personality didn’t make me smile, IT MADE ME RAGE! Speaking of things that made me rage, we get ANOTHER similarity to “The LEGO Movie” when it comes to the villain! She has these minions that are supposed to look menacing, you know how in “The LEGO Movie” they have these characters referred to as Micromanagers? They’re all black and red and they essentially, well, micromanage stuff. Guess what’s in this piece of crap?! MORE BLACK AND RED MINIONS! They look different and they don’t exactly do the same thing the Micromanagers do, but it just comes off as unoriginal especially when you keep a lot of the other elements from this film in mind. What are the names of the minions? I don’t know and I don’t give a f*ck!

One of my absolute biggest disappointments concerning “The Emoji Movie” is Sir Patrick Stewart. Now keep in mind, when say Patrick Stewart is a disappointment, I didn’t hate him in this movie, it’s just that I wanted to see more of him. He plays the Poop Emoji, and I think it’s a superb casting choice, by far the best one in the movie. Who doesn’t want to see a British piece of s*it walking around with a remarkably soothing voice? I will say, regardless of what you think of Patrick Stewart in this film, there’s one interview where Stewart is talking about the movie, it’s on “Conan.” The interview was meant to promote “Logan,” but Patrick Stewart and Conan O’Brien talked about “The Emoji Movie” at one point. I don’t know, I just love it. The video’s down below if you want to watch it.

Although one of the biggest flaws when it comes to this character, is something concerning him and his son, Poop Jr., or PJ. There’s this one scene from the trailer containing a poop joke, you know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen it. Before that even happens, Patrick Stewart comes out of a stall with his son, who is established to be ten years old. I’d be OK with this if the son was like, I don’t know, three and he wasn’t toilet trained, or if he was puking at one point or had diarrhea or something, but the problem here is, he’s toilet trained, shouldn’t he be in his own stall? Does he or his father have some sort of fetish with watching people eliminate waste? OK, no, that’s probably not the case, this is a kids movie, but still. In fact, during the same scene, TJ Miller’s Meh is in the bathroom too, he’s actually in there with his mother and father. One thing I want to know, is this a unisex public restroom? Because if it isn’t, this would be really awkward. Also the record, it’s easy to tell based on the qualities of the characters that none of the Mehs are transgender or anything. Just put the father Meh in the bathroom without the mother and you would avoid me questioning this scene! Speaking of which, let’s talk about Meh’s parents.

The parents of Meh are referred to as Mel Meh (Steven Wright) and Mary Meh (Jennifer Coolidge), and they serve their purpose. They’re there when they need to be, but my biggest problem with them is that maybe they’re in the movie a little too much. OUT OF THE MOTHERF*CKING BLUE, some subplot comes up that has to do with them separating, which basically does nothing for the film as a whole! You may as well consider this the opposite of “Seinfeld” because “Seinfeld” is a show about nothing and yet it turned out to be something, and here, you get something, but it turns out to be nothing! By the way, there’s a f*cking “Casablanca” reference thrown in somewhere into this subplot. THIS MOVIE TRIED TO REFERENCE “CASABLANCA!” A critically acclaimed, black and white film, was referenced, in this movie! I’m a sucker for references, but movies, TV shows, video games, whatever it may be, in my book, have to make sure these references are utilized properly and doesn’t end up feeling forced! I haven’t seen “Casablanca,” but this reminds me of the “Ghostbusters” remake when they try to reference “Scarface!”

Now part of movie takes place in this inside a real world and another part of it is in a virtual world. Does it sound like something that’s been done before? If you said yes, I’m with you because this idea has been done before. Three movies that pop in my mind when it comes to this are “Wreck-it Ralph,” “The LEGO Movie,” and “Inside Out,” all of which I consider to be great. You can also say this was done in 2011’s “The Smurfs,” but you’d be wrong, that has transporting between dimensions, not to mention it’s just hilarious to call “The Smurfs” a MOVIE. Here, the virtual world is inside a cell phone with all of these apps and Emojis and all sorts of other s*it. The real world is basically during present day, and we see a teenage boy who has a crush on a girl. While they did happen to exchange phone numbers, he’s still a little apprehensive towards the status between him and the girl because he’s having trouble deciding what to say to her and what Emoji to send to her. Now one movie reviewer whose content I frequently check out is Jeremy Jahns, he has an “awesometacular” YouTube channel. He mentions in his review that this makes no sense because the boy and the girl already has given out phone numbers to each other so the boy should have no problem contacting this girl. Believe it or not, I don’t use Emojis quite often, but I am in high school, and IF I have a crush on a girl, I might sometimes not know what to say or type, or if I know there’s something I know I want to say or type, I might not know exactly when I want to say or type it. The boy in this movie, the one who owns the phone all of these Emojis are in, wasn’t a horrible character, but watching him at times in this movie was just weird. His role in the movie involves trying to ask out Addie, the girl he has a crush on to what is referred to as the “Fall Dance.” That’s a pretty cliche dance name if you ask me, but that’s not important. He also is trying to take his phone to tech support because it’s starting to go crazy due to all the activity going on in there with the Emojis. He certainly moved the plot along, but when you combine the world of the Emojis with reality, it suddenly becomes cringeworthy. This is especially noticeable during the “Candy Crush” segment of the movie. In fact, let’s compare this to two other animations, “Wreck-It Ralph” and “Inside Out.” This also just goes to show you how much this movie is like those!

When it comes to both of these movies, both of those take place in two different dimensions which can’t be crossed. In Wreck-It Ralph, you have the real world, which is basically inside an arcade, and for the virtual world, it’s inside the games which make up the arcade. In “Inside Out,” the movie took place in the real world, where we see the life of Riley, the film’s main character who moves to San Francisco with her parents, along with the virtual world, which is inside Riley’s head and we get to look at all of the emotions such as Joy, Fear, and Anger. What makes “Wreck-It Ralph” and “Inside Out” great is that they focus a lot on their story and happen to remain smart, which is kind of funny because this movie takes place in a “smartphone.” Also, “Wreck-It Ralph” was a fun ride for kids and adults alike, “Inside Out,” wowed me and almost made me cry at the end. Another similarity is that these three films contain a character going on an adventure away from where they primarily belong, which is fine, I don’t mind that, but the other movies did it better. Also, the inclusion of “Candy Crush” kind of reminded me of “Sugar Rush” from “Wreck-It Ralph.” The way the characters and apps are in “The Emoji Movie” remind me of “Wreck-It Ralph” too because in “Wreck-It Ralph” you’ve got all of these iconic video game characters like Pac-Man, Q*bert, Bowser, Zangief, and Sonic the Hedgehog, who actually was played by the same guy who did the voice for him in “Sonic Free Riders” and “Sonic Generations.” In this movie, it’s kind of hard not to include these characters, after all, this is “The Emoji Movie,” but “Wreck-It Ralph” did a better job at including those characters by not including anything that would be considered forced or cringeworthy. Not to mention, the characters that are all in the Wreck-It Ralph video game are exclusive to this movie, they aren’t based off of any sort of video game, they were made up for the “Wreck-It Ralph” movie. When I first heard about “The Emoji Movie,” I thought this movie wasn’t necessary. I gave kudos to the animators for making it look good, but then again you can look at an animation like “Ice Age: Collision Course” and say it looks good. Also, in “Wreck-It Ralph,” the video game the main character belongs in goes out of order due to “technical difficulties,” and in “The Emoji Movie,” the phone might not have much time left because of its own technical difficulties. And there’s one moment in this movie, specifically towards the end, which reminded me of a flashback that occurred in “Wreck-It Ralph” in Sugar Rush.

One thing I DETESTED in this movie is the obnoxious product placement! This movie has more product placement than a Michael Bay “Transformers” film! You can argue that “The LEGO Movie” was a commercial, but here’s the thing, the story came first. It almost felt like Sony Animation or someone else behind this film thought about contacting a bunch of companies who make apps and say “Hey, you want to be in our s*itf*ck in the ass?” and they somehow put them all in there so they can just make s*itloads of money! “The LEGO Movie” utilized product placement to a certain degree and there’s only one moment in the movie that feels commercial-esque (the moment that talks about a bunch of LEGO sets) but not only does it fly by, it’s kind of makes me laugh. This movie has an entire segment inside “Candy Crush” that moved the plot along, and when it comes to other stuff, it’s almost like this: “You guys know Facebook? Oh look, here’s Facebook!” “You guys know YouTube? Here’s YouTube!” “You guys know Instagram? Oh look, there’s Instagram!” There’s also a segment containing a dance sequence which was PAINFUL to watch. Guess where it takes place? “Just Dance!” There’s even a moment where our heroes have to get to Dropbox! Not only that, but guess how they get there? Twitter! No, they don’t go through the app, instead, the Twitter bird mascot shows up! What the f*ck?!

I want to ask something, were you expecting a good movie out of this? Because I sure wasn’t. This was one of my least anticipated films of the year, and the reason why I saw it is basically people wanted me to go see it. I’m doing this for others, not myself. “The Emoji Movie” is nothing but a rip off of better animations, a s*itty idea which became a s*itty movie, and a poorly written, anger-inducing f*ckpile of a film created by a bunch of c*cksucking jackasses that just want to capitialize on a trend! If this movie makes enough money, there’s a slight chance that some motherf*cker might make a “Fidget Spinner” movie! I have a good idea for one, but we DON’T NEED ONE! If you bring your family to this film, you’d all probably be bored. If you bring your boyfriend or girlfriend to this film, they’ll dump you. If you bring your husband or wife to this film, they’ll divorce you. If you bring your best friend to this film, they’ll call the friendship off. If you bring your boss to this movie, they’ll fire you. If you bring a celebrity or someone like that whom you admire because they like you well enough and want to hang out with you, they’ll need a restraining order in order to protect themselves from you. “The Emoji Movie” is a quality example of a s*itty Hollywood movie that f*cks up people’s minds and makes them all explode. I’m gonna give “The Emoji Movie” a Sir Patrick Stewart/10, which can translate to 💩/🔟 if you speak Emoji, which can also mean s*it/10, although if you’re a kid it would be better for you to say poop/10, which in plain English, comes out to 1/10. There’s no reason for this movie to exist, I’ve only seen a few movies in my life that are worse than this damn pile of holy s*itness. I would probably much rather go back in time and f*ck Adolf Hitler in the ass than watch this movie again. Also for the record, I’m heterosexual so that makes it extra embarrassing. Thanks for reading this rant–err–I mean, review. Please don’t see this movie. You’re better off watching “Dunkirk” with your kids. Sure, it may be a war film with scary events happening, but at least you’ll be watching art. Speaking of which, check out my review for “Dunkirk,” the link is down below, it’s a good read, I highly suggest you check it out. Stay tuned for more reviews! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!