Mission: Impossible II (2000): Impossible To Enjoy

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read through some jackass’s review of “Mission: Impossible II.” Make sure you read through everything if your enjoyment levels are high. If your enjoyment levels are not high, please seek some counseling or other reading material. This is one of five reviews being done in preparation for the same jackass’s review for “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” As always, should you or any of your Force be caught or killed, the Movie Reviewing Moron will disavow any of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

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“Mission: Impossible II” is directed by John Woo (Hard Boiled, The Killer), stars Tom Cruise (Risky Business, Top Gun), Dougray Scott (Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Deep Impact), and Thandie Newton (Gridlock’d, Beloved) in the sequel to the 1996 mega-hit “Mission: Impossible.” The first movie took a popular TV show, brought it to the big screen with Tom Cruise as the star, and a lot of people ate it up. So naturally, a sequel was released four years later, and this time there’s a genetically modified disease that goes by the name of Chimera. The creator of this disease is killed and stolen by IMF agent Sean Ambrose. Now it is up to Ethan Hunt and Nyah Nirdoff-Hall to go undercover and find out whatever they can about the disease. It’s not an easy task, but if the task is completed, the disease can eventually be brought down.

This movie is the sequel to the highly successful “Mission: Impossible” released in 1996. During its theatrical run it made a final box office total of over $457 million worldwide. This final result made it the third highest-grossing film of the year, just below “Twister,” sitting at #2, and “Independence Day,” taking the cake at the #1 spot. “Mission: Impossible” also made more than any motion picture release from Disney that year, which if your film is doing that nowadays, it says something. Four Disney films released that year were in the worldwide box office’s top 10 by the way. The Disney releases included “The Rock,” “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” live-action “101 Dalmatians,” and “Ransom.” Now it’s 2000, and “Mission: Impossible II” is on the horizon. Once it came out, guess what happened? It made more than the original! It made a worldwide total of over $546 million. According to Wikipedia, this film’s reviews were “mixed to positive.” Me personally, I felt like I was getting cavities filled on all my teeth at once, so I really did not enjoy what I saw. I did a couple things related to this review before I saw the movie (mainly some stuff that wouldn’t require me to watch the movie), but once I got down to the nitty-gritty, I kind of forgot what I just witnessed on screen. It’s kinda like a dream, ya know. Unless the dream is truly significant depending on what the dream is, not to mention when, and maybe where it happens, or if you keep track of your dreams in a journal, you won’t remember anything about it. I could just say that this is a fun action movie, and at times it is, but a movie like “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” was a fun action movie. Not to mention, it was also a more memorable and admirable sequel than this. This kind of feels like a fun movie, but also made because the studio likes money.

Tom Cruise is the star of this movie as Ethan Hunt, and yes, he is fun to watch without any doubt whatsoever. But sadly, he might be one of the only good things you remember about this movie. Seeing Cruise in various action sequences is a delight, but when it comes to him as a character, talking to other people, that’s when the movie’s weaknesses start to show.

And I feel like this is why the movie falls flat on its face as an overall product, Cruise steals the show as an action star, and the scenes where action is happening sometimes stand out positively like a t-rex in a museum. But when it comes to any sort of moment that needs to trigger with the audience’s thoughts, emotions, anything like that, the movie just doesn’t know what to do. There’s some great direction, some great cinematography, and if you find out some what happens behind the scenes when it comes to the action sequences, the movie might just get better. If you’re coming into this movie, expecting some great character moments, times where you can root for everybody on screen, scenes where there are stakes, that’s not going to happen, at least that’s not what I felt happened.

One of the worst parts of the movie is the romance between Ethan Hunt and another character who goes by the name of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall. I don’t own this movie on DVD, my only source of watching this movie is a Blu-ray disc which is part of a 4 movie “Mission: Impossible” collection, and on the case I have dedicated to said collection, it doesn’t give a single full description for one of the movies. But according to the DVD, it describes the character of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall as “beautiful.” Sadly, that’s the only thing they got right about her. Other than her beauty, nothing else really stood out about her. I kind of bought her as a spy, but there were times I didn’t care about her, I didn’t buy the romance between her and Ethan. That side of the story improved a bit towards the climax, but during the beginning it sucked. It felt really forced, and it almost reminded me of Anakin and Padme in “Star Wars Episode II.” It’s two people who are working together, and somehow they force themselves into a romance because, well, apparently there’s nothing better that can be put in the script! If you had to one day ask me what Nyah was like, I’d either answer to you, “What are you talking about?”, “Who is this?”, or “A Bond Girl.”

You know how in all the “James Bond” stories they have a girl in there that’s basically exclusive to that story? Well, that’s what Nyah feels like to me. And as I do research on this movie, I feel like I like her less. Because this movie actually made a chase scene which was basically inspired by a race featured in “Goldeneye” between Bond and Xenia Onatopp. I can’t talk too much about it considering how I haven’t watched “Goldeneye,” but on IMDb’s trivia page dedicated to “Mission: Impossible II,” it suggests what I just said. It just feels like the crew behind this movie didn’t have any idea how they can define Nyah through an original thought. They just said, “Hey! A lot of people like James Bond, let’s put some of its s*it into our movie!” I’m not saying that “Mission: Impossible” and “Bond” aren’t similar in ways, but I am saying that if you aren’t careful, you can become a ripoff.

I could talk about the villain. But you know what? He’s forgettable. So let’s move on. Enough said.

As suggested, the action in this film is great at times, but then there are times when it just gets–um–yeah I don’t give a f*ck about my life anymore, this movie is s*it! The action just gets so silly and stupid that it’s hilarious!

There comes a point in the movie, that Ethan Hunt and Sean Ambrose are on motorcycles. You can BARELY tell who is who. I was almost even questioning which person I was looking at during certain moments of the film! It was kind of like “The Girl on the Train!” You ever seen that movie? I know, f*cking bats*it crazy! I can let that complaint slide, because it’s more on the nitpicky side, but I don’t know if I should be complaining more about that, or about what I’m going to explain to y’all. Although I will say, part of me… is doing cartwheels of excitement over this! So there’s a point where both bikers stop, they’re looking at each other on their vehicles, and after preparing their motors, they charge forth! Each operator hopes they can annihilate their opponent, both do a wheelie, when all of sudden, they jump off their bikes, making contact with each other, getting violent as they fall off a cliff, all the while both bikes explode, as both beings land on the sand, and they get back up in little to no time whatsoever!

That scene… may have been worth the watch. It’s one of the STUPIDEST things ever, but at the same time, one of the FUNNIEST things ever. But yeah, I gotta say it, f*ck this movie!

In the end, “Mission: Impossible II” was impossible to like. There were several scenes of boredom that made me avoid enjoying myself. Some of the stuff behind the scenes may improve the movie a little bit, but when it comes to the script, that’s the Achilles Heel. “Mission: Impossible II” honestly just feels like a studio film. Created solely just to make money. Maybe some passion was put into it, but based on what was presented to me, I wasn’t able to see any of that passion. This movie took out elements of what made the prior one enjoyable, such as the layers behind it, the characterization, etc, and just stuck to action. Stupid. I’m gonna give “Mission: Impossible II” a 3/10. I enjoy action movies, and I also enjoy Tom Cruise, but this movie felt like an impossible mission to get through. I have heard though that this movie is rather divisive so I’m curious to know some thoughts from the people who actually enjoyed the movie.

Thanks for reading this review! Since next month is May, that means I’ll have another “Mission: Impossible” review for you all to read, this time I’ll be doing “Mission: Impossible III,” directed by JJ Abrams, who according to one of my best friends, “ruined ‘Star Trek'” and according to another group of people I know, “saved ‘Star Wars’.” So I’m interested to see where Abrams is going with this movie. Speaking of “Mission: Impossible,” if you want to read my review for the first Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” film, the link to that is down at the end of this post.

Also if you are bored and want to read something that I promise you won’t have spoilers that will ruin the entire meaning of your life, check out my review for “Avengers: Infinity War.” Click the red box below if you want to read it. If you’re reading this and this is the last post I made, you’ll only see one red box and that’s the one you should click on. If you’re reading this and this is not the last post I made, click the red box on the bottom left. Stay tuned for more great content, should you choose to accept it! I want to know, did you see “Mission: Impossible II?” What did you think about it? Where do you personally stand on this movie’s divide? Or, do you think I’m too hard on Nyah Nirdoff-Hall? I mean, she is gorgeous and the movie certainly gets that notion right, but I seriously want to know your thoughts! Leave a comment below, and I just hope I enjoy “Mission: Impossible III” more than I enjoyed “Mission: Impossible II.” Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/mission-impossible-1996-this-movie-review-will-self-destruct-in-five-seconds/

Avengers: Infinity War (2018): 2018’s Movie Event of the Year

Before we dive into what some may call my most important movie review of the year, I’m gonna go ahead and ask you something. How terrifying is Thanos? The answer, objectively, he’s a monster that might eat other villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for breakfast. One thing that’s probably just as terrifying, is responsibility, and a new responsibility will be handed over to a couple by the name of Genevieve and Paul. The two are trying their hardest to have a child, therefore increasing the absolutely scary idea of responsibility, but before they totally get scared, they get… failure. Specifically, the failure of making a child, which is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a series on YouTube about a couple who are trying to have a baby but based on experience, trying is not enough effort to grant the couple’s wish. Genevieve and Paul go through an extended journey where trying is redefined. Throughout, they face victories and failures, and go through hell as they encounter unfortunate events when it comes to sex, tests, procedures, and EVERY. F*CKING. NEEDLE.

You know, kind of like this, but a little different. New episodes are uploaded to the channel every Monday and pretty much each one has their own little dramatic story for the couple to tell. The most recent episode however, strays away from the dramatic tone. In this latest installment titled “The Waiting Game,” the name pretty much says it all. When the couple is waiting for results on a test, they try to distract themselves and make themselves feel normal. Watch the episode, or if you want a more dramatic episode, watch a few of the earlier ones. If you like what you see, hit the subscribe button on their YouTube channel, like their videos, hit the notification bell, and if you want more of “What the IVF?” outside of the YouTube universe, be sure to check out their other social media profiles and their website! Also, be sure to to tell them I sent you over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Avengers: Infinity War” is directed by Anthony and Joe Russo (Community, Arrested Development) and stars Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man, The Judge), Chris Evans (Captain America: The First Avenger, Gifted) Mark Ruffalo (Foxcatcher, Spotlight), Chris Hemsworth (Thor, Rush), Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther, 42), Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Homecoming, The Lost City of Z), Benedict Cumberbatch (Doctor Strange, Star Trek: Into Darkness), Scarlett Johanson (Iron Man 2, Lucy), Don Cheadle (Iron Man 2, Crash), Paul Bettany (Iron Man, A Knight’s Tale), Elizabeth Olsen (Avengers: Age of Ultron, Godzilla), Anthony Mackie (Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Hurt Locker), Sebastian Stan (Captain America: The First Avenger, The Covenant), Danai Gurira (Black Panther, The Visitor), Letitia Wright (Black Panther, The Commuter), Dave Bautista (Guardians of the Galaxy, Blade Runner 2049), Zoe Saldana (Guardians of the Galaxy, Avatar), Josh Brolin (The Goonies, No Country For Old Men), and Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World). Just… HOLY CRAP. This is just scratching the surface on this movie’s overwhelming number of characters!

With the infinite (pun sort of intended) number of cast members/characters this movie is trying to fit in, they all are featured in this two and a half hour extravaganza where we reach one of the biggest points in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, and that’s when Thanos makes an attempt to unleash havoc and chaos upon the universe by destroying half of it.

Let me just get something out of the way, this review is being called “2018’s Movie Event of the Year,” and reasonably so. Because for one thing, it is the culmination that is ten years in the making (or six depending on who you ask). We are finally at the point that we get to see Thanos in action. Not to mention, this movie is RIDDLED TO THE BRIM with surprises! I can’t believe we’ve made it as far as we did, seriously! The birth of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, starting with the 2008 movie “Iron Man” is about to make its ten year mark on May 2nd! Unbelievable! Anyway, that movie and a bunch of others have all lead to this, and since I mentioned there are many surprises in this movie, I should have you all know that this review is going to be spoiler-free. A lot of people and I mean A LOT OF PEOPLE are going to see this movie after I get this review up, and this is pretty much a “Star Wars” situation. If I reveal one thing about this movie that is in spoiler territory, somebody in the comment section is going send me a death threat. So if I sound vague compared to some of my other reviews, you know why.

Now let’s get through some characters, but before we get to that, I could literally make a joke at this point saying that this movie featured every soul in existence. And I’ve heard some comments about this movie at times. I’ve heard comments saying that it feels cluttered, and that it has too many characters. I one-hundred percent disagree. And that’s because when it comes to utilizing these characters, I feel like just about each and every single one that has some sort of importance to the plot happened to have their moment. There are segments of this movie that stand out and those segments happen to be exclusive to certain characters. I don’t want to get into them however, because if I do, it will just mean I drop one character’s name, and now I allow each and every one of you to have a ruined surprise, which as mentioned, this movie has a lot of. If I were to go into them, I wouldn’t get all that specific, I’d just say a character’s name and kind of move on, but for the sake of humanity, sanity, and a decreased chance of getting killed by someone who may hunt me down after getting this review posted, I won’t do that. Another thing I will say, I will not be talking about all of the characters in this movie that has a bit of the importance to the plot. That will take forever and a half, and there’s not really as much to say about certain characters compared to others. So I’m sorry, there’s no explanation for characters like Iron Man, Captain America, and Doctor Strange. There are more that are unlisted, but these are just examples. I feel I should say less about them for the sake of a more quality review. You’re welcome, by the way.

I don’t have any order I want to go in when it comes to these characters, so let’s just talk about Spider-Man, because there is something that stands out about him that I need to bring up. As you may know, Spider-Man recently had his own movie and in that picture, he had some technology added to his suit. But this time around, if you watch the movie, you’ll notice that he has a new suit. And while I was not a fan of Peter Parker’s suit in “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” I thought this new suit, which is making the character of Spider-Man ultimately marketed to the public as Iron Spider, was a sack of crap. Sure, it looks kinda cool, but the idea of Spider-Man combining with Iron Man makes me think some people thought the idea of Spider-Man, and by that I mean SPIDER-MAN, was not cool enough. I would have said all of this before going to see the movie. As of right now, I change my mind. The Iron Spider outfit was properly utilized, had a purpose in the movie, mainly when it was first put on, but even so, and best of all, it didn’t have a stupid artificial intelligence that was literally holding Peter’s hand and telling him to kiss his crush. Thank gosh!

Another standout character in this movie is Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. Now her character as you know and would expect, is badass. But there is one thing that I consider what may be a flaw with this character, and it’s a nitpick, but it’s there. It makes me ask, why is she blonde? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some douchebag who demands other people to have a certain hairstyle. Although not only does it feel weird, but given the fact that something like this is a change of pace after seeing many movies with Black Widow such as “Iron Man 2,” “The Avengers,” and “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” which has the character having different, but in ways, alike hairstyles, you’d probably expect some explanation as to why Black Widow’s hair is blonde. Did she want to have more fun? Did she suddenly become a Marilyn Monroe fanatic? Did she get tired of people asking her if she was, I dunno, “REDy?” I’m not really taking many points off for this, but it kind of feels somewhat weird because this, again, feels like a change of pace. I don’t even remember there being a joke, even though there were a good number concerning other subjects, regarding Black Widow’s hair.

When it comes to who has the biggest presence in the entire movie in terms of the heroes, I gotta say that the Guardians of the Galaxy probably qualify as the number one spot. Their overall story has a tremendous effect on where everything goes in regards to a number of heroes and Thanos. As far as the Guardians go, I think their storyline is a contender to be the best storyline in the movie. It was somewhat dark and depressing while still allowing them to be the same hilarious crew we all grew to know.

And that does lead me into this movie’s overall tone. “Avengers: Infinity War” is marketed as this beyond dark, ambitious, important, bitchslap to the face f*ckstravaganza, and with bits of humor here and there. One worry I had that didn’t exactly stand out because I had faith in this being worked out well, was a clash in tones. I was somewhat worried that there would be too much humor in serious situations, but not only was the comedy incredibly hilarious, but it seemed to be utilized at the right times. I saw this movie with about 500 people, and based on their laughs, they seem to agree with me.

Now let’s move onto what is quite literally the biggest part of the entire movie, Thanos, which if you’re unfamiliar with Marvel…

Think of Terence Fletcher from “Whiplash” combined with Darth Vader from “Star Wars,” add in a hint of Count von Count from “Sesame Street,” you get this PURPLE GUY who CHUCKLES over the fact that he destroyed a NUMBER of planets, who is a FATHER per se of multiple heroic characters, and has a SHAVED head that will make you look at him as the INTIMIDATING, Jupiter-sized dickbag of Doucheville, otherwise known as Thanos. The character of Thanos is the probably the movie’s best character, and also the one that gets the majority of screentime. Also, if you have been following the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the villains have usually been disposable bad guys that are just there for the heroes to defeat. Recently however, I will say that every villain featured in a Marvel film since “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” has been incredible. The streak of awesomeness continues here in “Avengers: Infinity War.” And to be completely honest, Thanos is quite possibly the best villain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and definitely in the discussion of being the best comic book movie villain of all time. I don’t know if I’d say he’s as perfect as The Joker from “The Dark Knight,” but Thanos is up there. As mentioned, Thanos gets a majority of the movie’s screentime. And this is part of why his character is so great. Given his high amount of screentime, you get to know Thanos very much, and the film is more about him as opposed to anyone else. The film’s main point of focus is the journey to find the stones. The Avengers are the just the defenders (pun sort of intended). You view Thanos from the beginning as the very definition of evil, and he just f*cks s*it up no matter where he goes. If there’s one character that you should look forward to when seeing this movie, it’s Thanos.

Speaking of journeys, certain journeys have certain endings, and this journey has an ending to remember. Out of every ending I’ve seen in the MCU, this is BY FAR my favorite of them all. Like, holy f*ck! I saw this movie with three other people, a couple of the people next to me were just speechless, and so was I! I’m not even gonna say the ending! I don’t want to be a dick! That’s Moby’s job!

I APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE NAMED MOBY, WHICH LUCKILY, DUE TO RESEARCH THERE AREN’T MANY PEOPLE NAMED MOBY THAT STAND OUT SO I WONDER IF APOLOGIZING IS EVEN NECESSARY.

Overall, the ending for this movie, is not only brilliantly written, beautifully directed, but also has some of my favorite editing in the MCU. Again, something I won’t go into for the sake of not getting anyone mad, but it’s freaking sick!

Also as mentioned, this movie is directed by the Russo Brothers, who directed the previous two “Captain America” films. When it comes to the cinematography, I was noticing lots of shaky cam, which is not new for a film directed by this duo. If you watch “Captain America: Civil War,” that film has tons of shaky cam, and I thought the action in that film actually happened to be some of the best in the MCU. It was fast paced, exciting, and as I watched the film, fun. When it comes to the action sequences in this film, you can say I had fun watching them, but this is one of those times, where I literally felt there were high stakes involved in this universe. As mentioned, Thanos has an intimidating and demanding presence, you’ve also got a bunch of Thanos’s minions, including those of the Black Order, and while some other Marvel movies seem to have some predictable action sequences and all that, you never really know exactly how every action scene here will conclude. You constantly root for the heroes, who are going up against the f*ck-up of purple people, and Thanos’ determination makes the rooting exist. I mean… For a guy who happened to be rather speechless once leaving the theater for this movie, it’s almost like a true feat for the amount of words shoved onto this review! What a revelation!

In the end, “Avengers: Infinity War” is EASILY one of the best movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe! I LOVED just about every single second of this movie! It’s my favorite “Avengers” movie! The way they handled all of the characters in this movie was amazing! I mean, seriously! For a movie like this that has more characters than perhaps the number of lights people leave on for new visitors at a Motel 6 in a day, I can’t imagine many other directors taking on this project and doing a better job of balancing everything as masterfully as the Russos did. I said it before, just about every character had their personal moment to shine, and fans will be going crazy over at least one them. Maybe not as crazy as the crowd I had since I went on opening night in a crowded IMAX, but fans will go wild. Speaking of which, I do recommend you go see this in the IMAX format, because this is the first movie shot entirely on IMAX cameras. Not the ones I really like talking about, but this is kind of a big deal and the IMAX experience does add a bit to the movie in terms of immersion! With all of this being said, this movie is the Marvel Cinematic Universe edition of “The Empire Strikes Back,” and it is a f*cking ride from start to finish! I’m gonna give “Avengers: Infinity War” a 10/10! Once again, I’m trying to be as vague as possible in this review for a reason, and I’ll just remind you, when it comes to spoiling this movie, I don’t recommend it. If you spoil this movie, there’s a good chance you’re only just gonna make someone’s life only worse. You know, unless being spoiled is your thing then you’re OK there.

#ThanosDemandsYourSilence

But seriously though, this movie’s the s*it!

Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon, as promised, I’ll have my review for “Mission: Impossible II.” I’m probably going to watch the movie tomorrow, and I’ll start the review soon after, and publish it some time following that. Stay tuned for that review, and also stay tuned for other reviews! I want to know, did you see “Avengers: Infinity War?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite “Avengers” movie? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

A Quiet Place (2018): No Words… Should Be Spoken… Except For Ones of Praise

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“A Quiet Place” is directed by and stars John Krasinski (The Office, Something Borrowed) and also stars Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow, The Girl on the Train), Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe (Wonder, Suburbicon), and Cade Woodward as members of the Abbott family. This family lives in a setting where it is rather depressing compared to our own here in 2018. When it comes to the phrase “peace and quiet,” that has now turned into “Don’t make a f*cking sound!” Because if anyone makes a sound, monsters start searching and trying to kill you.

This film at a point happened to be up there with films like “Ready Player One,” “Avengers: Infinity War,” “Deadpool 2,” “Incredibles 2,” and “First Man” as one of my most anticipated movies of 2018. So naturally you can tell I had pretty high expectations. Those expectations I gotta say, were met! Is “A Quiet Place” the best film of the year? Not really. But nevertheless, I really enjoyed the film! “A Quiet Place” excels in a number of areas: Scares, heart, and the realization of a vision.

Some of the shots in this movie are truly crisp, smooth, and overall just well laid out. John Krasinski is in this movie as the star and he’s also behind the camera as the director. A number of you may know Krasinski as Jim from “The Office,” a show that I’d probably laugh at if I watch it more, but it’s also a show that makes me groan because of the less than still camerawork. This is also why I tend to usually avoid shows like “Parks and Recreation” and “Modern Family.” I’m not entirely against shaky cam, but there are just scenarios to me when it just looks choppy and lackluster compared to still shots. Luckily, this movie has a ton of still shots, and just about every frame is set to impress.

This movie’s director of photography by the way goes by the name of Charlotte Bruus Christensen, who shot films such as “Fences” and “Molly’s Game.” Another thing I really admire about this movie that I’m glad to see is still going is that it was shot on film. With the rise of digital, which in my book is inferior to film in ways, it almost seems like film is dead, but that’s not the case here.

Emily Blunt co-stars in this movie as Lee’s wife, Evelyn. Throughout this movie, her character just goes to show that you don’t need to tell us everything about them to care. Blunt’s character, much like anyone else in this movie, has barely any spoken lines whatsoever, and when they’re spoken, they’re silent as hell! One big reason why I cared about her is that she was pregnant. So while I did happen to want this family to survive, I was also rooting for her because she was carrying a soul that might not even make it to the part of life where they actually… live!

When it comes to the kids in this movie, I happened to root for them as well. When it comes to “A Quiet Place,” there are two main kids you’ll witness on screen. One of them is Regan (Millicent Simmonds) and the other is Marcus (Noah Jupe). As far as these actors go, I’d say both have very bright futures ahead of them and these roles of theirs along with both actors’ individual performances support that statement wholeheartedly. I’ve actually already seen Jupe in “Wonder” and he was pretty great there, but in this movie, it’s a different kind of great that is delivered. Simmonds however has only been in one project prior to this one, coincidentally, “Wonderstruck.” I have not seen her in that, but having seen her here, I hope more movies and TV shows will cast her in the near future. And if they don’t, maybe I’ll give her a job, we’ll find out.

Speaking of one of the kids, specifically Regan, I really thought what the movie did with her character was really smart. This movie is about a family making an attempt to literally live life in silence. For Regan, that is not an option because she’s deaf. Not only in terms of editing was this plot point handled with such elegance, but in terms of the overall screenplay, it was marvelously written and executed.

When it comes to this movie’s scares, the title pretty much suggests what’s to come in a way. The area is supposed to be quiet, otherwise you’re in deep s*it. So if you wanted to talk about Fight Club, unfortunately, not only will you break the first rule of Fight Club, there will be monsters who may hear you and maybe they’ll understand you talking about Fight Club, I don’t know how deep this movie’s lore goes. But nevertheless, if you are in this movie, you live in 2020, and talk about Fight Club, the monsters will bring the fight to you. In fact, it’s not just people talking, it literally be any noise whatsoever that attracts these monsters. Maybe except rivers and waterfalls so essentially you can say if a creature, mainly a human, makes a noise that comes as a result of themselves, doom shall soon arrive. Say you know nothing about this world, but you spend much time being quiet, then you put on the TV, and “Fight Club” is on AMC. Monsters will be aware and hunt you down!

S*it! I talked about Fight Club! I hope my acquaintances at Fight Club don’t find out!

One thing I often talk about on here is how much I encourage people to go see a movie in theater as opposed to waiting for On Demand, Netflix, Amazon, Blu-ray, DVD, or any other way you’re capable of watching the movie at home. As I watched this movie with barely any dialogue, I probably had one of the spookiest movie experiences in recent memory. When I got to the theater, I ordered myself a large popcorn and a large soda. And when it comes to my grub, most noticeably the popcorn, I was chowing down on it during the trailers. There were about six trailers before the movie started, a few things to promote the owners of the cinema I was going to, and one GENIUS heads up to those attending this showing. Its main message was, “If you don’t shut up during the movie, you’ll fly out of your chair and die!” This advertisement was specifically made for “A Quiet Place” and it set the perfect mood for what was to come. I was expecting to do this as the movie was playing, but as I went through several moments of the film, I was slowing down tremendously on my food and beverage, and when I spent many instances having my popcorn, I would take a piece of it, put it in my mouth, and instead of chewing it, I’d leave it on my tongue and let it dissolve like a Claritin Disintigrating Tablet. When it comes to drinking my soda, I would slowly pick it up out of the cupholder, take steady sips, try to be as silent as possible, and when I’ve had enough, I’d put it back where I found it. Regardless of my thoughts on the movie itself, the overall atmosphere of “A Quiet Place” was eerie and hypnotizing.

Another positive that comes out of this movie is the score. The use of various instruments in this film truly stand out and make numerous scenes and shots better than they already were. So far, I gotta say this is a contender the best original film score of the year. Although I’ll say I gotta rewatch “Annihilation” again because that’s another top spot of mine when it comes to this category. This film’s score is done by Marco Beltrami, who also did the score for films including “Logan,” “Gods of Egypt,” “World War Z,” and “Live Free or Die Hard.”

The thing that honestly truly detracts the film is the ending. Now it’s almost like the film got to its climactic point, and while it seems to have all of its buildup ready, the payoff was something that couldn’t be realized from one of the three screenwriters behind this film. Most of the ending is actually pretty freaking cool, but at the VERY VERY END, you see something and you think to yourself, “What the– OK…?” I didn’t feel offended by it, but I either felt disappointment, confusion, or shock that I truly didn’t want. Maybe a combination of any of those things. I don’t want to get into it because I want to avoid spoiling the movie for you in case you haven’t seen it, and you should see it, I highly recommend it.

In the end, I really had a great time watching “A Quiet Place.” Not only was the movie from a technical perspective, super duper, but the atmosphere I was given throughout my experience was something I rarely feel when I go to a movie theater and watch something on the big screen. John Krasinski certainly knocked it out of the park in terms of his direction, and I certainly want to see more work with him in the director’s chair. Also, when award season comes around and if the Best Cinematography award needs suggestions, may I consider Charlotte Bruus Christensen. This cinematographer’s shots had wonderful symmetry, neat locations to accompany the shots, and this will probably get all you progressives orgasming, this is a woman I’m talking about. If you ask me as a voter of some organization, the gender doesn’t matter, talent comes first, and I see talent from Christensen. We’ll have to see how the rest of the year pans out, and if this movie is remembered by all of the people who are surrounded by “gifted” films coming out from September to December. I’m going to give “A Quiet Place” an 8/10.

Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’ll have my review up for “Mission: Impossible II.” I’m probably gonna end up watching it sometime this weekend, and as far as when my review will be up, I can’t exactly set a date for that. The latest will probably be the 30th of April, because that’s the end of the month, and I’m trying to get this review up by the end of the month.

Speaking of things happening around the end of the month, “Avengers: Infinity War” is coming out! I have opening night tickets for this Thursday at 7PM at my local IMAX theater! That review will probably be up either Friday, the 27th, the day the movie is released everywhere, or Saturday, the 28th. And don’t worry, Thanos made it clear that he demands my silence, so the review will be spoiler-free! I can’t wait to see the movie, I’m going with a few other people who are probably just as excited, so stay tuned for the review! I want to know, did you see “A Quiet Place?” What did you think about it? Or, did you talk about “Fight Club” recently? If so, and this is optional, I’d like to hear some specifications about your “Fight Club” story. Let me know about that down below, and while Thanos may demand everyone’s silence on various points of “Avengers: Infinity War,” just remember that he does not demand your silence on Fight Club. Tyler Durden does. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Deadpool 2 (2018): The Final Trailer: GO PETER!

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! The new trailer for “Deadpool 2” is out, and it is being referred to as “The Final Trailer.” Honestly, when it comes to the marketing for “Deadpool 2,” I think it’s probably some of the best marketing I’ve seen for a movie in my entire life. A lot of people have given praise recently towards “Avengers: Infinity War” for providing such an epic and perhaps dark vibe in its trailers. To me, after this recent trailer for “Deadpool 2,” it’s almost hard to tell if this movie was marketed better than “Infinity War.” For those of you who don’t know my thoughts on the first “Deadpool” film, I really enjoyed it, I actually saw it twice in IMAX laser, it was definitely the funniest technical comedy of 2016. And since we’re getting this sequel pretty soon, I’m actually super excited. After multiple watches, the Bob Ross trailer totally grew on me, a couple more trailers came out that I really enjoyed. In fact, the trailer titled “Meet Cable,” is the trailer I liked the least out of all of them, but even upon my first reaction, I was dying laughing. I don’t know if this recent trailer is the king of em’ all, but it’s certainly a contender. So let’s dive into it!

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The trailer starts off and we see a compilation of shots. You have your establishing shots (such as the one above), your action shots, and your dialogue shots. It seems that Deadpool is with a crew and they might be going to Cable’s location, perhaps a hideout or somewhere he happens to be terrorizing. One shot not included above is the first shot of the trailer where you see a few vehicles making their way through a bridge. A vehicle or two looks plot-related, and I want to point out that shot because if you go back to 2016, when this film was first being made, the then director of the film, Tim Miller, left the project due to creative differences. Around the time he left, Ryan Reynolds went on Twitter and made a poll asking where the climactic sequence for “Deadpool 2” should be. Both of the choices by the way were “A bridge.” So I’m not making any bets here, but that shot is probably one of the first shots of the climax. Deadpool is going over the plan to everyone, and the final shot before the logo, is my favorite of the opening shots.

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WADE: “Hit it!”

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Deadpool continues his jibber-jabber by talking about a kid who happens to be in trouble. That kid by the way goes by the name of Russell and he’s played by Julian Dennison who you may know as Ricky from Taika Waititi’s “Hunt for the Wilderpeople.” Cable, played by Josh Brolin, soon says “Move or die.” The next thing we hear, which is apparently in a completely different scene, is Deadpool uttering “Pump the hate brakes, Thanos.” And then that’s followed by…

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THIS. F*CKING THIS. I DIG IT! Not as funny as the last trailer’s “FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT YOU “27 DRESSES” AND “THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA,” but that is awesome!

Then we get a conversation between Wade Wilson and his friend, Weasel, and Wade says he needs backup, so he and Weasel are gonna form a “super-duper f*cking group.”

So now Deadpool and Weasel are meeting with applicants to join the future team. The people we see include Bedlam, played by former “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” host and current “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” regular, Terry Crews. We also have Shatterstar, played by “Into the Badlands’s” own Lewis Tan. And finally, Domino, who refers to herself as lucky. Then the rest of their interaction plays out this way:

WADE: Luck isn’t a superpower. And certainly not very cinematic.

DOMINO: Yes, it is.

WADE: Let’s meet in the middle and say “No, it isn’t.”

Domino is being played by Zazie Beatz, who you may know as Van from the FX TV show “Atlanta.”

This team by the way, if you don’t already know, is going to be the X-Force, as revealed in the trailer before this one.

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Next things next, we have the X-Force skydiving, right after Deadpool says “F*ck it, it’s showtime.”

Also, “Deadpool” marketing always has a way with words. This is just another example of that.

After a series of partially awesome and partially hilarious shots of characters in action, we get, depending on how this actually plays out, what could potentially become one of my all time favorite exchanges in a superhero movie…

CABLE: “You’re no f*cking hero. You’re just a clown dressed up as a sex toy.”

WADE: “So dark. You sure you’re not from the DC Universe?”

F*CK YEAH! After this we get more action shots, which continue to be accompanied by LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out,” which also played in the last trailer for this movie. In some of these shots you see characters like Dopinder, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Colossus, and this shot down below which is hysterical here, but I imagine as it plays out on the big screen in front of everyone (as long as you as a parent don’t bring your young children), will be the very thing that kills you.

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This shot… is money. By the way, if you’re a parent, and you’re reading this, or if you’re anyone for that matter, but a parent especially, I dare you to put this as your desktop photo on your computer or as your home photo on your phone. I double dog dare you to do as I say!

Also, fans of “The Goonies,” rejoice!

WADE: “Bring it on one-eyed Willie.”

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Then we see Cable shooting at Deadpool like a champ, to which Deadpool’s katanas shout, “Not today, douchebag!” This goes on for a few seconds, and part of me imagines these few seconds do not even justify the amount of time this will go on for during the movie. Then we see Deadpool is clearly tired of all the deflecting, and he’s out of breath.

Afterwards we get a logo that says “DP2,” which after I say it a number of times, is not only fun, but also sounds like a terrific beat to a piece of music.

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Now I introduced f*cking gifted and superpowered potential badasses such as Bedlam, Shatterstar, and Domino. With that being said, let’s move on to the real badass, Peter! I like to call this guy, “Deadpool 2’s” Winston Zeddemore from “Ghostbusters.” Because why does he join? He has no powers, he just saw the ad. And according to Wade, that’s enough to get him in. Then we get perhaps the funniest and best shot of the entire trailer.

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Peter is skydiving!

Enough f*cking said!

After this, we get some very important news, tickets are on sale! I actually have not gotten them, I don’t know when I will, but I’m pretty sure I’m bound to get them soon. I don’t know if I’ll go opening night. I already am seeing “Avengers: Infinity War” opening night, and when it comes to “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” that’s another movie whose opening night tickets I’m trying to get my paws on. This movie comes out at a time not far in between those two, and actually one week before “Solo,” so I’m wondering if I should risk getting opening night tickets, because I don’t know if some of the people who I’d likely go with would end up getting opening night fatigue.

I love this trailer, I think it is one of the best recent trailers I’ve seen. The action looks very kick-ass, the effects look amazing, and most of all, the movie might be this year’s greatest comedy. This movie continues to show that meta humor rocks! If the first “Deadpool,” “The LEGO Batman Movie,” “Seinfeld,” “Family Guy,” and “The Simpsons” haven’t supported that statement already, I don’t know what will!

Oh, and don’t forget, f*cking Peter!

What about f*cking Peter?! Everything about f*cking Peter! That’s what! I seriously want some more promotion with this character, I want the merchandisers to shove this character into every store as an action figure! I want Funko to make him a Pop figure! Also make exclusives for him at GameStop! FYE! Walmart! Hot Topic! Target! Walgreen’s! 7-Eleven! San Diego Comic-Con! New York Comic Con! Emerald City Comic Con! Rhode Island Comic Con! Toys R Us even though they’re going out of business! Blockbuster if they come back as a toy shop! RadioShack if they make a comeback and rename themselves as ToyShack and develop a bigger market for remote control cars! Maybe somewhere in Kim Kardashian’s ass! I want Peter to go far and wide as Peter’s eyes can see! F*ck Peter Parker! F*ck Peter Quill! F*ck Peter Pan! F*ck Peter Griffin! F*ck Peter Rabbit! F*ck Peter Venkman! F*ck Peter Brady! F*ck Peter Gibbons! F*ck Peter Pettigrew! F*ck Peter Piper! F*ck em’ all! Because there’s only one fictional character named Peter that matters at this point, and that is Peter! Just… Peter. Not Peter Boyle! Not Peter Dinklage! Not Peter Cushing! Not Peter Capaldi! None of those REAL Peters! Just Peter! You know what? I want to see Peter in action! Taking down characters with powers, even though he has no powers, and if he dies in this movie, it better be the most emotional thing I’ve ever seen! Dedicate a funeral to him at the end of the movie! Because at the end of the day, the only character that matters, is Peter! If you do that, this will be the next “Citizen Kane!” This movie will be a masterpiece, and we’ll all demand a follow-up that might be just as good, maybe slightly worse or better, which will then conclude the “Deadpool” trilogy to be remembered for generations.

HAIL, PETER!

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Also, I hear that “Deadpool 2” is still in post-production. And one character who happens to be in the movie is Weasel played by TJ Miller. It’s now less than a month until the movie releases, so I don’t know how much time the crew has, but there’s one thing I think they should do. I love TJ Miller, I think he’s a great actor, but here’s the thing. He’s been in the news lately and if you’ve been hearing about it, it has not been for good reasons. And if you remember one of the movies from the previous Oscar season, “All the Money In the World,” that was a movie that was going to star Kevin Spacey. But once the news came out that Kevin Spacey was a sex pervert, some hope seemed lost. The movie had about a couple of months until it was released. Trailers were already shown with Kevin Spacey’s character. But the crew decided to do something. They’d recast his character last minute and reshoot. So they get Christopher Plummer (A Beautiful Mind, Beginners) to replace him, so when the movie comes out, audiences will notice Plummer playing Spacey’s character. What they should do for “Deadpool 2” is find a way to incorporate Christopher Plummer into the movie as TJ Miller’s character, so we can 1, start a trend where Christopher Plummer is a replacement cast member of a character originally to be played by a sex pervert, in this case Miller had allegations, not confirmations, but still, you can also consider his recent fake bomb threat. Also consider 2, it’ll make the movie even funnier than it already was! Maybe for a scene or two, try CGIing Christopher Plummer’s body and/or face onto TJ Miller’s character, reshoot some scenes with Plummer if possible, or if that doesn’t work out or is too taxing, get Plummer to come in, record a couple lines that TJ Miller says, and put that into the final product. I also imagine that there are some lines that people can’t wait to hear TJ Miller say, but I imagine they’ll get a hard laugh out of themselves from realizing they’ve listened to Miller the whole time and then suddenly, one line is from the voice of Christopher Plummer! Trust me, it’s genius! Even if the audience doesn’t know who Christopher Plummer is, they’ll probably just find it funny because it’s some elderly man in a near-middle-aged guy’s body!

Thanks for reading this trailer review! Honestly, and I’m not even joking, this is probably some of the most fun I’ve had writing for this blog. If I can’t have fun writing about Christopher Plummer replacing people who behaved beyond improperly at some point in their lives, I can’t have fun doing anything. I’m also excited to see what David Leitch can do with this film given how he directed “Atomic Blonde,” one of my favorite movies from last year, and he co-directed “John Wick,” another great film! So you can tell by that Leitch can definitely make a kick-ass action movie. Next week I’ll have a couple of new reviews up, one of them I planned for a long time, and another one is a bit more on the unexpected side. Starting with the unexpected, I’m going to be seeing “A Quiet Place” tomorrow. I’ve been dying to check this out, my sister has a friend whose mother invited me to come along with them to see this thing so I can’t wait to finally gaze my eyes upon what might be one of the most unique movie experiences of the year. Also stay tuned for my review for a movie that most people who even watch movies nowadays are gonna try to review, “Avengers: Infinity War,” because you need another critic to review this movie right when it comes out. Stay tuned for those reviews, and speaking of reviews, check out my review for a movie which just like “Deadpool,” is sexual, and that is “Blockers.” Click the link down below to read it, I think you’ll enjoy it, and if you don’t, that’s fine, I’m just glad you’re here now! I want to know, did you watch the final trailer for “Deadpool 2?” What did you think about it? Also, do you think the crew behind “Deadpool 2” should do that Christopher Plummer thing I’ve mentioned? Let me know down below and if you have admittedly faked a bomb threat or been accused of being a sex pervert, please change your username to Christopher Plummer so I know who you are. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

“BLOCKERS” REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/04/13/blockers-2018-when-parents-dont-want-their-kids-gettin-cocky/

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018): This Year’s Independence Day: Resurgence?

*SPONSORSHIP ALERT* (although nobody’s payin’ me)

Before we dive into my review for “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” let me just take a moment to ask you, how ya doin’? How’s life? What’s going on? If it were around this time frame in 2016 and you asked what a couple named Genevieve and Paul what’s going on, one of them might respond saying, “A ton of s*it.” That’s because at the time, they were trying wicked hard to make a kid, but the overall task of doing so was an absolute nightmare. All of this is truthfully documented in their new web series, “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is about Genevieve and Paul’s journey to having a baby, where they discover that having a child is not all fun and games, it’s work! Not because of the child, but because they can’t make the child! Watch the couple as their life gets serious and begins to change dramatically as they face several challenges! Sex becomes less than sexy! Math apparently is now useful in real life! Trips to visit doctors are now more nerve-racking than ever! And needles are nothing but ungrateful sons of bitches! Then again, when were they not? Those pinches are killers! You can watch all of the content posted on the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel simply by going through the links down below and clicking on the one to the YouTube page. And speaking of YouTube videos, “WTIVF?” has an episode posted earlier this week! I won’t go into too much detail, but Genevieve refers to it as her favorite episode so far and as the video that highlights the moment that probably most dramatically changed her life. Be sure to watch the video listed above if interested, subscribe to the YouTube channel, hit the notification bell, that way you can get the latest “WTIVF” content before your friends who aren’t subscribed, who in which case, may become your enemies because they aren’t subscribed. Also, check out their website, and their other online pages such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all down below! Also, be sure to tell them that Jack Drees sent ya!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Pacific Rim: Uprising” is directed by Steven S. DeKnight and stars John Boyega (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Detroit), Scott Eastwood (The Longest Ride, Suicide Squad), and Cailee Spaeny. This is the sequel to 2013’s “Pacific Rim,” directed by Guillermo del Toro, and if you are keeping up with the Academy Awards, this guy recently won Best Director for “The Shape of Water,” a movie which also won Best Picture. When it comes to “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” it revolves around John Boyega’s character of Jake Pentecost, the son of Stacker Pentecost, played in the first movie by Idris Elba. His character teams up with another character from the first movie, Mako Mori, played in the first movie by Rinko Kikuchi, and leads a team of new Jaegar pilots against a new Kaiju threat.

As far as the first “Pacific Rim” is concerned, I’ll say I personally enjoyed it. I saw it in IMAX when it came out, I had a good time, I got to see some kick-ass robot/monster fights up on the big screen, it was pure popcorn fun. I got connected to the human characters a little bit, the music was not half-bad, and Idris Elba gave a speech to remember.

“Today. Today… At the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Today there is not a man or woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and bring the fight to them! Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse!” –Stacker Pentecost

I’ve only seen the movie twice, with last time being a month ago, but no matter when I watch it, I can imagine myself getting goosebumps just listening to that. The first “Pacific Rim” is definitely not a masterpiece, but certainly a good time. This movie, is the complete opposite. Not the opposite of definitely not a masterpiece, but the opposite of a good time.

Speaking of movies that aren’t masterpieces but also good times, remember “Independence Day?” That’s a fun movie. Remember the sequel? Yes? Unfortunately, I do too, I had to review that crap for y’all. I’m gonna go as far to say that “Pacific Rim: Uprising” is this year’s “Independence Day: Resurgence.” It’s an attempt to kickstart a new franchise and rely more on spectacle than proper storytelling. Ask me, do you remember many likable, intriguing moments from “Independence Day: Resurgence?” I don’t. And you know what? I’m gonna say that personally I found this movie to be worse than “Independence Day: Resurgence.” Heck, I watched the first movie literally the day before I went to see the second one in theaters. Someone I had a connection with wanted to see the then new “Independence Day” movie, and I was unfamiliar with the first one, so I watched it on HBO for free, but it was something that I just had on in the background. I actually had attention directed towards “Pacific Rim” and personal enjoyment from gazing at the pixels on the screen. “Pacific Rim: Uprising” currently has a 6/10 on IMDb, and it is receiving more positive ratings than negative ratings, so it clearly has people who like it. And I will say, I imagined in my head that there are certain types of people who will watch this movie and have a good time. Let’s go through the list.

GROUP 1:
Fans of the first “Pacific Rim” who don’t care what others have to say and are just happy this movie exists.

GROUP 2:
Fans of the first “Pacific Rim” who clearly know the lore or are interested to see what other lore can be developed.

GROUP 3:
Kids who like giant robots, monsters, fighting, or any combination of those things. Yes, anyone can fit in here, but I’m mainly imagining kids.

GROUP 4:
People who just want to see John Boyega in something new for whatever reason.

GROUP 5:
Judging by what I just said, I guess the select few people who happened to enjoy “Independence Day: Resurgence.”

GROUP 6:
Me on Opposite Day.

GROUP 7:
Michael Bay. Just… Michael Bay.

I mean, seriously, how does this not feel like “Independence Day: Resurgence” all over again?! This movie’s a sequel to a film with a character who some might say gave a terrific speech. A black character who is not present in this movie has a kid who plays a big part instead of them. Both sequels take place in a future far from its predecessor. Oh yeah? And did I mention that both movies suck? That’s another thing too, it’s kind of important!

I don’t care about any of the movie’s characters, but since it is now a cliche for me to talk about at least one character in detail with a big fat image listed above, I guess it’s time for me to inject myself with the poison in front of my ugly face. Let’s talk about John Boyega’s character of Jake Pentecost. Gah! Why do I have to do this?! I don’t even monetize this site! It’s not even worth it! Alright, just for the sake of having a good review, let’s tackle this bitch. Pentecost is a fine character, and by fine I mean, you don’t want to kill him by the end of the movie. But probably the main reason you’ll end up liking him or caring about him is that he’s John Boyega. If you have been a fan of the new “Star Wars” movies, you might end up rooting for this character because you know he’s Finn. By the time you walk out of the theater, you’ll probably end up forgetting this character and go back to your life where you buy tickets for, hopefully, better movies.

Moving onto the main girl in this movie, Amara Namani, played by Cailee Spaeny, I was watching the movie and I thought to myself that she reminded me of the young girl in “Logan.” I can’t say too much about that though. Because to be honest I haven’t seen “Logan.” My comparison would be invalid given how I’ve only watched the film’s promotional material. But from the way she looks, and seemingly, acts in the movie, I was given that thought at one point.

Let’s talk about Charlie Day in this film.

More like… Charlie Good Day Sir!

Like, NO! JUST NO! NO!

WHAT! THE! HECK! DID THEY DO WITH HIM?!

For those of you who haven’t watched the first movie, Charlie Day was a character in it, and he went by the name of Newton Geiszler. He was a wacky scientist who studied the Kaiju during the whole war. Take Emmett Brown from “Back to the Future,” put him in a blender with JJ Abrams, maybe a pinch of the Cowardly Lion from “The Wizard of Oz,” and add in the voice of like, I dunno, let’s just say Michael Scott from “The Office,” and you get Newton Geiszler. I won’t talk too much about him in this movie, because I want to stay out of spoiler territory, but there was a point where the character of Amara was getting on my nerves a little, then all of a sudden something happened with Newton, and then my brain tried to find all the ways it could electrocute itself. Its reaction might as well have been this GIF featuring a clip from “Family Guy.”

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Another gripe I’ve got with this film is that it’s just boring as f*ck! I mentioned how this movie relies more on spectacle than proper storytelling, the story itself bored me, and so did the character interactions. I’ll be honest, I’m a defender of the first Michael Bay “Transformers” film, and I didn’t mind the human characters. While in that movie, you came to see giant robots fighting and may have been disappointed due to forced human character storylines, a movie such as the one I saw, had us wanting to see giant robots and monsters fight, but also made me as an audience member suffer through unlikable humans communicating with each other. In fact, one thing that I’ll point out about the first “Pacific Rim” is that while the movie isn’t exactly reliant on you giving a crap about the characters, I still cared about them and possibly rooted for them. Here, I wasn’t doing that. If somebody received any sort of pain, I wouldn’t have cared. This movie felt too extended and dull, and it ended up being an hour and fifty-one minutes. There are so many movies that are longer than this pile of garbage that are better and more worth your time! Let’s give a list!

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • Citizen Kane
  • Jurassic Park
  • Every Lord of the Rings movie (including Hobbit installments)
  • Star Wars
  • Braveheart
  • La La Land
  • Interstellar
  • Titanic
  • V For Vendetta
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Matrix
  • Lincoln
  • The Fifth Element
  • The Big Sick
  • Kingsman: The Secret Service
  • Ray
  • Once Upon a Time in the West
  • Metropolis
  • 12 Years a Slave
  • Inception
  • The Martian

And you know what? I don’t know how long this statement will hold up in my book, but at this point, I might say this is worse than all of the Michael Bay “Transformers” films.

This movie isn’t all negatives, in fact, one positive I can actually give the movie, is some of the cinematography from Dan Mindel, cinematographer of such films including “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” the 2009 “Star Trek” reboot, and “John Carter.” Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the best I’ve ever seen, but it almost comes off as one of the only things that can make this look like a film that is trying. But unfortunately, that’s sometimes ruined by occasional choppy editing! How wonderful! I didn’t come to the movie to admire the cinematography and editing, but it doesn’t mean both of those things can be bad!

In the end, when I’m talking about a big blockbuster that is SUPPOSED to entertain you and have you enjoy yourself while munching on popcorn for a couple of hours, and the only positives that come to mind include some of the shots and maybe tads of humor, that’s an epic fail! I really wanted to like the first movie. When the first trailer came out, it sold me. It prepared me for what was to come. I was somewhat pumped. The future bits of marketing were not as great, but I thought maybe the movie could be a chunk of fun. I think I’d honestly have more fun flying Spirit Airlines than I would watching this movie. At least Spirit Airlines, as much as they suck, and trust me, THEY SUCK, can take you to places you want to go. If I wanted to see all sorts of pretty lights and maybe watch some drunkards duke it out, Spirit could take me to Las Vegas. If I wanted to go see one of my best friends in person or make fun of the way people in Texas talk up close, Spirit could take me to Houston. If I bought tickets to go to a convention that might as well be an excuse to pay lots of money to stand in line after line after line, Spirit could take me to San Diego. “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” also took me to a place, and that place, is hell. I’m gonna give “Pacific Rim: Uprising” a 2/10. I admire John Boyega, and continue to hope some brightness shines throughout his career, but to say that he may have just been shown in a movie that is possibly worse than “The Circle,” is just unfathomable.

Thanks for reading this review! Next week I’m going to have my review for “Avengers: Infinity War,” because I already have tickets to see the movie opening night, and probably right after I get done watching that, the first thing I’ll do is get right in front of my computer, type like a maniac until perhaps three o’clock in the morning, and post my review for y’all to read! By the way, I’ll warn you in advance in case you read that review, I’ll do my best to make the review spoiler-free, for the sake of not feeding the trolls who throw spoilers around the Internet, and to avoid ruining the experience of going to see “Infinity War” for those who aren’t seeing it as early as I am. Not to mention, according Anthony and Joe Russo, the two directors of “Avengers: Infinity War,” Thanos demands my silence, so I might as well respect Thanos’ wishes.

#ThanosDemandsYourSilence

Also, stay tuned because pretty soon, I’ll have my review up for “Mission: Impossible II.” This review will be up by the month’s conclusion, and it will be the second entry in my “Mission: Impossible” review series leading up to “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” So look out for that! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Pacific Rim: Uprising?” What did you think about it? Which “Pacific Rim” movie was better? The first one or the second one? And since it’s relevant, did you see “Independence Day: Resurgence?” Leave all your thoughts down below, and PLEASE remember, if you are making an early review of “Avengers: Infinity War,” #THANOSDEMANDSYOURSILENCE. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Blockers (2018): When Parents Don’t Want Their Kids Gettin’ Cocky

Alright fellow moron followers, it’s that time! We’re gonna talk about sex! And to do that, we’re not just gonna go over my thoughts for the movie “Blockers,” we’re gonna be doing a usual promo. Sex may be fun, hot, and climactic. You know, unless you’re Genevieve and Paul. If you’re Genevieve and Paul, sex is not all fun and games! It’s work! Hard work! No! They’re not f*cking porn stars! They’re in a YouTube series where they’re trying to conceive! Watch them… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is an all new series on YouTube that goes over one couple’s long journey to conception. Watch Genevieve and Paul as they deal with various struggles and small victories! As time passes, they realize, them becoming parents will only become a reality if they push themselves to the limit instead of just having sex and having a natural procreation method. Not to mention, getting injected with tons of needles. You can find the latest videos from Genevieve and Paul on the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel. Also be sure to hit the notification bell and subscribe for all new content! Their latest entry to the series involves a fertility appointment, and things just don’t go according to plan. If YouTube doesn’t satisfy you, check out all the other “WTIVF?” social media profiles and the series’s own website. All links are down below, tell em Jack Drees sent ya, and now let’s continue getting sexy!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Blockers,” or C*ckblockers, as the promotional material implies, is directed by Kay Cannon and stars John Cena (Trainwreck, The Wall), Leslie Mann (Knocked Up, This Is 40), and Ike Barinholtz (Suicide Squad, Neighbors) as three parents who get together who try to stop their daughters from losing their virginities on prom night. Basically if you watch the movie, take the concept for “American Pie,” add in some elements of modern-day s*it in there, change the gender of the teens in a pact to get laid, and make the parents bigger parts of the story, and you get “Blockers.”

This movie is the directorial debut of Kay Cannon, who is mainly known as a writer and producer when it comes to her work in Hollywood. Cannon has written all three “Pitch Perfect” films, and produced the two sequels. I only saw the first one, I thought it was one of the worst comedies I’ve ever seen, even though a number of people seem to like it, but it certainly kept me from seeing the next two movies. Cannon also wrote several episodes of “New Girl,” which honestly, I need to still watch! They have reruns now, so I have a good opportunity on my hands. As I went into “Blockers,” I didn’t expect much, and my low expectations had partially to do with Kay Cannon, who I imagine, is a rather nice woman, but as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t like her s*itty movie from about six years ago. But hey, if were sitting in a chair in a coffee shop, having a coffee with her, I wouldn’t feel like I was tied to that chair. How someone is as a writer and someone is as a person are two completely different ideas! And luckily, in terms of how this movie was not only from the perspective of director Kay Cannon, but also the perspective of writers Brian and Jim Kehoe, it was so much better than it deserved to be! Seriously, from some of the advertising, I was somewhat convinced that this movie would be mediocre at best, but I walked out thinking to myself that I watched a movie where “American Pie” and “Revenge of the Nerds” had a lovechild! Is this movie a masterpiece? Heck no! But not only did I have a fun time, part of me feels that this movie goes over some very important themes. But before we get into why I’m craving this movie like ice cream, let’s dive into negatives.

First off, this movie has a ton of points where I nitpicked the hell out of it. I won’t go into extreme detail because it seems rather spoilery, but he biggest standout to me is when Ike Barinholtz’s character said he’s never watched anyone have sex before. My first thought after hearing that line was, “You’re a grown man who has impregnated someone, and raised a kid.” There’s not one point in your life where you rented something from the adult video store? I don’t know, That’s how he comes off to me. The more I thought about it, maybe he was just referring to in-person sex, but it doesn’t change how that original thought popped into my mind. Another thing I sort of didn’t like, is one joke that kind of makes fun of “Fast & Furious” and Vin Diesel. While it was somewhat executed well, audiences have seen a joke similar joke to that almost three years ago now in “Vacation.” Granted, that movie from what I heard was trash, but having promotional material, I imagine some people might watch this movie, witness this joke play out, and view it as perhaps less funny than if it was had “Vacation” never happened. I remember witnessing other various nitpicks, but I’ll be real with you, I can’t exactly recall them off the top of my head. It just goes to show how many positives there are in this movie compared to negatives.

Let’s talk about the three parents in this movie. You have the recently mentioned Ike Barinholtz who plays Hunter, whose daughter goes by the name of Sam, played by Gideon Adlon (The Real O’Neals, Z Nation). Hunter used to be married, but after reveals of him cheating on his wife, divorce happened. Barinholtz did a great job playing a very hyperactive, overenthusiastic, and somewhat aware dad. And by somewhat aware, I mean in terms of how teens communicate. This is something that the movie dives deep into. When the other two parents were trying to decipher whatever it was the teens were trying to say based on what was being typed out and shown on an accidentally left open laptop, Hunter was basically helping the two parents out with knowledge. To add some hilarity to the mix, Hunter treated the text reading like a puzzle, and some lines given in context to that were nothing short of lovable. I was totally able to buy him as a single parent and his connection with his daughter, especially towards the end of the film, was believable and charming.

Speaking of divorced parents, you’ve also got Leslie Mann’s character of Lisa. She is portrayed as this somewhat kick-ass, caring, and memory-sharing mother. She gave birth to a daughter named Julie played by Kathryn Newton (Paranormal Activity, Lady Bird), and their chemistry was totally believable. Mann’s character definitely delivers a fine performance of a parent who is somewhat concerned about the future of her child, and when it comes to overall concern, Lisa shines more than any other character.

Now we have an interesting character, and when I say that, I mean in terms of who plays him, not so much of how he’s laid out in terms of overall characterization. We’re about to talk about a little someone in this movie.

AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!

How is John Cena in this movie? I’ll be completely honest with you, I don’t know. I couldn’t see him. He wasn’t anywhere in sight.

OK, I saw him.

John Cena plays the character of Mitchell, and he’s basically this overprotective father. His daughter goes by the name of Kayla, who in the movie is played by Geraldine Viswanathan. Out of each chemistry between each main parent to their daughter, this one was believable as well, but if I had to choose the one that is the least believable, I’d pick this one for now. Here’s why. I’ve done some research regarding this movie. John Cena is white, and he was born in West Newbury, Massachusetts. You’ve got Mitchell’s wife, Marcie, played by Sarayu Blue. She was born in Madison, Wisconsin, and she kind of looks like her family has an Indian origin. As for their daughter, the girl who plays her is from Australia. She might look like a mixed race child, but something feels off. Again, I’ll mention, most of my problems in this movie are nitpicks. John Cena though gives a great interpretation of a father and in some ways, reminds me of my own father a little bit.

Moving away from mature people, let’s move onto the movie’s three main teenagers. As you can see in the image above, they’re standing along with three guys, all of which you can probably guess are their prom dates. The three girls, Kayla, Julie, and Sam, have great chemistry and I buy them as best friends and dates to their boys. I’ll also have you keep in mind that part of that great chemistry may have resulted from the very thing that happened at the beginning of the movie. The film starts off with a montage in 2005, when the girls meet in kindergarten, otherwise known one of those times when you realize your life is about to go through a downward spiral of crap. The montage itself was sweet, effective, and illustrates the point that these girls are best friends maybe without having to make you question it. Their setup to actually plan on simultaneously declare their quest for virginity loss, might be a tad bit rushed, but you could also make the argument that they’re teenagers and teenagers often rush into things and I can totally get that. Maybe, and I’m not being sexist here, I would have believed this if the girls were actually boys. Because in real life, people usually think of boys talking more about sex and losing their virginity than girls do. In fact, this movie an interesting topic that I often think about in relation to that, which we’ll get to in a bit. But in all seriousness, girls, after seeing this movie, I want to know, would you say that from experience or personal thought that girls talk about sex and stuff like that as much as guys? Maybe in a positive light? I seriously want to know because this movie is honestly just making me think and I kind of want some experience or two cents from someone who would apply in the realm I’m referring to.

By the way, the girls’ dates were all pretty cool to watch here, but my favorite teenage boy in the movie has to be Kayla’s date, Connor. He’s played by Miles Robbins (The X-Files, Mozart in the Jungle) who not only does a great job with the character, but I also have to give kudos to the writers. The movie sets up Connor as someone who Kayla likes, but not as someone Kayla’s father likes. Granted, in some ways, it almost makes her father look like a dick, but it didn’t really take too much away from the movie. Listen to me, imagine if I were taking some girl to prom, I pop into her house, and the girl’s father looks at me and I have the hairstyle Connor has, there’s gonna be some s*it going down soon. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m not Kayla’s father.

Now let’s dive into this movie a little bit deeper and talk about how it tackles some issues regarding teens, parents, those kinds of people. You have many movies out there that might as well be quests to losing one’s virginity. Movies like “Porky’s,” “American Pie,” and f*ck, I’ll say it, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” Out of these movies, I’ve only seen “Porky’s” and “American Pie.” From what I’ve seen, I wouldn’t say they’re terrific. “Porky’s” almost seems like a good background movie in some cases, and “American Pie” was enjoyable, but I didn’t really connect to any specific character. Maybe it takes a couple watches, but I will admit, I didn’t enjoy that movie as much as I thought I would. Also, when it comes to these “virginity loss quest” movies, they’re usually from a male perspective. I will bring up that “Blockers” has all male writers, but the director for this movie was a female. To me, this brought an interesting balance in terms of what both genders thought of teenagers and sex.

When it comes to the parents, they’re obviously worried. John Cena comes off as very overprotective, not just because her daughter’s virginity is going to be taken, but perhaps even because it’s going to be taken by a guy whose hair probably doesn’t even belong in this world. Hey! I never said that! I’m not John Cena! Connor seems like a nice guy who knows that he wants his first time to be special, but hey, parents will be parents.

Leslie Mann is going through a bunch of worries when it comes to her daughter. She’s going to college soon and the mother is concerned of losing the kid she raised forever and ever. She wants her daughter to go to a local college and stay near her mother, but this girl wants to go to UCLA, and that’s just an upset to her. Oh yeah, and her daughter’s on a virginity loss quest, don’t forget about that! By the way, her daughter is technically the one to jumpstart this whole quest!

Ike Barinholtz, as mentioned, doesn’t even live with his daughter. Like Leslie Mann’s character, he’s divorced, but he lives alone without a child. And when it comes to his daughter, not only is he concerned about her being in this sex pact. He’s worried about her sexuality. Sam, the daughter of Ike Barinholtz, is gay. She’s going out with a boy. We actually see her worried about this and have a desire towards a certain girl later, but Ike’s character doesn’t have that knowledge.

This movie as a whole dives really deep into a ton of the main characters and unleashes little figments of their personality. It’s a sex comedy that doesn’t feel like a comedy where sex is bound to happen and it’s really all you think about. It’s almost more like “Revenge of the Nerds” in some ways because that’s a sex comedy, but it also dives deep into the characters and their own little individualistic traits to get you to care about them. There’s not many people who feel like they are just written on a page or cookie-cutter. This feels like a vision. Sure, it has that typical studio comedy feel, and it is complete with tons of Apple product placement, but the characters in this movie all have a chance to shine.

I will also admit, I was watching this film alongside my mother, and I was wondering how awkward it would be for the two of us. For one thing, I was not expecting much out of this movie, but also another thing is that I’m eighteen years old. I gotta say this movie came out at what might be a proper time for me. Relying on numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age for one to lose their virginity according to them is 17.1 (both males and females). Sex is something my mother and I don’t talk about, and why would we talk about it? What… benefit… is there to life… of having a sex-related conversation between a parent and a child? It’s gonna do nothing except make one of us want to exit the room! My mother actually reads this blog, and I’m trying to get inside her mind. What if there’s one day she finds out about me having sex? Sure, maybe when I’m an adult maybe that’s natural. OK, well, I’m technically an adult at this point, but certain members of society would probably still refer to me as a child or teenager. I’m willing to bet a number of adults know that teens, especially ones in my gender, think about sex all the time, but they always see us doing it as dangerous or horrifying. As a teen, I get why, but I feel like that no matter what gender the characters are, whether it’s the kids I’m talking about or the parents, this movie does a fantastic job of not only highlighting the thoughts of the young and the old when it comes to teen sex, but it also seems to add a nice touch by not choosing a side in this debate and calling one right or wrong. This feels like a film, not propaganda. I don’t know if it will open much discussion between kids/teens and parents about sexual activity, but maybe it will develop some along those lines with maybe close friends.

In the end, I honestly couldn’t have gotten more of a surprise from “Blockers” than I already have. “Blockers” feels like one of those movies that we as a society didn’t really deserve, but someone was nice enough to let us have it. I’d love to thank Kay Cannon for directing the hell out of this, and I’m sorry that I called your other movie a piece of crap. I’m gonna give “Blockers” a 7/10. Thanks for reading this review! Next week I have a week off from school, giving me more opportunities to go to the theater and see something. Maybe I’ll go see “Rampage,” “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” “A Quiet Place,” “Isle of Dogs,” we’ll have to find out! Also, be sure to stay tuned for my review for “Mission: Impossible II” which will be up by the end of the month! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, what did you think of “Blockers” if you saw it? Or, what is your favorite sex comedy? Me personally, I gotta go with “Risky Business.” It feels natural, the characters are great, and the music is awesome! Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Ready Player One (2018): Pop Culture’s Ultimate Birthchild

*SPONSORSHIP ALERT* (although nobody’s payin’ me)

Before we dive into my review for one of my most anticipated movies of 2018, let me just have you know that this review is being called “Pop Culture’s Ultimate Birthchild.” If you watch “Ready Player One” and/or read the book, you’d know precisely what I’m talking about. And speaking of birthchildren, there’s one couple out there in California who are currently expecting a birthchild. The couple contains souls by the names of Genevieve and Paul, and they are going to giving birth to a child sometime in the future. You can find out the true story of this babymaking journey in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” documents the seemingly endless but also effort-filled journey of having a child. What’s so hard about it? Watching over them? Finding a babysitter? Trying to get them to fall asleep? No, you fools! The hard part is making them! Watch as Genevieve and Paul do something that will change humanity. By, you know, trying to increase its overall population by 1. But the process of doing that isn’t easy! The couple suffer through troublesome situations in regards to sex, math, testing, costs, and because they TOTALLY asked for them, infinite needles! If you want to watch the fifth episode to this series, it’s listed up above. This time, Genevieve and Paul’s marriage might be going down the toilet! Not to mention, nothing seems all that pleasant at this point. Watch the episode, comment, subscribe, hit the notification bell, share with your friends, enemies, frenemies, whoever they may be. Also check out the “WTIVF” website, and their other forms of presence on social media, all of which is listed down below! Oh yeah, and tell them Jack Drees sent ya! I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Ready Player One” is directed by Steven Spielberg (Jurassic Park, Lincoln) and stars Tye Sheridan (X-Men Apocalypse, Mud), Olivia Cooke (Ouija, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl), Ben Mendelsohn (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, The Dark Knight Rises) and is based on the pop culture extravaganza of a book written by Ernest Cline, who by the way, is one of the film’s screenwriters alongside Zak Penn (The Avengers, The Incredible Hulk).

Much like the book, this movie centers around the character of Wade Owen Watts, a teenage boy who is currently living in the 2040s. Oh yeah, and just like every other movie that takes place in the future that seems to have something depressing, Earth is dying, who’d a thunk it? Nowadays he basically spends his time on the virtual reality headset universe known as the OASIS (Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation), where you can literally live your reality meeting other avatars who go by nicknames. For example, Wade’s avatar name in the game is known as Parzival. Another example would be for a different character in the movie, Samantha, which is the name she goes by in real life, but in the OASIS, she’s known as Art3mis. There’s not just that, you can do just about anything you can think of! You want to drive a DeLorean? You’ve got yourself a DeLorean! You want an Iron Giant to hang out with? Of course you do, and you’ve got one! You want to ride the bike from “Akira?” Bingo! This is basically a future, where there’s nowhere left to go. And I’ve seen a lot of media will give this dystopian landscape where everything looks all depressing, but one thing I’ve never noticed is a hint of pop culture in there. And I feel this movie, the more I think about it, is kind of relevant. Not just for the environmental message that you’d find in films like “Wall-E” or “Interstellar,” but the fact that maybe we’re running out of ideas in terms of what could be the next big franchise or the next big movie or the next big TV show. The movie doesn’t really dive into that, but this is an unoriginal movie which centers around unoriginality and it’s all the better for it!

This was one of my most anticipated movies of the year. Most of the promotional material had me nerdgasming! The visuals looked astounding! The music, like, oh my gosh! The teaser trailer for “Ready Player One” which was revealed at San Diego Comic-Con, went on to become one of my favorite trailers of 2017, and the movie had a couple more trailers that went on to become instant favorites of mine for this current year. I went to see the movie in 70mm film! A lot of people see “Avengers: Infinity War” as their most anticipated movie of the year, and I totally get why, but when it comes to both movies, I can’t help but hype both up like the Soup Nazi when his place was in business on “Seinfeld.” I even did something that I never do before going to see a movie. I actually read the book. Let me just pull up a quote that I left in my review for “The Firm.”

“…movies are more fun! Sorry, books!”

Part of my reading of the book has to do with a challenge I gave to some friends, but still.

After reading the book and seeing the promotional material of the movie, I felt like this was a fictionalized “King of the Nerds.” If you have seen “King of the Nerds,” you’d probably know it as a part competition and part nerd culture extravaganza. This show is actually quite possibly my favorite of all time, making me even gladder to have read the book to capture the feeling of the show inside me once more after it was canceled by TBS in 2015. And speaking of “King of the Nerds,” “Revenge of the Nerds,” the movie which the show is sort of based on, is referenced in the book. In fact, there’s one part where the main character of Wade Watts goes searching for something important to the plot, and he tries going into a recreation of the house that the nerds rent and fix in the movie! If you know me in real life, if something receives a comparison to “King of the Nerds,” you know that I am jumping up and down.

Unfortunately, there’s no “Revenge of the Nerds” references in the movie. However, when you take the rest of the movie for what it is, you might as well refer to it by one word: Amazing. Am I fanboying? Sort of. I’m only fanboying because this film met, and in ways, exceeded my expectations. I am not one of those people who says this:

“This is a great book! Terrific! Unbelievable! If you change an ounce of this book, I will find you studio freaks at your filthy houses and slaughter every last one of you!”

Yes, there are changes from the book, and personally, I can understand the changes, and based on what we’ve gotten out of this movie, I don’t care! This movie itself, was probably one of the most thrilling experiences I’ve had in a theater. If the 70mm show wasn’t enough to please, some of the scenes which have now become new personal faves of mine certainly were!

Steven Spielberg directed this film, and when I first heard about him taking on this project, I was like, “cool.” As I read the book though, I thought to myself, there is NO OTHER MAN ON THIS EARTH that should direct this movie! Well, it was mainly because Spielberg was referenced in the book and it was done in a form of appreciation. Now that I’ve seen the film from start to finish, I can’t say anything else except, THERE’S STILL NO F*CKING WAY ANOTHER PERSON COULD HAVE DIRECTED THIS FILM! Steven Spielberg’s hayday was blockbusters galore, not to mention he’s a master of putting you into the action. Just watch “Saving Private Ryan” or “Jurassic Park!” The film’s opening contains this big and important race, and I guarantee you that at some point, you’ll feel like you’re in it.

Speaking of action, “Ready Player One” also contains one of the best mega-battles I’ve seen in a movie, and one of the best chases I’ve seen in a movie. There’s this big climactic battle that decides the future of both sides, and as I watched, I felt like I was back the early 2000s, going to the theater, and watching “Lord of the Rings.” I ate it up and I wanted more! Now I know that I talked about the race during the film’s starting point, and it’s sort of chase-like, but we cut to the real chase towards the end of the film. Literally. This final chase, may be one of the very best I’ve ever seen in a movie. The climactic chase of the movie almost feels like a mix of “Inception” and “The Lego Movie.” In other words, it was a mix of a heartfelt moment and the dropping of my jaw. I don’t even want to go into it, because I want you as a viewer to be surprised.

Now I mention that this movie, like the book, is really freaking good! But if there’s one thing that the book does better, it’s character development. I’m not saying that the characters in this movie sucked, in fact I really liked all of them. But in comparison to the book, the book did it better.

Let’s talk about the main character of Wade Watts, otherwise known as Parzival. In some ways, much like the book, I resemble this character. We both want to do something that will prevent our governments from harming us personally, we’re both uber nerds, and we both know a lot about a variety of popular culture. Although then again, that’s what pretty much a majority of the movie’s characters know about. In the book, Watts was actually fat in real life. I can kind of understand why they would cast a guy like Tye Sheridan for the role of Watts even though he’s not fat, but they could have paid homage to the book and done that. If they did cast someone fat, it would have increased the chance of seeing a key character moment from the book. I’m not saying I’m unsatisfied with what we got, but still, the book did it better.

Although one thing that may rival the book entirely in my opinion was the depiction of Samantha, or Art3mis. When I read the book, I always thought of the interactions in the OASIS between Parzival and Art3mis as cutesy, and as something that just developed over time. The movie feels faster, and it almost makes Samantha’s avatar look like someone a boy would usually be attracted to. Well, to me anyway, looks are subjective. Sure, in the book I can kind of buy Parzival’s infatuation towards Art3mis, but it didn’t have a raw feeling, like this movie did, and I personally thought it worked. Cooke as an actress pretty much nailed what this character needed, and I admired her performance.

Now let’s get into one of my favorite parts of the movie, and that is the character of Nolan Sorrento played by Ben Mendelsohn. Having seen him play Krennic in “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” it should be proof at this point that Mendelsohn can play one awesome villain! Here, he does that too! He’s basically this corporate baddie that oversees all the operations of IOI (Innovative Online Industries) and he wants to change the OASIS to make it more like what can be translated as something like Net Neutrality or EA shoving micro-transactions down your throat. As if his representation of evil was good enough, his character has one of the major highlights of the movie for me. There’s a point where he’s talking with Wade and he’s trying to act consumer-friendly, attractive, and telling Wade what he would probably want to hear, and someone is on the other end, speaking into his ear without Wade’s knowledge. Trust me, it’s kind of funny.

Now let’s state another highlight performance of the movie, and that is the character of James Halliday, played by Mark Rylance. This is Rylance’s third performance with Steven Speilberg, and he was cast perfectly in regards to this character. Halliday was charming, somewhat funny, and a mix between Willy Wonka and Steve Jobs. You’ve got the one side that seems to scream charisma and wonder and you have another that represents brains and sometimes over-stressed. I will say though, I was doing research on this movie, and while I think Rylance’s performance is terrific, there is someone I would have loved to see bring their skills to the table.

Rylance’s character is once again, comparable to Willy Wonka, and thus it kind of makes sense where Steven Spielberg’s mind would be going at one point. One idea he had for the character of Halliday before Rylance ultimately took over is to get Gene Wilder back on screen. According to the movie’s trivia page on IMDb, “Wilder respectfully declined.” Mark Rylance was cast in 2016 some time before Gene Wilder’s death. But what if Wilder were in the movie? I imagine the movie would make a hell lot more money than it already did, it would have a stronger opening weekend, and based on recent events, it might actually bring something emotional to the movie. Although then again, I wonder if they still would have been filming the scenes for Halliday at the time of Wilder’s death, so it probably wouldn’t have even mattered. Nevertheless, Wilder as Halliday would have been PERFECT, A+, 10/10 casting. However, Rylance, based on his portrayal, is just as solid.

Moving onto one thing that I heard a number of people complain about, let’s talk about references. People were nervous about this movie because they figured the only thing that it stands for is to make references down your throat. Personally, I did not have that complaint going in. I thought the movie was gonna have a fine number of references that didn’t feel bloated. Besides, references are awesome! As far as this movie goes none of the references forced (for what I remember), they were charming, and they were even sometimes hysterical! One of the biggest standouts is a moment where the main characters are going into the world of a classic movie. No, seriously, they go in, and several events from that movie play out in this one! I didn’t have too too many people in my theater, so I can’t say much noise was made, but I heard there were some presentations that people attended where audience members collectively gasped. The most references come in during the commencement of the movie and the climax, and while the middle definitely has some, it seems to come off as more story-oriented. And that’s not to say that the beginning and end aren’t story oriented. I’d say the references used at the start and finish were properly utilized while still maintaining an interesting story, thus making the movie better. You know, unlike “The Emoji Movie,” which story-wise and reference wise, is nothing but trash buried beneath the ground after being lit on fire. That movie was nothing but a complete waste of the talent from minds like Patrick Stewart, Anna Faris, and TJ Miller.

Fortunately, TJ Miller’s talent is not wasted here! If you don’t already know, TJ Miller plays the character of I-R0k, and let’s just get serious for a moment. TJ Miller’s voice, IS ASTOUNDING. If Morgan Freeman is the king of narrating serious pieces of work, then TJ Miller is the king of narrating anything that sounds hilarious. Just watch “Silicon Valley,” “Deadpool,” heck, I’ll say “Transformers: Age of Extinction.” HELL! I’d say even watch “The Emoji Movie!” Even though the movie sucks, you still get to hear the killer voice of TJ f*cking Miller. TJ Miller was TOP-NOTCH CASTING for I-R0k, and after seeing Miller play him, I probably can’t imagine anyone else taking on the role! If the remake and reboot craze continues and “Ready Player One” is the next in line, I quadruple dog dare those behind the project to find a better I-R0k.

In the end, “Ready Player One,” was a f*cking blast! I had very high expectations for the movie, and I certainly was not let down. This is also personally, almost a #1 favorite of mine for Steven Spielberg. I saw this movie on a Tuesday night, and this review was finished on a Friday. On this day, I’m still thinking to myself, “I want to see this again.” Have I seen it again? No I have not, but I’d literally cut through traffic and smash cars to pieces just to go to the theater for a second time and catch the experience once more. So with that being said, “Ready Player One” is yet another win for Spielberg and I’m going to give it a 10/10!

Thanks for reading this review! Fun fact about my experience watching this in the theater, I mentioned I went to see this in 70mm, and it actually was in this quaint theater near Boston, and they played a trailer for “2001: A Space Odyssey” since the theater was bringing it back in the 70mm format for its 50th anniversary. Just… One of the best things I’ve witnessed in my entire life. I might do something soon for “2001” if possible, maybe a movie review, maybe dissect it, or something else along those lines. As far as other content goes, I have a few ideas lined up. Maybe I’ll go see “Blockers,” “A Quiet Place,” “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” or maybe I’ll wind up seeing “Ready Player One” again. Who knows? Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Ready Player One?” What did you think about it? Did you read the book? What did you think about that? I personally love it, and comparing both the movie and the book side by side, they both make themselves great in their own ways. Also, if you were going to make a book or movie full of references, what would the references be and how would the movie play out? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!