2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): A Symphony in the Stars *SPOILERS*

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! In just a few weeks, “First Man” will be hitting theaters, and in preparation for that, I’m going to be doing three reviews for movies that have some sort of relation to space. I will be posting these reviews weekly, so on the day this review is posted, expect another review in this series around the same time the week after. For this first review, we will be talking about “2001: A Space Odyssey,” which I feel is totally appropriate given how this year is the film’s 50th anniversary that way I have more than one excuse to do a post on it. Also, I must warn you that while this is technically a review of the movie, and my tradition is to leak as little important information as I can. This review is filled to the brim with spoilers. So if you have not seen “2001: A Space Odyssey,” proceed this review with caution. Without further ado, let’s open the pod bay doors!

Duuuuuuun. Daaaaaaan. Daaaaaaaawwn.

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DUN DUN!

“2001: A F*cking Space Odyssey” is directed by Stanley Kubrick (Spartacus, Dr. Strangelove) and stars Keir Dullea (David & Lisa, The Good Sheppard), Gary Lockwood (Star Trek, The Six Million Dollar Man), William Sylvester (Gorgo, The Six Million Dollar Man) among some other people you may or may not have heard of. This film takes place, as the title suggests, in a depiction of 2001 before it even happened. Although that’s not necessarily all there is to it, because the movie starts in prehistoric times. This is why if I’m asked to explain the plot of “2001” to you, I’d almost say that the plot doesn’t necessarily stick in a particular direction. Keep in mind, I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s not like one of the “Transformers” movies where there’s either a very basic plot or a nonsensical plot to the point where it’s almost a compliment to even call those films “a movie with a plot.” Gosh I love this movie.

“2001” when it comes to ratings and reviews is one of the more interesting films I’ve encountered. You know how movies like “Fight Club” got terrible reviews by critics and yet we still manage to talk about them today? “2001” is “Fight Club” before “Fight Club.” Maybe not entirely because from what I hear about “Fight Club” when it first came out is how it got mostly bad reviews, “2001” on the other hand was simply polarizing. In fact, when it comes to 1968 releases, “2001” actually managed to become the biggest film at the box office of the year. But now fifty years later, not only are we still talking about it, most of the reception it still gets today is most likely to be positive. On IMDb, it has the #90 spot on its top 250 list. Many screenings are still being shown of this movie in theaters from one occasion to the next. In fact this year alone, MANY screenings have been going on in what this film was shot and projected in, 70mm film. I actually went to two of those screenings in two different theaters, and I might as well describe both of them as epic. There was even a week where “2001” happened to be presented in IMAX, which I also took advantage of. As far as this year goes, “Avengers: Infinity War” may be the biggest reason to see a movie in a theater according to many people. I personally beg to differ, “2001” might be THE movie you must see in a theater before you die no matter what year we’re talking about. There are so many sequences, which I’ll eventually dive into, that make a “2001” experience in a theater worth every penny. And that’s not to say that watching it at home is terrible. I own the movie on Blu-ray and it looks fantastic on my TV. “2001” to this day is one of the few movies I even watched with an overture, and when I hear it, it’s so freaking special. There was actually a point where it was on a plane, at the ready, just for me to watch on the itty-bitty TV they have. I avoided such a thing because they didn’t include the overture, and this film, while I would CERTAINLY watch it anywhere, was made to be seen on the biggest screen possible.

If I were to talk about this movie in detail, I’d like to divide it into three sections.

You’ve got the first section titled “The Dawn of Man,” which is the entirety of the ape scenes. The second section is in space where we see Dr. Heywood Floyd’s journey. And we have the ultimate section where we meet Dave, Frank, and HAL. This movie could probably work if the ten or so minutes of “The Dawn of Man” had been erased, but it is all the better for having it in there. I have a friend who watched this movie alongside their mother, who kept asking questions about what this movie was trying to do or be as she observed everything that was going on.

If you are very unfamiliar with this movie, there might be a chance that you might not be able to fully grasp the point of the apes in the beginning. Although with due time, it could enhance the movie’s entire message. Towards the end of this sequence, we see them create tools. We see a fight go down among the apes as they some take turns slashing with a bone. The bone is defined, as this movie pretty much suggests, as mankind’s earliest tool. There’s a point where we see the bone thrown up in the air, it goes back down, and we just cut to…

SPACE.

In fact, the first shot we get in space is of a satellite, which some people have said is a nuclear missile. If that’s the case, this movie is better than it needs to be. That means we go from mankind’s most primitive weapon to mankind’s most advanced weapon. We go from a bone that can take out a monkey, to a big fat hunk of junk that suggests that its user is NOT MONKEYING AROUND.

Let me just say though, all of the space scenes are BEAUTIFUL. This movie was made in 1968, and it looks so much better in terms of effects than a vast amount of content coming out today. You disagree? Well tell that to Stanley Kubrick who won an Oscar for the effects work done on this film!

Let’s talk about some of the characters in “2001,” starting with Dr. Heywood Floyd. His story is mostly covered through the movie’s second act. He has to maintain a cover story. He has to go after an artifact. Overall, this character indicates something that not only this movie’s characters indicate, but the movie itself indicates. Sometimes nothing can turn into something. This movie is on the slower side of the spectrum, but it’s all the better for it because you can inevitably focus on what is happening and not provide more information that we as an audience don’t really need.

Speaking of which, you want to know how much this movie can associate with the word “nothing?” The first line of spoken dialogue aside from whatever gibberish the apes are saying is given somewhere around the fifteen to twenty minute mark. The last line of the movie is given about twenty minutes or so before the end credits roll.

Two of the third act’s characters include Dave Bowman and Frank Poole. They are onboard the ship where HAL 9000 resides. These two don’t seem to have any sort of close relationship to each other that the movie dives into, but they are put on the mission together, which works for the plot. The duo happens to be heading to Jupiter on a ship by the name of Discovery One. As we meet Dave and Frank, we get an insight as to what their mission is along with their relationship with HAL.

Speaking of that, this is where we meet HAL. Our first lines of dialogue spoken by all of these individuals were all given during an interview. Dave and Frank aren’t necessarily complaining about anything, and HAL is the same way. His words of dialogue are especially worth holding onto because it is what we all want to be. And I say this regardless of whether we are human or technology. HAL goes on saying that he is “incapable of error” and he has a stable relationship with Frank and Dave. This is where we find out HAL was programmed to have emotional capabilities.

Soon thereafter, we see HAL wish Frank a happy birthday. More specifically, after he plays a message where Frank’s parents do the same. This shows how HAL has complete control over the entire ship and he has tons of responsibility. We also see a scene that if you didn’t realize how much this movie was about where we may have been heading with technology, this was hopefully your wake up call. We see Frank and HAL playing each other in a game of chess. HAL outsmarts Frank.

After we see that, we take a look at a scene where HAL alerts Dave of a part of the ship that was going to fail in 72 hours. What happens in terms of removing that part, forget it, we’re gonna jump over it. But an important thing that HAL says afterwards, is that this may be “attributable to human error.” HAL even affirms that incidents like these have always been due to human error and that the computer is never a problem related to this.

It’s scenes like these that make me think about where technology will go in the future, what it will do in the future, how we will stand with or against it in the future. And that is f*cking important, because this movie came out FIFTY YEARS AGO. Whoever these people who watched it back when this came out happen to be, they probably thought something along these lines, and now “their future” might have already arrived! I’m still in my teen years and yet this movie makes me wonder what technology is ultimately going to do! We are pretty much at the point where if you don’t have technology (for the most part) you’re basically a caveman. This movie makes me wonder when/if technology will take over to the point we as a human race are no more. Everyone is now attached to their smartphones, which like HAL, seems to be controlling all of our daily lives. We use it to make calls, receive messages, and depending on who you are, even buy newer phones!

When HAL kills Frank, the way that scene plays out is BRILLIANT. It shows you Frank flying in space, even hitting a pod, which has no sound whatsoever, which is how space works so I appreciate the accuracy. Most big deaths in movies have some sort of sound attached to it. Perhaps an explosion, some dramatic music, maybe even a headbutt. This death is different and honestly stands out from many other deaths we see in movies today. Not only does HAL kill Frank, but he kills some other individuals on the ship who happened to be in cryogenic sleep mode. None of them were awake for the whole movie, I didn’t know much about them, and yet those deaths are just tragic.

Of course, we can’t go without mentioning “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.”

After the recently mentioned deaths, not to mention Dave’s attempt to rescue Frank, Dave asks HAL to open the pod bay doors so he can reenter the ship. HAL denies Dave’s request, to which Dave asks what the problem happens to be. HAL says Dave knows the problem as well as HAL does. The computer knows what’s up. Dave says he’s gonna go in the emergency airlock, which leads to a lack of communication with HAL from then on. Once Dave is inside, we get one of my favorite rants that just scream “Oh s*it, I f*cked up, I need to defend myself,” in the history of film.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?”

“Dave, I really think I’m entitled an answer to that question.”

“I know everything hasn’t been quite right with me. But I can assure you now, very confidently, that it’s going to be alright again.”

“I feel much better now. I really do.”

“Look, Dave. I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think that you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and talk things over.”

Throughout this ramble, Dave isn’t even talking, he’s just going into HAL’s control room. Ready to end this tragedy. He begins disabling HAL, and we see HAL feeling very afraid, which eventually leads to things he must have said in the past, or things maybe he’s programmed to say once turned on. The whole death is really just something that I feel might be hard to replicate in a future film.

An interesting thing I found on “2001’s” Wikipedia page is that critic and poet Dan Schneider recalled HAL’s death being sad. And in all honesty, I can see why. This movie gives you time to see HAL go. The death is a process to go through, and I believe as I watched this scene certain times, I may have felt HAL’s pain. HAL, without a doubt, was an ungrateful son of a bitch as this movie went on. But when he starts defending himself through words, I think that one of two things are absolutely possible. He either is genuinely sorry for his actions, after all he has been programmed with genuine emotions. Or maybe he is trying to defend himself, lie, and attempt to please Dave in a time such as this. Given how HAL has been programmed with genuine emotions, it makes me wonder, does HAL have the ability to know when he’s lying? Does he know how to lie at all?

HAL comes off as fairly certain that the HAL 9000 series is a perfect piece of machinery. Was that a total lie? Did he lie about the chess match against Frank being “a very enjoyable game?” Was the game considered “work” for HAL in order to please Frank? Did HAL enjoy the match, but feel that his win made the humans on the ship useless? There are so many relevant questions to be asked.

You know how I mentioned the last line of the movie comes about 20 minutes before the credits? That is given by Dr. Heywood Floyd, which makes him the only character to appear in multiple time periods of the entire film. Afterwards we are introduced to the ultimate segment, “Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite.”

I need you to take the greatest horror movie of all time. Maybe it’s John Carpenter’s “Halloween,” perhaps “Psycho,” or maybe if you are a fan of Stanley Kubrick and you’re reading this you might say “The Shining.” Keep that movie in mind. The sequence that defines this final part of the movie to me, is the Stargate sequence. If you have followed this blog for a long time, you may know I’m a super-fan of IMAX. I know a bit about IMAX’s history, including one of their pre-shows. A lot of people today are exposed to IMAX’s epic countdown before they watch a movie in that format. This has also occasionally been mixed up during certain films including “Blade Runner: 2049,” “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” and “Suicide Squad.” Before that was a thing however, IMAX had a couple introductions where it’s basically a journey through this wormhole which I’d love to see brought back everywhere for a special occasion if possible. The stargate sequence is pretty much what I described except more hypnotizing, and more horrifying. One of the first questions on my mind after watching the stargate sequence for the first time was the wonder of how high Stanley Kubrick had to have been to include that in the movie.

I mean, I eventually found out that when some people watch “2001,” they’re on drugs or they drop acid, and I can totally see why. It’s not my thing. In fact having seen this sequence in theaters a few times now, the sounds of the stargate were so unbelievably boisterous that it kind of drowns out the music at times. You take the visuals which are eye candy to say the least. You take the music which is a mixture of excitement but a reminder that what you’re watching is simply put, f*cked up. You also take the shots of Dave himself, you can tell he’s scared and doesn’t know what the heck is going on. All of it makes a sequence that is nothing short of masterful.

The way they did this sequence was actually through slit-scan photography, which was done by Douglas Trumbull. You know what? I refuse to call the guy Douglas Trumbull. Instead, I’m calling the guy a genius. This process was also used in Alfred Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” and when it comes to “2001,” this actually required a customized machine. The sequence is haunting, it’s colorful, and it’s just strange. When I have “2001” on and this sequence playing, each time feels like my first time because it’s hard not to be hypnotized by a scene like this.

Now we get to the very ending, where Dave is in this room. He notices an alternate version of himself. The thing is, he’s older. The difference isn’t by much, but if you look closely, you can notice some grey hairs on the alternate Dave. There are also two more alternate versions of Dave himself. You have the one at a dining table and another lying down in bed. The one sitting at the table is not in a suit and instead, some sort of robe. It’s almost like he’s an old Jedi master that is trying to enjoy his last moments before he dies. Speaking of which, this alternate version glances over to another alternate version, whose skin is so worn to the point that he looks like a deranged grandfather. He’s practically on his deathbed. We notice him raising his hand up into the air very slowly. It’s slower than a shy kid in his history class. This hand raise is almost as if he is calling to God. In fact, if you watch the scene, you might notice the monolith, present before in the film, right in front of the bed. It’s as if the monolith is symbolizing Dave’s next stage, which is the star child. We notice this baby on the bed, which also happened to appear where old Dave was once lying down. Where does this baby end up?

SPACE.

Wikipedia suggests that Stanley Kubrick once said that this space baby is the next stage of human evolution. Now this baby has not cried once in this entire movie. If Kubrick is suggesting that we don’t have to go on a plane anymore and hear a crying baby. Spectacular, I hope this is futuristically accurate. Kubrick also said that this space baby, in his mind, is Dave as an elevated being, which is what evolution can suggest. But this film, as the old saying has been thrown around, is seemingly up to interpretation. I do agree on him being reborn, but part of me wonders if this makes Dave “a chosen being.” We always wonder what would happen to us after we die. Maybe the good go to heaven. Maybe the bad end up in hell. And if you kill a supercomputer with genuine emotions, you are reincarnated as a space baby. I can’t wait for the day when everyone forgets that Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter lost to a supercomputer on “Jeopardy!” all because they eventually destroy one with their bare hands and it sends a curse on society.

Another thing that can bring lots of interpretations to the table is the monolith. Our first glimpse of the monolith is during The Dawn of Man. The apes seem to have much curiosity towards the monolith upon first glance. They are all around it trying to decipher whatever the heck it is they are looking at. One thing I’ve noticed is that most of the moments where the monolith can be seen, we see the sun growing over it. When it comes to the first two scenes with the monolith, specifically the scene with the apes and the one on the moon, those are both moments of discovery. We have the apes curious to know what they’re looking at and the men curious to know what they’ve found. It shows how we as mankind are still curious even after we make discoveries years ago. The monolith may also be a way of symbolizing life itself. We see the birth of mankind in The Dawn of Man, where we create tools, and pieces of the puzzle are forming together. We see the moon discovery with the fact that the monolith knows the letter “e.” By the way, that “e” thing, I feel like those who have seen this movie might know what I’m talking about and might consider what I said to be some sort of joke based on actual events, but there’s this sound that can be heard towards the end of that scene and it’s basically the same sound that the fire alarm would make at the school I went to in grades 1-4. I had to cover my ears in the theater during that scene for good reason. We also see the monolith in the stargate signifying that maybe Dave is not going to be in as good of shape as he once was. The stargate, while majestic and beautiful to us as an audience, was not all fun and games for Dave. Then we see the rest of Dave’s life play out. The last thing Dave apparently sees is the monolith, therefore signifying death. Not the death of mankind, but the death of Dave. Although at the same time, maybe if Stanley Kubrick’s words of Dave evolving to the next, superior form of man can be applied here, maybe it can be the death of OUR mankind as we know it, and the birth of a new mankind.

Let’s also talk about the music in this movie. Before “2001” ultimately ended up with the music it has, it once was going to have a score by a composer known as Alex North. Before this film, he worked with Kubrick before on “Spartacus.” After he worked on the score however, his work was eventually discarded. Instead, Stanley Kubrick decided to insert pieces of music that already existed such as Richard Strauss’s “Also Spoke Zarathustra” and Johann Strauss’s “The Blue Danube.” By the way, those two have ZERO relation to each other. That first song I mentioned? That’s the one from that famous opening title sequence. That’s the song that has received parody after parody to the point where it’s almost not even a joke anymore. This song plays three times in this movie, and each time is just about as epic as the last. As for The Blue Danube, that plays three times, but none play the song in its entirety. There is not one original song here. In most movies, I’d ask myself why the f*ck that would be the case. Here, I wouldn’t blame others for asking such a question, but the biggest surprise to me is how much something like this works here. I mentioned I went to see this in the theater. When you listen to the music, it’s more like you’re taking a trip to an opera house as opposed to a movie theater. Much like the stargate sequence, it’s a trip. All of the music just feels grand, it matches with what the movie is trying to be, which is an ambitious epic.

This movie also shows something in space that I never really thought too much about until I saw this movie. I know that at NASA they have those zero gravity simulators and those can help you know what you’re in for regarding your future space travel. Although there are several scenes, and these are noticeable when the space scenes begin, where people are learning how to adapt to their spatial environment. There’s a scene where a stewardess is trying to walk and she’s having a tad of trouble doing so. You also have a scene that shows people needing to learn how to use the toilet in space. It gives us a look at humanity at a new stage in our cycle. We have now gotten to the point where space travel is pretty much a necessity and now we need to learn how to adapt to it.

Before this closes off, let’s dive into some detail about HAL. One recent notion I heard about this movie is that HAL, despite being a supercomputer, might be the most “human” character in the entire movie. Having heard that, such a thing makes every bit of possible sense. All of the humans in this movie for the most part, while they do appear human, barely have any sense of emotion. Even when they’re seemingly in danger, they don’t act like they are as much as HAL would. If you take HAL’s final words, you can tell that he made a mistake. You can tell he is trying to defend himself. Everyone else is trying to get work done. Sure, people do work, but each and every day we are letting the machines do all the work for us. It’s as if we are really the machines and HAL is the sole human in this entire film. In fact, as we become the machines, which we rely on to get work done, the machines have the ability to grow a consciousness, to the point where they can beat us in literally anything. After all, in terms of how animals operate, humans are pretty high in terms of superiority. The time when machines are as emotional as say a human is a point where one can assume that they can “win” the fight for survival. The whole message of the movie is that mankind created tools, allowing us to advance ourselves, to the point where we create a doomsday tool.

Gosh I love this movie. Oh, I forgot one more thing.

SPACE.

In the end, “2001: A Space Odyssey” is one of the best sci-fi movies ever made. Not only in terms of story, but also in how it was made, how it was directed, the effort put into every single set. This film has been influential on many more sci-fi films that have arrived after it. I can imagine it STILL being talked about even a thousand years from now. Not to mention, as a film it is different, imaginative, and also just something that can evoke lots of emotions. Either fear, sadness, inspiration, whatever. Stanley Kubrick, I love you, I want to watch more of your movies, you have outdone yourself here. I’m going to give “2001: A Space Odyssey” a 10/10. Thanks for reading this review! My next space movie review will be up on Thursday, October 4th, and I am not sure what I’m going to do next. But I would like to announce that one of the installments in my space movie review series is going to be “Gravity.” I will say, if I don’t have that review next week, I can guarantee that will be up the week after. As for the other movie, I’m actually still deciding. The mystery remains. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with your email or WordPress account so you can open the pod bay doors and find some more great content! I want to know, did you see “2001: A Space Odyssey?” Or, what is your favorite Stanley Kubrick movie? I’ll be honest, I need to see more of his work. But if you have a favorite, let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Meg (2018): Shut Up, Shark

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“The Meg” is directed by Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, Phenomenon) and stars Jason Statham (The Transporter, Furious 7), Bingbing Li (Transformers: Age of Extinction, Resident Evil: Retribution), Rainn Wilson (The Office, Juno), Ruby Rose (John Wick: Chapter 2, xXx: Return of Xander Cage), Winston Chao (The Wedding Banquet, 1911), and Cliff Curtis (The Last Airbender, Fear the Walking Dead). This movie is essentially about Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) who encounters a megalodon, a killer shark that is as large as Texas. It is up to him to save people from suffering while a submersible happens to be sinking.

“The Meg” was not really my most anticipated movie of the year, it was not really something I was thinking was going to be all that great, but at the same time, I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of it. Kind of in the same way that geckos can’t keep their eyes off of how 15 minutes can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance. Maybe they don’t know what that means, but at the same time it’s just so hypnotizing and rings a bell in people’s heads. The first trailer of “The Meg,” at least to me, was a thing of beauty. I felt like this was not going to necessarily be the movie that kills all of the other summer movies in terms of likability. Having already seen “Mission: Impossible: Fallout,” this movie has some big shoes to fill. Based on the music and catch phrases that the marketing provided (CHOMP ON THIS), I knew what I was going in for, and I was f*cking ready for it. Let me just tell you all, this movie is what “Sharknado” should have been. OK, well, maybe not, the plots kind of differ, but even so, in a world where we have more “Sharknado” movies than we have “Jaws” movies, “The Meg” is here to chew on every last “Sharknado” possible!

I’ll remind everyone about “Sharknado,” and if you don’t know what “Sharknado” is, consider yourself safe from being trapped by shark Satan. There’s also a good chance you might not be aware that it is well known for being stupid, and in a way that I GUESS entertains people. For me, I just find it horrendous. And even the franchise itself understands what I’m talking about. The previous “Sharknado” installment claims to be the ultimate movie in its lineup. It’s literally called “The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time!” When it comes to “The Meg,” the plot, while still revolving around scope per se, utilizes it and uses it in a way that is technically smaller. “Sharknado” might as well be the “Star Wars” prequel trilogy…

“It’s so dense, every single frame has so many things going on.” -Rick McCallum

…whereas “The Meg” might as well be the “Star Wars” original trilogy, where there’s glory, with a proper purpose.

“The Meg” is a movie revolving around a really big shark, and this does feel like a big movie, and that’s exactly what this movie does very well. Speaking of things it excels at, it manages to have some scares. Nothing groundbreaking, nothing to write home about, but it all works. “The Meg” manages to have the same quality “Jaws” seems to have, which is to effectively combine summertime fun and horror and put it into a nice little package. Now this movie is no masterpiece, so to call it the next “Jaws” is a bit of a stretch, but it certainly does share a redeeming quality that kind of made “Jaws” what it is. Horrific summertime fun.

What “Jaws” has though compared to “The Meg” is compelling characters. The characters in “The Meg” aren’t exactly unlikable, they don’t do anything that makes you want to smash them to bits, but they just aren’t really worth talking about in a greatest characters of all time list. And I say that primarily because while they certainly serve their purpose and are somewhat intriguing, they don’t have enough depth to them. Although then again, some of them are deep underwater in the movie so what do I know?

Our main character in the movie is played by Jason Statham and he plays a guy named Jonas Taylor, but in all seriousness, I am probably not gonna remember the character’s name that well and just refer to him as Jason Statham. If he looks like Jason Statham, talks like Jason Statham, walks like Jason Statham, then he’s Jason Statham. I also gotta say though, seeing Jason Statham in this movie, I honestly think he was slightly miscast. I can imagine others playing this character aside from Statham. Sure, Statham kind of works, but there are better choices out there. Maybe John Cena (Blockers, The Wall), maybe Oscar Isaac (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Ex Machina), maybe Terry Crews (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Brooklyn Nine-Nine).

And when it comes to the background we get related to Jason Statham’s character, there’s not really much I can report. All we really know about him is that apparently he’s crazy. In fact, what do we really know about anyone in this movie? Let’s just say you tied me to a chair and the only way I’d be able to live is if I can explain about at least one character in detail. Chances are that’d be impossible, because I feel like all of these characters lack detail. These are just people that all seem to be stuck in a situation who we as audience members could be getting to know, but in reality, are just scribbled on the script just to move the story along. These characters are seemingly interesting, they’re funny, they have good chemistry for the most part, acting is hit or miss, but they all seem to work well together.

Speaking of good acting, let’s talk about the portrayal of the young girl, Meiyang, played by Shuya Sophia Cai. Let me remind you, this is a child actress. She was born a decade ago, and the first trailer for this movie came out barely before she entered the double digit ages. Her acting level in this movie was probably better than a good number of adults present on the cast list. Either the director worked extra hard with this girl to make her execute the best performance possible, she has excellent mentors who know acting and can teach acting quite well, or maybe pleasing acting to her is something that just comes naturally. I don’t know, but the main point is, this girl can act! Well done to her!

As far as pacing in this movie goes, it almost makes the movie a puzzle in a sense. In the very beginning, it’s all exposition, it’s all introductions, it gets boring after a while, you just start begging for a megalodon to show up out of nowhere. I will admittedly say that maybe the first act of “Skyscraper” may have entertained me more than the first act of “The Meg.” Once you get into the megalodon stuff however, you don’t want to go back. It gets funnier, it gets wilder, it gets stupider in the best possible way. There was also some cringe comedy in there, and I’ll be honest, it flows rather well if you ask me.

One thing I gotta ask myself though is how GOOD this movie actually is. Because I’ll be honest with you, I REALLY enjoyed myself during “The Meg.” Let me just say this IS NOT a 10/10, but it’s also not a 1/10. What I’m trying to figure out on my mind if I like this movie because it’s so stupid it’s fantastic, or if it’s fun, or I’m just putting myself in a particular mindset for a couple of hours. And speaking of time, when I walked out of the theater, I noticed it was around 9:50PM, I went into the movie at 7:45PM, and the actual film started sometime past 7:50PM. When I walked out, this movie felt like it was 10 or 20 minutes shorter than it actually was, and I mean that in a good way. When you consider the boring first act, that almost sounds impractical. But from my perspective, this movie REALLY picks up at around the 30 or 40 minute mark.

Not only is pacing something that doesn’t stay consistent in this movie, but the tone is sometimes off for me. There were a couple times when someone was in danger where I didn’t really care if they got seriously hurt or if they died, whatever. I just didn’t really care for them because this didn’t feel like a character movie for one thing and once again, these people basically have no depth to them. And speaking of that, you know how I mentioned “The Meg” might as well be the superior version of “Sharknado?” With that statement in mind, “The Meg” contains a better story with more competent camerawork, special effects, and writing. I didn’t say everything in this movie was better by a landslide when it comes to “Sharknado.” Characterization needs some work if you ask me.

In the end, “The Meg” is the best kind of stupid movie you could ever ask for. It basically knows what it is, the fun never stops after a certain point, and while there happen to be some clashing tones interfering, this movie is still a good time. I honestly want to get the “The Meg” on Blu-ray when it comes out, because I think this will end up having a positive replay value on my part, so when that movie hits stores, I’ll be on my way. I don’t recommend this movie to everyone. If you are someone who is often called “Shirley” and is very serious, this movie might be one you’d want to avoid. For me, I just had plain fun, and I can’t wait to watch this movie again if I ever get a chance. I’m gonna give “The Meg” a 6/10. I’ll be honest with you. This grade might not even last. It could go up, it could go down, it could stay where it is. But based on everything I said, 6 seems to fit. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’m going to have my review up for “2001: A Space Odyssey,” which will be the first entry in my space movie reviews in preparation for “First Man.” Speaking of upcoming content, I would like to warn everyone that New York Comic Con is coming up in a couple weeks, and I have tickets for Friday and Sunday so be sure to look out for my thoughts on the con whenever I can get around to posting them. Be sure to follow me here on Scene Before either with a WordPress account or email so you can stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “The Meg?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite shark movie? I bet all of you are gonna pick “Jaws” so I’ll ask another question. What are your thoughts on “Sharknado?” You can talk about individual movies or the franchise, your choice. Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Henry Cavill (Superman) OUT of DC Extended Universe (Or is he?)

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Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! The bird is getting crashed by the plane! Today we are going to discuss some of the most shocking movie news I’ve ever witnessed this year! When it comes to comic book movies, we’ve had our fair share of standouts this year when it comes to news. We’ve gotten news about records being broken by “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Infinity War,” James Gunn, director of “Guardians of the Galaxy” and “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” had his Disney business relationship severed over nasty tweets, thus making him unable to direct “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.” The Russo Brothers, the directors behind “Avengers: Infinity War,” essentially sent out a reminder that spoiling the movie is wrong and is just as bad as committing murder. We also received word that both “X-Men: Dark Phoenix” and “The New Mutants” were pushed back from their original release dates. While “Dark Phoenix” is a somewhat understandable pushback, the one for “The New Mutants” is basically an electric shock and a half, moving from April of this year to August of next year!

Aside from the James Gunn situation, this news we are going to talk about may be the most shocking comic book movie related news I have to take on this very year. Henry Cavill, otherwise known as the star of 2013’s “Man of Steel,” which was essentially THE KICKSTARTER of the Detective Comics Extended Universe, has apparently parted ways with Warner Brothers and will no longer appear in any of the future DC films as Superman.

Before we go any further, there’s probably a spot open in the DC Extended Universe for a role, so I gotta ask, Nicolas Cage, what are you waiting for?! You had a chance to play Superman before and that didn’t work out! This is a second chance for you! Take it while it’s here!

Oh yeah, right, this happened. Still, you can play a LIVE-ACTION Superman!

Nevertheless, to me, this news is something that didn’t even cross my mind. Out of everyone that would slip away from the Detective Comics Extended Universe, I didn’t think Cavill would be the last one. Maybe Amy Adams, maybe Laurence Fishburne, maybe Ben Affleck (in fact at this point, it’s quite possible he’s completely out), all those people would consider parting ways or exit the DC Extended Universe before Cavill. I mean, it”s pretty certain that folks like Gal Gadot want to stay. I thought Cavill had no problem with staying in a franchise like this. It certainly pays well, he gets to be an iconic character, and it’ll definitely help with name recognition. I mean, if he wasn’t Superman, there’s a chance I’d probably have no idea who this guy was once I saw “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” This almost sounds like something you’d hear about a maniac who insults women becoming president. But then you look at the source where this pretty much all started, The Hollywood Reporter.

Henry Cavill Out as Superman Amid Warner Bros.’ DC Universe Shake-Up (Exclusive)

According to the article, Warner Brothers, the studio behind all of the movies in the DCEU, has been making attempts to enlist Cavill to make a cameo appearance in the upcoming Zachary Levi-lead “Shazam” set to release in 2019. However, that is not happening, and when it comes to Cavill’s representatives WME (William Morris Endeavor) and the studio, the two sides were in talks and it basically lead to the end of Cavill’s Superman appearances.

So when that “Justice League” sequel comes around, not only will Cavill’s facial hair be erased, but so will his entire body.

The article goes on to state that Warner is shifting its gears towards making a “Supergirl” movie, which will focus on a teen heroine. Because ya know, we need some buildup toward “Batgirl v. Supergirl: Dawn of Injustice: Gods Among Us.”

One quote from the article states the following: “Superman is like James Bond, and after a certain run you have to look at new actors.” Funny enough, Daniel Craig is supposed to be doing his final “Bond” movie. So if Henry Cavill becomes James Bond, which honestly would be my preferred pick for the next Bond other than maybe Tom Hiddleston, it would be interesting to see a trade in roles between him and Daniel Craig. I doubt Craig wants to be the next Man of Steel, and I never really imagined him as such a characater, but nevertheless. I should also mention that Cavill was the runner-up to play Bond before the crew ultimately decided on Daniel Craig.

I will also point out that Henry Cavill does have another recently announced commitment. Netflix has decided to do a series on “The Witcher.” Cavill will be playing Geralt of Rivia. This started out as a series of short stories and novels, eventually leading to tabletop games, video games, a film, and a TV series separate from this one we’re currently discussing. Based on what I’m reading from IMDb, there’s eight episodes listed and they’ll be released in 2019. From what I’m imagining, this is essentially Netflix trying to start their own “Game of Thrones.”

Other than that, Cavill actually recently completed a project that has yet to be released, specifically “Nomis,” where he will star alongside Alexandria Daddario (Texas Chainsaw 3D, Baywatch) and Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Castle).

View this post on Instagram

Today was exciting #Superman

A post shared by Henry Cavill (@henrycavill) on

And as if this situation couldn’t get any more insane, I have a couple things I need to spit out. For one thing, Henry Cavill posted a video on his Instagram some time after this was announced of him wearing a shirt that said “Krypton Lifting Team,” as he slowly presents his own Superman action figure, all the while some dog-bark version of “The Blue Danube” happens to be playing. He lifts it up very slowly and brings it back down at the same pace. I have a ton of questions, so let’s start with question one.

WHAT THE F*CK?!

HOW DOES THIS HELP ANYTHING?!

WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!

One of the best parts of this post is what’s being said in it, specifically, “Today was exciting.” So… What does that mean? Is this all a joke? Is this to get into the Halloween spirit and scare all the DC fans out there? Are you excited to exit the DCEU? Are you disappointed because you didn’t make this decision on your own? I don’t understand anything about this! Is the shirt a joke? Are you trying to just make a video for fun where you’re pretending to lift weights and instead of lifting a weight you happen to lift a Superman action figure?! I don’t understand!

So let’s move on from the actor and focus on the studio once again, specifically Warner Brothers. Here’s what a Warner Brothers spokesperson said about this s*itshow after the publication of the story.

“We have a great relationship and great respect for Henry Cavill that continues to remain unchanged. Additionally we have made no current decisions regarding any upcoming Superman films.”

I have something to ask.

WHAT THE F*CK?!

HOW DOES THIS HELP ANYTHING?!

WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!

When I was younger, I’ve always been asked “yes” or “no” questions, and apparently for some reason my answers may not have been valid enough for said questions. In this case, this does not answer the question of whether or not Henry Cavill is out as Superman. Is Henry Cavill Superman? That’s the question we want answered!

This news is not only shocking, not only big, but overall it just makes me question a number of things. Is Warner going to hit the reset button on the entire DC Universe? If so, will this cancel movies like “Wonder Woman 1984?” What is humanity? What is the meaning of life? And most importantly, despite the title of the post, IS HENRY CAVILL STILL SUPERMAN?!

If you say yes, it’s all cool, we can move on with our lives. If you say no, then I do recommend probably continuing this current DCEU, personally because I’m curious to see where it goes. And if you do need another person to play Superman, allow me to throw out a few suggestions.

Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street, Titanic)
Alexander Skarsgård (The Legend of Tarzan, True Blood)
Tom Cruise (Top Gun, Mission: Impossible)
Oscar Isaac (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Ex Machina)
Channing Tatum (21 Jump Street, Jupiter Ascending)
Toby Kebbell (The Hurricane Heist, Warcraft)

And just for the fun of it, Nicolas Cage (Raising Arizona, The Wicker Man).

And just for the ABSOLUTE fun of it, Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Logan Lucky).

These suggestions are sort of on the fly, so bear with me. I almost put down Jason Bateman (Horrible Bosses, Game Night) but I don’t know how much interest he’d have doing a superhero movie.

And sticking with the idea of how much this news honestly shocked me, this does sound like something you’d hear on that one day in the year. Specifically, April Fools Day, the holiday that celebrates being a total dick to those you know. This honestly makes me wonder something, and I guess this kind of falls in the hot take category. Is this actually a joke? The Hollywood Reporter is said to be one of the most credible sources in the entertainment industry. They’ve been in operation for almost ninety years. Maybe they wanted to do something for fun where they could create their own fake news. I legit think this is actually happening, either that or I am just really hoping it’s happening. Seriously though,

WHAT THE F*CK?!

HOW DOES THIS HELP ANYTHING?!

WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!

Thanks for reading this post! I just recently bought “12 Strong” on Blu-ray, so a review of that might be coming rather soon, and also stay tuned for my review for “2001: A Space Odyssey,” which will kick off my series of space movie reviews in preparation for “First Man,” which is set to release in October. There’s no official date for when I’m going to post such a review, but the latest it’ll be delivered is September 27th. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with a WordPress account or email and stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, what are your thoughts on Henry Cavill hanging up the cape as Supes? Or, who do you think should replace him? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Game Night (2018): Live Or Die, the Comedic Choice Is Yours

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“Game Night” is directed by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, who together have collaborated on directing “Vacation” and stars Jason Bateman (Horrible Bosses, Juno) alongside Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls, The Notebook) as a couple who often do a game night at their house with people they’re close with. However, Jason Bateman’s character of Max happens to have a brother who is in town by the name of Brooks, who is essentially maximized in every way compared to Max. Brooks is planning a game night of his own and everybody ends up attending, this eventually leads to everyone’s realization that this is not just your standard gaming session where people play Scrabble or Life or Pictionary, and it is instead, a murder mystery, thus leading to the movie’s crazy, action-packed events.

I wanted to see “Game Night” when it first came out in theaters, however I never got around to it during its theatrical run. I felt that other movies were more important, I was busy focusing on and recapping the Academy Awards at the time and it just happened to be something I never came across. But the trailer made this movie look great. Did it feel like something a studio would assemble together? Maybe, a little bit, but it felt like it was done with character and passion. Plus, I heard sometime while I was missing this movie that the duo directing this film are actually signed on to direct a “Flash” film for DC. That doesn’t really say much, but given that statistic, it did get me intrigued. I wanted to see how they’d do with this film, thus giving me a sense of what they could do with a film like “The Flash.” And I’d say they did a very good job.

When it comes to “Game Night,” this movie just surprised the hell out of me. I didn’t think “Game Night” was going to be bad, but I didn’t expect to laugh my ass off as much as I did while watching it. One of the first exchanges of dialogue of the movie takes place during this trivia night, and it literally set the tone for me, just a few minutes in, I’m already loving what I’m seeing. And this made me ask myself, could this top “Blockers?”

Some of you may be wondering why I’m asking that. “Game Night” was released on February 23rd, 2018 in the United States, and I’ve witnessed several comedies this year, or movies containing comedy in them, not just “Blockers,” and they’ve caught me by surprise, because in 2017, comedy was literally, no pun intended, a joke to me. With movies like “How to Be a Latin Lover,” “Fist Fight,” “Snatched,” and the gosh-awful “Father Figures,” 2017 overall just fell flat. Heck, I was even underwhelmed by “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2!” Granted they had an enormous fluke with “The Disaster Artist” towards the end of the year, but still. I’m not saying all of 2018’s comedies have been great, go watch “Uncle Drew,” “Gringo,” or “Life of the Party” and tell me how you feel afterwards. But when you consider how much “Blockers” surprised me and made me see layers that I didn’t think I’d witness, how heartwarming yet hilarious “Tag” happened to be, and how many stitches I needed after “Avengers: Infinity War,” which isn’t even a comedy, but it managed to make me laugh more than I would at many comedies coming out nowadays, all of this just seems amazing. Comedy has turned around significantly for me this year, and everybody seems to be stepping up their game. In fact, kind of like “Blockers,” I kind of had an urge to watch “Game Night” again after viewing it for the first time.

Before we dive into some main points people usually need to go over for comedies, I’d just like to point out that there are points where I noticed the cinematography for “Game Night” is probably better than it had to be. There’s this sequence involving a fancy-looking egg and as everyone seems to be tossing it around, it’s all done with the camera moving around in one shot for an extended period of time as the characters are just doing what they’re supposed to do. It was just magic.

As far as the type of comedy that you get in “Game Night,” it’s basically mile-a-minute humor. Most of the humor seems to out of the characters’ mouths as opposed to actions, however some of the actions in this movie, while sometimes disturbing, but not in a way that turned me off, were certainly funny as well. Is anything new really brought to the table here? Nothing I can list off the top off my head, but whatever is there, works. This movie was done by some of the people who have worked on “Horrible Bosses,” and I’ll say having watched both “Game Night” and “Horrible Bosses,” if you like the tone and humor delivered in “Horrible Bosses,” I’d say you’d end up liking “Game Night.” In fact if you ask me personally, I like “Game Night” better than “Horrible Bosses.” Maybe it’s because I was rather late to the party when it came to “Horrible Bosses” and my mother was hyping it up like a bride does with her own wedding. My expectations, while not small, were perhaps lower for “Game Night” than they were for “Horrible Bosses.” And as of right now, I think a lot of you don’t have to see either one of these movies and automatically consider “Game Night” better than the other. Why?

This guy. If you hate this guy, “Horrible Bosses” might not be for you.

Some of the more recent movies I reviewed like “Uncle Drew” and “The Hurricane Heist” have something in common. Let me give you a small hint.

“UNCLE DREW” REVIEW
“Let’s talk about some of the characters in “Uncle Drew.” They all suck. They don’t drink enough Pepsi in the movie!”

“THE HURRICANE HEIST” REVIEW
“When it comes to Toby Kebbell, he plays a guy named Will, and what I have to say about his character is what can pretty much be said for everyone else’s characters. All of them suck, they have no personalities, not even their quirky southern accents could have saved this movie.”

Fortunately, I don’t have to say such a thing about this movie, because every single character was awesome! The strong point of “Game Night” is in the chemistry between everyone on screen, almost everyone is in a pair, whether they’re a couple or just partners, their separate interactions come together to make something super. A story between Max (Jason Bateman) and Annie (Rachel McAdams) is that a reason why they can’t have kids is because of a sibling rivalry between Max and his brother, Brooks. When it comes to another couple, Kevin (Lamorne Morris) and Michelle (Kylie Bunbury), they get into an argument about the past, specifically how Michelle slept with a celebrity. And there’s Sarah (Sharon Horgan) and Ryan (Billy Magnussen), which is basically a combination of the brains and… someone who literally needs the brains.

One thing I seem to notice about a couple good comedies is how much a dog would stand out in the movie, and in some scenarios, maybe not in the most pleasant of ways. This has been proven with “Anchorman” with Ron Burgundy’s dog, Baxter. It has also been supported in “There’s Something About Mary” with Puffy. Here, there’s a dog that’s often held by a character who I liked more and more as the movie went on, specifically Gary played by Jesse Plemons. There’s this scene where the dog is all covered in blood, I won’t go into much detail, but it’s in the trailer. Also, speaking of Jesse Plemons’s character, this is definitely one of the better performances the movie has to offer. It may not seem like much at first, but the difficulty seemingly increases as Plemons delivers a particular line in a certain way, it’s just priceless seeing his character do what he does.

I really don’t have much else to say about “Game Night,” but part of me wonders why they would name Max’s brother, Brooks (Kylie Chandler), the way they did. Is it to make him have a superior sounding name and not just be a superior fellow by himself? And you might be thinking, “Hey, Jackass! How the heck is Brooks a superior sounding name?” Ever heard of Brooks Brothers? If you have a luxurious fellow in your movie, you might as well give him a name that associates with luxury. I don’t know if this is true, but I’m curious to know the meaning behind his name if there does happen to be one.

In the end, “Game Night” just shows that 2018 is probably one of my favorite years in regards to comedy ever. If I remember correctly, I think probably laughed here as much as I did during “Tag,” which is kind of funny considering New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers worked on both movies. The chemistry between all of the characters was fantastic, I basically died laughing, and there’s even a couple lines that I want to quote forever.

“I hate game night!” -Annie

Not me sister, I motherf*cking loved “Game Night.” I’m gonna give “Game Night” an 8/10. Thanks for reading this review! I’m not sure what movie I’m gonna review next, however Steven Soderbergh’s most recently released film which he directed, “Unsane,” is now free on Amazon Prime, so maybe I’ll review that if there’s nothing else to do. Be sure to follow Scene Before so you can stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Game Night?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite comedy of 2018 so far? To me, it’s a tough choice, probably either this or “Blockers,” nevertheless, let me know your opinions on what this year’s best comedy is for you! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Getting Limited IMAX Release *Tickets Now On Sale!*

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Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Before we dive into this post, let me just ask you all something. What is your favorite form of social media? If you ask me, my two favorites have to be YouTube, the site that won’t stop playing the same freaking GEICO or Google ad before watching EVERY VIDEO YOU CLICK ON, and Twitter, the elementary school playground where Donald Trump pushes his enemies down the slide, Wendy’s is being the class clown, and former Economic Secretary to the Treasury of the UK, Ed Balls, is trying to play “Guardians of the Galaxy” with his friends all the while doing a terrible Groot impression.

A couple things to say. First, YES, that is a real tweet. It’s exactly as Ed Ballsy as it looks. And second, it’s I AM Ed Balls! Actually, wait a minute, he’s playing the character, it should I am Groot. Never mind. Speaking of social media, some of the most popular things people happen to find as they flock around their favorite sites is pictures or videos of babies. Why else do you think “Charlie Bit My Finger” is one of the most viewed YouTube videos of all time? If that’s the case, I’m a little dumbfounded that some channels having to do with babies are getting left in the dust, for example, one created by a couple known as Paul and Genevieve. This channel, while it doesn’t exactly focus on kids doing peculiar, cute, or funny things on camera, it does focus on the preparation for becoming parents, and by that I mean, literally trying as hard as possible to get pregnant. This is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a series on YouTube where the recently mentioned couple attempt as hard as possible to have a baby. Each and every Monday, a new adventure is uploaded to the interwebs, and usually the adventure is not a pleasant one. In fact, most of these adventures continue to remind the couple about the struggles of their journey as they deal with incessant crying, pain, needles, thinking they’re under a dark spell, needles, appointments, needles, “trying everything,” and more needles! You can find the latest “WTIVF?” content on a YouTube channel specifically dedicated to the series. Their latest video is a bit of change of pace from the norm. Most of the events have been shot prior to this channel’s inception, however this is the first full-length video audiences get to see around present time. If you like unicorns, this episode is probably more preferable than some others in the series. Be sure to subscribe to the “What the IVF?” YouTube channel, ring the notification bell, check out the show’s other homes on the interwebs, all links are down below including a personal website for the show itself. Also, be sure to tell Paul and Genevieve that Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

If you have been following me here on Scene Before lately, you might know that I have done a recent post titled “Going To See 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): A Tale of Two 70s.” In that post, I talk about the two times I saw “2001” in a theatrical setting. Both times were in 70mm equipped cinemas in the state of Massachusetts. That post took a long time to make, but overall I’m pretty proud of it. If you want to read it, click the link below and check it out. But if you’re more focused on this post, please stay here, because I’ve got some words I need to spit out. I’ve already seen “2001” twice this year in theaters, both of my experiences were nothing short of fabulous. And you know what? I think it might be time to go see it again. Unfortunately, there are no 70mm runs near my house at the moment, nor are there any other engagements that I’m personally aware of. But there is something big coming.

This year, “The Incredibles,” my all time favorite animated movie FINALLY got a sequel released to the public, and incredible it was indeed! My experience of seeing that movie was also pretty darn incredible as well. Before the release of “Incredibles 2,” one of my deepest desires was to see its prior installment in the IMAX format. I thought throughout most of my life that this was an experience that I would always dream of, but it was never going to become a reality. But for one night, it did. As part of a double feature which included both “Incredibles” installments, my dream of seeing “The Incredibles” in the IMAX format came true. By the way, this was shown before the official technical release of “Incredibles 2.” To specify, it was shown ONE DAY PRIOR TO THE OPENING THURSDAY NIGHT SCREENINGS! However, this month, something just as incredible will be hitting IMAX, and that is “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

Having seen “2001: A Space Odyssey” a bunch of times now, a part of me couldn’t be happier. I haven’t watched the movie from start to finish until this year, but when I did sit down to watch this movie, it made me realize what I had been missing. It’s a movie that came out in the 1960s, and yet it looks better than a bunch of movies coming out today. The space shots are majestic and full of glory. People back then would agree with me in saying those shots look amazing, and I think they look so beautiful that I had to see this movie in theaters not once, but twice! There are other reasons too, but nevertheless.

But in all seriousness, a movie like this in IMAX? I’m in for sure! Aside from the huge scale glory that can apply to “2001,” I think that “2001” is a perfect choice for a movie to bring into the IMAX format simply because it’s that good of a movie. And I’m not saying that only because I think it’s one of my all time favorite movies, which it is, but to say I’m alone on that sort of statement would be completely false. As you know, two of IMAX’s main focal points are to crank out their exclusive content such as those documentaries which are traditionally exclusive to museum settings, and to immerse audiences into new content from other studios. However bringing older movies to be presented in the IMAX format has become a somewhat increasing trend over the years. This has been done with “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “The Wizard of Oz,” “Harry Potter,” “Forrest Gump,” “Jurassic Park,” and “Top Gun.” I honestly don’t mind this trend. As much as I try to promote originality, it’s fun to see what it would be like to witness a movie that was in theaters at one point on the big screen once again, maybe share that experience with younger generations, and since it involves IMAX, that experience could actually be enhanced.

One thing that I’ve noticed however when it comes to a number of these presentations is that some of them don’t exactly utilize the ultimate technology of IMAX by showing the movie in IMAX’s 70mm projection. In fact, with a movie like “2001: A Space Odyssey,” which was shot using 70mm equipment, not to mention shown in theaters during its theatrical run using 70mm projectors, the whole idea of presenting this in IMAX 70mm film just sounds perfect! And that is EXACTLY what is going to happen!

I will say though, I am probably unlikely to catch one of these 70mm screenings. I live about an hour away from Providence, RI, which has an IMAX 70mm projector, but based on evidence I’ve witnessed since tickets have recently gone on sale, I can’t really say that Providence is actually showing this movie. They even have digital projectors, but the movie isn’t even being shown on that. In fact, if you’re reading this right now, there’s a good chance that YOU might not even get the chance to see the movie in IMAX 70mm. Here’s a list of the theaters showing “2001: A Space Odyssey” in IMAX 70mm.

AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 (New York, NY)

AMC Metreon 16 (San Francisco, CA)

AMC at Citywalk Hollywood (Universal City, CA)

Ontario Place Cinesphere IMAX (Toronto, ON, Canada)

Indiana State Museum (Indianapolis, IN) (Starting September 7th)

Although, something feels strange about all this. This is starting towards the end of August (for the most part), there is another movie that is supposed to be showing in IMAX 70mm that seems to be in just about all of these locations. Don’t believe me? Here’s an article from Variety, published last month.

‘The Dark Knight’ Set for 10th Anniversary Imax Re-Release (EXCLUSIVE)

If you are too lazy to read articles, there’s not much wrong with that, I understand, but the article basically states that around the same time, IMAX is doing a one-week engagement for “The Dark Knight” because it just turned 10 years old. And I will say, that is actually a grand idea. For one thing, it not only dazzled audiences for how much of a quality movie it turned out to be. But it also happened to be the first major Hollywood film shot using IMAX cameras. Turns out, both “The Dark Knight” and “2001: A Space Odyssey” will be playing on the same day as each other at different showtimes. And having heard this sort of news, I actually think that’s almost mind-blowing because when I usually go to an IMAX it usually has one film playing a day unless there’s some special event going on like an opening Thursday night. So we have two big movies playing simultaneously in IMAX, we have both of them on 70mm film, and they have around two and a half hours of footage! That’s a LOT of film! A little bit of digression here, but the funny thing about this is that “The Dark Knight” is actually directed by Christopher Nolan and now this presentation of “2001” is actually being kind of overseen by Christopher Nolan. Gosh he’s my favorite director of all f*ckin’ time.

And if you can’t catch this movie on IMAX 70mm film, there’s still other opportunities to catch this movie in the IMAX format. According to sources including the Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, and others, this movie is said to be shown in more than 350 IMAX theaters. IMAX has over 1,000 theaters in existence, so I can only wonder which ones will be selling the golden tickets. Although another thing to consider is that all of these theaters that are playing the movie in IMAX 70mm are located somewhere in North America. Is it possible that this is only exclusive to North America? I think that might be the case. In fact, don’t trust me completely, because I don’t have evidence to completely back this up, but I think I remember reading about this somewhere, I don’t know where, but wherever I read this had a statement saying that this was exclusive to North America. I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things, but I don’t work for Warner Brothers, I don’t work for the movie industry, so I’ll admit upfront, I might not be the first guy you’d want to trust on every single detail you hear.

Another thing I will say though is that “2001: A Space Odyssey” is one of those masterpieces that you have to catch before you die. There’s a reason why it has a spot in the IMDb top 250! And let me tell you something about this movie. Last June, I caught the movie twice in a 70mm theatrical setting, as mentioned earlier. A week after I saw “2001” in the theater for the second time that month, I was going on a trip to Walt Disney World, because my family and I decided to give more money to the people we already gave money to for their work on “Avengers: Infinity War,” “Incredibles 2,” “Black Panther,” and unfortunately, “Solo: A Star Wars Story.” On the way back from the trip, I was searching through JetBlue’s options for free movies. One movie on the free list was “2001,” so I started watching it. And I realized it was missing something I usually get when I watch the movie, not only at the theater, but even when I watch the Blu-ray.

It was the overture that occurs before the MGM logo… In fact, if I remember correctly, I don’t even think the MGM logo appeared either.

Sure, that is a weird compliant… But having watched this movie several times, that is probably something that I will continue to associate with my experiences. And this made me realize something. “2001” IS NOT A PLANE MOVIE. Would I watch “2001” anywhere I go? I probably would. I consider it to be one of my favorite movies of all time. But if you ask me, if you should watch the movie on a plane, that is probably not my goto choice. If you want the full power of “2001,” either watch it in an area where you can get some peace and quiet on a decent TV screen or projection wall, or in a theater. I don’t know if we as living creatures will ever get an opportunity to watch “2001” in IMAX ever again. Maybe I will, maybe when it turns 75 or 100 years old, but in all seriousness, being given the chance to witness this masterful work of art in a place having to do with one of my all time biggest influences towards wanting to pursue a career in the film industry is a chance I don’t want slipping past my radar.

Thanks for reading this post! If you have read this and are rather interested in that post I just mentioned, “Going To See 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): A Tale of Two 70s,” I’ll have you know that the link to it is down below, so if you want to check it out, go right ahead! As for new reviews, the future is somewhat uncertain, but there are few things I’m seeking out right now including “The Spy Who Dumped Me,” “The Darkest Minds,” and one of my most anticipated movies of the year, A24’s “Eighth Grade.” Maybe I’ll sprinkle in a countdown somewhere since I haven’t done one in awhile, but seriously, only time will tell what will be happening here. Stay tuned for more great content, be sure to follow me and like this post! I want to know, are you planning to see “2001: A Space Odyssey” in IMAX? If so, which theater are you setting your eyes on for this? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Going To See 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): A Tale of Two 70s: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/07/17/going-to-see-2001-a-space-odyssey-1968-a-tale-of-two-70s-spoilers/

Going To See 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): A Tale of Two 70s *SPOILERS*

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Hey everyone! Jack Drees here! The last number of weeks have been wild. Not just here on Scene Before, but I mean life in general. From learning to drive, to dealing with college, to being invited to a pre-release screening and accepting an invitation for the first time, to going to see my first double feature in a theater, to perhaps one of the most infuriating and crap-induced days of my entire life, vacations, family reunions, and everything has just been stacking up on my schedule like pancakes at IHOb. That’s right! IHOb! Apparently someone thought it was so brilliant to switch the last initial of IHOP. The new initial by the way, happened to be “burgers.” The International House of Pancakes, has now become the International House of Burgers. IHOP is synonymous with breakfast in the same way that Sprint is synonymous with *muffled voice*

GUY ON OTHER END: Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you.

ME: Oh, sorry, let me try going into another room!

*Footsteps*

ME: OK, let’s try this again, where were we?

GUY: Something about IHOP.

ME: Oh, right, thanks!

IHOP could have gone with several names for their replacement initial if they wanted to stick to having a “b!” Bacon! Breakfast! Buttermilk! And as weird as it sounds, Belgians! Seriously! International House of Belgians! That… The more I think about it… Kind of has a ring to it. Or, what if the “b” was so random that it had nothing to do with food whatsoever? Imagine the name change being International House of Butts. I think smoking is usually frowned upon at IHOb, but you have butts that get right into the restaurant and eventually land in a seat! What about International House of Balls? Because it takes balls to go to a diner and eat pancakes with fake syrup. Or even more random, what if the “b” is for a person’s name? IHOP could become the International House of Bob. Maybe the International House of Bianca? That not good enough? What about the International House of Becky? Still not satisfied? Why not settle for the International House of Barry? Everyone will come in, desperate to ask an employee, “Who the hell is this wacko named Barry?” And maybe if your name is Barry, you’ll get your entire meal half-priced! If you are a FAMOUS Barry, your meal is free! That’ll bring all the Barrys in! Barry Trotz! Barry Williams! Barry Manilow! Now is your time to be the best Barry you can possibly be! After awhile, IHOP learned their lesson and changed their name back to what it originally was, but this just felt like a natural disaster! Screw whatever s*it went down in “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” allow me to introduce Hurricane Burger!

Seriously though, this rant is not what you came in for, you came in for something related to “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Over a couple of weeks, I’ve taken two opportunities to go see “2001” in two different movie theaters. Both times, I saw the movie in 70mm, which is the way that many audiences witnessed the film back when it came out. Speaking of that, this print that was shown at both theaters I went to was a photochemical recreation of the original camera negative for the first time since the film’s theatrical run. There are no digital tricks, add-ons, or gimmicks. It’s quite possibly the closest one could get to going back in time and watching this movie in a theater during the year of 1968. During the realization of how this print would ultimately turn out, the whole project was under the supervision of critically acclaimed director Christopher Nolan, who has been a lover of “2001: A Space Odyssey” for a very long time. Nolan has directed films including the “Dark Knight” trilogy, “Memento,” “Inception,” and most recently, “Dunkirk.” He has also created a film with several similarities to “2001,” “Interstellar.” The first presentation of these “unrestored” prints occurred at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, where Nolan received a standing ovation upon being greeted. Warner Brothers went on releasing a number of prints at select theaters, and not all of them have been released yet.

Let me just start off by saying that both experiences of “2001” were absolutely spectacular! I consider “2001” to be one of my all time favorite movies, so naturally I wouldn’t mind watching it anywhere, but the fact that I’ve went out to see it in a theater in 70mm probably brought out the best the film ever had to offer.

Every other time (maybe except one) that I’ve watched the movie “2001,” whether it was start to finish, split into parts, whatever, it was on a Blu-ray disc, and the transfer that “2001” has gotten on that particular disc is not bad whatsoever. I say maybe except one because I’d bet my first viewing was on a DVD. You can see all the necessary details, no colors look all that weird, and the sound is pretty good too. Although for the past couple of viewings, I’ve gotten off my ass, and went into a theater with other people. See guys? I have a life! I can go out of the house every once in a while! And with just enough motivation, I think you can too!

The first time I walked out of “2001” after seeing it in a theater, I don’t think I said this right away, but I can guarantee you that at one point, even if it is days after my experience, I said something along the lines of “THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.” Sounds like you would hear that phrase every now and then. I was born just barely before 2000, but I can imagine back in 1977, when “Star Wars” came out, some people, adults, teens, and children living at that time probably at the very least had that thought in their mind after their first “Star Wars” experience. In 1994, “Toy Story” came out, and when it released, there was not much like it in the animation genre. It blew a lot of minds out of people’s heads and just lead to just about nothing but high appreciation. In fact, this year, in 2018, minds are still being blown. We have just witnessed the culmination of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, “Avengers: Infinity War,” and people are having many emotions towards it. I thought it was a total game changer, not to mention one of the all time greatest movies I’ve witnessed that is based on a comic book due to how the execution of the content the film contained turned out and the way it ended. Even after “Avengers: Infinity War,” my mind is still able to be blown, and with this mind blowing experience, it’s not just amazing because it’s truly unlike anything I’ve ever seen. But it’s also something that I’ve technically seen before, but am now getting to view in a whole new way that feels unique.

Without further ado, let’s talk about both of my experiences in detail!

SOMERVILLE THEATRE, SOMERVILLE, MA (JUNE 3RD, 2018, 12:30 PM):

The first of my two experiences took place at the closest theater to my house where this sort of thing happened to be taking place, the Somerville Theatre. The theater first opened in 1914 and my presentation was in its original auditorium. As far as getting there, I went with my friend by her car on a Sunday afternoon, leaving my home an hour prior to showtime. And since it was Sunday, we were kinda lucky, parking was free. Yay! We get in the theater to realize there actually is a line to get tickets or check in. My friend and I already had our tickets. Then once we grab our tickets, we get into another line on the opposite side of the sidewalk from where we walked in. Continuing our luck, it wouldn’t take that long for us to enter the theater given our distance in line. Once we enter, we grab our seats somewhere towards the rear end, and more luck happened to be on the rise! CENTER SEATS! As we grab our seats, I decide to go on into the lobby because I wanted a popcorn and soda.

I enter the lobby, knowing where the snack stand is because this is not my first time at this theater. As I walked forward, I knew exactly what to order. I ended up getting a large combo which cost less than $10! Holy crap! You know how much I have to pay for a combo like that an AMC? It’s somewhere around $15 to $17! I do it to support the theater and they actually make more money off of food purchases than ticket sales, which is why I don’t bring my own stuff into the theater. But just the other day I was down in Disney World, and they had an AMC on the property, where a large popcorn and a large drink would cost me around $15 to $17, and even when I use a discount which I earned from rewards points, it’s still a good deal, but if I remember correctly, it still cost me more than a large combo at Somerville Theatre WITHOUT rewards points. By the way, both of those combos actually allow you to get free refills. Boom. The guy at the register was really nice too. He complimented on my Cinema Sins t-shirt, and pointed out that everyone who got something at the stand so far in the day, including myself, ordered a large combo. The streak was eventually broken, but it’s still cool to be part of the team! Speaking of broken streaks…

I get back into the theater, and I accidentally enter the wrong row. I’m one row ahead of where I’m supposed to be. So instead of executing my gymnast skills of lifting my legs over a seat, I walk out on the side, like a normal person. Then suddenly, bad luck ensues. Not just for me, but for the poor man whose drink I accidentally spilled. I hear a noise, and this guy say “S*it.” I didn’t know what to do for a second. So it was time to play a game, let’s call it “Somersolve,” the game of solving problems in Somerville, Massachusetts. The objective is to avoid getting into a problematic situation and solve a problem. So, I act calm, and let out my humorous side.

“On the bright side, it’s a free refill.”

The guy who I interacted with seemed to take the situation lightly, my friend offered to spend some money on him toward new refreshments, to which he replied that he’s alright and ended up getting a free refill. Based on my observations, the guy ended up moving to a different seat. By the way, if this guy I’m referring to is reading this, I’m sorry!

Once it’s just about time to begin the action, a guy comes into the theater and starts talking on the microphone. He greets and welcomes everyone, and he states that the projectionist in the booth is considered by numerous people to be “the best in the business,” suggesting that he’s projected “2001” many times. Then the bad luck continued… He goes on to say that a gear on the projector is actually broken, and from what I heard, this happened many hours, perhaps a day or two, prior to my arrival. The projector still works, and the movie is still playable. However, there is a drawback to all of this. During certain points of the movie, the screen will go black for a minute, and the movie will stop. And no, this is not in an intermission type of pause (although the movie did provide one). What would happen is the screen will suddenly stop displaying an image. No sound would be heard whatsoever. And you know what? The guy was gonna make it up to anyone who wasn’t fond of this. If this bothers anyone, they actually get their money back, which is actually not a bad deal because they paid a premium price and maybe they can show they aren’t getting their premium service. Once I heard this, I was worried. What was gonna happen? What scenes were I going to miss? Oh my gosh! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Nevertheless, the speaker had an admirable hint of charm to him, and appeared to be extremely presentable. He also states some of the technical aspects I gave to you all in this post. The Christopher Nolan thing, the original camera negative thing, stuff like that. Once he finishes speaking, everybody begins to clap. It was clear that a good number of people were either really hyped for this experience, they love “2001,” they are enthusiastic about the whole 70mm situation, or clapping is possibly an undiscovered effect of dropping acid. Then, the auditorium returns to the low volume it previously contained. Afterwards, music begins. It’s the overture.

From what I can tell, the overture didn’t even start from the clear beginning. OK, whatever, it’s just the overture, there’s no picture during this moment, I can deal with that. I got to hear over 75% or 80% of it at least. Around the song’s technical halfway mark, I notice the slight dimming of a ceiling light. Once the song comes to a close, almost all of the auditorium is dark, excluding the screen, which has been revealed by the opening of the red curtain, and a few red lights on the walls. Then I see it. The MGM logo. The adventure has begun. We as an audience are then greeted to the famous, masterful, and endlessly parodied opening accompanied by Richard Strauss’s “Also Sparch Zarathustra.” I felt reborn. I almost wanted to clap immediately, but I didn’t want to be the one awkward attendee making everyone question humanity. I already made one person question such a thing when I spilled their drink. One thing I kinda sorta expected from there on out, was silence. Everyone was hypnotized to the screen, including me. I was trying to be respectful and not eat and drink too much for sake of not letting out too much noise. It reminded me of when I went to see “A Quiet Place” and would try to not be as obnoxious as I might be during other movies with my drink, and literally dissolve popcorn by use of my tongue. The screen demanded my full attention. When the movie started, and as it progressed, I did notice a slight difference in color when it comes to various shots. I didn’t consider it a bad thing, in fact compared to my Blu-ray, I think it truly captures the retro feel that maybe you’d want out of a movie like “2001,” and the more I think about it, makes it feel slightly less artificial. It’s not to say that it’s less clear than my Blu-ray, it’s higher in quality. Blu-rays go up to 1080p, and I have a player that can upscale those kinds of discs to near 4K quality. When it comes to 70mm, 4K is 70mm’s meal for breakfast. Now, let’s get to what could have been the worst part of the experience, had we been ripped off.

As mentioned, we were told that there would be short pauses during our presentation, which will eventually lead to the return of the movie playing. I was worried, I didn’t want to complain too much, then it happened. Around the “voiceprint identification” scene, the screen goes black, and the auditorium is almost in complete darkness. And since we were told about this, nobody really complained! I was thinking that we were going to miss a segment of the movie, and that point would be Floyd talking to his daughter while simultaneously wishing her a happy birthday. Nope! We didn’t really miss anything! Yippee! What a relief! This happened a couple more times during the screening. The first one being one of the earlier scenes on the ship introducing Dave, Frank, HAL, and the hibernating scientists. When that occurred, I turned to my friend, and tried to vocalize myself at a volume at which others in the auditorium could possibly hear me, asking, “What the HAL?” Nobody cracked, and based on what I could tell, she could correct me eventually considering she reads this and we see each other every once in a while, but my friend must have thought I was taking myself seriously and said “hell.” I tried to make sure I was coming off in the proper way so I told her what I was trying to say. The next pause occurred towards the climax of the film, and I have to say it may have been the PERFECT break. I say this because it’s right in between the Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite Sequence, and the last spoken line of dialogue in the movie given in the HAL control room.

One thing I was super excited for was the scenes in space. I will probably rave until I die about my experience watching “Interstellar,” a movie with many similarities to “2001,” one of them being that both movies heavily take place in space. Seeing the jumpcut from the bone to the satellite (TOTALLY A NUCLEAR MISSILE) started to make me smile like I had just realized I won a million dollars on “Deal or no Deal.” As I progressed through this first moment with The Blue Danube playing in the background, I think the girly part of me kicked in and I wanted to cry. If you told me I went to an enormous and epic opera house in space, I would have believed you. Speaking of the Blue Danube, one of the conveniences of sitting towards the back of the theater is getting to see all of the action from those upfront, and there’s this scene where you see a guy reading instructions on how to use a zero gravity toilet. It just shows how much we have to relearn what we already know how to do on Earth in space. Towards the front, there were a couple guys chatting and one that I assume was talking about exactly what I’m referring to. We may have gotten far as a society, but it is still our duty to learn how to poop in space. Yay, humans!

One thing that occurred in both Somerville Theatre and the second cinema I want to talk about is something near and dear to my heart.

“2001” to me is an interesting movie when it comes to sound. It has a soundtrack that’s big and loud, and yet there are several moments in the movie, mainly in space where you hear, LITERALLY NOTHING. Hey, I’m not complaining! That’s scientifically accurate! I love the big and loud soundtrack, which when I saw the movie at Somerville, brought an immersive, not to mention symphonic feeling to the auditorium. But there’s one noise in the movie, while I still am technically fine with having it in there in the first place, that I JUST. CAN’T. STAND. A bunch of astronauts are on the moon together, observing the monolith in front of them. Then, it’s picture time! One astronaut is trying to align a bunch of other astronauts together in front of the monolith and take their picture. In the process, this loud screech comes out of nowhere. It’s ear-piecing to the tenth degree! And I don’t just mean that for those around the monolith, but also for me. My friennd was covering her ears too! I have sensitive ears, and there are a lot of noises that I’ll surprisingly get by in a movie theater, but that is something which I had to survive.

One of the best parts of my Somerville experience is HAL’s last moments, which was a hint of preparation for my second experience which I will touch upon. I got some surprising reactions during my experience. The most surprising one I’ve gotten up to this point is probably the collective laughter towards Floyd’s daughter wanting a bush baby for her birthday. Then, we get to the final moments of HAL. Dave enters the ship through the emergency airlock, you can hear him breathing. Then we hear HAL, say the following lines in chronological order, starting with the earliest:

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?”

“Dave, I really think I’m entitled an answer to that question.”

“I know everything hasn’t been quite right with me. But I can assure you now, very confidently, that it’s going to be alright again.”

“I feel much better now. I really do.”

“Look, Dave. I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think that you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and talk things over.”

I mean, sure, a computer telling someone to take a stress pill is a bit out of the ordinary, that can work as comedy. In fact, when I walked out of one of these experiences, I said that I always thought that maybe the highest form of comedy I found in “2001” happened to be the part where the apes first use the bone as a weapon. These unexpected reactions however were not distracting, it was just a bunch of people enjoying themselves and having a good time. The one thing that disappointed me however is that with all of these reactions of laughter towards HAL, not one was given towards him singing “Daisy.” It’s a complete change of pace and it’s just funny seeing an electronic sing! It’s like seeing Edna Mode from “The Incredibles” go on “American Idol!” I almost wanted to start laughing at that moment, but just like what I said about the intro, I wanted to avoid being the awkward guy in the auditorium.

Then came what possibly might be the best part of the movie, the stargate sequence. This is a moment where the auditorium’s sound system just BOOMED. I’m not gonna go too much into it, because there’s some nifty stuff I want to save for the next experience, but it was awesome. The end came, and so did applause. I probably stood out the most when it came to the applause. I was literally standing up applauding. Some clapped, some wooed, but I stood up with my hands bouncing off each other. I had a great experience that is difficult to describe in words. It may have been bumpy, but I wouldn’t have traded this time at the theater for anything else.

I had such a great time, and I would easily put it in my top 10 best movie theater experiences. But the thing is, I wanted more… Before I went to Somerville Theatre to see “2001,” I asked my dad if he wanted to go, but he couldn’t make it. Nothing against him, a guy’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. Nothing against my friend either, I really enjoyed my time with her. But, I figured this would be something I wanted to do again, and I had a chat with my dad on the phone. I told him about my experience, describing it as “epic,” which it was, that is, if my experience could be described in words. He stated at one point he was jealous that I got to go to this. That gave me an idea. I REALLY wanted to see the movie in 70mm again, and I think my dad wouldn’t mind doing something like this. Father’s Day was slowly, but steadily approaching. While Somerville Theatre was scheduled to show “2001” for two weeks until it goes away, another nearby theater has yet to show their 70mm prints of the movie. I told dad I’d buy tickets for this show, I’d pay for it, and the experience would be on me. That wasn’t really true, my dad paid for train transportation and dinner, although I had money and tried to keep him from paying, but I paid for the tickets at least, not to mention the food I purchased for myself at the theater.

COOLIDGE CORNER THEATRE, BROOKLINE, MA (JUNE 17, 2018, 7:00 PM)

When going to my second experience, I had no idea what I was in for. I was well aware that the theater was going to have some similar architectural aesthetics to Somerville, based on images I’ve seen online. The experience was actually a tad more expensive than Somerville, which makes sense since I’m seeing this in the evening as opposed to the early afternoon. I may have jumped on the wagon a tad early, buying tickets for this experience as soon as possible. Little did I realize, sometime after purchasing tickets, Somerville would have extended their run of “2001” for a week. Knowing Somerville, the experience would have been cheaper. But I didn’t care, because this brings a breath of fresh air. And I mean that in a literal sense because I went to the Somerville Theatre a couple months prior to the “2001” event, also for another 70mm experience. This second 70mm “2001” viewing was my first time at the Coolidge Corner Theatre. I was pretty amped. This theater is actually younger than Somerville. First established in 1933, the Coolidge Corner Theatre is widely considered one of the best movie theatres in New England.

I left alongside my father and sister approximately three hours prior to showtime. I felt this would allow us to guarantee a higher possible chance of earning decent seats. We ended up going to the closest subway station to my house on the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority, AKA the MBTA, AKA the T, AKA the place numerous Bostonians go to as much as Dunkin Donuts. I planned this, considering I was the one behind the wheel, and my excuse, “trains are awesome.” So we get off at our designated stop, my sister and father don’t really have any sort of preference on where to eat. But I did have a place in mind considering I’ve done extended research.

There were multiple restaurants in Coolidge Corner, but the one that attracted me the most was a place nearby that goes by the name of Oath Pizza. They have multiple locations in Massachusetts and having seen footage of them on the New England exclusive restaurant tour show, “Phantom Gourmet” I was eager to check them out due to how much boasting was given towards their “90 second pizza oven.” Keep in mind, that 90 second thing, is likely just for the oven’s actions. But you know what? Doesn’t matter, the pizza was a delight. Because I’m boring, I got the “classic cheese.” My sister got a make your own pizza of some sort. Dad however, came to play. It’s father’s day. He can order whatever he wants. While some may be tempted by the “spicy mother clucker,” and I’m willing to bet maybe he was too, he didn’t go for that. Instead, he went for the whole hog. I mean, it had smoked bacon and sausage. In his worldview, that’s my father’s version of not going wrong. The place had a Chipotle kinda feel considering they brag about their dedication to natural ingredients, not to mention the place was rather small and a little more upscale than your typical fast food chain restaurant such as McDonald’s or Burger King. The pizza from what I heard was actually rather crunchy, and what I heard was definitely correct. The more I think about it, it’s a better version of the pizza Pringles.

Once finished, we had more than an hour to waste before the movie. If I remember correctly, I believe we picked up our tickets prior to doing anything else. So while my father and sister have no idea what they want to do, I automatically declare to everyone that we’re trotting over to GameStop, because there’s one nearby. But that ultimately backfired. It’s Sunday. The store closes at 6PM, so we couldn’t go in. We pass by the Brookline Booksmith, which I’ve been inside, and it is rather nifty, but none of us really chose to go in today. We do some walking, and I notice a comic book store. My minor nerdgasm starts to kick in. I’m attracted, and everyone follows me towards it. But once again, we’ve fallen into the Sunday trap. That store was scheduled to close at 6PM as well. With almost nothing to do, we are almost left stranded in the middle of Coolidge Corner, possibly just inevitably waiting outside before we can actually go into our auditorium. But then, a miracle happens. The miracle of CVS. We go in and just start making fun of everything. The biggest standout is whatever we could say about medicine. My sister eventually got somewhat intimidated to the point where my father thought we were overstaying our welcome. Fun fact by the way, this is not the only CVS that’s less than a two or three minute walk away from the theater! We were in the closer one, if you want any specification.

We are let in the theater around somewhere between thirty to ten minutes before scheduled showtime. The seats were pretty much the same scenario as last time. We were towards the center of our row near the back. I go get myself some popcorn and a soda, and I experience something that I’ve never witnessed in a movie theater before. No battle of the soda corporations. That’s right! For the first time ever, I enter a theater that has neither Coke or Pepsi! When I was at Oath Pizza, they had no “traditional soda,” they instead had Stubborn soda, but the closest thing I can find to “traditional soda” was probably root beer. On the menu at Coolidge Corner Theatre, I find “cane soda” and “diet cane soda.” I ask the employee at the register if the diet cane soda is like Diet Coke, to which I remember the person giving some answer that relates to “yes.” I end up getting that. While the price for my large popcorn and soda was more expensive than Somerville, it certainly isn’t a price I’d complain about. The popcorn was nice and fresh, but the soda was something I really had to get used to. From what I imagine upon further research, it must taste like the Coke you’d drink in somewhere like Mexico, because that has cane sugar. But what do I know? I’m an American who recently graduated from high school, and according to everybody else in the world, our education system is crap, so what do I know?

One thing that kind of surprised me about the theater in Coolidge Corner and was slightly different than Somerville, was that there was music playing inside the theater. It wasn’t “2001” based or anything, it was just regular music. Although during my first time in Somerville there was “Back to the Future” music blasting inside the theater. To me, that made sense, because the movie I was seeing, “Ready Player One,” happened to have “Back to the Future” playing a huge part in it. Similar to Somerville, we get a guy coming in the theater, who speaks to everyone near the screen. He also lectures us on the specs of the print we’re about to witness, warns us of an intermission that will be taking place, luckily it’s only one and intentional this time, and he even goes on advertising other stuff related to the Coolidge Corner Theatre which sounded interesting personally. He warns everyone to enjoy the show, and then applause ensues. I’m willing to bet that *maybe* I was the one who started the applause. We are just about to start the movie, I was ready. After about a minute of preparation, I heard the noise of glory. The overture. And you know what? I could actually hear the whole thing this time!

When it came to the overture, And in terms of lighting, it was slightly different than Somerville. For one thing, the dimming began rather early. And the whole auditorium didn’t go black instantaneously, it was a lot darker in Coolidge Corner than it was in Somerville. Most of the lights went off, but a couple were on, most noticably two lights on opposite sides of the stage, shining on the red curtain. Fun fact by the way, for those who don’t know, the overture song is called “Atmospheres,” and atmospherically speaking, Coolidge Corner wins against Somerville in my book. Coolidge Corner’s lightshow, or in this case, darkshow, felt like it could be choreographed in my imagination, but the one in Somerville came off as a tad clunky. But whatever, it’s not even the main course of the movie, it’s just the appetizer. Throughout the overture, my dad turned over to me, and actually asked if I got this thing in Somerville as well. I replied saying, “yes.” It was go time. Almost all the lights, except some side ones, were soon completely off. The curtain opened. The famous introduction began. I was in full focus mode.

This time, I was a little more conservative when it came to my popcorn and drink. Sure, I mentioned my drink was tough to have at times because it’s a bit different to consume than what I usually get at the movies, although still tolerable. Not to mention, unlike Somerville, I heard nothing about a free refill. Doesn’t matter to me, I’m here for the movie. Even if your movie is called “The Emoji Movie,” chances are I’m at the theater for the movie.

Once the movie starts, I begin to notice the color differences once again. We get to the first monolith scene with the apes, and while it’s very intriguing and hypnotizing, I’m noticing something that’s different, and that is the sound. There was moment during the song that plays in that scene. It didn’t have as much of a vibration effect in the auditorium. No big deal, the sound is still spectacular and probably superior to anything I’d watch at home. And you know what? I looked online and noticed some different speaker placements, so maybe that contributed to it. Either that, or maybe the volume was higher on one system compared to another. Part of it may have to do with seating arrangements as well. Because all of the seats at Coolidge Corner are in one designated area. Although with Somerville, as mentioned, the seating arrangements include an orchestra section and a balcony section. The speakers are more in an upsey-downey fashion as opposed to a straight line.

Once we got to the first scene in space, I was once again instantly reminded of how majestic “2001” truly is. Noticing the first shot with the satellite as the camera moves towards Earth is nothing short of beauty in an image. One thing I noticed is that the audience in my theater wasn’t exactly as talkative as the one prior. That can be a good thing if you want to focus on the movie, but if you want an unexpectedly fun experience, it’s gotta have the audience laughing at stuff you don’t expect to be laughable, which is what I got at Somerville. Unlike Somerville, nobody at Coolidge Corner seemed to laugh at the “bush baby” wish. Although one thing that both experiences had in common is that both times the call between Floyd and his daughter ended, there would be a price showing up on the screen. Once the charge is on the screen, some laughs ensue.

One thing I also noticed about Coolidge Corner that gives it a boost in points against Somerville, is that the image is a lot smoother. And when I say that, I’m not talking about it in terms of the images displayed. Those are pretty similar in terms of overall motion. But if anything, this is more of a comment towards the projection. There’s one scene in particular during the movie as I watched it in Somerville that I began to notice something odd. After the conference which Floyd gives a speech, we cut to a set of establishing shots in space. Throughout, I’m noticing the images jumping up and down. Why is this exactly? I don’t know. I wouldn’t consider that an issue, because it doesn’t necessarily interfere with the experience, but it’s just something I noticed. At Coolidge Corner, there seemed to be none of that interference through the whole film. This is just a part of why I gotta give more points to Coolidge Corner in the atmospheric category when it comes to showing this film.

Then we get to the part of the film that I’m willing to bet my dad was highly anticipating, because that’s the part where our main characters are introduced. This made me realize that to certain people, HAL is more than an evil supercomputer trying to take over a spaceship. When it comes to people like my dad and he thinks about HAL, there’s a good chance that my dad is thinking about how funny HAL is. In fact, I don’t think there’s even one person I know currently that would probably laugh at HAL in this movie as much as my father. I mentioned in Somerville that a bunch of people were dying laughing towards the end of the movie because of some of the stuff that HAL says, but my dad pretty much laughed at HAL for the entirety of his screentime. There are certain times during the film where HAL is talking, just saying things such as pointing out how foolproof he is. My dad just starts cracking up. Did it annoy anyone? I’m not entirely sure. In fact, if it did annoy other people, let me just have you know, it was Father’s Day, let my dad have his fun. Speaking of HAL, I can say watching the movie in the theater definitely has its perks. As far as watching this film from beginning to end, I’ve watched this movie in school off of a projector. It was pretty good quality, I wouldn’t say I have any complaints about it. All of the other times have been on a Blu-ray disc played on my 43″ 4K TV. The images are upscaled to near-4K quality. A 43″ TV is decent sized product for where I use it, and the images have always come off pretty crystal clear. I always appreciate the movie’s huge scope every time I watch it. Watching the film in 70mm however, allowed me to notice the little things. For the first time in recent memory, I was literally able to observe the label “HAL 9000” above the red eye located on the computer’s monitor. I watched the movie once more after seeing it in Coolidge Corner, and having this information locked in my head, it made me try to focus really hard on the HAL 9000 label once I got to the point where it could be seen.

We get to the intermission, and I see the white text come up, signifying that normal people can get up, go to the bathroom, grab some food, stretch, those sorts of things, while the abnormal go outside and drop acid in preparation for the stargate sequence. When I was at this screening of the film, I noticed that everyone didn’t really react to the intermission. The best way I can describe the atmosphere that maybe everyone felt in the theater was some sort of jaded-like feel. For some reason when I went to Somerville, some people felt the need to clap and cheer once seeing the intermission warning pop up. Here, it was quiet. I find the audience reactions here to be expected, and I do respect them because it just shows that everyone knows not to be chaotic. Although while the reactions at Somerville for the intermission happened to be quirky, I also found them to be rather charming. I didn’t even get up from my seat during the intermission, I just turned on my phone for a sec, browsed through some things, and turned it back off.

The overture begins again… Atmospheric as ever. I was amped like you wouldn’t believe. The curtain soon opened and the feature presentation resumed. Soon, you see Frank’s death. My dad once again stood out among the audience, and nobody seemed to give a flying f*ck. As Frank began to struggle, my dad uttered, “Bye, Frank.” This is during a scene where there is barely any sound whatsoever, which if this were not the case, I don’t think his remark would have had as much charm behind it. I always found this scene interesting though, and this interest has grown significantly over these past couple of watches. Even though one of the movie’s main characters is dying, and it’s a pretty big death for the movie, nobody really reacts to it. There may be reasons behind that though. For one thing, it happens in a near-silent set of clips. Another point to consider is that this movie is fifty years old and there’s a good chance everybody knows exactly what to expect at this point of the film. When I saw “Avengers: Infinity War,” people basically didn’t even know what to think at certain points of the film when certain major characters died. That’s most likely because of the buildup these characters had prior to dying and we’ve gotten more time to know them. Plus, I imagine a good number of people didn’t see certain deaths coming. Nobody was scared of Frank dying in “2001.” Maybe some people didn’t see it coming, maybe some did, who knows really? But still, we didn’t really get to know Frank to such a high extent. While Frank’s overall character development was at a low level, I wouldn’t say it needed to be built, and I think that’s part of the genius that goes into “2001.” You get to know people, but you don’t need to see them grow or observe their backstory to care about them. It’s almost like “Dunkirk” but with less characters and a bit more detail behind certain characters.

Then we arrive at one of my dad’s absolute favorite parts of the movie, HAL’s death. While there was not as much noise that could be heard like there was in Somerville, there were definitely some audible laughs. My dad was definitely part of the laughing crew. I could tell this was one of my dad’s favorite parts of the film because he and I were quoting it on the way home.

Now I mentioned the stargate sequence in my section about Somerville, but I really want to talk about it here. I honestly had a slightly better and perhaps more memorable experience at Coolidge Corner during the stargate scene than I did in Somerville. Don’t get me wrong, Somerville was AWESOME. But one thing that stuck out to me during that scene more than any other during the movie, although if I remember correctly, may have been noticeable in others, is that part of the image, specifically towards the bottom, is off the screen. I noticed this as soon as we get to the first shots of Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite with the monolith. Coolidge Corner didn’t seem to have that same flaw. In both experiences, I just got ecstatic as the music built up. Everything was established, except for the stargate. Then we get this haunting, unbelievable, f*cked up, melt your face off, not to mention exhilarating vocalization from the chorus! It’s like I was walking into the mind of Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons!” It was like watching a Nicolas Cage movie and it’s nothing but kick-ass dream sequences! It was like going on MySpace today in 2018 and suddenly realizing it became the most popular form of social media in one night! I felt like I was having an orgasm! My dad was on a totally different thought process than I was. I always thought of the stargate sequence as a simple trip, or a journey through a wormhole and other things mish-mashed along the way, once I walked out of the theater alongside the other two people I came along with, my dad told me he thought of the video game “Rock Band” during the stargate sequence. All the colors and wild occurrences that can be witnessed throughout is what made him create that link. If you ever listen to the music during this scene, you’d be aware that the overture song is actually playing throughout portions of the sequence. The overture itself is epic when hearing it in the theater by itself before the movie starts playing, but during this scene, I was almost convinced I was in the movie. It felt like it was being played at a different volume, a different pitch, it was a whole new level of immersion and adventure. That stargate sequence, alone, is worth the price of admission. It’s to this day one of the wildest things I’ve witnessed in a movie, and I’d probably put it in maybe top 10, 20, 30 movie sequences I wouldn’t mind being forced to watch for the rest of my life.

As soon as we get to the credits, a lot of people in the theater start applauding. I don’t go to the extent that I did at Somerville where I stand up, but I did clap. As I left the theater, I got a peak into the projection booth, I noticed the film reels spinning and I couldn’t help but point it out to my sister and father. My father enjoyed the experience, you all know my thoughts on it, but what about my sister’s? Turns out this was her first time watching “2001” from start to finish, and personally, a 70mm experience such as this is one of the best ways to do it. Her thoughts on the film as a whole? From what I could tell, I wouldn’t say she didn’t enjoy it, but she found it somewhat hard to get through. For one thing, there’s a lot happening, a lot of information to be processed. Another factor that contributed is that the whole experience of getting through the movie was about three hours. I was personally wide awake. I happened to be taking on a grand opportunity to watch a great movie with people I admire in a setting that is difficult to acquire at times. In those moments, I may have handed my dad the most selfish Father’s Day gift I’ve ever given to him, but based on the time we had, it was all worth it.

Thanks for reading this promised, delayed, and perhaps long-winded thing some people might call a post! I really wanted to get this out earlier, but due to a lack of time and motivation, I screwed up. You might ask, what about the movie reviews? My movie reviews are basically the building blocks of Scene Before. This is why you haven’t seen that many countdowns lately, the only ones I’ve done so far this year are my top 10 best and worst movies of 2017. Because my main purpose behind this blog is to review movies, and I feel like that is something that can easily be associated with Scene Before. This post you’re reading right now, is just a special, rare gem, buried beneath the ground, ready to be revealed around the world. Now going back to business, I do want to review the movie “Eighth Grade.” This has already released in a couple markets, but not everywhere. I tried getting passes for an early screening, but I just got an email saying the screening was full so I can’t go. Although if I can see it when it comes out, I’ll definitely be sure to review it! I’m also going to be probably seeing something I’d tell you some time ago that I’d never see, but due to my mother’s interest in it and the fact that it’s playing at an awesome local IMAX theater, I’m planning on checking it out anyway. That movie by the way, is “Mamma Mia!: Here We Go Again!” And based on the reviews I’m seeing for “Mission: Impossible: Fallout,” you can guarantee I’ll be checking that out as soon as time will allow. Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, what are your thoughts on “2001: A Space Odyssey?” Did you get to ever see the movie in 70mm? Will you take advantage of such an experience in the future? Leave your answers to those questions below, and speaking of questions and answers… My dad who came along with me for the second experience gave the answer to the question, “What is the opposite of infinity?” The answer, the number of times my dad will go to IHOb! And based on the results of that campaign, you can sure bet that number will last forever! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Tag (2018): The “It” Movie of the Year!

Before we start this review of “Tag,” let me just have you know that I here at Scene Before have been truly grateful to create content to whatever portion of my audience still continues to follow me. And you may or may not know with this post, I have hit a milestone. This “Tag” review you’re reading right now is my 200th post (not counting one that was deleted)! This news of having two-hundred posts almost slipped under my radar. And you know what? I like you all, so I gotta do something for ya in return. I won’t exactly say what it is, but stay tuned, it’s a surprise! Be sure to look out for my NOT EXACTLY 200TH POST SPECIAL coming soon!

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“Tag” is directed by Jeff Tomsic and stars Ed Helms (The Office, Vacation), Jake Johnson (New Girl, Jurassic World), Annabelle Wallis (Annabelle, X-Men: First Class), Hannibal Buress (Neighbors, The Secret Life of Pets), Isla Fisher (Now You See Me, Rise of the Guardians), Rashida Jones (Parks and Recreation, The Social Network), Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Law Abiding Citizen), along with Jon Hamm (Mad Men, The Town), and Jeremy Renner (The Avengers, The Bourne Legacy). This film is about a bunch of friends who have been playing tag with each other since the first grade. Now they’re all adults, and one has a wedding coming up. This person has never been “it.” Everybody else is coming for him, and he’s not gonna let that get in his way. Did I mention this is based on true events?

Going into this movie, I gotta say this was really something I was truly looking forward to. This is a comedy based on true events, and it seemed to have itself center around friendship. One of my favorite movie trilogies ever, “Lord of the Rings,” nails its friendship theme, and naturally, I had some hopes for “Tag.” In reality, both pieces of art are very different when you take their ultimate results, but I figured this would be a movie that’s not only funny, but also just a message to remind yourself how important having friends truly is. I was also wondering if in terms of my overall verdict if this could compete with another movie I saw this year that has truly grown on me, “Blockers.” And you know what? When it comes to my thoughts on “Tag,” it’s certainly a fine competitor to “Blockers!” In fact, as of now, I’d probably have to think about this hard, “Tag” is quite possibly the best comedy of 2018! And without diving too much into spoilers, I’m gonna start off with a complaint that I seriously want to get out of the way.

If you know me, you’d know that I HATE product placement. There are times where I think it is fine, but for the most part, it blows. I will say though, the best part of this movie, is that there is only one instance of product placement that stuck out to me, and it is at the VERY BEGINNING of the film. As soon as that is over, the film is a laugh-filled thrill ride from start to finish. This movie is what happens when you take “The Disaster Artist” (comedy based on true events), combine it with “Premium Rush” (movie involving fast-paced thinking from characters), and put the two in a blender with “Wedding Crashers” (movie where wedding plays importance in story). In fact, when it comes to the overall way this movie was told (genre, pacing, etc), it’s hard to think of a better way that it could have been done. Is “Tag” realistic depiction of the events shown throughout? I can’t confirm entirely since I wasn’t a witness, however I would lean more towards saying “no” to answer that question. Although in the end, for a movie such as this, it doesn’t really matter, “Tag” allowed me to have tons of fun and absolutely enjoy myself.

There are a ton of characters in this movie, in fact I’m going to argue that there really isn’t one that I would consider to be the “main character.” I would say this film would technically have one sole “antagonist” (Jerry), but when it comes to having a main character, that doesn’t appear to be the case. I say this because in reality, this is more of a team-up of main characters than anything. They’re all after one guy, Jerry, and when you see Jerry, you know he’s ready to fight. I’d say that this film has a similarity to “Avengers: Infinity War,” it focuses a lot on its opposition. It doesn’t go out and make the opposition the main character just like “Infinity War,” but it does go out and highlight the power and unstoppable force of Jerry. When it comes to highlighting someone as a main character, you could make the argument that Ed Helms plays the main character, Hoagie, because he always has his name appear as if it were the most important one on the film’s posters, but I feel that wouldn’t be true because while the movie does revolve around him in one way or another, I’d argue that pretty much every character has their moment to shine.

Now let’s get serious for a moment and talk about Jerry. He’s played by Jeremy Renner, who I’d say plays the worst hero in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but plays one of the best characters in “Tag.” The thing about Jerry in this movie is that throughout each and every May when the friends play tag, Jerry is the one who is never “it.” He’s fast, he’s smart, and will always find a way to get you! Some of the best parts of the movie is when he talks to himself during tag. He’s figuring out whatever plan he can execute, and makes a moment that’s already funny and engaging, doubled in terms of both elements. And you know something? This really just adds a hint of surprise to the film. Jeremy Renner is one of those people I actually consider to be a fine actor, and he usually does a fine job in whatever you put him in. Although, one of my biggest worries going into “Tag” happened to be Jeremy Renner. I say that because I never particularly pictured Jeremy Renner being in a comedy. Although then again I never pictured Ansel Elgort as an action star and look how that turned out! What do I know about actors? Renner’s performance shines and makes the character of Jerry a total standout.

I don’t want to have to talk about each and every character on the team against Jerry, because that would take forever. However, when it comes to all of these characters, they all seem to have their own individual traits that stand out to them as opposed to another character alongside them. One character that truly stood out to me was the character of Anna, played by Isla Fisher. For the record, if you watch the movie, you can’t really say she’s in the game, because as suggested, the rules state that there are no girls allowed. However, there are times where she just acts like the most competitive psycho you’ll ever see in your entire life. I’m just imagining myself playing tennis, and instead of grunting as she returns the ball to the opposite side, she screams “f*ck you” or something. This may be a slight negative towards the movie, although in the way, it’s kind of also a positive, the team doesn’t really feel like it has one character that is supposed to shine more than any other, but at the same time, it can allow you to root more for the team as opposed to one individual part of the team.

One of the most interesting parts of the movie is seeing everyone trying to tag or outrun each other. If you have ever played tag as a kid for fun, let me just say that you have NOT played tag, and this movie will give you some pointers to throw down to your eight-year-old self. One character in this movie goes to the mall, because that’s where Jerry is. To make the character’s self look less obvious, they dress up as an elderly woman. This brings out one of the best combinations of action, narration, and intensity to the entire movie.

I kind of brought this up in the beginning, but I’ll sort of state this again, this movie has a very centralized theme of friendship. These friends have been together for a very long time and they’ve been playing a specific game for a long time. Tag is basically the one thing that is in these folks’s lives that keeps them attached to one another. As we grow up, we start to lose a connection with our own friends that we’ve known as kids, it’s just a natural thing that occurs. But these people keep in touch with each other in such a way that triggers a sense of nostalgia and togetherness. This movie does a good job at highlighting the importance of friendship while still maintaining a mood that you’d still traditionally find in a comedy. The very thing I just mentioned is why this is a true competitor at this point for “best comedy of 2018,” because this isn’t really just a funny comedy, it feels like a real story with real people (with exaggerated thoughts and emotions), and that may be because this is based on a true story.

In the end, “Tag” is definitely worth your time and money. Given what most people would say, “Tag” is unlikely to win the box office on its opening weekend against “Incredibles 2,” but I can guarantee you that it will very likely take the second place spot. And you know what? This movie is worth the money! Not only is it a great comedy, it’s a great story! I really enjoyed “Tag,” I would definitely go out to Best Buy and buy it when it comes out on home video, and I’m going to give it an 8/10. Also, I find it hilarious that I really like this movie because in my elementary school years, any game involving running or tagging was a game that I particularly didn’t want to play. It’s kinda crazy to me! Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’ll have my review up for “Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol,” which will be my fourth entry in my Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” review series. Also, before I sign off here, I’d like to thank Warner Brothers for the free screening that I got of “Tag,” allowing me to finish this review early for you all. And if you want to see a post which I’ve written prior to going to see “Tag,” the link for it is at the end of this post you’re reading. Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Tag?” What did you think about it? Or, if you’re an adult, what is one way that you and your friends from school years keep in touch? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

SCENE BEFORE IS FINALLY VERY IMPORTANT (FIRST TIME ACCEPTING A PRE-RELEASE SCREENING INVITE): https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/06/03/scene-before-is-finally-very-important-first-time-accepting-a-pre-release-screening-invite/

Adrift (2018): Weirdest Non-Linear Movie Ever?

Before we dive into the sea from our sailboats and talk about the total shipwreck that is “Adrift,” allow me to just introduce to two fish in said sea who once found love. Their names are Paul and Genevieve. The two knew each other for a long time, happened to be relaxing one day, and suddenly decided to have a kid. Unfortunately for the couple, they might as well have suffered some massive shark bites along the way, because as they say, “trying to have a baby is freakin’ hard, man!” This is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a new series on YouTube revolving around the recently mentioned couple as they attempt to have a baby. They eventually realize that having a baby isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and it is for them, possibly harder than RAISING the child. The couple stick and suffer together in tests, procedures, math, sexual activity, and of course, needles. You can find the latest content from the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel and also be sure to subscribe and ring the bell if you haven’t already. Their latest episode actually drifts away from the normal series because as Paul explains in the beginning, the bathroom inside his and Genevieve’s house is being renovated. Instead, they are showing the first movie Paul and Genevieve made together as they attended film school. Be sure to check that out if that’s your thing! Also, speaking of checking things out, be sure to check out the “WTIVF?” website, along with with the show’s social media profiles, including their recently mentioned YouTube channel, where all of their latest content is uploaded! Also be sure to tell them that Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Adrift” is directed by Baltasar Kormákur (2 Guns, Everest) and stars Shailene Woodley (Divergent, Big Little Lies) alongside Sam Clafin (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Me Before You) and is based on a true story, which has a book on it written by Tami Oldham Ashcraft and Susea McGearhart. This true story is about a couple who meet each other, fall in love, and soon find themselves adrift at sea.

I saw this movie yesterday, and for those of you who are reading this the day this post is up, that means you can tell I saw this on Monday, June 4th, 2018. I had some time on my hands, so I figured I’d catch a 12PM show at one of my local theaters. And you know what? It was a nice theater! It’s an AMC, and as far as my area is concerned (eastern Massachusetts) if you are a movie theater that happens to be under the AMC brand name, there’s a good chance I already like you. I like the AMC cinema chain, but I can’t say I like this movie. In all honestly, this is one of the weirdest movies I’ve watched in recent memory. And no, I don’t mean in a Wes Anderson-esque type of way where the movie is an enjoyable quirk-fest like “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” If the movie were enjoyable, I’d be in a somewhat happier state of mind.

Having heard about this movie, I am well aware this is based on both a true story and a book. Going into the movie, I didn’t have complete familiarity with either two parts to this material, so I was heading into the auditorium rather blind. And for those of you who don’t have the brain capacity or IQ to determine what I mean, I say that in a sense of not knowing anything. My sight was still intact. Although with this movie, at times I kind of wanted to not only be blind in a literal sense. But also deaf. Maybe dead too.

You might be asking based on what I’m uttering to you all, “Is this the worst movie of the year?” No. I won’t give my final verdict yet, but it’s not the worst movie of the year. It’s not even the worst movie of the decade. There are still some things I can truly appreciate about “Adrift” so let’s get some positives out of the way before I lose my sanity.

“Adrift,” to my lack of surprise, has extremely well thought out location choices. Most of the movie takes place at sea, so you can often gaze at the beauty of the blue water shown in the film if that’s your thing. Everything fit a rather exotic/sea-like vibe very well. Too bad the movie wasn’t worth SEAing.

Also, to help you at viewing the movie’s locations, there are cameras to assist in that sort of job. The cinematography in “Adrift” was certainly not bad for the most part. Everything was very well shot, not Oscar-worthy or anything, although in some cases I guess it can come close, but it’s very competent and can certainly make you feel like you’re at sea, getting shipwrecked, or jumping into water.

The biggest positive this movie has however is that Shailene Woodley is f*cking awesome. Her lead performance in this movie is everything that this movie needed if all anyone ever appreciated in Hollywood is acting. There were several scenes where Shailene Woodley would speak, yell, commit to some sort of action, and it would be believable. Her character is Tami Oldham, one of the two people who get shipwrecked in the story, and she is a combination of charming, curious, but also scared. This is especially when consider some of the movie’s scenes and one key trait she has that separates her from other people. Turns out she is a vegetarian, and if you’re at sea and you don’t have anything to eat, you’re kind of out of luck.

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Woodley’s co-star, Sam Clafin, plays Richard Sharp. And while Clafin doesn’t necessarily give the worst performance I’ve seen. There are a couple times in this movie that somewhat stick out to me where it almost seems that he’s unenthusiastic or he’s desperately begging for a paycheck, a break, or an opportunity to leave. To be fair though, I heard that shooting days were not the shortest for this movie, plus most of it is at sea. I don’t know for sure, so don’t take my word on this, but maybe Clafin gets seasick real easy. Although, there were just times where instead of feeling like I was watching a professional actor, I felt more like I was watching an employee at the DMV who never acted once in his life, who just wanted a step up from his job so he can get out of his rathole.

Speaking of things people want to get out of, I wanted to get out of this movie! Part of it had to do with perhaps the biggest problem I’ve faced throughout the movie’s entire runtime. You know how some movies are told in a non-linear fashion? Some of my favorite movies do this because in one way or another, it adds to the overall greatness of the product. Here, they go back and forth between the wreck and whatever sort of happenings occur before the wreck. My question about all of this is: Why the f*ck would you do this s*it?

Unlike a number of movies I’ve seen, movies including “Memento,” “Arrival,” “Deadpool,” these are all told in such a fascinating non-linear way that is so brilliant and in ways, makes the movie more engaging. This however, LITERALLY DOES NOTHING FOR THE MOVIE. There’s another movie that’s somewhat similar to this, Disney’s “The Finest Hours,” which released in 2016. That movie, while not good, was told in a very conventional linear order and made the movie stable. If “Adrift” was done in a linear fashion, the movie would have been better! It would have a slightly higher purpose of even existing!

This is not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it is quite possibly the biggest mish-mash of a movie I’ve ever seen. Have you seen the YouTube series “Will It Blend?” It’s a viral marketing campaign where a guy attempts to blend unusual things with a Blendtec blender and see how they turn out. I wonder if the writers had a mindset similar to the ideas of that show, but ultimately, this does not blend.

This almost makes this movie feel like there are just a bunch of random scenes put together. In fact, I actually once watched one review online before going to see the movie, by the way, the reviewer was YouTuber Chris Stuckmann. He talked about the non-linear storytelling and when I heard about this, my hopes for this movie dwindled a bit. But I saw it anyway. He makes a point that this makes you care less about the two leads of the film through the way the story is told. I’m not sure how much better this will be had they gone in linear order, but Stuckmann certainly makes a terrific point that I can side with. Let me ask you something about a different disaster movie/love story. Did “Titanic” need to be told in a non-linear perspective? LET THAT SINK IN. I mean, sure, it kind of was told in a non-linear order since it was all a flashback, but for the most part, you are seeing a story from beginning to end. You care about Jack and Rose in “Titanic” because you see them develop their journeys as characters from beginning to end. And you know what? It’s kind of sad that when it comes to the realm of film that I more care about two fictionalized characters in a real-life disaster shown on screen as opposed to two actual characters in a real-life disaster shown on screen. Just… LET THAT SINK IN.

In the end I gotta say that “Adrift” felt like an extended drift to get through, if you catch my drift. This is one of the most disappointingly odd movies I’ve watched in my entire life. I mean, it has some good things about it, but the negatives seriously outweigh the positives this movie has to offer. I wouldn’t say this is Shailene Woodley’s worst work yet, however, this is one of those movies I will not be coming back to, even if I was stranded at sea, had a working portable DVD player, and a DVD copy of the film. I’m going to give “Adrift” a 3/10. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’m going to have my review up for “Tag” which is in theaters everywhere on Friday, June 15th. I’m going to see it tonight courtesy of Warner Brothers, and I kinda sorta just found out about the movie’s review embargo. While I don’t know the official date quite yet, I won’t be able to review it right after I see it, so there’s a good chance that I won’t be able to give a detailed review until say, sometime next week. I’ll definitely make the review this week, but I’m gonna probably schedule it to be up RIGHT when the embargo lifts.

Also, for those of you who follow or care to know about my personal Twitter (@JackDrees) I made a poll yesterday. I would like to thank the four people who responded to it. I asked you all what I should do for a new post given that that I’ve now seen “2001: A Space Odyssey” in the 70mm format. The top pick was the fourth option, “Combo/other.” So you know what? The majority spoke, and the majority will get what they want!

That’s what I would say if I didn’t know what sarcasm was.

Because out of the two people who said the fourth option was their preference, they both failed at following ONE SIMPLE RULE.

Since character limits are bitches, I stated in the choice “(comment plz),” because I wanted you people to specify what exactly it was that you wanted me to do. Neither of you did. And now for your brutal, deadly, lesson-filled punishment, I’m gonna make the decision myself! It’s my blog, I can do what I want! I have the creative freedom around here! And to add onto the punishment, I will state that I’m not even going to tell what exactly I plan to do! OK… I will say though… I’m kinda still deciding. Something’s coming. It’ll be a surprise. And you’ll find out soon. Be sure to look out for my mysterious “2001: A Space Odyssey” post! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Adrift?” What did you think about it? Or what is the worst movie you’ve seen that has some form of non-linear storytelling? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Scene Before is FINALLY Very Important (First Time Accepting a Pre-Release Screening Invite)

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Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! I’ve got a lot going on here lately on Scene Before. I still have to finish my review for “Revenge,” which by the way, at a point when watching that flick, I paused it in order to make this post as quick as possible. Not to mention I’m seeing “2001: A Space Odyssey” on Sunday in 70mm, which is not my first time watching the movie, but I love it so much that I had to take advantage of an opportunity like this. Not to mention, I still have yet to see “Deadpool 2!” Did I mention I have an “Incredibles” double feature coming up one day before the new “Incredibles” installment releases in theaters? Judging by all of this, I can personally say I have a lot on my plate. It almost feels like parenting. All of these movies are my kids that I have to watch. Speaking of kids, allow me to introduce you to Paul and Genevieve. No, they’re not kids, they’re adults. But they’re having kids! As I’ve gone over bunches of times, they have the phrase “keep effing trying” locked in their minds. They’ve been pushing themselves to the limit. They’ve been through hell and back! This is all explained in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is the new series about the recently mentioned couple, Paul and Genevieve, as they do whatever it is a spider ca–err I mean they can, to have a baby. Unfortunately, the process of making one is a nightmare. This series goes over the various struggles the couple face ranging in areas including sex, math, appointments, and the pieces of crap some people call needles! You can see the latest “WTIVF?” content on YouTube, available on a channel sharing the same name as the series itself! Their latest video features–AH! CRAP! MORE NEEDLES! The couple try to make their injections a bit more interesting than the ones they’ve done in the past. How so? They jam out to music while they stick needles into the other person! A neat idea, and now that I think about it, this is not the first time I’ve seen something like this, because I remember a news story where someone was at the doctor’s office getting a shot and I believe some of the employees start singing Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” while injecting a needle. Anyway, you can find out more info about “WTIVF?” from the show’s YouTube channel, be sure to subscribe and ring the bell, don’t forget about the show’s other social media accounts, along with the show’s personal website. Also be sure to tell Paul and Genevieve that Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

Now you may be reading the title of this post and thinking to yourself, what makes this so important? This blog is a nobody! This guy who might as well be a jackass is a nobody! And speaking of nobody, nobody reads this damn thing! Let me just inform you, yes, my name is Jack and I have an ass. No one really reads this blog all that much. And as far as me or my blog being a nobody, I guess you can kind of say that falls into your last statement which I have just confirmed is true. However, something happened recently that might have just changed my “nobody” status into, “taking names, without kicking too much ass.”

Some time ago, I’ve known that a lot of reviewers I follow get invited to screenings for various movies before they release to the public. Some may be invited to the world premiere, some may go to a theater near them depending on where they live. I figured I’d take advantage of this sort of deal. So I’ve done this under a number of places online. One notable sign up I did was for Warner Brothers. So earlier today, I get an email with the following subject:

“Sign Up for Passes for TAG Today!”

Now if you don’t know what “Tag” is, it’s a comedy about a bunch of friends who have been playing tag with each other since first grade. This is based on a true story, and these folks have basically risked everything in their lives. Relationships, jobs, staying in their part of the country, whatever.

Bear in mind, this is NOT my first time getting an invitation to a screening. I’ve actually been invited to several screenings. I’ve been invited to screenings for films such as “Downsizing,” “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” “Super Troopers 2,” and “Leap!.” Although for one such reason or another, having to do with such factors as timing or distance, I decided to ignore all of these screenings. Then I saw this email, checked the theater, checked the time, and I thought to myself… OK… Don’t get scared. Be a man. Don’t be a dude. I want Drax the Destroyer to say that I’m a man. Then I took my phone and showed the magical message to my mother. She thought this was amazing, and I asked her if she wanted to tag (no pun intended) along (screening had option to bring one guest). She thought something like this would be cool to do, and I immediately claimed two passes.

So this essentially marks a milestone in not only Scene Before history, but also my life. My goal here on Scene Before is to entertain you, get content out as quick as possible while making sure it has quality behind it, and make sure (mainly depending on the occasion) that my content is relevant for reasons having to do with what it contains or the time said content is released. Now that I get to see “Tag” over a week before it opens for special opening shows on Thursday, June 14th, and for all standard shows on Friday, June 15th, my content will probably have more relevance than ever. Most of the movies I review on this blog release at a certain time, and I go see it when it comes out in theaters. There are cases where I’ve done opening Thursday night shows for some movies and quickly uploaded my review the following day. Although in reality, there’s a good chance that some people who read my review have already seen the movie. This is especially when you consider that a lot of people went out to see the movie already on opening night (Avengers: Infinity War, Star Wars: The Last Jedi). I imagine some people just read my blog either because they think I’m a decent person, I’m cool, or they just know who I am. However, what I’m trying to do is build a following among the movie community, the movie fan community, and it is hard. Not only them, but I want a bigger audience in general. I’ve done this for two years and I have slightly over thirty users (email and WordPress) following me, one of which I can tell you is likely to be a spam account. I know a lot of people throughout the span of time have read Scene Before for one reason or another, but regardless of whatever reason you read this, kinda sorta as mentioned, my main goals are to pass time where I enjoy myself, inform others, and entertain people. My sixteen-year-old self who created this blog back in tenth grade would have had been pleased had he realized where this blogging journey would go. How far it’ll take me. I consider this to be one of my personal greatest accomplishments if you ask me.

I also have to say, I don’t know how long this blogging journey will continue. I’m an aspiring screenwriter for movies, director for movies, producer for movies. I have visions. If I end up in any such position where I choke or don’t reach said aspirations, this is what I have. I would love to continue blogging on here for the rest of my life if I could, and maybe, depending on how life goes, and I hate to say this, but how many views or earnings I get from this in the future, it could become a living. I really don’t know and I don’t want to get ahead of myself. However, if I continue getting invited to screenings like these, that only increases the possibility of me of delivering more content to you. And don’t worry, I will do my absolute best to avoid sacrificing quality. Because in a world that contains a bunch of wackos called humans, I want to satisfy, befriend, and entertain those sorts of wackos.

And before I close this off, let me just have you know that this is in no way a sponsorship deal for “Tag,” Warner Brothers (although in all seriousness they’re probably my personal favorite film studio), New Line, or anyone behind the scenes of this movie I’m going to see. If this were a sponsorship for any of these sorts of things, I’d probably have a lot money in my pocket, vault, or Scrooge McDuck bin than I do at the moment. But in case somebody related to what I just mentioned is reading this…

BASED ON TRUE EVENTS (WE’RE NOT KIDDING), the all new comedy from Warner Brothers and New Line Cinema, “Tag,” is in theaters everywhere Friday, June 15th! Rated R! Advance tickets are now on sale!

Also, no offense to a number of you reading this, given what I’ve been saying, as far as the world of movies go, I now may be more important than you. That does not make me better, but that makes me more important. But don’t worry, I will use my importance to both of our benefits and deliver more excellent content!

Thanks for reading this post that I’d thought I’d make just for the heck of it. Today is Saturday, June 2nd (depending on where you live, plus on my end, WordPress time is four hours fast), and that means tomorrow is Sunday, June 3rd, otherwise known as the day I go see “2001: A Space Odyssey” in 70mm film! And just so you know that this is in part thanks to Warner Brothers, not to mention Christopher Nolan, a director who has most of his films distributed by Warner Brothers, so before I go insane let me just get away from this. Although before I do, I must say, Christopher, you rock, you’re my idol, you even made my favorite movie ever, so I love what you’ve done in the past! Also, as mentioned, I said I’d review “Revenge.” I don’t have a date set for when that post will be done. I finished the movie, but given what I have going on this weekend and given this post, next week, I have to literally think of when my post should be all finalized. Stay tuned for more great content! So let me ask you all, how often do you get invited to pre-release screenings? If so, what was your personal favorite pre-release screening that you’ve been to? Let me know down below, and remember, I’m important! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Life of the Party (2018): 2018’s Mother’s Day Crowd Comedy

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“Life of the Party” is directed by Ben Falcone (What to Expect When You Are Expecting, The Boss) and stars Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, Tammy), Gillian Jacobs (Community, Walk of Shame), and Debby Ryan (Jessie, The Suite Life on Deck). This movie is about a mother and ex-wife named Deanna, and I say ex-wife because the movie kind of kicks into gear once the character’s husband asks for a divorce. Deanna eventually thinks it would be reasonable for her to go back to college and complete her quest to getting a degree.

“Life of the Party” is undoubtedly the biggest movie of the weekend trying to stop “Avengers: Infinity War” from getting any more money out of the pockets of viewers. By the way, if this movie wanted to go for #1 this weekend, a number of us box office investigators would say nope, that’s not happening. Ever heard of China? Big country, tons of people live there. “Avengers: Infinity War” just hit theaters there, so Disney is only gonna get richer from here. I will say speaking of which, if there were one movie between this and “Infinity War” that I would choose to watch, prior to going into this one or the other for the first time, I’d say “Infinity War” and thus continue Disney’s quest to becoming another group of rich snobs that won’t reveal the cure for cancer. I say this because this movie looked like it was going to be nothing except a lazy attempt on cashing in on the name Melissa McCarthy, not to mention, cashing in on the name “Mother’s Day.” The trailers had no jokes I liked, except for one which I may be biased about because it has to do with “Star Wars,” and this movie is directed by the same guy who directed “Tammy,” also starring Melissa McCarthy. That’s a movie which I didn’t see, but having known about it, I’m glad I avoided it.

“Life of the Party” was never my most anticipated movie of the year. Personally, it’s pretty hard for me to hype up a comedy because they’re usually all the same or we’re just running out of new funny material. When it comes to some of the content shown during the film, you do get that typical Hollywood studio comedy feel you might get out of a number of other movies. Sometimes that feel can be provided in a decent movie, such as last month’s “Blockers,” or it can be total trash like in last year’s “Snatched.” And honestly, when it comes to this movie given how I’ve now watched it, I gotta say I wish I never set my eyes upon it! This is probably one of the worst comedies I’ve seen throughout the span of the decade!

My gosh, have you ever wanted to go blind so bad that you wanted to take two 9mm pistols and shoot em at your eyeballs? There was a point where I wanted to do that so f*cking bad during this goddamn piece of crap! And now that I’m sitting here and I have other things to think about, I wouldn’t mind doing that in a garbage bin, full of trash, with a group of flies going around said bin, while on fire! I’m not gonna give my final verdict yet, it’s a bit too early for that, but I’m gonna warn you all, this is currently my worst movie of 2018 thus far!

Remember how I mentioned this movie is competing against “Avengers: Infinity War?” One thing that helps both movies a little bit is that they’re being advertised towards different kinds of people. “Avengers: Infinity War” is more for action lovers, comic book junkies, and anyone who has been following the universe it contains for a long time. “Life of the Party” is marketed towards mainly those of mature age, and its overall main points to deliver are the following:

  1. Moms are cool, spend your mother’s day weekend watching this.
  2. Come for the laughs.
  3. What was that again? It’s Mother’s Day! What other time are you gonna see this?

Let’s take a look at point 2. This movie is supposed to be a comedy. And sure, it does have some laughs. I was in a nearly full auditorium with a high number of people who seemed to be enjoying themselves while watching this. They were laughing a crapton more than I was for sure. Me? I was just about ready to kill myself. It was just standard humor, you’ve got physical comedy, sex jokes, Melissa McCarthy playing herself despite having a different look to her, and whatever other little thing could be injected into a piece of crap such as this to make me want to go jump off a cliff. “Avengers: Infinity War” is funnier than this! Hard to believe me when I say that now isn’t it? “Avengers: Infinity War” isn’t even a comedy! It has humor in it, sure, but it IS NOT a comedy! I may be biased because on paper, if I haven’t seen either this movie or that movie, I’d go see “Avengers: Infinity War” before “Life of the Party” just from what I know going in. However, if you are LABELED a COMEDY, you have one job. MAKE ME LAUGH. Did I laugh? Sure, I chuckled, made some noises here and there. But when I’m laughing louder than the Wicked Witch of the West during an ACTION movie and making noises like an emotionless android during a COMEDY movie, there’s a problem.

In fact, part of what made the comedy in this movie fail for me is that it was just awkward. It was sometimes just full of cringe and as if nobody truly gave a s*it about what they were doing! Part of the movie’s overall comedy involves Melissa McCarthy being the fish out of water at college due to her age, and if I were a student there, I’d tell her to pipe down and focus! Gosh! No wonder teachers are always trying to shush students!

Speaking of Melissa McCarthy, let’s talk a bit about her character. This character goes by the name of Deanna. Having already established that she and her husband are divorced and she’s in college with her daughter, Deanna actually goes down a route that I kind of didn’t expect for her character, and surprisingly, as much as I’m s*ittalking this movie, I don’t mean that in a bad way. I was somewhat expecting her daughter and her friends to be somewhat embarrassed that Deanna’s in her current position. However, while we do end up seeing that embarrassment from Deanna’s daughter, not to mention other characters at a number of moments, she starts off generally well-liked by the daughter’s social group, and remains that way for the movie’s runtime.

One thing I gotta say about this movie that I’ve yet to say… It’s a roller coaster. And by that I mean, it’s one of the most vomit-inducing rides I’ve had in my entire life. A LOT HAPPENS in an hour and forty five minutes! When I was watching this movie, it felt like it was a large combination of story elements meshed into one product. And honestly, the more I think about this movie, the more I question the very ideas of time and space themselves! This movie, like most comedies, is less than two hours, and the exact runtime is an hour and forty-five minutes. As I watched this movie, I thought it was ten to twenty minutes too long. I was almost convinced that this movie almost makes the two hour mark! Now I’m just saying to myself, make this movie shorter! It has a lot in it! Focus on a shorter amount of story points! I’m getting a f*cking headache! And you know what? I take back everything I just said! I know how to get the PERFECT runtime for this movie! Grab every copy of the script, and put em in a paper shredder, a fire, a recycling bin, let the dog eat every morsel of it, I don’t f*cking care, just eradicate each and every copy! And if the script was originally created online! Delete every trace of it!

One thing that kind of shocks me despite how much I hate this movie is that I could have been a tad more bored. Don’t get me wrong, I was bored as s*it, but compared to other movies I’ve seen, I was able to understand what was happening. I didn’t care about what was happening, I was endlessly regretting my life choices, and there was definitely a point where I checked out, but I could have been more bored. Although I will say, that statement might be saying something because my boredom levels were not low for sure.

I won’t get into spoiler territory, because believe it or not, there are actually people out there who want to check this movie out, but something happens in this movie. It involves a very well known celebrity. I won’t say their name, but this person is revealed to have some sort of link with someone. If this link were in a different movie, I honestly don’t know how I would have reacted. But here, in a moment that might be shocking to some people, I just uttered one word to myself, and that was just a sarcastic “Yeah.”

Also, I gotta mention once again, this movie is kind of typical for a Hollywood comedy, and this movie reminds me of another movie I saw which I thought was “fine” when I saw it, but got so much worse the more I thought about it, and that is “Bad Moms.” The main difference between “Bad Moms” and this movie is that “Bad Moms” involves more than just one mom, and it revolves around moms as a primary point. This movie revolves around one mom in particular, and the rest of the characters are others at college, a celebrity cameo, and folks the main character knows. There are so many things that occur in this movie that also occur in “Bad Moms” that it just makes me ask myself if Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone, the two people who have writing credits for “Life of the Party,” which if you think about it, makes sense since they’re husband and wife, watched “Bad Moms” and thought about slightly remaking it with a plot heavily involving college! Once I saw a scene where the daughter is trying to get the mother to change her look and her outfit, I just questioned my very existence on this Earth. It very much reminded me, although not nearly as much, of how “The Emoji Movie” might as well be a carbon copy of “The LEGO Movie” and “Inside Out!” F*ck this movie!

By the way, not that it’s relevant, but why did “Bad Moms” have to try to convince us that Mila Kunis is ugly? She was #2 on AskMen’s Top 99 Women for 2013, she was Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive in 2012, and she’s been on Maxim’s Hot 100 list more than once! Just askin’, that’s all. I mean, maybe I guess it shows Kunis’s range, but I don’t see her as ugly.

In the end, “Life of the Party” is probably worth putting to death. I don’t think there’s another movie I saw this year that is worse than this piece of s*it. Melissa McCarthy plays herself. The jokes are conventional and unfunny. And after watching this schlock, I… kinda lost the will to live. So, if I die soon, I just want everyone to know, I’d prefer a funeral over cremation or backyard burial, and if any of my close friends or relatives, that includes parents, have more important things to do, it’s all cool. In fact, you don’t have to make it sad and depressing, you can even do a dance party with energetic music as some people go around my casket to symbolize my youth! “Life of the Party” is nothing but a lazy cash-in! It stole my $5 Fandango promo code I won on this year’s Monopoly Collect & Win Game available at several grocery stores, not to mention some of my mother’s money on a card! And before I give my final verdict, why do I always have to go the theater and watch a terrible movie on Mother’s Day? In 2016, I watched “Mother’s Day,” one of the most horribly written cash-ins on a holiday of all time. In 2017, I watched “The Circle,” which wasted the talent of a ton of big actors including but not limited to Tom Hanks, Emma Watson, and Patton Oswalt. This year, it’s “Life of the Party.” Thanks, Hollywood for a wonderful streak! I’m going to give “Life of the Party” a 1/10. Speaking of opinions on this movie, someone on IMDb reviewed the movie and they said it reminded them of the sitcom on “Family Guy” Brian and James Woods worked on minus the monkey. Personally, that nails the movie on the nose. It’s unfunny, wild, and while it seems predictable in some ways, it’s unpredictable in worse ways than one can imagine.

Thanks for reading this review! Next weekend, “Deadpool 2” is out in theaters, and I have my eyes set on seeing it around that time, so stay tuned for my review for that if I ever get around to it! Also, be sure to stay tuned for the third review in my series of Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” films, “Mission: Impossible III!” Aside from those two things, be sure to stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Life of the Party?” What did you think about it? Or, did you guys see “Tammy?” I actually want to know your thoughts on that too. I say that because the same director who did this movie directed “Tammy” and I honestly want to watch “Tammy” to compare both films side-by-side! I heard “Tammy” was widely regarded as an atrocity, but I want to know some specific thoughts from those who have seen it. Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!