“Spa Weekend” is directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (Bad Moms, 21 & Over) and stars Leslie Mann (Blockers, Welcome to Marwen), Isla Fisher (Keeping Up with the Joneses, Now You See Me), Michelle Buteau (Babes, Clerks III), Anna Faris (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Mom), and Adam Demos (Sex/Life, UnREAL). This film is about four women who reconnect for, you guessed it, a spa weekend.

While there is no Oscar for “most accurate movie title,” this one would certainly win it should it ever become a thing.

Also, in case the title of the post is not clear, this review contains spoilers. The movie has been out for a number of weeks as of this publication, so chances are that some of you reading this early have already seen it. Regardless, this is still a new release, and if you were looking forward to watching “Spa Weekend,” maybe wait to read this review until after you have seen the movie.

…Or don’t wait. If anything, this review should serve as a warning as to why you should skip this film altogether.

I want to share a true story that happened during my screening of “Spa Weekend.” I was in a tiny auditorium watching the movie. How tiny? It holds 28 people. You would think this was a private cinema in someone’s home. I went with three other people, and since my ticket was purchased last minute, I sat in the row behind them, where I stayed until the film’s conclusion. As the film was ending, I came down to the row where the other three people were sitting, and tripped down the stairs while falling into their row. Thankfully, I am okay. I had a minor sensation in my ankle, but it was not twisted or broken. Had it been twisted or broken, I would still debate whether that experience was worse than having to sit through “Spa Weekend” from start to finish.

I did not realize going into “Spa Weekend” that I have had quite a bit of experience with Jon Lucas and Scott Moore as creatives. These two are responsible for several comedies containing some of the hottest stars including “Bad Moms,” “Jexi,” “The Change-Up,” and “The Hangover.” Lucas and Moore directed the first two of these four movies in addition to writing them. The duo happened to write the last two movies as well, but they were directed by different people. To me, their resume, overall, is fairly mixed. While they have done more than these four, these are the projects of theirs that I have seen.

Well, unless you count part of “Four Christmases,” which is, by all accounts, a holiday movie that exists.

The only one of this duo’s films that I can genuinely say is worth watching is “The Hangover.” It is one of my favorite comedies ever. “Bad Moms” and “The Change-Up” are mixed at best, and “Jexi” nearly crosses the “so bad it is good” territory, but it is not quite on that level. It is just bad. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to congratulate these two for making a movie that makes “Jexi” look like “There’s Something About Mary.”

As mentioned, “Spa Weekend” is from the minds behind “Bad Moms,” and I am almost convinced that “Spa Weekend” is secretly part of the “Bad Moms” cinematic universe. I did not stay for the entire credits, but I would not be surprised if this movie ended with a title card that reads “Mila Kunis will return in ‘Spa Weekend: Doomsday.'”

At times “Spa Weekend” has a script that feels like it was meant to be a “Bad Moms” movie that did not quite end up working out, so they changed some of the names, cast members, and situations in which the characters find themselves. Granted, that does seem unfair as not all of the main characters are moms. See? It’s not “Bad Moms!” It’s “Bad Moms and Friends!”

You have Jane (Mann), a single mom who struggles to balance work and taking care of the kids. As a result, she does not have any time for herself or reliable resources to babysit. There is the workaholic, Sophie (Faris). She does not have any children, but she has a boss that sometimes acts like a child. Then you have another single mom, Coco (Butaeu), who in addition to dealing with her separation, comes off as a pessimist to other people around her. Her ex is, calmly, recommending she should see a therapist, and she is not bagging what he is raking. All three of these women are fed up and decide to go on a spa weekend to celebrate Jane’s birthday. It is at this point that they all agree not to invite Mel (Fisher), a wealthy, overexaggerated nutcase who also happens to be the friend of the group that the other three talk about behind their back.

And if you think that after the three souls plan this extravagant weekend that Mel is not going to show up, then look up in the sky! See that red cloud? The one shaped like an X? That’s for you!

Mel is a lot of things. A handful. A loudmouth. An ignoramus. But a fleshed out character is not one of them, as is the case with several others in the film. I will say, the film gets one thing right, and that is playing up the fact that Mel is definitely the annoying friend. And I know that because watching Fisher commit to unleashing the most over the top performance imaginable was like hearing nails on a chalkboard infused with rainbow dust. Fisher does not give the only overexaggerated performance in this film, but compared to everyone else, she is a cartoon.

It is actually kind of interesting watching Fisher play this annoying fourth wheel because that is what she is to the other women. I say this because when I think of the year’s most immersive films, I will inevitably think of something like “Project Hail Mary” or “The Odyssey,” but “Spa Weekend” turned out to pack in more immersion than I originally anticipated. I truly felt like I was at a hotel with some horny, loud chick whose mouth I would have liked to have duct taped just so I could relax. Just in the way that Mel ruined the spa weekend for the other three women, she also ruined the hour and a half I had to spend watching her on the big screen.

I am not going into “Spa Weekend” expecting to be changed as a person, but at least give me something that is funny. This movie could not even give me that. In fact, the funniest part of the film for me is one character who I would have liked to see more of, and that is Jane’s brother, who very much gives off “funcle” vibes. He is showing the kids “Pulp Fiction” and refuses to clean up dog poop that’s left inside the house. He does not give two squirts of urine about his laziness. In fact, he seems to embrace it. He only had a couple lines early on in the film, but they made me cackle. I would like to see a movie about this genius and shove the spa weekenders aside for a little bit. But only after about a minute of getting to see this “funcle,” the movie showcases about 80 to 90 minutes of gags that have most certainly been done before, and absolutely positively done ten times better.

The movie tries its best to fulfill the arcs of each of the characters, and in some ways, it is not awful. While I was not entertained with the journeys that this film takes its single moms, Jane and Coco, I do think their stories wind up being wrapped in a competent bow of sorts. As for the two women without children, I wish I had kinder things to say.

Sophie spends a portion of the film dealing with her less than stellar boss. He complains if even the tiniest thing does not go his way. Some of his complaints have to do with “second homes,” as well. As a premise, this sounds like a case where I can root for Sophie. At the beginning, that was the case. This boss was a spoiled brat.

But… As this arc progresses, we see Sophie do something that, quite frankly, is just as, if not twice as despicable, as some of the things her boss did to her.

I hate doing this in reviews, but I have to spoil something that happens in the movie. This may affect your experience should you watch this film down the line. You’ve been warned.

About two-thirds or so into the runtime, Sophie, who is now fired from her job, gets a call from her boss. He is calling because he forgot his password to get into his alternate home. Okay, sounds snobby, but still. Sophie takes this information, and declines to provide assistance all the while calling him a prick. Okay, she does not work for this person anymore. She is not being paid. She is not on the clock. Fine. That is technically true. But what is ALSO true, is that her boss was being attacked by dogs. As far as I am aware, these were not his dogs. It is not clear if they are someone’s pets, police dogs, or if they live in the wild. Nevertheless, he is being attacked by dogs. I do not care how much you hate your boss, or former boss for that matter. If they are in a situation where they are being attacked, my first instinct is not to tell them to screw off. For all I know, this boss could have died, and Sophie played a role in his murder! She is evil! As far as this film is concerned, Sophie is secretly the villain. She is a monster!

Some of you reading this have probably seen this movie. Then again, judging by the fact that this movie was outgrossed domestically on its opening weekend by a rerelease of “The Fast and the Furious,” a 25-year old film, I am not so sure. But for those who have seen this movie, you might say that I should stop taking this film so seriously and turn off my brain. Let me make something clear. I can enjoy dumb fun as long as that is exactly what it is. Dumb fun. This movie was just dumb. And it made me feel dumber for having watched it. Many of the characters, main and supporting, act like complete buffoons. On top of that, some of the main characters who the movie tells me I am supposed to like, I cannot even tolerate because they wind up doing questionable things. Every other so-called attempt at comedy in this film had me rolling my eyes, shaking my arms in question, or staring in dead silence. I thought “The Breadwinner” might have been the worst comedy of the year. But it has some competition.

In the end, “Spa Weekend” is an absolute travesty of a film that is about as lazy as a suburban dad on a Sunday in the fall. I had low expectations for “Spa Weekend,” and in some ways, they were met. I want to like every movie I go into. I was hoping “Spa Weekend” could have been the pleasant surprise of the year. But it wound up being the definition of an insufferable waste of time. Jon Lucas and Scott Moore are by no means untalented. Again, I love “The Hangover” and think it is a masterful film. But when it comes to making movies, not only do I think their batting average is not the best, but this film tanks it. “Spa Weekend” might be my least favorite film from them. I am having a tough time coming up with something I genuinely enjoyed in “Spa Weekend,” other than the “funcle” who shows up for a minute. It is not enough. I am going to give “Spa Weekend” a 1/10.

“Spa Weekend” is now playing in theaters. Tickets are available now.

Thanks for reading this review! If you have not done so already, be sure to check out the latest episode of Scene Before’s Movie Requests, it is an original series where I ask celebrities what movies they think I should watch, and I report my thoughts on those movies! The latest episode features actress Melissa Barrera, who requested I should watch “Roma.” To find out my thoughts, click the video above! If you enjoy the video, leave a like, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and hit the notification bell that way future videos will come into your feed as fast as possible!

My next review is going to be for “Coyote vs. Acme.” Stay tuned! Also coming soon, I will be sharing my thoughts on “Idiots” and “Don’t Move.” If you want to see these reviews and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “Spa Weekend?” What did you think about it? Or, what is the worst movie you have seen so far this year? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!