Cinema

Logan Lucky (2017): A Very Unlucky Movie

Posted on by Jack Drees

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“Logan Lucky” is directed by Steven Soderbergh who also directed “Ocean’s Eleven” and “Magic Mike.” This movie stars Channing Tatum (Magic Mike, 21 Jump Street), Adam Driver (Girls, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens), and Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Cowboys & Aliens) and is about two brothers who try to pull of a heist while a NASCAR race in North Carolina is going down.

Going into this movie, I’ve had some experience with Steven Soderbergh. And by some, I mean not much at all. I’ve watched part of “Ocean’s Eleven,” which is a heist movie that takes place in Vegas, I fell asleep. For the record, I wasn’t bored, it was late. I was at my grandparents and I was in a sofa bed with my father, we were watching this at one point during the night. I haven’t watched it again since, but I know a lot of people like it. “Ocean’s Twelve” and “Ocean’s Thirteen” from what I heard aren’t as good as “Ocean’s Eleven.” This guy also did “Magic Mike,” which I haven’t seen, but from what I gathered, the movie might as well be called “Look at Channing’s Gigantic Tatum!”, which saying that now, is kind of interesting considering how Channing Tatum is in this movie, who we will get into in just a moment.

Here’s something I just want to get out about “Ocean’s Eleven,” while I recall it putting me to sleep, what I witnessed on screen wasn’t all that boring.. I’ll tell you guys, and a lot of people are gonna probably call me a nincompoop, type comments in all capitals or comments suggesting that you want me to die, or simply say I have the brain capacity of Patrick Star from “Spongebob Squarepants,” despite what I said, I’ll get something off my chest. …This movie was BORING. This is probably the most dull movie I’ve seen since “The Girl on the Train” which came out last year! What was boring about it? Well, let’s start with the basics, and by the basics I mean just about everything the movie has to offer!

When it comes to the pacing, it almost felt like it was a bunch of different movies crammed into one. There was the meat of the film, which was the heist, then you have this drama involving a couple of exes, then you have this father-daughter relationship film which felt like “Gifted,” a movie that a lot of people ended up enjoying but I couldn’t, you know, kind of like this movie. Part of the movie also felt like it had part of the finale of “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues,” with less humor, which actually does fit in terms of tone, although it took place in the middle of the movie as opposed to the end.

I also have to say that as far as character motivation goes, it really could have been improved. I like the cast, but the characters which the cast ended up playing were not that well written or executed. You have characters you either don’t give a s*it about, you have forgettable characters, and you also have one character that’s a little too cartoony for the movie he’s in. In terms of his looks and attitude, he reminded me of Nux in “Mad Max: Fury Road,” a character who works in “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but when it comes to “Logan Lucky,” this isn’t really the adequate time to yell about how lovely your day is. If you witness Daniel Craig, there’s a scene where he laughs and it’s kind of embarrassing.

The first character I’m gonna talk about in depth is played by Channing Tatum, he’s known in the movie as Jimmy Logan, and while he may have been fired at the beginning of the movie because of a preexisting condition, I didn’t feel any sort of connection to his character. This is partially due to how, as mentioned, the movie jumped back and forth between too many subplots and tons of exposition. I mean, getting fired from your job and not earning as much money as you once did is one reason that one would like to go on a heist, but I just didn’t care, something REALLY felt off. The other characters didn’t really seem to have much of a motivation, Daniel Craig’s character probably wanted to get away from jail, but that’s probably the only hint of motivation that I recall from this movie if it was even there.

Adam Driver was also in this movie as Jimmy’s brother, Clyde. The only quality that was even the least bit redeeming about the character was probably his fake arm. Clyde’s fake arm probably had more of a story that I cared about than Clyde himself. One of the movie’s best parts actually involved the arm. There was one scene where the characters were using a vacuum, and it ends up sucking the arm.

Now let’s dive into a character I thought would be interesting, but turned out to be lackluster. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Daniel Craig’s Joe Bang. Walking out of the movie, I don’t recall much of anything from his character, for the most part, Daniel Craig gave a good performance, but there was one moment that took me out of the film, which was his cartoony laugh I was talking about earlier.

And that’s the thing about this movie, it has a stellar cast, it has likable performances, including one from a child actress that wasn’t bad at all. Everyone sounded like they were from the south. In terms of costumes, yeah, technically these aren’t costumes but you get my point, it all suited the characters quite well. When it comes to aspects of the movie itself, it feels like the right vibe is there, but overall you have this s*itpile of a movie so it doesn’t feel like everything is being hit in the sweet spot.

Also, you can kind of say this is somewhat like “The Hunger Games” because I remember it taking it forever in those movies to actually get to the Hunger Games. This is said to be a heist movie, but this feels more like an exposition movie with a heist somewhere in the mix. This may have worked if I cared about the characters a bit more, but I basically said what I needed to say about them. Oh yeah, I forgot, there were a lot of other characters, including some played by big names such as Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad!), Hilary Swank (Insomnia, Boys Don’t Cry), and Katie Holmes (Batman Begins, Dawson’s Creek), those characters aren’t worth talking about all that much. I mean, I didn’t care for just about anyone in this movie, the characters are basically random people with names inserted into a script and then transferred into something that might qualify as a film.

In the end, “Logan Lucky” was a HARD movie to review. This is partially because of my unpopular opinion and the fact that I actually did experience glimmers of enjoyment during segments of the film. I wanted to like this movie, especially because the rest of the Internet does. This has a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes as of now, which is higher than “Interstellar,” one of my favorite movies of all time. If you like this movie I really don’t blame you, we all have our own thoughts, I’ve met people who actually enjoyed watching “Gods of Egypt.” You know the movie featuring a bunch of Egyptians played by non-Egyptian actors? Yeah, that one. For me, this movie was boring, I had no interest while watching the movie, I just wanted to leave the auditorium. If you like the movie, that’s fine, but that just means we don’t have the same tastes when it comes to film. I’m gonna give “Logan Lucky” a 4/10. Thanks for reading this review, pretty soon I’m gonna go see “The Glass Castle” and review it for you all, and also stay tuned for my series of Tom Cruise movie reviews, I’ll be reviewing three movies in this category, so stay tuned for those! Also, I want to know, what is a movie that you think is bad that everyone else thinks is good? For me, that’s this movie. OR what is a movie that you think is good that everyone else thinks is bad? For me, that’s “Spider-Man 3.” Leave your thoughts in the comments! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Top 10 BEST Movie Quotes

Posted on by Jack Drees

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Hey everyone, Jack Drees here with another countdown! When I watch movies, one thing I pay a lot of attention to happens to be the characters. After all, in most movies, the characters are the one thing that can make you decide whether the movie is either good or bad. There are a lot of characters I like, some more than others, but there are some times in movies when you witness one character, and they give a quote to remember forever. Whether it’s funny, original, deep, or epic, certain characters can compel me when they speak. Today I’m gonna talk about my top 10 favorite quotes from movies. Now, keep in mind, these are my personal picks. If you don’t like these quotes, that’s totally OK, you can make your own list with your own quotes, or you can leave a comment displaying your personal favorite movie quotes or why you disagree with me. Although just don’t be a dick about it and then we’ll most likely be cool. Anyway, let’s start the list, and get counting down on my top 10 BEST movie quotes.

10: Jaws

“Jaws” is probably the most famous shark movie ever made. It was one of the first big summer movies, it came out before other summer movie hits like the original “Star Wars” and “Alien,” and many people say it still stands the test of time despite having a fake shark. What quote from the movie belongs on this list? If you’re asking this question, you either haven’t seen or heard of “Jaws,” or your brain isn’t wired properly. Anyway, here’s the quote:

BRODY: You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

The first time I heard this quote I was watching the movie with my dad, it set the stage for some of what was to come, I got a laugh out of it, and it almost felt like hearing something that a teacher would say to you that you’d never forget as long as you live. The line delivery given by Roy Schneider in this instance is fabulous. Not to mention, when you see him in frame, he’s got a perfect posture and the image seems to have no flaws when it comes to the quote, the quote just seems to fit with literally everything this moment of the movie has going for it. The delivery itself gives a sense of danger and it pulls you in, John Williams’s music building up along with it is also perfect. If you haven’t watched “Jaws,” you’re either lying, under a rock, or some talking shark told you to never watch the movie otherwise it would eat you.

9: The Terminator

I don’t usually watch the “Terminator” franchise all that often, however I do find enjoyment out of it every once in awhile. I consider “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” to be one of the best action films ever made, but it doesn’t mean I keep the others (mainly 1, 3, and 5, the 4th one was dull) in consideration. OK well, to be fair, the fifth actually wasn’t the best movie ever. In fact, despite “Judgment Day” being my favorite of the bunch, I still think the original had the best line in the franchise. Don’t get me wrong, the second one had cool lines including Schwarzenegger’s “Hasta la vista, baby,” and the exchange between John Conner and Schwarzenegger after a chase scene early on in the movie.

JOHN: Who brought you here?

THE TERMINATOR: You did.

The best line is one I’ve been saying a lot all my life, and I imagine a lot of other people have as well. If you have seen the first movie, you’d probably agree with me when I say this is the film’s best line.

THE TERMINATOR: I’ll be back.

If that line were used in any random conversation, it would most likely fly over people’s heads, but the execution of this line is perfect. It gives you a feeling of suspense, a wonder for what’s to come. THEN BAM! A car comes crashing into a building driven by The Terminator himself! The thing that makes the line perfect, isn’t necessarily how it’s written, it’s more towards how it’s delivered. Also, think about it, this almost feels like a line only people like Arnold could ace. Imagine if someone like Gilbert Gottfried was playing the Terminator, imagine how that would turn out! It wouldn’t work as much.

8: The LEGO Movie

I love “The LEGO Movie.” To me, it’s one of the best animations ever made, and one of the characters in that movie is Will Arnett’s interpretation of Batman. He’s by far the funniest part of the movie and a definite scene stealer. When I was making this list, I was trying to think of quotes that made me roll on the floor, then I thought about this movie. When it comes to the best quotes in the entire film, it’s a really tough competition because the film’s screenplay is probably one of the funniest I’ve witnessed in my life! Although I ended up picking one quote over everything else. But before I show you the quote, let me give you some buildup. So there’s one point in this movie where our heroes are stuck in an ocean, they pop out of the cushions of a double decker coach. So Batman interrupts the conversation at hand, and lets everyone know of reality.

“I don’t mean to spoil the party, but does anyone else notice we’re stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? I mean, it’s not like a big gigantic ship is just gonna come out of nowhere and save us. (suddenly a big gigantic ship becomes visible as it comes over to them) My, gosh!”

So the heroes get on the ship, Metal Beard, a character who we knew earlier from the film, is there too. Not too long after getting on, Emmett, the main character played by Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World), reveals his plan to save the world. Although, when it comes to a part involving a spaceship, the folks run into a problem. In order to complete the manufacturing of a spaceship, a hyperdrive is required, which none of the heroes have. At one point, Batman utters this:

“What do yo think, a spaceship’s just gonna appear out of the blue? (suddenly a spaceship appears behind them) Are you kidding me?! The same thing!”

I remember loving that when I first saw the film, but I recall watching it on HBO at one point and I laughed like a supervillain! There are few films I’ve watched that have the humor this film managed to deliver, and when I saw “The LEGO Batman Movie” a spinoff to “The LEGO Movie,” I knew this movie wasn’t a fluke. In fact, I love a quote from that movie which stands out as well, the one where Batman makes fun of the Suicide Squad. These movies are just factors behind why I’m excited to find out what “The LEGO Ninjago Movie” is going to be like.

7: Kingsman: The Secret Service

I love “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” As a movie, it knows it’s a ridiculous spy flick and it even sometimes compares itself to Bond. Not to mention there’s a dog in the movie whose name has the initials “JB,” when the main character of Gary “Eggsy” Unwin is talking with Michael Caine’s character of Arthur, Arthur asked if the initials meant “James Bond,” which they didn’t. He also asked if they meant “Jason Bourne,” which also wasn’t the case. By the way, they mean “Jack Bauer.” It has obvious product placement in one scene, but in ways it can probably bring chuckles. One of my favorite scenes in the entire movie takes place in a church. Colin Firth’s character of Harry Hart is there, this church is full of people in a hate group. The antagonist of the film, Valentine, played by Samuel L. Jackson is planning on initiating a test associated with the SIM cards introduced in the film. Harry gets up out of his seat, he tries getting by one lady, and she wonders where he’s going and what his problem is. Hart responds by uttering this:

HARRY HART: “I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”

This is basically going against the ideas of this specific church and the way this line is delivered is pure quality. How often have you always wanted to say to anyone in a hate group, it could be anything, “You’re wrong, I’m right, everyone deserves to be happy, have a fine day.”? Not to mention this sets up one of my favorite action sequences in movie history. Valentine initiates the test, and then literally everyone in the church starts killing each other. It’s well shot, well choreographed, and the music choice, otherwise known as “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd was a great pick for this scenario. If you haven’t seen this movie, I’ll remind you it’s not for everyone, but the church scene alone is a work of art. The cinematography and music, combined with the shock value in that scene is amazing. I honestly CANNOT wait for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” it’s gonna kill!

6: V For Vendetta

When it comes to some of my most recent discoveries throughout my movie watching experience, “V For Vendetta” is definitely up there with my favorites. This is a film that I bet some people don’t even realize is based on a DC Comics graphic novel. Maybe I’m wrong, but who knows really. There’s a lot I like about the movie, the characters, the effects, the story, the acting, and the score. Another thing that stood out to me is this quote near the end of the movie given by V, played by Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Captain America: The First Avenger).

V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof.

What I love about this quote is specifically the last sentence. Before the given quote, V is interacting with the character of Creedy, and by interacting I mean fighting. It’s V for himself against a bunch of other people trying to take him down. What makes the quote so lovable to me, given time to marinate, has not really too much to do with the character of V or even the film itself, it’s mainly about how one can take an idea, try to put it into action, and regardless of whether or not it works out, the idea itself will never go away. This even includes stupid ideas, and I’m not just saying that to make people feel better about a stupid idea.

5: Inception

I LOVE CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. He is one of my favorite directors of all time. He’s done some movies revered by many people such as “The Dark Knight,” “Memento,” and the movie I’m gonna be talking about here, “Inception.” There’s a lot of great moments in this film, from the first time Ariadne and Cobb are in a dream together, to the hotel hallway fight, and the AMAZING climax. I already mentioned Cobb is a character in this movie, in fact, he’s the lead character played by none other than Jack from “Titanic” himself, Leonardo DiCaprio. There’s another character in this movie who goes by the name of Mal, she’s played by Marion Cotillard, who eventually went on to play Miranda in “The Dark Knight Rises.” The two in this movie were once married, I won’t go into any further details than that, but that’s an important element during the film. Although let’s get into a quote which can associate with that. This quote is mentioned more than once throughout the picture, and here it is:

MAL: I’ll tell you a riddle. You’re waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you; but you don’t know for sure. But it doesn’t matter. How can it not matter to you where that train will take you?

As stated, this is not the only time it’s mentioned in the movie, but this is just one example. This is also mentioned during a scene towards the end of the film that’s pretty much a reversal of this. There’s also a time that Mal mentions it again that gets more haunting the more I think about it. What I love about this quote is how much it goes along with a motif that we witness during the movie. We start off the movie, Cobb is on a train, and he says “I don’t like trains.” Then we get this quote, which comes up again later, and we also have a scene where a locomotive is sliding through a city street, which by the way, sounds awesome on Blu-Ray. Not only that, but once again, I’ll mention, the quote itself is haunting, and that is during the time Mal is saying the quote and Cobb is shouting at her. The last time it’s stated, there’s actually a train in the frame as it’s being spoken. If you haven’t watched “Inception” I highly recommend it, one of the greatest movies ever made.

4: Whiplash

I know a lot of people have been talking about the movie “La La Land” which was directed by Damien Chazelle, but I feel that a lot of people are either forgetting about or just don’t know the work he did before that came out. To be more specific, the work I’m referring to is “Whiplash.” This movie’s about an aspiring drummer named Andrew Neimann, played by Miles Teller (Fantastic Four, Divergent), he goes to a school which is basically THE music school to attend, and he meets JK Simmons’s (Juno, Oz) character of Terence Fletcher. This is also the movie which gave JK Simmons his first Golden Globe, and his first Oscar, both of which in my book are amazingly beyond well deserved. I also have to give credit to how his character is written along with casting JK Simmons in the first place because not only was his character well written, this kind of seems like a role that only someone such as JK Simmons could really play. Think about it, JK Simmons has done more than one role playing someone arrogant or bossy. Just watch Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man” trilogy or TBS’s “Men at Work.” This movie’s character, to me, feels like a tribute to JK Simmons. So what’s my favorite line from the character? Well, it’s this:

TERENCE FLETCHER: You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped little piece of s*it whose mommy left daddy when she figured out he wasn’t Eugene O’Neill, and who is now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a f*cking nine-year old girl! So for the final, FATHER-F*CKING time, SAY IT LOUDER!

I bet some of you are wondering what the hell is happening when this line is coming out of this character’s mouth. Well, I’ll tell you. Terence is instructing the students to play a certain song, and they’re all playing it. Andrew is playing the drums, and Terence Fletcher keeps telling Andrew, in a polite tone, that he’s not playing the way he should. Then all of a sudden, no more interruptions are happening, but soon thereafter, Terence throws a chair at Andrew. Soon, they start getting into a rivalry with words. Andrew is just trying to cooperate and Terence is basically yelling at him! At one point, Andrew even starts tearing up, Terence is embarrassing Andrew in a way telling him to yell the fact that he’s upset, which he does multiple times. After saying it once more, the line shown above comes into play, and after Terence shouts “SAY IT LOUDER,” at the end, Terence says he’s upset one last time. The reason why I love this line so much is because it’s well acted, well written, and it shows how intense certain teachers can get. If you watch this movie, chances are you could relate to this line, because teachers like this exist. Terence sounds more like a drill sergeant as opposed to a jazz teacher. This is not even the only great line this movie has, Terence also gives a memorable line that I still think about today.

TERENCE FLETCHER: There’s no two words in the English language more harmful, than “good job”.

This almost sounds like a quote worthy of being on the list, but I’m only giving my focal points toward one quote per movie series unless I think there are multiple lines that I like equally, and I like the one I showed you first a bit better.

3: Risky Business

When it came to doing this list, I knew a quote from “Risky Business” HAD to be on here somewhere, but the problem I had was, which one was worthy? To confirm whether or not a quote from “Risky Business” would even make the list in the first place, I actually rewatched it since I own the DVD. “Risky Business” is about a guy named Joel, played by Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible, Jack Reacher) whose parents go away on a trip. Joel is left responsible for the house, but it doesn’t end up going so smoothly. Oh yeah and we also get scenes with the gorgeous Rebecca De Mornay (Wedding Crashers, Flipped). So which quote did I pick? The image at the top should give you a hint if you seen the movie before. This quote comes from the very beginning of the film, Joel and Miles, played by Curtis Armstrong (Revenge of the Nerds, Supernatural), are outside Joel’s house. Miles is about to leave, but before he goes, he says the following:

MILES: “Every now and then, say, “What the f*ck.” “What the f*ck” gives you freedom, freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

OK, as much as swearing might not usually mean much of anything except for the fact that someone may be angry about something, Miles’s character has an incredible point. Let’s say that you have an idea, and you don’t know how it’ll turn out, but you want to go along for the ride, you might say “What the f*ck.” Then you get to your creative freedom, you get to execute an idea and see what happens with it. Maybe the idea will get you noticed somehow depending on what said idea is. If you get noticed or revered in some fashion for that idea, chances are you possibly just won your entire future. This feels like something that would happen if someone doesn’t know what the future holds but they want to see it play out in the best way possible, and to do that, they have to take a chance. Now that I think about it, this almost sounds like a game show such as “Press Your Luck” or “Deal or no Deal.” In fact, if there’s one quote that can associate with the movie’s overall intended idea, it might as well be this one. Why? The director of the film, Paul Brickman thought that it would be a good idea in this film to show that greed can bring consequences. Also, fun fact, the ending of the film wasn’t something he intended. His original ending stuck to a less upbeat tone. I’ve seen both the theatrical ending and the director’s preferred ending, and as of the moment, I personally prefer the director’s ending, the way it’s written feels more memorable and the other ending, while not exactly terrible, contains some dialogue almost sounds like something that one wouldn’t really say. If you ask me, the director’s cut did suit the vibe more, but the first one regardless of suitability wasn’t too bad to begin with.

Also before I move on, if you know me, I’m actually a mega-fan of Curtis Armstrong, I even talked to him multiple times, and you’d know that about me if you met me in real life. I say this because I have a feeling some of you might think I’m just putting this here because of my fanaticism, I’m not, and if you watch this scene, it’s kind of easy to see why. Anyway, let’s continue!

2: Interstellar (Two quotes tie because I can’t decide which is better) *SPOLIERS*

When it comes to the sci-fi genre, to me there’s no better film than “Interstellar,” this film is well written, well directed, well shot, well acted, and has the greatest ending to a film I’ve ever seen. We’re gonna talk about two lines here. They’re both kind of in spoiler territory, but one is in greater spoiler territory as opposed to the other. Let’s talk about the one that’s less spoilery first.

So if you’ve watched this movie you may know about the sequence which Matthew McConaughey’s character of Cooper observes the messages sent by his kids. He gets a number of messages from his son, Tom, but he barely gets any from his daughter, Murph. Cooper is in space, and time is flowing at a different pace for him as opposed to his kids back on Earth. He just got back on the ship after going to a planet which contains a crapload of water. When the ship is back in space, Romilly, one of the astronauts in this movie, wakes up, and he hasn’t seen the other characters for twenty-three years. This is how long the messages span. Cooper plays all of the messages, which many people consider to be the most emotional part of the movie, which I personally disagree with, and once all of Tom’s messages are over, Murph’s face shows up, she looks different than how she did before considering this is the first time we are seeing her as an adult. Here’s what basically goes down here.

MURPH: Hey Dad.
COOPER: Hey, Murph.
MURPH: You son of a bitch. I never made one of these when you were still responding because I was so mad at you for leaving. And then when you went quiet, it felt like I should live with that decision, and I have. But today is my birthday. And it’s a special one, because you told me… you once told me that when you come back we might be the same age. And today I’m the same age you were when you left.
(SHE BEGINS TO CRY)
MURPH: So it would be a real good time for you to come back.
(MURPH WIPES THE TEARS FROM HER EYES AND ENDS THE MESSAGE)

I love this entire moment, you can argue this isn’t technically a quote, but Murph is saying all of this in a pre-recorded message that Cooper is viewing, so he can’t really talk to Murph. Nevertheless, I love it. Just imagine how it feels to realize that your kid is back on Earth, you’re in space, time is moving differently for the both of you. Hearing this just shows the speed which time is moving, and it shows how much of a connection this father and daughter have with each other. In this scene you feel the emotion between these two, I mean for crying out loud, Cooper has been in this important mission which is the key to mankind’s survival, and the time he’s been in space is longer than the time spent in both World War I and World War II COMBINED, even if you take the spans of both wars, which comes out to a total of 1,567+2,193, which simplified is 3,760, and if you multiply it by two, it still wouldn’t be as long as the time these folks have been in space. I thought waiting from a Saturday morning to a Wednesday afternoon for my mother to get back from Arizona in October 2011 was long, this is a whole new level of long!

Now onto the second quote, while the first quote may have been in spoiler territory, this next one is probably going to ruin the entire movie for you, so if you haven’t seen “Interstellar,” go watch it, it’s a great film, and this is your warning.

The next quote takes place during the film’s final act, where everything is coming together, and we get to one of the only parts of a movie, if not the only part, where I cried while watching. Our heroes are near a black hole, and to shed some weight on the ship, Cooper thinks it would a good idea to send TARS straight into the black hole. Sounds cruel, I know, but TARS is a robot, so he doesn’t really care. Once TARS goes down, Cooper is about to do the same, Brand, one of the other astronauts, is freaking out, she is questioning why Cooper is doing this, but Cooper does it anyway. So he’s going down, meanwhile we see Earth drama, then we cut back to what’s going on from Cooper’s perspective, he’s falling, then he ejects his seatbelt, he’s out of his ship, he’s floating, and we see, something. It’s a tesseract, and Cooper is falling inside it. He wonders what’s going on, and I know I’ve been spoiling a lot, but this is important. Cooper is pushing something, it’s moving, and it falls, we see Cooper’s daughter, Murph, at the age of 10. I won’t go into COMPLETE detail, but I’ll spill some things here and there. Cooper is looking at his daughter and he’s watching her leave her room, which is in another dimension Cooper is looking at while he’s inside the black hole. It turns out this isn’t the only daughter observing Cooper is doing. He’s also looking at her in other moments in time, including moments we’ve seen in this movie, moments Cooper himself was involved in. Cooper, in a way, is communicating with Murph, which connects to an event that occurs in the movie’s beginning. Then, we get to listen to what Hans Zimmer does best, create epic music. We cut between a “current” moment on Earth, and Cooper looking at Murph from a time which she was younger. The editing is flawless. Soon, we get to this quote:

COOPER: Tell him Murph. Make him stay. Make… Make him stay Murph. Make him stay Murph! Don’t let me leave, Murph! Don’t, don’t let me leave Murph! (CRIES) NO, NO, NO, NO!

In case you have gone on this long and haven’t seen the film, I should let you know I’m being merciful and leaving out a huge part. If you have seen the film and paid close attention at the end, you’d know what I’m talking about. This is just part of an entire ending that after multiple watches, had me in tears. I love the quote for its emotional impact, how it’s delivered, and there’s really barely any words I can use in order to describe it. “Interstellar” is a movie you have to truly see to believe, there’s a reason why I talk about it all the time. Please, watch “Interstellar,” there’s a chance you will remember at least one quote from the movie after you watch it. Trust me.

1: Taken

My #1 movie quote comes from the movie “Taken.” “Taken” is a sick action flick. The sequels don’t live up to the original, but at least Liam Neeson has proven to be pretty kick-ass in the first installment. The plot of taken is that Bryan Mills, a retired CIA agent played by Liam Neeson, has a daughter, the daughter goes to Paris, and then she gets captured by someone who’s basically gonna turn her into some sort of sex slave. What quote gets me going when it comes to this movie? Well, it’s the one that is abridged on the poster above, which is also the one that Liam Neeson stated after his daughter got captured. Bryan Mills is on the phone, he hears his daughter screaming, and seconds later we hear this:

BRYAN MILLS: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

This one quote sets the stage for whatever comes next. The rest of movie is a terrific thrill ride and has some action, especially when you compare it to “Taken 3.” That movie shouldn’t have even been called “Taken,” it’s just there to exist and make a trilogy. The plot almost has nobody being taken. In the first two movies, somebody was taken, not in the third one. Ah, whatever. This quote was mentioned by Bryan when his daughter was in Paris, he was instructing her to do all sorts of things in order to protect herself. As much as I love the quote based on its delivery, how its written, and simply the fact that it exists, it might just suggest one thing above all else, which is that Liam Neeson is a badass when it comes to action films. I haven’t really seen much of his other work, but seeing him in this film was enough to convince me he was a badass. Throughout the making of this list, it has been hard to decide what quotes should go where and even what quotes should appear on the list in the first place. This is #1 because of how memorable it is, how it set the tone for the movie, and made me root for Bryan Mills and his daugter, Kim, as characters. Other quotes from this list are either funny, intriguing, or important, but there’s something about this quote from “Taken” that makes it more than just words written on a script. You know, unlike how everything from “Taken 2” is just words written on a script.

Alright folks, these are my ten favorite movie quotes. Going through this list I realized how interesting my picks were considering how Michael Caine was in three of these films, a couple of these films have some sort of association with trains, and Christopher Nolan directed two of these films, by the way I almost included a quote from “The Dark Knight,” it almost made the cut. I want to know, what are your favorite movie quotes? Why do you like the quotes so much? Let me know in the comments! Pretty soon I’m going to have my review for “The Glass Castle,” I just got to get around to seeing it. Stay tuned for that review and more great content! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Marvel Cinematic Universe Will Continue For Decades, Not Surprising, Although Slightly Concerning

Posted on by Jack Drees

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! I have to say right now, this week may be the craziest I’ve ever witnessed when it comes to comic book movie news. Nothing new is coming out this weekend, however when it comes to news, it’s absolutely insane. I’m actually gonna cover multiple segments here, however only one portion here matters more than others. I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s an idea, when introduced at the time, seemed original by the standards of film. It has now inspired other cinematic universes such as the “Dark Universe” from Universal, the DCEU (Detective Comics Extended Universe), and the Monsterverse Warner is focusing on at the moment. “Thor: Ragnarok,” which will be released in November, is going to be the seventeenth movie in the universe. That’s not the only future movie planned, there’s gonna be a couple of “Avengers” sequels coming up, “Ant-Man” is getting another standalone film, Captain Marvel is gonna have a movie, “Spider-Man: Homecoming” is gonna have a sequel, and “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” will be happening. Speaking of “Guardians of the Galaxy,” let’s talk about that.

If you don’t know me personally, I enjoyed the first “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie. The vibe worked perfectly, the comedy landed for the most part, and it took characters that not many people, including some people who read comic books out of enthusiasm, didn’t know much about. Not many folks, until 2014, heard about Starlord, not many people knew about Gamora, they weren’t aware of Groot, they didn’t ever think about Drax, nobody traditionally thought of Rocket as a badass raccoon. What Marvel was able to do with these characters kind of amazes me. As far as their movies go, this might be their most family friendly one yet.

As much as I enjoyed the first “Guardians,” the sequel was big letdown for me. It may have been due to my hype for the film, but then again, I anticipated “Wonder Woman” and “Dunkirk” to death and look how those movies turned out. It’s by no means a bad movie, nor is it the worst in the MCU, but it is not a great movie either, it’s just passable. The humor didn’t land as much, although some worked, like the Taserface gag and the Mary Poppins joke. Some of the characters were not as cool as they were in the first movie, although the movie did get a better villain and they did improve the character of Drax in some ways.

*UNPOPULAR OPINION WARNING, FLAME SHIELD READY*

Baby Groot is by far one of the single most annoying characters I’ve seen in anything! I get he’s small, and supposed to be cute, but this film literally tries to force it down your throat! It almost reminds me of the stupid kid the lead characters have from the piece of crap they call “Sharknado!” It’s like watching YouTube, you’re watching cat videos, and the person taking the video is constantly saying look at this cat playing the piano! YOU MADE YOUR F*CKING POINT! YOU SAID IT ONCE! YOU ALREADY TOLD ME! I ALREADY KNOW! It’s like if BB-8 from “Star Wars Episode VII” was constantly shoved into random scenes just because he’s cute. And granted, the cuteness factor was there, and a lot of people see him as a cute droid, but he’s there when the plot needs him, he’s not randomly in shots just shoving jelly beans down his gullet. Wait a minute that makes no sense, droids can’t eat or drink. Also now that I think about it, trees don’t eat jelly beans either. Whatever, you probably get my point! I’m sorry if you hate me, but this is how I feel.

If you are a mega fan of the “Guardians of the Galaxy” movies, both 1 & 2, and you don’t know the main man to thank, I’ll have you know the man you probably should be thanking is James Gunn, he directed and wrote the first and second films which are out right now, and he’s also working on the third one. The man definitely knows how to direct and write these movies based on how the actors deliver their lines and how well the humor plays out. Recently, he did a stream on Facebook Live, and something… …interesting came up. When he was on the livestream, a bunch of users asked some questions, and one user asked if Richard Rider/Nova would ever be put in the MCU films. At one point when answering the question, Gunn uttered this: “One of the things I’m doing with creating “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3,” it will take place after the next two “Avengers” movies and it will help to set up the next 10, 20 years of Marvel movies. It’s going to really expand the cosmic universe.”

That’s right, you’re probably getting at least a decade’s worth of Marvel Cinematic Universe films. How do I feel about this? While I love Marvel and I’m excited to what they have in store, I’m simultaneously worried. The Marvel Cinematic Universe began back in 2008 with “Iron Man,” since then it has expanded with many films loved by audiences everywhere. Some people still say they prefer superhero films outside the MCU such as the older “Spider-Man” films, Nolan’s “Batman” trilogy, Donner’s “Superman,” or movies in the “X-Men” franchise. We’ve had film franchises go on longer than the MCU, such as the “Bourne” series, “James Bond,” “Fast & Furious,” and “Star Wars.” Although I’m noticing that compared to these franchises, the MCU is producing movies more rapidly and when it is compared to a franchise like “Bourne,” you can tell that “Bourne” might have an intended stopping point. The MCU is basically the cinematic universe version of “The Neverending Story.” Me personally, if I had a cinematic universe, and I actually do have one in mind if I ever have the opportunity to make films in Hollywood, I would end it at a point. I’d give it a sense of finality, but I only wonder if the folks behind the MCU will ever feel the same way.

While I am concerned about the franchise going on forever and ever, allow me to address some positives. Starting off the positives, this isn’t Michael Bay’s “Transformers” nor is it “Sharknado.” Also, Marvel has clearly shown how it can make stellar movies that people want to see. A lot of their flicks have been well received by both average moviegoers and critics. When it comes to comic book fans, they do a fine job appreciating that particular audience for the most part. Some notable mistakes they made over the years has usually been with the villains. With the exception of villains like Ego from “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” or the Vulture from “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” the MCU hasn’t really featured terrific villains in their films. This is why I love “Captain America: Civil War” so much, it didn’t have a villain, it had sides, neither good or evil. Another notable flaw many people have with the MCU is in “Doctor Strange.” You may remember the Ancient One in that movie, she was played by Tilda Swinton because it’s an example of whitewashing. While the MCU may not be perfect, it certainly has a lot of likability to it. Despite saying that, I wonder how much it has left.

The MCU has been around for nine years and people still enjoy it, but what if it goes on forever and ever to a point where people begin to become tired of it? If you ask me, I’m not exactly tired of it, but I am starting to think the series might go on longer than it should. Keep in mind, Marvel is owned by Disney, the Bill Gates of movie studios. Disney basically owns us now since they have Marvel, Lucasfilm, Pixar, and their own animations along with those animations that are being remade into live-action form. The top 5 films of 2016 in terms of box office performance are all Disney films. “Captain America: Civil War,” “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” “Finding Dory,” “Zootopia,” and “The Jungle Book.” Right now, three of this year’s films owned by Disney are in the top 10 in terms of box office performance. Those films are “Beauty and the Beast,” “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.” I’m not counting “Spider-Man: Homecoming” here because despite how it is in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sony distributed the movie. Disney has also had successes with 2015 films like “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens,” “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” and “Inside Out.” If you look at what Disney is doing, you may see that they’re making buttloads of money. They now own all of these things we, as viewers, know about. Although I want to make a comparison to this and a popular video game franchise you guys may know about.

Have you guys ever played the “Call of Duty” games? I don’t play as much as other people do, but I know people who play the games. If you know a bit about them, you may know that they do this thing where they release a new game every year. We’re getting Marvel movies, quicker than we’re getting “Call of Duty” games. Keep in mind, many people say that some of the older games like “Modern Warfare” and “Modern Warfare 2” rock whereas newer games like “Advanced Warfare” and “Infinite Warfare” suck. If there’s one thing I noticed, personally, it’s that I thought Marvel movies got better as they went on. the oldest Marvel Cinematic Universe movie I currently have a 10/10 for is “Iron Man 3” which was released on May 3, 2013. Then there was “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “Ant-Man,” and “Captain America: Civil War,” which is currently my favorite movie in the MCU. Also, you have to keep in mind, I don’t witness many people talking about the first “Call of Duty,” the second “Call of Duty,” anything along those lines. While it seems that a lot of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films are widely talked about today, I could tell you that when “The Avengers” came out, this is when a majority of people flocked to the theater to see these movies. Also keep in mind, this came out in 2012, the same year that “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Dark Knight Rises” came out. Both “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Dark Knight Rises” were successful at the box office, in fact in some cases, “The Dark Knight Rises” may have gotten more positive reception than “The Avengers,” the case isn’t really the same for “The Amazing Spider-Man.” Spider-Man and Batman are both argued among nerds all over the world between which is the better hero, they both get their own movie in the same year, and they are beat by “The Avengers.” Although when you think about it, it makes sense, you get more superheroes, some you may know, some you may not know, and the idea of “The Avengers,” unlike “Batman” and “Spider-Man,” hasn’t really been done much on screen. Although the “Fantastic Four” movies have more than one superhero and look how those movies turned out. However when you look back before and realize what “Spider-Man” did in terms of box office performance in 2002, such as being the only film to make $100 million in its opening weekend at the time, and how “The Dark Knight” not only won the box office in 2008, but avoided a comic book movie from having the slightest bit of childishness, this is kind of interesting to think about. The Marvel Cinematic Universe did have some successes before “The Avengers” like with the first two “Iron Man” films, and while 2011 brought “Thor” and “Captain America: The First Avenger,” they didn’t quite reach the top 10, making them get a lower score in the box office than “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1…” (sigh). Right now, if you can’t tell already, the box office isn’t a problem for the MCU, and I don’t think it will be in the future. However, I wonder about their movies in terms of quality.

There’s a saying that all good things come to an end. We all know we are going to die one day. OK, I’m not saying all people are good, just look at Adolf Hitler! You know movie franchises that have technically come to conclusions in the past? Just look at “Back to the Future,” “Jaws,” or “Revenge of the Nerds.” The people behind these movies knew when to stop, “Back to the Future” stopped at three movies suggesting that the characters’ futures are what they make them, and all three franchises according to popular opinion have never made a movie better than their first installment. You know what’s still going today? “Transformers,” “Sharknado,” “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” and “Fifty Shades.” Traditionally, these movies are not well received, however they are popular over a certain demographic. “Transformers” continues to make lots of money even though people are literally paying to see the same thing every time, “Sharknado” is on TV, but people watch it because it’s “so bad it’s good,” which I thought at first with the original, but upon rewatch it became worse, and the later installments are just plain awful, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is popular among families and kids, including some who know about the books, and while it was fun to watch as a kid, it became worse the more I thought about it. Not to mention their newest installment, if you haven’t heard about it, may be one of the most forced sequels in movie history, and for “Fifty Shades,” while it may be popular among women and those who have read the books, it wasn’t well received because of its characters, along with the fact that it is technically “porn” and yet the movie fails to deliver on that for a lot of people. Also ladies, for those of you crushing on Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey in the series, the actor says he didn’t want himself nude in the movie. If you’re gonna make a movie for women, that’s technically a porno, KNOW YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE! If you ask me, I haven’t seen any of the “Fifty Shades” movies, nor have I read the books, so I can’t really say my true thoughts about it, but I honestly don’t want to see or read it unless I have a girlfriend who wants to watch it and she feels like watching it with me, if it means I get to go to a free screening, or if someone is paying me to watch the movie. With Marvel, I can enjoy myself throughout the process of watching one of their movies, but how much longer will it take for me to not enjoy myself?

So far, two movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have been released this year, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” and “Spider-Man: Homecoming.” While I enjoyed parts of both movies, I thought both needed improvement. I said what I needed to about “Guardians 2,” but I didn’t really say much about “Spider-Man: Homecoming.” I thought they aced Peter Parker and Spider-Man for the most part, it could have been funnier, they had Iron Man in the movie but they played their cards right and kept the movie from turning into “Iron Man 4,” the AI annoyed me, and the villain was cool. I gave the movie a 7/10 in my review, and I said it would probably drop to a 6. For the record, I gave “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” a 6/10, which I also gave to “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” which was fun at times, but ultimately a disappointment. The only film I gave a lower score to in the MCU was for “Captain America: The First Avenger,” which was a 5/10. Based on this you can tell that Marvel is capable of making good movies, but every year since 2013, I’ve seen one Marvel film that is worthy of a 10/10 for me. In my top 10 MCU films, I have only one movie that is a 7/10 in my book, all the others are 8/10 at minimum. If “Thor: Ragnarok” isn’t a 10/10, then the streak I’m talking about is officially over. If you ask me, I’m somewhat excited as a Marvel movie lover for “Thor: Ragnarok,” but at the same time, worried. It looks like it could be a good movie, but the marketing makes it look like “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Now, I like “Guardians of the Galaxy,” but for a movie like this, I want a darker tone. You have Planet Hulk in this movie, it looks like there’s gonna be a lot of destruction on Asgard, and yet in the trailer they’re playing “Immigrant” by Led Zeppelin. Good song, but it makes me worried here. You can still have humor in the movie, you can still have flashy effects, and granted the effects look stunning in the trailers, but I want a darker vibe than what I’m getting when this movie comes out. Now, I’ll say if “Thor: Ragnarok” is a 9/10 or 8/10, that’d still be cool. Although if it’s a 7/10 or lower, I’d start to worry.

Also, you have to consider the fact that these movies are based on comic books, so they might be taking material from the comic books, and turning that into movie material. That’s fine, but part of me wonders, will we ever run out of good material to copy? I don’t read comic books all that much, but this is something I wonder similarly as a movie watcher. I wonder if we will stop seeing original material and start always seeing unoriginal material. Although comic books have been going on for years and we are still getting lots of new stuff, but they always do unoriginal stuff. They do stuff based on other sources, they do a new series or a spinoff with certain characters, or they might do gender or race swaps. If we want to keep these movies going, we either need to introduce new characters that haven’t been written in comic form or we need to get people writing new comic book material. This has been done before though, you guys know Harley Quinn? Her first appearance was actually in “Batman: The Animated Series.”

And if you think that comic book movies are stopping anytime soon, you’re completely under a rock. People continue to watch those movies, people keep making them, and they’re even making movies on villains, kind of like they did with “Suicide Squad.” That’s not all, Sony is coming out with a “Venom” movie in 2018 with Tom Hardy as the lead actor, and there’s also gonna be a “Joker” movie that I hear is gonna be in a different universe than the DCEU. In fact tonight, just when I thought I covered everything in this post, I took a break, thought I’d add some finishing touches a little later, ONLY TO FIND OUT MATT REEVES’S “BATMAN” MOVIE ISN’T GOING TO BE PART OF THE DCEU EITHER! What is happening? It’s becoming like “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” only instead of running out of food on an Island in the Atlantic, we’re running out of new and fresh movies quite possibly throughout the world, and instead of just having sardines to eliminate our hunger, we just have comic book films to fulfill our movie watching desires!

I love movies. I love comic book movies. I love Marvel Studios. Although at the same time, I’m concerned about its future. Maybe they’ll continue on creating original content and keep rocking it not only at the box office, not only on home video, but also in the minds of the viewers. As much as Marvel Studios makes good movies, there may be a day where it goes the way of McDonald’s, by that I mean there will be a MCU movie on every corner, and it may just be processed as opposed to crafted. Guys, I don’t think “Thor: Ragnarok” will be great, admittedly I’m excited for “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” If “Thor: Ragnarok” is good, there’s less of a chance I have of going into these MCU films in the future with a bit of skepticism. So I want to know, what are your thoughts on this? Also, what is a movie you want to see from Marvel Studios, but hasn’t happened yet?

Also I want to break a little announcement to you all, while I still plan to do reviews of new movies, I also want to tackle some older ones too. If you recall me doing my “Spider-Man” review series along with my Christopher Nolan review series, I’d like to let you know I’m doing another one. If you think about big action stars, I’d traditionally think about Liam Neeson (Taken, Non-Stop), Jason Statham (The Transporter, Death Race), Keanu Reeves (John Wick, The Matrix), and Vin Diesel (xXx, The Fast and the Furious). Another one I think of is someone who I’m starting a series on, that my friends is Tom Cruise. Over the years, Cruise has proven himself to be a very talented actor in many ways, and I’m gonna talk about three movies he stars in. I’m gonna be starting off with “The Last Samurai.” At some point I will include a review for “Risky Business,” I’m not sure where I’ll put it, either as my second or third review, but that will be an intention in the future. I will also be reviewing another movie Cruise is in, but I’m not sure what it is yet, you’ll find out when the review comes around! Stay tuned for those reviews, and Marvel Studios, if you are planning on continuing the universe for another 10 or 20 years, focus on the movies first, and focus on the money later. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Man Arrested For Pleasuring Himself at a Showing of The Emoji Movie *CHILDREN MAY READ AT THEIR OWN RISK*

Posted on by Jack Drees

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Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! In case you didn’t glance over the entire title of this post, this post is a bit unsuitable for younger viewers. This involves masturbation, so if you let your children read this blog, let them read at their own risk, otherwise, enjoy reading this! So, where was I? Oh yeah, right. Based on my recent reviews, my brain is scarred! I’m still alive, but I feel appalled. I recently reviewed “The Emoji Movie” and “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming,” I want something good to review! Speaking of terrible films such as “The Emoji Movie,” we’re actually going to talk about it. Not about the movie, not about its poor reception, not about how it’s an abomination against humanity and how it literally is a disgrace for solely existing, we’re gonna talk about one specific moviegoer who, let’s just say, “had some fun” at “The Emoji Movie.” I can’t freaking believe I’m saying that!

Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s dive into New Jersey, a US state with towns that have fascinating names including: Mahwah, Paramus, and Hackensack. There’s a theater called Xscape located in the town of Howell, a less interesting name, where the event of focus here occurred. During a showing of “The Emoji Movie,” “a white, heavyset man in his 20s or 30s” was one of the members of the audience during a showing on Thursday, August 3rd, and hopefully one of the ONLY members of the audience. There was also a woman there with her children, she noticed the man with his pants unzipped, stroking himself.

According to the woman there at the scene, she said the man “was seated alone in the back row of the theater.” If you ask me, you shouldn’t masturbate in a movie theater, especially if it’s a family film we’re talking about here, but I’ll give credit to the man for sitting in the back so nobody had to be distracted by him from behind. Nevertheless, despite what was said about this man being in his 20s or 30s, it turns out the man was actually 43 years old. His name is Abraham Parnes and he was charged with lewdness and left on a summons. You know what he didn’t leave with? A refund for his ticket for “The Emoji Movie.”

In all seriousness though, before the arrest occurred, the manager was aware of all this. The woman actually reported the incident to the manager, the manager came into the theater and told the guy to leave. Once the woman got home, she called the police, and the police eventually arrested the man.

There are multiple things that happen that very rarely take place, or might even occur only once, and remain that way. There’s only one time the Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series, not to mention there’s only one time they even made it to the World Series at all. Jimmy Carter served as the US president for only one term. The TV show “Firefly,” which is now beyond revered among the nerd community, only lasted for one season on FOX. Multiple things seem to happen only once, and never again. Masturbating in movie theaters IS NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

While cell phone use in movie theaters is a lot more common than masturbation in movie theaters, this is not a one-time thing. Another fellow who was once caught masturbating in a movie theater goes by the name of Paul Reubens, to some of you, this name might sound familiar. If it does, chances are you may know him as Pee-Wee Herman in “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” and as Lock in “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Between the releases of both pieces of work, Paul Reubens went to an adult theater in 1991, where he too was caught masturbating. He defended himself overtime in an interview to Playboy, but people still recall his arrest. So yeah, Paul had a hell of time with his pee-wee. My biggest question is this, what did Paul see in the theater? He went to an adult theater after all, so if it wasn’t related to porn then what excuse did he have to play with himself? Part of me wonders if what he was watching happened to be so boring that he had nothing better to do than jack off. He could have walked out of the auditorium and whipped it out at home, perhaps he could have purchased a Playboy Magazine beforehand! But apparently that wasn’t the best idea for him. So instead of buying a magazine from Playboy that could have made him avoid this incident, he attended an interview by Playboy which partially involved this incident. Now that I say all of this boredom stuff, I wonder if that was the reason for Abraham masturbating during “The Emoji Movie.” Was the movie too boring and he wanted to make the experience more interesting? In fact when I ask if the movie is boring, I know I’m asking a rhetorical question. Just look at the reviews for the movie! Here’s some quotes from a few:

JOHNNY OLEKSINSKI (New York Post): “Hear that? It’s the end of the world.”

MICHAEL ARBEITER (Nerdist): “perhaps the most convoluted high-concept science fiction film you’ll see all year.”

MARA REINSTEIN: (MaraMovies.com): “Excuse me while I scan my phone for the vomit emoji.”

This is a case of either getting bored or the moviegoer started getting horny after looking at Jailbreak or Flamenca. Anything could have happened to make the guy start stroking his “eggplant” but who knows what?

I will say, I never masturbated in a movie theater, I mean, why would I do that?! I’m there to watch a movie, not jerk off! If I went to a theater with the intention to jerk off, that would probably be a porn theater! Although chances are I can’t really go in one of those because I’m not eighteen yet. Plus I don’t even think any places like those even exist in the first place! I can imagine some theaters thought it was fine for some people to jerk off during films like “Showgirls” or “Fifty Shades of Grey” or “Secretary” or “Magic Mike.” OK, maybe I’m going too far with that, maybe they didn’t think it’s “fine,” it would likely get the seats wet but maybe they thought it was somewhat, well, let’s say, “understandable.”

I could ask if you have ever done anything dirty in a movie theater but that just seems extremely eccentric, so instead I’ll ask this. What is the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed in a movie theater? It could be anything, it could be a movie, it could be anything in the bathroom, it could involve a person, anything. Let me know in the comments! Also, be sure to check out my review for “The Emoji Movie!” I have the link for it below if you want to check it out, it’s a good read! Another thing I’ll state is that I don’t know what I’ll see next, I do have intentions to see “The Glass Castle,” hopefully I could see something before next weekend because I’ll be at Terrificon in Uncasville, CT! If you’re at the Mohegan Sun casino and happen to recognize my face from August 18-August 20, be sure to say hi if you want to! Also if you want more info on the convention itself, I have a post dedicated to it that’s essentially a preview. Tickets are still available for the event although if you want tickets for it, get them quick because Saturday and Sunday tickets are selling fast, not to mention, the convention is less than a week away! Stay tuned for more posts and reviews, and I hope I can see something soon, even if it’s worse than “The Emoji Movie!” Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

“THE EMOJI MOVIE” REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2017/08/02/the-emoji-movie-2017-a-literal-pile-of-sir-patrick-stewart-warning-strong-language/

MY TERRIFICON PREVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/announcement-im-going-to-terrificon-at-mohegan-sun-in-uncasville-ct/

TERRIFICON WEBSITE: http://www.terrificon.com/home.html