Cinema

Mission: Impossible III (2006): The Young and the Fearless *SPOILERS*

Posted on by Jack Drees

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read the third review in some jackass’s series. The series can go by a number of names, might not even go by a name at all, but it makes up of all “Mission: Impossible” films starring Tom Cruise. If this mission is unacceptable to you, there are other “Mission: Impossible” films which the particular jackass has reviewed prior to this one. Those include the two films released earlier in the franchise, also starring Tom Cruise. As always, should you or any of your Force be caught or killed, the Movie Reviewing Moron will disavow any of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/mission-impossible-1996-this-movie-review-will-self-destruct-in-five-seconds/

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/mission-impossible-ii-2000-impossible-to-enjoy/

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“Mission: Impossible III” is directed by JJ Abrams (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lost) and stars Tom Cruise (The Last Samurai, The Firm), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Almost Famous, The Big Lebowski), Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Lilo & Stitch), Billy Crudup (Big Fish, Princess Mononoke), Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Bourne Supremacy), Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Match Point, Vanity Fair), Keri Russell (Felicity, Malibu Shores), Maggie Q (Nikita, Live Free or Die Hard), and Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix, Mystic River). This film is about Ethan Hunt, who is marrying Michelle Monaghan’s character of Julia, while at the same time, he has to face an arms dealer who threatens both him and the girl whom Hunt intends to marry.

This is my third installment in my Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” review series. I’ve already covered my thoughts on the first installment, which I thoroughly enjoyed and the more I think about it, the better it actually gets. The second movie, honestly was a fail and a half. It had some neat cinematography and some neat action with real cuts added to Cruise’s face during the final fight by the way. The “Mission: Impossible” movies, regardless of how good or bad they are when watching them, can become more interesting once you take a gander at the work put into them. This third installment is no exception. Tom Cruise once again does his own stunts, very pleasing to hear personally. This is also the first feature film directed by JJ Abrams, and its budget believe it or not is quite an expensive one for a first time feature film director coming in around $150 million. And the best part about this movie is that it is better than “Mission: Impossible II.” However, it does not mean that this film is perfect. I’ve actually watched the film in two sittings. I did so for two reasons. First, the Celtics-Cavs Eastern Conference Finals game was on. Second, I was kind of bored during the first half-hour at times. As I watched this movie, there were some times where I almost thought about checking out. I came close, but I survived. The story of the movie is nothing I raved about, in fact at times I almost got angry with it because it didn’t feel like an action movie like it’s supposed to be and felt more like a soap opera at times. And there’s your reason for my review title “The Young and the Fearless.” I may be cheating with this because I never watched the whole movie, but it kind of reminded me of “Jaws: The Revenge,” but nowhere near as excessive or terrible.

Say what you want about JJ Abrams. I know a friend who saw his “Star Trek” reboot, she’s a massive “Star Trek” fan and couldn’t be more dissatisfied with it. I am a huge “Star Wars” lover and I found his film, “The Force Awakens” to be one of the best “Star Wars” films ever made. Regardless of how pissed my friend is about “Star Trek” and how happy I am about “Star Wars,” I found “Mission: Impossible III” to kind of be in between those two in terms of the score. Ultimately, “Mission: Impossible III” is somewhere around the average range.

“Mission: Impossible: III” serves its purpose as an action movie where Tom Cruise kicks ass and takes names. Although with that comes some moments where you wonder how much longer the movie has left in terms of runtime and a relationship you kind of WANT to care about, but simultaneously when it comes to that part of the movie you can’t help not giving a single s*it. I buy into the chemistry between Cruise and Monaghan’s characters, but if I had to pick something that I believe deteriorates the film’s overall quality and my ability to fully enjoy it, that would be the #1 aspect of the film I’d choose.

In fact, when it comes to this movie, my favorite things about it have nothing to do with story and characters. I like the characters in the movie, but the real thing that keeps this movie going is the action, Michael Giacchino’s awesome score, and something I never usually point out, the lighting. The lighting in this movie is vivid and colorful at times and felt very suitable for a modern day action flick such as this one. His version of the “Mission: Impossible” theme is similar to Danny Elfman’s, who did the theme for the 1996 “Mission: Impossible” film. And honestly, it’s just as good, which is saying something because I really do admire Danny Elfman’s theme. I also gotta say that when it comes to choosing someone to score this movie, Michael Giacchino’s a great pick, because this is the same guy who did the score for 2004’s “The Incredibles,” and thinking about both intellectual properties, the ideal music I’d think of when it comes to both sound rather similar to each other. I mean, over the years, Giacchino has shown that he has more range in his music than the sounds and visions presented in “The Incredibles” and “Mission: Impossible: III,” but if I heard Giacchino was announced to do the score for this movie back in the 2000s and I had already seen “The Incredibles,” I’d be completely sold.

I know I already said a lot about Tom Cruise, but seriously, I gotta give credit where credit is undoubtedly due, the dude can act, he can do stunts, he can do action, just give him any movie script and he can automatically make the movie better. I will say though, as much as it is a treat to see the character of Ethan Hunt on screen, I wouldn’t say his reasons for having anything to do with the movie made him shine like a star. He, just like a lot of the characters in this film for the most part, feel somewhat wasted. There’s something about them, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly that something could be.

And while I will say that most of the characters feel like they don’t stand out, one character who not only stands out, but also stands tall is Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character of Owen Davian. I… LOVE. THIS GUY. If I weren’t into the technical aspects of movies or action and mainly focused around movie characters, Owen Davian, the film’s main villain, was spectacular in just about every sense of the word. His interactions with other characters, his threatening presence that you as a viewer are automatically subjected to during the film’s beginning, and Hoffman’s performance. Davian is probably my favorite character in the movie, and I gotta say, RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman, you knocked this character out of the park.

Last but not least, this is getting into spoiler territory, so you have been warned. But I want to talk about how Hoffman dies in this movie. He and Cruise are fighting each other and it’s kinda thrilling. They’re outside, and at one point, Cruise is lying on the road. Hoffman is on top of him. Then this truck comes in, it’s very fast, and SHABANG! It makes contact with Hoffman, Cruise is lying under it avoiding the possibility of getting ran over, then seconds later, you see a black shoe that is obviously Hoffman’s. F*cking brilliant. That death is perhaps the one of funniest I’ve seen in the movie, at least for a major villain. The only thing that would make the death funnier is if the truck actually happened to be an ice cream truck playing music, or when Hoffman got hit, you’d hear a Wilhelm scream.

In the end, “Mission: Impossible III” is definitely a much more watchable movie than the gosh-awful “Mission: Impossible II.” Tom Cruise is great, JJ Abrams had a great movie directorial debut, and I have to praise a lot of the technical aspects of the film as well. However, this movie to me does have its issues, and the issues absolutely deteriorate the score. As much as I appreciate the script being about character building, I just wanted more action. And somehow when I was going through the action, it just didn’t satisfy me. I felt like it was just going on for a tad too long in certain sequences. That’s just me though. So for now, I say for now, because this definitely might change in the future depending on what happens. I’m going to give “Mission: Impossible III” a 6/10. This is not a bad movie, very enjoyable indeed, and I’d probably give it another watch in the future, but if the movie adjusts a few things here and there, the score would definitely boost. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’ll have my review up for “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” I’m seeing that movie tonight and as I promised, I’ll have my review for it up tomorrow. As for other reviews, I still have to see “Deadpool 2,” I might go see a movie this weekend, maybe that’ll be the one, we’ll have to see. But summer’s comin’, which only means I have a lot more free time, and a lot more content that can definitely be produced. So with that in mind, stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, what are your thoughts on “Mission: Impossible III?” Or, as sick as a question as this may sound, I’m somewhat curious to know your opinions on this. What is the funniest death you’ve ever seen in a movie? Now don’t kill me for saying that, I have no motivation to kill any of you, so I don’t see why you should have a motivation for doing the same to me. If you all have a perfectly sane mindset, just jot your thoughts down in the comments section, I’d appreciate hearing them. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Life of the Party (2018): 2018’s Mother’s Day Crowd Comedy

Posted on by Jack Drees

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“Life of the Party” is directed by Ben Falcone (What to Expect When You Are Expecting, The Boss) and stars Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, Tammy), Gillian Jacobs (Community, Walk of Shame), and Debby Ryan (Jessie, The Suite Life on Deck). This movie is about a mother and ex-wife named Deanna, and I say ex-wife because the movie kind of kicks into gear once the character’s husband asks for a divorce. Deanna eventually thinks it would be reasonable for her to go back to college and complete her quest to getting a degree.

“Life of the Party” is undoubtedly the biggest movie of the weekend trying to stop “Avengers: Infinity War” from getting any more money out of the pockets of viewers. By the way, if this movie wanted to go for #1 this weekend, a number of us box office investigators would say nope, that’s not happening. Ever heard of China? Big country, tons of people live there. “Avengers: Infinity War” just hit theaters there, so Disney is only gonna get richer from here. I will say speaking of which, if there were one movie between this and “Infinity War” that I would choose to watch, prior to going into this one or the other for the first time, I’d say “Infinity War” and thus continue Disney’s quest to becoming another group of rich snobs that won’t reveal the cure for cancer. I say this because this movie looked like it was going to be nothing except a lazy attempt on cashing in on the name Melissa McCarthy, not to mention, cashing in on the name “Mother’s Day.” The trailers had no jokes I liked, except for one which I may be biased about because it has to do with “Star Wars,” and this movie is directed by the same guy who directed “Tammy,” also starring Melissa McCarthy. That’s a movie which I didn’t see, but having known about it, I’m glad I avoided it.

“Life of the Party” was never my most anticipated movie of the year. Personally, it’s pretty hard for me to hype up a comedy because they’re usually all the same or we’re just running out of new funny material. When it comes to some of the content shown during the film, you do get that typical Hollywood studio comedy feel you might get out of a number of other movies. Sometimes that feel can be provided in a decent movie, such as last month’s “Blockers,” or it can be total trash like in last year’s “Snatched.” And honestly, when it comes to this movie given how I’ve now watched it, I gotta say I wish I never set my eyes upon it! This is probably one of the worst comedies I’ve seen throughout the span of the decade!

My gosh, have you ever wanted to go blind so bad that you wanted to take two 9mm pistols and shoot em at your eyeballs? There was a point where I wanted to do that so f*cking bad during this goddamn piece of crap! And now that I’m sitting here and I have other things to think about, I wouldn’t mind doing that in a garbage bin, full of trash, with a group of flies going around said bin, while on fire! I’m not gonna give my final verdict yet, it’s a bit too early for that, but I’m gonna warn you all, this is currently my worst movie of 2018 thus far!

Remember how I mentioned this movie is competing against “Avengers: Infinity War?” One thing that helps both movies a little bit is that they’re being advertised towards different kinds of people. “Avengers: Infinity War” is more for action lovers, comic book junkies, and anyone who has been following the universe it contains for a long time. “Life of the Party” is marketed towards mainly those of mature age, and its overall main points to deliver are the following:

  1. Moms are cool, spend your mother’s day weekend watching this.
  2. Come for the laughs.
  3. What was that again? It’s Mother’s Day! What other time are you gonna see this?

Let’s take a look at point 2. This movie is supposed to be a comedy. And sure, it does have some laughs. I was in a nearly full auditorium with a high number of people who seemed to be enjoying themselves while watching this. They were laughing a crapton more than I was for sure. Me? I was just about ready to kill myself. It was just standard humor, you’ve got physical comedy, sex jokes, Melissa McCarthy playing herself despite having a different look to her, and whatever other little thing could be injected into a piece of crap such as this to make me want to go jump off a cliff. “Avengers: Infinity War” is funnier than this! Hard to believe me when I say that now isn’t it? “Avengers: Infinity War” isn’t even a comedy! It has humor in it, sure, but it IS NOT a comedy! I may be biased because on paper, if I haven’t seen either this movie or that movie, I’d go see “Avengers: Infinity War” before “Life of the Party” just from what I know going in. However, if you are LABELED a COMEDY, you have one job. MAKE ME LAUGH. Did I laugh? Sure, I chuckled, made some noises here and there. But when I’m laughing louder than the Wicked Witch of the West during an ACTION movie and making noises like an emotionless android during a COMEDY movie, there’s a problem.

In fact, part of what made the comedy in this movie fail for me is that it was just awkward. It was sometimes just full of cringe and as if nobody truly gave a s*it about what they were doing! Part of the movie’s overall comedy involves Melissa McCarthy being the fish out of water at college due to her age, and if I were a student there, I’d tell her to pipe down and focus! Gosh! No wonder teachers are always trying to shush students!

Speaking of Melissa McCarthy, let’s talk a bit about her character. This character goes by the name of Deanna. Having already established that she and her husband are divorced and she’s in college with her daughter, Deanna actually goes down a route that I kind of didn’t expect for her character, and surprisingly, as much as I’m s*ittalking this movie, I don’t mean that in a bad way. I was somewhat expecting her daughter and her friends to be somewhat embarrassed that Deanna’s in her current position. However, while we do end up seeing that embarrassment from Deanna’s daughter, not to mention other characters at a number of moments, she starts off generally well-liked by the daughter’s social group, and remains that way for the movie’s runtime.

One thing I gotta say about this movie that I’ve yet to say… It’s a roller coaster. And by that I mean, it’s one of the most vomit-inducing rides I’ve had in my entire life. A LOT HAPPENS in an hour and forty five minutes! When I was watching this movie, it felt like it was a large combination of story elements meshed into one product. And honestly, the more I think about this movie, the more I question the very ideas of time and space themselves! This movie, like most comedies, is less than two hours, and the exact runtime is an hour and forty-five minutes. As I watched this movie, I thought it was ten to twenty minutes too long. I was almost convinced that this movie almost makes the two hour mark! Now I’m just saying to myself, make this movie shorter! It has a lot in it! Focus on a shorter amount of story points! I’m getting a f*cking headache! And you know what? I take back everything I just said! I know how to get the PERFECT runtime for this movie! Grab every copy of the script, and put em in a paper shredder, a fire, a recycling bin, let the dog eat every morsel of it, I don’t f*cking care, just eradicate each and every copy! And if the script was originally created online! Delete every trace of it!

One thing that kind of shocks me despite how much I hate this movie is that I could have been a tad more bored. Don’t get me wrong, I was bored as s*it, but compared to other movies I’ve seen, I was able to understand what was happening. I didn’t care about what was happening, I was endlessly regretting my life choices, and there was definitely a point where I checked out, but I could have been more bored. Although I will say, that statement might be saying something because my boredom levels were not low for sure.

I won’t get into spoiler territory, because believe it or not, there are actually people out there who want to check this movie out, but something happens in this movie. It involves a very well known celebrity. I won’t say their name, but this person is revealed to have some sort of link with someone. If this link were in a different movie, I honestly don’t know how I would have reacted. But here, in a moment that might be shocking to some people, I just uttered one word to myself, and that was just a sarcastic “Yeah.”

Also, I gotta mention once again, this movie is kind of typical for a Hollywood comedy, and this movie reminds me of another movie I saw which I thought was “fine” when I saw it, but got so much worse the more I thought about it, and that is “Bad Moms.” The main difference between “Bad Moms” and this movie is that “Bad Moms” involves more than just one mom, and it revolves around moms as a primary point. This movie revolves around one mom in particular, and the rest of the characters are others at college, a celebrity cameo, and folks the main character knows. There are so many things that occur in this movie that also occur in “Bad Moms” that it just makes me ask myself if Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone, the two people who have writing credits for “Life of the Party,” which if you think about it, makes sense since they’re husband and wife, watched “Bad Moms” and thought about slightly remaking it with a plot heavily involving college! Once I saw a scene where the daughter is trying to get the mother to change her look and her outfit, I just questioned my very existence on this Earth. It very much reminded me, although not nearly as much, of how “The Emoji Movie” might as well be a carbon copy of “The LEGO Movie” and “Inside Out!” F*ck this movie!

By the way, not that it’s relevant, but why did “Bad Moms” have to try to convince us that Mila Kunis is ugly? She was #2 on AskMen’s Top 99 Women for 2013, she was Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive in 2012, and she’s been on Maxim’s Hot 100 list more than once! Just askin’, that’s all. I mean, maybe I guess it shows Kunis’s range, but I don’t see her as ugly.

In the end, “Life of the Party” is probably worth putting to death. I don’t think there’s another movie I saw this year that is worse than this piece of s*it. Melissa McCarthy plays herself. The jokes are conventional and unfunny. And after watching this schlock, I… kinda lost the will to live. So, if I die soon, I just want everyone to know, I’d prefer a funeral over cremation or backyard burial, and if any of my close friends or relatives, that includes parents, have more important things to do, it’s all cool. In fact, you don’t have to make it sad and depressing, you can even do a dance party with energetic music as some people go around my casket to symbolize my youth! “Life of the Party” is nothing but a lazy cash-in! It stole my $5 Fandango promo code I won on this year’s Monopoly Collect & Win Game available at several grocery stores, not to mention some of my mother’s money on a card! And before I give my final verdict, why do I always have to go the theater and watch a terrible movie on Mother’s Day? In 2016, I watched “Mother’s Day,” one of the most horribly written cash-ins on a holiday of all time. In 2017, I watched “The Circle,” which wasted the talent of a ton of big actors including but not limited to Tom Hanks, Emma Watson, and Patton Oswalt. This year, it’s “Life of the Party.” Thanks, Hollywood for a wonderful streak! I’m going to give “Life of the Party” a 1/10. Speaking of opinions on this movie, someone on IMDb reviewed the movie and they said it reminded them of the sitcom on “Family Guy” Brian and James Woods worked on minus the monkey. Personally, that nails the movie on the nose. It’s unfunny, wild, and while it seems predictable in some ways, it’s unpredictable in worse ways than one can imagine.

Thanks for reading this review! Next weekend, “Deadpool 2” is out in theaters, and I have my eyes set on seeing it around that time, so stay tuned for my review for that if I ever get around to it! Also, be sure to stay tuned for the third review in my series of Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” films, “Mission: Impossible III!” Aside from those two things, be sure to stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Life of the Party?” What did you think about it? Or, did you guys see “Tammy?” I actually want to know your thoughts on that too. I say that because the same director who did this movie directed “Tammy” and I honestly want to watch “Tammy” to compare both films side-by-side! I heard “Tammy” was widely regarded as an atrocity, but I want to know some specific thoughts from those who have seen it. Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Commuter (2018): When “A Particular Set of Skills” Die In a Trainwreck

Posted on by Jack Drees

Before we dive into my review for “The Commuter.” I’d just like to ask you something. When you go on a train, what is it like? For me, it might differ than the average person’s opinion. While some may say that going on a train is just something they do like a bunch of other people to get from point A to point B, and some may say it’s not their favorite thing in the world, but necessary, I prefer to call it an experience. Personally, I love trains. Maybe it’s because I don’t have to ride them everyday, but I’m what you may call a “railfan,” which is another way of saying “train enthusiast.” They honestly make me feel like a little kid at times. Speaking of which, allow me to introduce once more a couple who will be having a little kid of their own, Genevieve and Paul. They’ve tried really hard, they’ve came out victorious after an infinite amount of trainwrecks (insert drum rimshot). This is all explained in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a relatively new web series on YouTube. Yes, YouTube, not YouTube Red. The one where you can watch things for free, keep your wallets in your pocket. In this series Genevieve and Paul document their journey to conception, which to them, is basically reproductive rocket science. Also, I keep saying every single time I promote this, that these two have to suffer through an overwhelming number of needle injections. Guess what? Now’s the time you get to see that! (insert “The Price Is Right” fail horn). In their latest episode, titled “Shots! Shots! Shots!,” it’s needle injections galore! This is why the two geniuses behind this series decided to upload two versions. One where you can see the needles, and another where the needles are censored out by a dog’s face. I watched the needle version, and I honestly thought it was the most disturbing episode in the entire series, personally because I HATE needles, which personally enhanced the experience. You guys make your choice on which episode you want to watch, I’m not here to judge you. To watch all the episodes in the series go to the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel and watch to your heart’s content! Be sure to subscribe, ring their bell, check out and follow their other social media HQs, and be sure to tell them I sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“The Commuter” is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Non-Stop, The Shallows) and stars Liam Neeson (Taken, Unknown) as a man who lives in New York. When he’s not with his family there’s a good chance he’s working. One day he’s coming home on the train, and he meets this girl named Joanna (Vera Farmiga). She explains a task she’s offering to Liam Neeson’s character, Michael MacCauley, that someone on this train does not belong, and this eventually leads to people’s lives being put at risk, and most unfortunately to MacCauley, the lives of his own family.

This movie is directed by the same guy who directed a movie I saw in 2016 which I highly adored, “The Shallows.” I thought it was a really intriguing shark movie with some neat cinematography. Also, Blake Lively’s a bombshell. Not that it has anything to do with movie, but I must say she rocks a bathing suit for sure. But I must say I’m disappointed she never watched “Jaws” prior to making the film. Anyways, I really like “The Shallows,” I thought it was pretty well directed for the most part, I think there was too much blood at times. Not that it scares me, but I thought it was kind of unrealistic.

When it comes to this movie, there are a couple moments that really stand out. For example, when Michael is commuting to the city, you can see all the different times he’s commuting, and it’s easy to tell by the movie’s color palette. At first it was a little jumpy, but the more I thought about it, the more I appreciated it. There’s also a moment that I can quite possibly praise the writing and directing. MacCauley is walking through Grand Central, and it shows a mix of crowds, which might as well signify different times he goes to work. Speaking of the beginning, I thought they nailed the vibe of a commuter train on a busy workday. Somewhat depressing, and just a plethora of progress. The music says everything. There’s also one shot I really like that’s a constant zoom out from one train car to the next. Speaking of cinematography, this movie, much like some others I’ve seen recently in the action genre (Kingsman: The Secret Service, Atomic Blonde), has an extended one shot take of an action sequence. Liam Neeson and Vera Farmiga play their roles with excellence. What’s the other thing? Liam Neeson beats a guy up using a guitar! And for the most part, that’s what the movie’s positives contain. The rest of it, sadly is kind of boring and not as interesting.

While “The Commuter” is certainly not the best it can be, it certainly can be a lot worse. Without stating my final verdict, this movie allows you to kind of care about the main character despite not knowing too too much about his life, and enjoy some decent action. Neeson did sound like he was trying, but all in all he was just in a movie that served a purpose, but the purpose which it served could have been more well executed. In fact, even if he wasn’t trying, I at least imagined that HE would have thought this movie would have come out with some positivity. And I say that because he and the director of this film have worked together before in projects including “Unknown,” “Non-Stop,” and “Run All Night.” I’m not saying those movies belong in the all time greatest movies list, but they are all from what I heard, competent pictures. I haven’t seen any of them so I can’t really judge for myself, but I haven’t heard too many bad things about them from others. I own “Non-Stop” on Blu-ray which I actually hear this movie’s similar to in a number of ways. After seeing this movie, I actually kind of want to watch “Non-Stop” to compare the two and decide for myself which is the better movie.

I already mentioned a lot about Liam Neeson in this movie. He plays a character named Michael MacCauley, he’s really good in terms of acting, and you totally buy into his character. I had no problems with Liam Neeson, at least none that completely come to mind. I mentioned in one of my reviews, specifically for “John Wick: Chapter 2,” that Liam Neeson is up there as one of my favorite actor when it comes to what he can do in the action genre. The guy is the definition of “Hey there kid! I’m sixty-something years of age and if you don’t give me what I want I’ll kick your arse!” And he continues to prove that in “The Commuter.”

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One character in this movie is played by Jonathan Banks (Breaking Bad, Gremlins) and he goes by the name of Walt. Apologies for not having an image of his character, there were none on IMDb, and that’s the source I usually use for these sorts of things. I thought his performance was competent enough, almost looked like a honed in performance, but it felt like it was enough during my watch to seem as if Banks was actually giving a damn. I won’t go into spoiler territory, but something happens to his character that’s very important towards developing the plot, and had I gotten to know him better, I honestly thought it would have made the overall movie a little more intriguing, especially in that one particular moment I won’t get into.

This movie is an hour and forty-five minutes long. I gotta say, this is not exactly the most boring movie I’ve watched all year, that title belongs to “The 15:17 to Paris,” which is interesting because that too involves part of the movie taking place on a train. One thing that I will say however, is that this movie at times, feels like a snooze-fest. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any cool, awesome moments to enjoy in this movie, but it just means the film sometimes becomes dull and it’s something that you have to deal with. “The Commuter” does have a place in our society, and luckily, that place, is not the garbage bin. Although with its place in our society, I do think it has some questionable traits it brings along the way. One most notably towards the end of the film, but I’m not even sure how long that complaint of mine will last because I’m not even sure if what I even saw was real. Again, this movie is dull! Forgive me for my sins against humanity!

In the end, “The Commuter” is not the worst of movies, but also is far from the best of them. Liam Neeson provides a decent performance in this hour and a half action flick to for me to say, hey, nice to see Liam Neeson. Depending on who you are, if you watch this movie, you might not remember it for the rest of your life, and I do think that this will probably be one of those movies that will make for good background noise at a party. Or it can be background noise for literally anything else. I can imagine this movie being on some network like TBS and some people tuning into the channel to the point they say, “Hey, it’s Liam Neeson, cool dude. Let’s see this guy kick some ass!” However, it’s not enough for me, but I give the movie credit for trying. I’m going to give “The Commuter” a 5/10. The best thing about this movie is that it’s not taking too many shots to show Liam Neeson climbing over a fence.

(Sigh) “Taken 3.”

Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’ll have my review up for “Life of the Party” starring Melissa McCarthy, and as far as next weekend goes, “Deadpool 2” is coming out, so I think my plans may be set there. Until then, I ask all of you to stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “The Commuter?” What did you think about it? In case you don’t know, I actually missed it in theaters, I waited for the home video release, and I bought the 4K at Best Buy a couple weeks after it released on that format. I’ll also ask, of all the collaborations between Liam Neeson and Jaume Collet-Serra, which one is your favorite? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Isle of Dogs (2018): The Collision of PG-13 Animation and Wes Anderson

Posted on by Jack Drees

Before we dive into the review for “Isle of Dogs,” let me just take a second to remind that this movie involves a search for a lost dog. When it comes to owning a dog, I’m well aware that the owner must take massive responsibility over it to avoid negative consequences.

That is unless, you know, you own Zuul from “Ghostbusters,” in which case, you’re in for the exact opposite of a treat, and face every negative consequence in the book.

You might also say that having a dog is a lot like having a kid. You have to take care of it, you have to spend money on it, and sometimes you have to keep a good eye on it. One married couple who will be taking on the responsibility of a kid one day will be a dynamic duo by the name of Genevieve and Paul. While they’re not technically responsible for a kid just yet, they are having one soon. The journey to get to where they are in terms of having a kid brought lots of hardships, as explained, in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a relatively new YouTube channel and series created by Genevieve and Paul, the couple mentioned earlier, and it is about their journey to conception. The journey however is not easy, and according to them, it lasts about 2 years! Join Genevieve and Paul as they deal with small victories such as those times when they get to relax and not have to worry about results for awhile. They also deal with big defeats such as an insane amount of needle injections, it’s absolutely freaking crazy! You can watch the series on YouTube and new episodes are uploaded to the channel every Monday. The latest episode in the series, episode 9, is all about PGD. Turns out that Genevieve has premutation fragile x and she needs to find a way to prevent passing this to her future child. There’s even a segment that describes the overall creepiness of parents sending DNA for the sake of their children! It’s pretty wild! Be sure to subscribe to the channel if you like the content uploaded, maybe hit the notification bell, and discover more from “What the IVF?” on other online platforms. Also, tell them Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Isle of Dogs” is directed by Wes Anderson (Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Grand Budapest Hotel) and includes a cast of people such as Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle), Koyu Rankin, Edward Norton (The Incredible Hulk, American History X), Bob Balaban (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 2010: The Year We Make Contact), Bill Murray (Ghostbusters, Stripes), Jeff Goldblum (Jurassic Park, Independence Day), Liev Schreiber (My Little Pony: The Movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine), Tilda Swinton (Doctor Strange, Snowpiercer), F. Murray Abraham (Scarface, Homeland), Harvey Keitel (Reservoir Dogs, Thelma & Louise) and Scarlett Johansson (Iron Man 2, Her). This movie takes place in Japan and is about a young boy named Atari who is in search for his lost dog.

Going into this movie, I kind of knew what to expect, but at the same time, I was still wondering what was in store. For one thing, I’ve already seen a couple of Wes Anderson films, so I can get sense as to what his style is when it comes to filmmaking. It’s all rather fast-paced, smooth, and kind of wacky. “Isle of Dogs” is no exception to this rule.

This movie has tons of still shots that try to show a vast environment. There are lots of centered shots that will give you a view of someone or something. That technique strays away from a rule that a number of filmmakers will often use in their work, the rule of thirds. There are many shots in this film that almost command your attention and won’t let you look anywhere else, and I personally as a viewer sometimes see that as a benefit. I say that because if I for example, happened to watch this in a theater, I can just look down the middle and avoid having to turn my eyes or my head to observe everything of importance.

I’m not saying all the movie’s shots are like this however, just take this one for example, as this one has one of the dogs close up on the left, and more further back on the right. As a viewer, I’d probably be more attracted into looking on the left side of the frame than I would on the right because there’s a subject that’s closer up.

Needless to say, partially because you might as well say this has already been implied, the movie’s cinematography is spot on. The wide angles these shots provide are sure to allow the viewer to see more from side to side, and I cannot imagine the movie being shown in any other aspect ratio because of it.

Also, this movie’s stop motion animation is nothing short of breathtaking. Every little detail provided just makes you wonder how it was done, and makes me personally a bit excited for the home video release so I can possibly receive some of the tidbits behind all of this in the bonus features. This is not the first time the world has witnessed a stop motion movie from Wes Anderson. That’s because the first time was in 2010 with “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” which is based on a book written by acclaimed children’s author Roald Dahl. I never saw the film from start to finish, but it is something I’ve always wanted to get into because having known for some time about Anderson, he’s a fairly praised director and I personally want to get into more of his work. And I feel like this very movie is a fine example of what could qualify as the awesomeness provided from said guy’s work.

Now the main boy’s name in this movie is Atari, and as I watched this film, it almost made me want to make my own movie with a character named Atari. If I do make said film, I’d jokingly say somewhere in the script that his character is 2600 years old. Anyway, the boy is played by Koyu Rankin and I praise the casting for this movie making this kid be played by someone who is part Japanese. Fun fact about this movie by the way, I didn’t really get too annoyed by this character, but I have a feeling some audience members who go into this film will feel that way, because this kid in the movie speaks Japanese. I live in the United States and speak English, and I have a feeling that some folks who see this movie, regardless of whether they live in the United States, Canada, Spain, or a bunch of other countries will be annoyed because the character doesn’t speak their native language. And no, there are no subtitles provided during this film. There are characters who speak English however. They give a warning to viewers in the start of the film that says “All barks have been rendered into English.” Speaking of which…

Let’s talk about some dogs in this movie. And I have a feeling that I talked about this before on here, but in case you don’t know…

I hate dogs.

At this point, you probably want to put a dragon in front of me, and take me out for what you may consider to be “the good of mankind.” First off, please don’t, that’s murder. And second, my hatred for dogs doesn’t change the fact that I really admired the dogs in this film. The cast is perfect! You’ve got Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, Edward Norton. All of them deliver excellent voiceover performances. As far as the writing goes, each dog delivers a taste of themselves that separates them from the rest of the crew. All of them have similar sounding names (all resemble a form of a leader), but in the end, the dogs are all individuals that just make up a team. And I gotta say that some of the best parts script-wise come from when they work as a team. These parts involve fighting, discovering what’s yet to be found, discussing rumors, and one thing that really stuck out to me, their constant need to vote as a group. One other dog that wasn’t really part of the main crew that I really liked was the character of Nutmeg, played by Scarlett Johansson. She was a love interest to one of the dogs and I kind of admired their little flirtationship. It’s also perfect casting too for an ideal love interest, although I imagine this is totally up to every viewer’s interpretation, because Scarlett Johansson’s got a deep voice that can capture a man into looking at her, talking to her, and eventually admiring her. I may be biased because if you follow me on this blog, you may have seen a post or two of me endlessly admiring Scarlett Johansson, maybe a little more than I should… But anywho, Scarlett Johansson’s performance was well done here, I bought into the chemistry between and her and Chief (Bryan Cranston) and their interactions were, no pun intended, a treat.

Another highlight for me in this film is one of the major English-speaking characters that doesn’t identify as a dog, and she goes by the name of Tracy Walker, played by Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird, 20th Century Women). She’s a foreign exchange student and she sees something in Megasacki City’s new mayor, Kobayashi, that others don’t. She plays a big role in the film, and this is something that others see as a problem because this makes the movie look “dehumanizing” towards Asian culture and it feels out of place by having someone white take an active part in the movie’s overall plot of trying to save dogs and tarnish the new mayor. I personally don’t see her character in that way. The way that her character is used here makes the Japanese characters appear as if they’re brainwashed. This is not to say however that all the Japanese are brainwashed in real life. This does play into how Gerwig’s character is getting a different perspective as someone who is visiting Japan as opposed to living there. Think of it as if this were “The LEGO Movie,” and Kobayashi were President Business. If you make that connection and think about both movies along with their individual characters, you’ll see some similarities between the villains, and the majority of people who have no choice but to bow down to their leader.

In the end, “Isle of Dogs” is fun, charming, well put together, and at certain times, epic. Seriously, listen to the music for this movie! Thus far, this movie competes with “Annihilation” to be my favorite original movie score of 2018! Also, adults, if you want to watch this with your kids, I wouldn’t say “don’t,” but I’d also say take precautions. This movie does have some foul language in it so beware. It’s not as raunchy or dark as 2016’s “Sausage Party,” but this movie is PG-13 for a reason. I’m going to give “Isle of Dogs” an 8/10. This is a well done animation, another great piece of work from Wes Anderson, and an overall wonderful story. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’m going to be publishing a post related to “Avengers: Infinity War,” and no, it’s not a review, I already did that. But if you want to read my review for the movie, which by the way, is spoiler-free, click the link at the end of the post. Stay tuned for more great content! Also let me just have you know that some of you around the world will have this post first published to you on May 4th, so May the 4th Be With You, Happy Star Wars Day, and I also hope you enjoy the following day, Revenge of the Fifth! I want to know, did you see “Isle of Dogs?” What did you think about it? Also, do you think this or “Fantastic Mr. Fox” is the better movie? Leave your comments down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/04/27/avengers-infinity-war-2018-2018s-movie-event-of-the-year/

Mission: Impossible II (2000): Impossible To Enjoy

Posted on by Jack Drees

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read through some jackass’s review of “Mission: Impossible II.” Make sure you read through everything if your enjoyment levels are high. If your enjoyment levels are not high, please seek some counseling or other reading material. This is one of five reviews being done in preparation for the same jackass’s review for “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” As always, should you or any of your Force be caught or killed, the Movie Reviewing Moron will disavow any of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

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“Mission: Impossible II” is directed by John Woo (Hard Boiled, The Killer), stars Tom Cruise (Risky Business, Top Gun), Dougray Scott (Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Deep Impact), and Thandie Newton (Gridlock’d, Beloved) in the sequel to the 1996 mega-hit “Mission: Impossible.” The first movie took a popular TV show, brought it to the big screen with Tom Cruise as the star, and a lot of people ate it up. So naturally, a sequel was released four years later, and this time there’s a genetically modified disease that goes by the name of Chimera. The creator of this disease is killed and stolen by IMF agent Sean Ambrose. Now it is up to Ethan Hunt and Nyah Nirdoff-Hall to go undercover and find out whatever they can about the disease. It’s not an easy task, but if the task is completed, the disease can eventually be brought down.

This movie is the sequel to the highly successful “Mission: Impossible” released in 1996. During its theatrical run it made a final box office total of over $457 million worldwide. This final result made it the third highest-grossing film of the year, just below “Twister,” sitting at #2, and “Independence Day,” taking the cake at the #1 spot. “Mission: Impossible” also made more than any motion picture release from Disney that year, which if your film is doing that nowadays, it says something. Four Disney films released that year were in the worldwide box office’s top 10 by the way. The Disney releases included “The Rock,” “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” live-action “101 Dalmatians,” and “Ransom.” Now it’s 2000, and “Mission: Impossible II” is on the horizon. Once it came out, guess what happened? It made more than the original! It made a worldwide total of over $546 million. According to Wikipedia, this film’s reviews were “mixed to positive.” Me personally, I felt like I was getting cavities filled on all my teeth at once, so I really did not enjoy what I saw. I did a couple things related to this review before I saw the movie (mainly some stuff that wouldn’t require me to watch the movie), but once I got down to the nitty-gritty, I kind of forgot what I just witnessed on screen. It’s kinda like a dream, ya know. Unless the dream is truly significant depending on what the dream is, not to mention when, and maybe where it happens, or if you keep track of your dreams in a journal, you won’t remember anything about it. I could just say that this is a fun action movie, and at times it is, but a movie like “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” was a fun action movie. Not to mention, it was also a more memorable and admirable sequel than this. This kind of feels like a fun movie, but also made because the studio likes money.

Tom Cruise is the star of this movie as Ethan Hunt, and yes, he is fun to watch without any doubt whatsoever. But sadly, he might be one of the only good things you remember about this movie. Seeing Cruise in various action sequences is a delight, but when it comes to him as a character, talking to other people, that’s when the movie’s weaknesses start to show.

And I feel like this is why the movie falls flat on its face as an overall product, Cruise steals the show as an action star, and the scenes where action is happening sometimes stand out positively like a t-rex in a museum. But when it comes to any sort of moment that needs to trigger with the audience’s thoughts, emotions, anything like that, the movie just doesn’t know what to do. There’s some great direction, some great cinematography, and if you find out some what happens behind the scenes when it comes to the action sequences, the movie might just get better. If you’re coming into this movie, expecting some great character moments, times where you can root for everybody on screen, scenes where there are stakes, that’s not going to happen, at least that’s not what I felt happened.

One of the worst parts of the movie is the romance between Ethan Hunt and another character who goes by the name of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall. I don’t own this movie on DVD, my only source of watching this movie is a Blu-ray disc which is part of a 4 movie “Mission: Impossible” collection, and on the case I have dedicated to said collection, it doesn’t give a single full description for one of the movies. But according to the DVD, it describes the character of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall as “beautiful.” Sadly, that’s the only thing they got right about her. Other than her beauty, nothing else really stood out about her. I kind of bought her as a spy, but there were times I didn’t care about her, I didn’t buy the romance between her and Ethan. That side of the story improved a bit towards the climax, but during the beginning it sucked. It felt really forced, and it almost reminded me of Anakin and Padme in “Star Wars Episode II.” It’s two people who are working together, and somehow they force themselves into a romance because, well, apparently there’s nothing better that can be put in the script! If you had to one day ask me what Nyah was like, I’d either answer to you, “What are you talking about?”, “Who is this?”, or “A Bond Girl.”

You know how in all the “James Bond” stories they have a girl in there that’s basically exclusive to that story? Well, that’s what Nyah feels like to me. And as I do research on this movie, I feel like I like her less. Because this movie actually made a chase scene which was basically inspired by a race featured in “Goldeneye” between Bond and Xenia Onatopp. I can’t talk too much about it considering how I haven’t watched “Goldeneye,” but on IMDb’s trivia page dedicated to “Mission: Impossible II,” it suggests what I just said. It just feels like the crew behind this movie didn’t have any idea how they can define Nyah through an original thought. They just said, “Hey! A lot of people like James Bond, let’s put some of its s*it into our movie!” I’m not saying that “Mission: Impossible” and “Bond” aren’t similar in ways, but I am saying that if you aren’t careful, you can become a ripoff.

I could talk about the villain. But you know what? He’s forgettable. So let’s move on. Enough said.

As suggested, the action in this film is great at times, but then there are times when it just gets–um–yeah I don’t give a f*ck about my life anymore, this movie is s*it! The action just gets so silly and stupid that it’s hilarious!

There comes a point in the movie, that Ethan Hunt and Sean Ambrose are on motorcycles. You can BARELY tell who is who. I was almost even questioning which person I was looking at during certain moments of the film! It was kind of like “The Girl on the Train!” You ever seen that movie? I know, f*cking bats*it crazy! I can let that complaint slide, because it’s more on the nitpicky side, but I don’t know if I should be complaining more about that, or about what I’m going to explain to y’all. Although I will say, part of me… is doing cartwheels of excitement over this! So there’s a point where both bikers stop, they’re looking at each other on their vehicles, and after preparing their motors, they charge forth! Each operator hopes they can annihilate their opponent, both do a wheelie, when all of sudden, they jump off their bikes, making contact with each other, getting violent as they fall off a cliff, all the while both bikes explode, as both beings land on the sand, and they get back up in little to no time whatsoever!

That scene… may have been worth the watch. It’s one of the STUPIDEST things ever, but at the same time, one of the FUNNIEST things ever. But yeah, I gotta say it, f*ck this movie!

In the end, “Mission: Impossible II” was impossible to like. There were several scenes of boredom that made me avoid enjoying myself. Some of the stuff behind the scenes may improve the movie a little bit, but when it comes to the script, that’s the Achilles Heel. “Mission: Impossible II” honestly just feels like a studio film. Created solely just to make money. Maybe some passion was put into it, but based on what was presented to me, I wasn’t able to see any of that passion. This movie took out elements of what made the prior one enjoyable, such as the layers behind it, the characterization, etc, and just stuck to action. Stupid. I’m gonna give “Mission: Impossible II” a 3/10. I enjoy action movies, and I also enjoy Tom Cruise, but this movie felt like an impossible mission to get through. I have heard though that this movie is rather divisive so I’m curious to know some thoughts from the people who actually enjoyed the movie.

Thanks for reading this review! Since next month is May, that means I’ll have another “Mission: Impossible” review for you all to read, this time I’ll be doing “Mission: Impossible III,” directed by JJ Abrams, who according to one of my best friends, “ruined ‘Star Trek'” and according to another group of people I know, “saved ‘Star Wars’.” So I’m interested to see where Abrams is going with this movie. Speaking of “Mission: Impossible,” if you want to read my review for the first Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” film, the link to that is down at the end of this post.

Also if you are bored and want to read something that I promise you won’t have spoilers that will ruin the entire meaning of your life, check out my review for “Avengers: Infinity War.” Click the red box below if you want to read it. If you’re reading this and this is the last post I made, you’ll only see one red box and that’s the one you should click on. If you’re reading this and this is not the last post I made, click the red box on the bottom left. Stay tuned for more great content, should you choose to accept it! I want to know, did you see “Mission: Impossible II?” What did you think about it? Where do you personally stand on this movie’s divide? Or, do you think I’m too hard on Nyah Nirdoff-Hall? I mean, she is gorgeous and the movie certainly gets that notion right, but I seriously want to know your thoughts! Leave a comment below, and I just hope I enjoy “Mission: Impossible III” more than I enjoyed “Mission: Impossible II.” Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/mission-impossible-1996-this-movie-review-will-self-destruct-in-five-seconds/

Avengers: Infinity War (2018): 2018’s Movie Event of the Year

Posted on by Jack Drees

Before we dive into what some may call my most important movie review of the year, I’m gonna go ahead and ask you something. How terrifying is Thanos? The answer, objectively, he’s a monster that might eat other villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for breakfast. One thing that’s probably just as terrifying, is responsibility, and a new responsibility will be handed over to a couple by the name of Genevieve and Paul. The two are trying their hardest to have a child, therefore increasing the absolutely scary idea of responsibility, but before they totally get scared, they get… failure. Specifically, the failure of making a child, which is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a series on YouTube about a couple who are trying to have a baby but based on experience, trying is not enough effort to grant the couple’s wish. Genevieve and Paul go through an extended journey where trying is redefined. Throughout, they face victories and failures, and go through hell as they encounter unfortunate events when it comes to sex, tests, procedures, and EVERY. F*CKING. NEEDLE.

You know, kind of like this, but a little different. New episodes are uploaded to the channel every Monday and pretty much each one has their own little dramatic story for the couple to tell. The most recent episode however, strays away from the dramatic tone. In this latest installment titled “The Waiting Game,” the name pretty much says it all. When the couple is waiting for results on a test, they try to distract themselves and make themselves feel normal. Watch the episode, or if you want a more dramatic episode, watch a few of the earlier ones. If you like what you see, hit the subscribe button on their YouTube channel, like their videos, hit the notification bell, and if you want more of “What the IVF?” outside of the YouTube universe, be sure to check out their other social media profiles and their website! Also, be sure to to tell them I sent you over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Avengers: Infinity War” is directed by Anthony and Joe Russo (Community, Arrested Development) and stars Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man, The Judge), Chris Evans (Captain America: The First Avenger, Gifted) Mark Ruffalo (Foxcatcher, Spotlight), Chris Hemsworth (Thor, Rush), Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther, 42), Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Homecoming, The Lost City of Z), Benedict Cumberbatch (Doctor Strange, Star Trek: Into Darkness), Scarlett Johanson (Iron Man 2, Lucy), Don Cheadle (Iron Man 2, Crash), Paul Bettany (Iron Man, A Knight’s Tale), Elizabeth Olsen (Avengers: Age of Ultron, Godzilla), Anthony Mackie (Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Hurt Locker), Sebastian Stan (Captain America: The First Avenger, The Covenant), Danai Gurira (Black Panther, The Visitor), Letitia Wright (Black Panther, The Commuter), Dave Bautista (Guardians of the Galaxy, Blade Runner 2049), Zoe Saldana (Guardians of the Galaxy, Avatar), Josh Brolin (The Goonies, No Country For Old Men), and Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World). Just… HOLY CRAP. This is just scratching the surface on this movie’s overwhelming number of characters!

With the infinite (pun sort of intended) number of cast members/characters this movie is trying to fit in, they all are featured in this two and a half hour extravaganza where we reach one of the biggest points in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, and that’s when Thanos makes an attempt to unleash havoc and chaos upon the universe by destroying half of it.

Let me just get something out of the way, this review is being called “2018’s Movie Event of the Year,” and reasonably so. Because for one thing, it is the culmination that is ten years in the making (or six depending on who you ask). We are finally at the point that we get to see Thanos in action. Not to mention, this movie is RIDDLED TO THE BRIM with surprises! I can’t believe we’ve made it as far as we did, seriously! The birth of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, starting with the 2008 movie “Iron Man” is about to make its ten year mark on May 2nd! Unbelievable! Anyway, that movie and a bunch of others have all lead to this, and since I mentioned there are many surprises in this movie, I should have you all know that this review is going to be spoiler-free. A lot of people and I mean A LOT OF PEOPLE are going to see this movie after I get this review up, and this is pretty much a “Star Wars” situation. If I reveal one thing about this movie that is in spoiler territory, somebody in the comment section is going send me a death threat. So if I sound vague compared to some of my other reviews, you know why.

Now let’s get through some characters, but before we get to that, I could literally make a joke at this point saying that this movie featured every soul in existence. And I’ve heard some comments about this movie at times. I’ve heard comments saying that it feels cluttered, and that it has too many characters. I one-hundred percent disagree. And that’s because when it comes to utilizing these characters, I feel like just about each and every single one that has some sort of importance to the plot happened to have their moment. There are segments of this movie that stand out and those segments happen to be exclusive to certain characters. I don’t want to get into them however, because if I do, it will just mean I drop one character’s name, and now I allow each and every one of you to have a ruined surprise, which as mentioned, this movie has a lot of. If I were to go into them, I wouldn’t get all that specific, I’d just say a character’s name and kind of move on, but for the sake of humanity, sanity, and a decreased chance of getting killed by someone who may hunt me down after getting this review posted, I won’t do that. Another thing I will say, I will not be talking about all of the characters in this movie that has a bit of the importance to the plot. That will take forever and a half, and there’s not really as much to say about certain characters compared to others. So I’m sorry, there’s no explanation for characters like Iron Man, Captain America, and Doctor Strange. There are more that are unlisted, but these are just examples. I feel I should say less about them for the sake of a more quality review. You’re welcome, by the way.

I don’t have any order I want to go in when it comes to these characters, so let’s just talk about Spider-Man, because there is something that stands out about him that I need to bring up. As you may know, Spider-Man recently had his own movie and in that picture, he had some technology added to his suit. But this time around, if you watch the movie, you’ll notice that he has a new suit. And while I was not a fan of Peter Parker’s suit in “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” I thought this new suit, which is making the character of Spider-Man ultimately marketed to the public as Iron Spider, was a sack of crap. Sure, it looks kinda cool, but the idea of Spider-Man combining with Iron Man makes me think some people thought the idea of Spider-Man, and by that I mean SPIDER-MAN, was not cool enough. I would have said all of this before going to see the movie. As of right now, I change my mind. The Iron Spider outfit was properly utilized, had a purpose in the movie, mainly when it was first put on, but even so, and best of all, it didn’t have a stupid artificial intelligence that was literally holding Peter’s hand and telling him to kiss his crush. Thank gosh!

Another standout character in this movie is Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. Now her character as you know and would expect, is badass. But there is one thing that I consider what may be a flaw with this character, and it’s a nitpick, but it’s there. It makes me ask, why is she blonde? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some douchebag who demands other people to have a certain hairstyle. Although not only does it feel weird, but given the fact that something like this is a change of pace after seeing many movies with Black Widow such as “Iron Man 2,” “The Avengers,” and “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” which has the character having different, but in ways, alike hairstyles, you’d probably expect some explanation as to why Black Widow’s hair is blonde. Did she want to have more fun? Did she suddenly become a Marilyn Monroe fanatic? Did she get tired of people asking her if she was, I dunno, “REDy?” I’m not really taking many points off for this, but it kind of feels somewhat weird because this, again, feels like a change of pace. I don’t even remember there being a joke, even though there were a good number concerning other subjects, regarding Black Widow’s hair.

When it comes to who has the biggest presence in the entire movie in terms of the heroes, I gotta say that the Guardians of the Galaxy probably qualify as the number one spot. Their overall story has a tremendous effect on where everything goes in regards to a number of heroes and Thanos. As far as the Guardians go, I think their storyline is a contender to be the best storyline in the movie. It was somewhat dark and depressing while still allowing them to be the same hilarious crew we all grew to know.

And that does lead me into this movie’s overall tone. “Avengers: Infinity War” is marketed as this beyond dark, ambitious, important, bitchslap to the face f*ckstravaganza, and with bits of humor here and there. One worry I had that didn’t exactly stand out because I had faith in this being worked out well, was a clash in tones. I was somewhat worried that there would be too much humor in serious situations, but not only was the comedy incredibly hilarious, but it seemed to be utilized at the right times. I saw this movie with about 500 people, and based on their laughs, they seem to agree with me.

Now let’s move onto what is quite literally the biggest part of the entire movie, Thanos, which if you’re unfamiliar with Marvel…

Think of Terence Fletcher from “Whiplash” combined with Darth Vader from “Star Wars,” add in a hint of Count von Count from “Sesame Street,” you get this PURPLE GUY who CHUCKLES over the fact that he destroyed a NUMBER of planets, who is a FATHER per se of multiple heroic characters, and has a SHAVED head that will make you look at him as the INTIMIDATING, Jupiter-sized dickbag of Doucheville, otherwise known as Thanos. The character of Thanos is the probably the movie’s best character, and also the one that gets the majority of screentime. Also, if you have been following the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the villains have usually been disposable bad guys that are just there for the heroes to defeat. Recently however, I will say that every villain featured in a Marvel film since “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” has been incredible. The streak of awesomeness continues here in “Avengers: Infinity War.” And to be completely honest, Thanos is quite possibly the best villain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and definitely in the discussion of being the best comic book movie villain of all time. I don’t know if I’d say he’s as perfect as The Joker from “The Dark Knight,” but Thanos is up there. As mentioned, Thanos gets a majority of the movie’s screentime. And this is part of why his character is so great. Given his high amount of screentime, you get to know Thanos very much, and the film is more about him as opposed to anyone else. The film’s main point of focus is the journey to find the stones. The Avengers are the just the defenders (pun sort of intended). You view Thanos from the beginning as the very definition of evil, and he just f*cks s*it up no matter where he goes. If there’s one character that you should look forward to when seeing this movie, it’s Thanos.

Speaking of journeys, certain journeys have certain endings, and this journey has an ending to remember. Out of every ending I’ve seen in the MCU, this is BY FAR my favorite of them all. Like, holy f*ck! I saw this movie with three other people, a couple of the people next to me were just speechless, and so was I! I’m not even gonna say the ending! I don’t want to be a dick! That’s Moby’s job!

I APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE NAMED MOBY, WHICH LUCKILY, DUE TO RESEARCH THERE AREN’T MANY PEOPLE NAMED MOBY THAT STAND OUT SO I WONDER IF APOLOGIZING IS EVEN NECESSARY.

Overall, the ending for this movie, is not only brilliantly written, beautifully directed, but also has some of my favorite editing in the MCU. Again, something I won’t go into for the sake of not getting anyone mad, but it’s freaking sick!

Also as mentioned, this movie is directed by the Russo Brothers, who directed the previous two “Captain America” films. When it comes to the cinematography, I was noticing lots of shaky cam, which is not new for a film directed by this duo. If you watch “Captain America: Civil War,” that film has tons of shaky cam, and I thought the action in that film actually happened to be some of the best in the MCU. It was fast paced, exciting, and as I watched the film, fun. When it comes to the action sequences in this film, you can say I had fun watching them, but this is one of those times, where I literally felt there were high stakes involved in this universe. As mentioned, Thanos has an intimidating and demanding presence, you’ve also got a bunch of Thanos’s minions, including those of the Black Order, and while some other Marvel movies seem to have some predictable action sequences and all that, you never really know exactly how every action scene here will conclude. You constantly root for the heroes, who are going up against the f*ck-up of purple people, and Thanos’ determination makes the rooting exist. I mean… For a guy who happened to be rather speechless once leaving the theater for this movie, it’s almost like a true feat for the amount of words shoved onto this review! What a revelation!

In the end, “Avengers: Infinity War” is EASILY one of the best movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe! I LOVED just about every single second of this movie! It’s my favorite “Avengers” movie! The way they handled all of the characters in this movie was amazing! I mean, seriously! For a movie like this that has more characters than perhaps the number of lights people leave on for new visitors at a Motel 6 in a day, I can’t imagine many other directors taking on this project and doing a better job of balancing everything as masterfully as the Russos did. I said it before, just about every character had their personal moment to shine, and fans will be going crazy over at least one them. Maybe not as crazy as the crowd I had since I went on opening night in a crowded IMAX, but fans will go wild. Speaking of which, I do recommend you go see this in the IMAX format, because this is the first movie shot entirely on IMAX cameras. Not the ones I really like talking about, but this is kind of a big deal and the IMAX experience does add a bit to the movie in terms of immersion! With all of this being said, this movie is the Marvel Cinematic Universe edition of “The Empire Strikes Back,” and it is a f*cking ride from start to finish! I’m gonna give “Avengers: Infinity War” a 10/10! Once again, I’m trying to be as vague as possible in this review for a reason, and I’ll just remind you, when it comes to spoiling this movie, I don’t recommend it. If you spoil this movie, there’s a good chance you’re only just gonna make someone’s life only worse. You know, unless being spoiled is your thing then you’re OK there.

#ThanosDemandsYourSilence

But seriously though, this movie’s the s*it!

Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon, as promised, I’ll have my review for “Mission: Impossible II.” I’m probably going to watch the movie tomorrow, and I’ll start the review soon after, and publish it some time following that. Stay tuned for that review, and also stay tuned for other reviews! I want to know, did you see “Avengers: Infinity War?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite “Avengers” movie? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

A Quiet Place (2018): No Words… Should Be Spoken… Except For Ones of Praise

Posted on by Jack Drees

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“A Quiet Place” is directed by and stars John Krasinski (The Office, Something Borrowed) and also stars Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow, The Girl on the Train), Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe (Wonder, Suburbicon), and Cade Woodward as members of the Abbott family. This family lives in a setting where it is rather depressing compared to our own here in 2018. When it comes to the phrase “peace and quiet,” that has now turned into “Don’t make a f*cking sound!” Because if anyone makes a sound, monsters start searching and trying to kill you.

This film at a point happened to be up there with films like “Ready Player One,” “Avengers: Infinity War,” “Deadpool 2,” “Incredibles 2,” and “First Man” as one of my most anticipated movies of 2018. So naturally you can tell I had pretty high expectations. Those expectations I gotta say, were met! Is “A Quiet Place” the best film of the year? Not really. But nevertheless, I really enjoyed the film! “A Quiet Place” excels in a number of areas: Scares, heart, and the realization of a vision.

Some of the shots in this movie are truly crisp, smooth, and overall just well laid out. John Krasinski is in this movie as the star and he’s also behind the camera as the director. A number of you may know Krasinski as Jim from “The Office,” a show that I’d probably laugh at if I watch it more, but it’s also a show that makes me groan because of the less than still camerawork. This is also why I tend to usually avoid shows like “Parks and Recreation” and “Modern Family.” I’m not entirely against shaky cam, but there are just scenarios to me when it just looks choppy and lackluster compared to still shots. Luckily, this movie has a ton of still shots, and just about every frame is set to impress.

This movie’s director of photography by the way goes by the name of Charlotte Bruus Christensen, who shot films such as “Fences” and “Molly’s Game.” Another thing I really admire about this movie that I’m glad to see is still going is that it was shot on film. With the rise of digital, which in my book is inferior to film in ways, it almost seems like film is dead, but that’s not the case here.

Emily Blunt co-stars in this movie as Lee’s wife, Evelyn. Throughout this movie, her character just goes to show that you don’t need to tell us everything about them to care. Blunt’s character, much like anyone else in this movie, has barely any spoken lines whatsoever, and when they’re spoken, they’re silent as hell! One big reason why I cared about her is that she was pregnant. So while I did happen to want this family to survive, I was also rooting for her because she was carrying a soul that might not even make it to the part of life where they actually… live!

When it comes to the kids in this movie, I happened to root for them as well. When it comes to “A Quiet Place,” there are two main kids you’ll witness on screen. One of them is Regan (Millicent Simmonds) and the other is Marcus (Noah Jupe). As far as these actors go, I’d say both have very bright futures ahead of them and these roles of theirs along with both actors’ individual performances support that statement wholeheartedly. I’ve actually already seen Jupe in “Wonder” and he was pretty great there, but in this movie, it’s a different kind of great that is delivered. Simmonds however has only been in one project prior to this one, coincidentally, “Wonderstruck.” I have not seen her in that, but having seen her here, I hope more movies and TV shows will cast her in the near future. And if they don’t, maybe I’ll give her a job, we’ll find out.

Speaking of one of the kids, specifically Regan, I really thought what the movie did with her character was really smart. This movie is about a family making an attempt to literally live life in silence. For Regan, that is not an option because she’s deaf. Not only in terms of editing was this plot point handled with such elegance, but in terms of the overall screenplay, it was marvelously written and executed.

When it comes to this movie’s scares, the title pretty much suggests what’s to come in a way. The area is supposed to be quiet, otherwise you’re in deep s*it. So if you wanted to talk about Fight Club, unfortunately, not only will you break the first rule of Fight Club, there will be monsters who may hear you and maybe they’ll understand you talking about Fight Club, I don’t know how deep this movie’s lore goes. But nevertheless, if you are in this movie, you live in 2020, and talk about Fight Club, the monsters will bring the fight to you. In fact, it’s not just people talking, it literally be any noise whatsoever that attracts these monsters. Maybe except rivers and waterfalls so essentially you can say if a creature, mainly a human, makes a noise that comes as a result of themselves, doom shall soon arrive. Say you know nothing about this world, but you spend much time being quiet, then you put on the TV, and “Fight Club” is on AMC. Monsters will be aware and hunt you down!

S*it! I talked about Fight Club! I hope my acquaintances at Fight Club don’t find out!

One thing I often talk about on here is how much I encourage people to go see a movie in theater as opposed to waiting for On Demand, Netflix, Amazon, Blu-ray, DVD, or any other way you’re capable of watching the movie at home. As I watched this movie with barely any dialogue, I probably had one of the spookiest movie experiences in recent memory. When I got to the theater, I ordered myself a large popcorn and a large soda. And when it comes to my grub, most noticeably the popcorn, I was chowing down on it during the trailers. There were about six trailers before the movie started, a few things to promote the owners of the cinema I was going to, and one GENIUS heads up to those attending this showing. Its main message was, “If you don’t shut up during the movie, you’ll fly out of your chair and die!” This advertisement was specifically made for “A Quiet Place” and it set the perfect mood for what was to come. I was expecting to do this as the movie was playing, but as I went through several moments of the film, I was slowing down tremendously on my food and beverage, and when I spent many instances having my popcorn, I would take a piece of it, put it in my mouth, and instead of chewing it, I’d leave it on my tongue and let it dissolve like a Claritin Disintigrating Tablet. When it comes to drinking my soda, I would slowly pick it up out of the cupholder, take steady sips, try to be as silent as possible, and when I’ve had enough, I’d put it back where I found it. Regardless of my thoughts on the movie itself, the overall atmosphere of “A Quiet Place” was eerie and hypnotizing.

Another positive that comes out of this movie is the score. The use of various instruments in this film truly stand out and make numerous scenes and shots better than they already were. So far, I gotta say this is a contender the best original film score of the year. Although I’ll say I gotta rewatch “Annihilation” again because that’s another top spot of mine when it comes to this category. This film’s score is done by Marco Beltrami, who also did the score for films including “Logan,” “Gods of Egypt,” “World War Z,” and “Live Free or Die Hard.”

The thing that honestly truly detracts the film is the ending. Now it’s almost like the film got to its climactic point, and while it seems to have all of its buildup ready, the payoff was something that couldn’t be realized from one of the three screenwriters behind this film. Most of the ending is actually pretty freaking cool, but at the VERY VERY END, you see something and you think to yourself, “What the– OK…?” I didn’t feel offended by it, but I either felt disappointment, confusion, or shock that I truly didn’t want. Maybe a combination of any of those things. I don’t want to get into it because I want to avoid spoiling the movie for you in case you haven’t seen it, and you should see it, I highly recommend it.

In the end, I really had a great time watching “A Quiet Place.” Not only was the movie from a technical perspective, super duper, but the atmosphere I was given throughout my experience was something I rarely feel when I go to a movie theater and watch something on the big screen. John Krasinski certainly knocked it out of the park in terms of his direction, and I certainly want to see more work with him in the director’s chair. Also, when award season comes around and if the Best Cinematography award needs suggestions, may I consider Charlotte Bruus Christensen. This cinematographer’s shots had wonderful symmetry, neat locations to accompany the shots, and this will probably get all you progressives orgasming, this is a woman I’m talking about. If you ask me as a voter of some organization, the gender doesn’t matter, talent comes first, and I see talent from Christensen. We’ll have to see how the rest of the year pans out, and if this movie is remembered by all of the people who are surrounded by “gifted” films coming out from September to December. I’m going to give “A Quiet Place” an 8/10.

Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’ll have my review up for “Mission: Impossible II.” I’m probably gonna end up watching it sometime this weekend, and as far as when my review will be up, I can’t exactly set a date for that. The latest will probably be the 30th of April, because that’s the end of the month, and I’m trying to get this review up by the end of the month.

Speaking of things happening around the end of the month, “Avengers: Infinity War” is coming out! I have opening night tickets for this Thursday at 7PM at my local IMAX theater! That review will probably be up either Friday, the 27th, the day the movie is released everywhere, or Saturday, the 28th. And don’t worry, Thanos made it clear that he demands my silence, so the review will be spoiler-free! I can’t wait to see the movie, I’m going with a few other people who are probably just as excited, so stay tuned for the review! I want to know, did you see “A Quiet Place?” What did you think about it? Or, did you talk about “Fight Club” recently? If so, and this is optional, I’d like to hear some specifications about your “Fight Club” story. Let me know about that down below, and while Thanos may demand everyone’s silence on various points of “Avengers: Infinity War,” just remember that he does not demand your silence on Fight Club. Tyler Durden does. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Deadpool 2 (2018): The Final Trailer: GO PETER!

Posted on by Jack Drees

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! The new trailer for “Deadpool 2” is out, and it is being referred to as “The Final Trailer.” Honestly, when it comes to the marketing for “Deadpool 2,” I think it’s probably some of the best marketing I’ve seen for a movie in my entire life. A lot of people have given praise recently towards “Avengers: Infinity War” for providing such an epic and perhaps dark vibe in its trailers. To me, after this recent trailer for “Deadpool 2,” it’s almost hard to tell if this movie was marketed better than “Infinity War.” For those of you who don’t know my thoughts on the first “Deadpool” film, I really enjoyed it, I actually saw it twice in IMAX laser, it was definitely the funniest technical comedy of 2016. And since we’re getting this sequel pretty soon, I’m actually super excited. After multiple watches, the Bob Ross trailer totally grew on me, a couple more trailers came out that I really enjoyed. In fact, the trailer titled “Meet Cable,” is the trailer I liked the least out of all of them, but even upon my first reaction, I was dying laughing. I don’t know if this recent trailer is the king of em’ all, but it’s certainly a contender. So let’s dive into it!

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The trailer starts off and we see a compilation of shots. You have your establishing shots (such as the one above), your action shots, and your dialogue shots. It seems that Deadpool is with a crew and they might be going to Cable’s location, perhaps a hideout or somewhere he happens to be terrorizing. One shot not included above is the first shot of the trailer where you see a few vehicles making their way through a bridge. A vehicle or two looks plot-related, and I want to point out that shot because if you go back to 2016, when this film was first being made, the then director of the film, Tim Miller, left the project due to creative differences. Around the time he left, Ryan Reynolds went on Twitter and made a poll asking where the climactic sequence for “Deadpool 2” should be. Both of the choices by the way were “A bridge.” So I’m not making any bets here, but that shot is probably one of the first shots of the climax. Deadpool is going over the plan to everyone, and the final shot before the logo, is my favorite of the opening shots.

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WADE: “Hit it!”

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Deadpool continues his jibber-jabber by talking about a kid who happens to be in trouble. That kid by the way goes by the name of Russell and he’s played by Julian Dennison who you may know as Ricky from Taika Waititi’s “Hunt for the Wilderpeople.” Cable, played by Josh Brolin, soon says “Move or die.” The next thing we hear, which is apparently in a completely different scene, is Deadpool uttering “Pump the hate brakes, Thanos.” And then that’s followed by…

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THIS. F*CKING THIS. I DIG IT! Not as funny as the last trailer’s “FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT YOU “27 DRESSES” AND “THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA,” but that is awesome!

Then we get a conversation between Wade Wilson and his friend, Weasel, and Wade says he needs backup, so he and Weasel are gonna form a “super-duper f*cking group.”

So now Deadpool and Weasel are meeting with applicants to join the future team. The people we see include Bedlam, played by former “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” host and current “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” regular, Terry Crews. We also have Shatterstar, played by “Into the Badlands’s” own Lewis Tan. And finally, Domino, who refers to herself as lucky. Then the rest of their interaction plays out this way:

WADE: Luck isn’t a superpower. And certainly not very cinematic.

DOMINO: Yes, it is.

WADE: Let’s meet in the middle and say “No, it isn’t.”

Domino is being played by Zazie Beatz, who you may know as Van from the FX TV show “Atlanta.”

This team by the way, if you don’t already know, is going to be the X-Force, as revealed in the trailer before this one.

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Next things next, we have the X-Force skydiving, right after Deadpool says “F*ck it, it’s showtime.”

Also, “Deadpool” marketing always has a way with words. This is just another example of that.

After a series of partially awesome and partially hilarious shots of characters in action, we get, depending on how this actually plays out, what could potentially become one of my all time favorite exchanges in a superhero movie…

CABLE: “You’re no f*cking hero. You’re just a clown dressed up as a sex toy.”

WADE: “So dark. You sure you’re not from the DC Universe?”

F*CK YEAH! After this we get more action shots, which continue to be accompanied by LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out,” which also played in the last trailer for this movie. In some of these shots you see characters like Dopinder, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Colossus, and this shot down below which is hysterical here, but I imagine as it plays out on the big screen in front of everyone (as long as you as a parent don’t bring your young children), will be the very thing that kills you.

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This shot… is money. By the way, if you’re a parent, and you’re reading this, or if you’re anyone for that matter, but a parent especially, I dare you to put this as your desktop photo on your computer or as your home photo on your phone. I double dog dare you to do as I say!

Also, fans of “The Goonies,” rejoice!

WADE: “Bring it on one-eyed Willie.”

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Then we see Cable shooting at Deadpool like a champ, to which Deadpool’s katanas shout, “Not today, douchebag!” This goes on for a few seconds, and part of me imagines these few seconds do not even justify the amount of time this will go on for during the movie. Then we see Deadpool is clearly tired of all the deflecting, and he’s out of breath.

Afterwards we get a logo that says “DP2,” which after I say it a number of times, is not only fun, but also sounds like a terrific beat to a piece of music.

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Now I introduced f*cking gifted and superpowered potential badasses such as Bedlam, Shatterstar, and Domino. With that being said, let’s move on to the real badass, Peter! I like to call this guy, “Deadpool 2’s” Winston Zeddemore from “Ghostbusters.” Because why does he join? He has no powers, he just saw the ad. And according to Wade, that’s enough to get him in. Then we get perhaps the funniest and best shot of the entire trailer.

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Peter is skydiving!

Enough f*cking said!

After this, we get some very important news, tickets are on sale! I actually have not gotten them, I don’t know when I will, but I’m pretty sure I’m bound to get them soon. I don’t know if I’ll go opening night. I already am seeing “Avengers: Infinity War” opening night, and when it comes to “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” that’s another movie whose opening night tickets I’m trying to get my paws on. This movie comes out at a time not far in between those two, and actually one week before “Solo,” so I’m wondering if I should risk getting opening night tickets, because I don’t know if some of the people who I’d likely go with would end up getting opening night fatigue.

I love this trailer, I think it is one of the best recent trailers I’ve seen. The action looks very kick-ass, the effects look amazing, and most of all, the movie might be this year’s greatest comedy. This movie continues to show that meta humor rocks! If the first “Deadpool,” “The LEGO Batman Movie,” “Seinfeld,” “Family Guy,” and “The Simpsons” haven’t supported that statement already, I don’t know what will!

Oh, and don’t forget, f*cking Peter!

What about f*cking Peter?! Everything about f*cking Peter! That’s what! I seriously want some more promotion with this character, I want the merchandisers to shove this character into every store as an action figure! I want Funko to make him a Pop figure! Also make exclusives for him at GameStop! FYE! Walmart! Hot Topic! Target! Walgreen’s! 7-Eleven! San Diego Comic-Con! New York Comic Con! Emerald City Comic Con! Rhode Island Comic Con! Toys R Us even though they’re going out of business! Blockbuster if they come back as a toy shop! RadioShack if they make a comeback and rename themselves as ToyShack and develop a bigger market for remote control cars! Maybe somewhere in Kim Kardashian’s ass! I want Peter to go far and wide as Peter’s eyes can see! F*ck Peter Parker! F*ck Peter Quill! F*ck Peter Pan! F*ck Peter Griffin! F*ck Peter Rabbit! F*ck Peter Venkman! F*ck Peter Brady! F*ck Peter Gibbons! F*ck Peter Pettigrew! F*ck Peter Piper! F*ck em’ all! Because there’s only one fictional character named Peter that matters at this point, and that is Peter! Just… Peter. Not Peter Boyle! Not Peter Dinklage! Not Peter Cushing! Not Peter Capaldi! None of those REAL Peters! Just Peter! You know what? I want to see Peter in action! Taking down characters with powers, even though he has no powers, and if he dies in this movie, it better be the most emotional thing I’ve ever seen! Dedicate a funeral to him at the end of the movie! Because at the end of the day, the only character that matters, is Peter! If you do that, this will be the next “Citizen Kane!” This movie will be a masterpiece, and we’ll all demand a follow-up that might be just as good, maybe slightly worse or better, which will then conclude the “Deadpool” trilogy to be remembered for generations.

HAIL, PETER!

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Also, I hear that “Deadpool 2” is still in post-production. And one character who happens to be in the movie is Weasel played by TJ Miller. It’s now less than a month until the movie releases, so I don’t know how much time the crew has, but there’s one thing I think they should do. I love TJ Miller, I think he’s a great actor, but here’s the thing. He’s been in the news lately and if you’ve been hearing about it, it has not been for good reasons. And if you remember one of the movies from the previous Oscar season, “All the Money In the World,” that was a movie that was going to star Kevin Spacey. But once the news came out that Kevin Spacey was a sex pervert, some hope seemed lost. The movie had about a couple of months until it was released. Trailers were already shown with Kevin Spacey’s character. But the crew decided to do something. They’d recast his character last minute and reshoot. So they get Christopher Plummer (A Beautiful Mind, Beginners) to replace him, so when the movie comes out, audiences will notice Plummer playing Spacey’s character. What they should do for “Deadpool 2” is find a way to incorporate Christopher Plummer into the movie as TJ Miller’s character, so we can 1, start a trend where Christopher Plummer is a replacement cast member of a character originally to be played by a sex pervert, in this case Miller had allegations, not confirmations, but still, you can also consider his recent fake bomb threat. Also consider 2, it’ll make the movie even funnier than it already was! Maybe for a scene or two, try CGIing Christopher Plummer’s body and/or face onto TJ Miller’s character, reshoot some scenes with Plummer if possible, or if that doesn’t work out or is too taxing, get Plummer to come in, record a couple lines that TJ Miller says, and put that into the final product. I also imagine that there are some lines that people can’t wait to hear TJ Miller say, but I imagine they’ll get a hard laugh out of themselves from realizing they’ve listened to Miller the whole time and then suddenly, one line is from the voice of Christopher Plummer! Trust me, it’s genius! Even if the audience doesn’t know who Christopher Plummer is, they’ll probably just find it funny because it’s some elderly man in a near-middle-aged guy’s body!

Thanks for reading this trailer review! Honestly, and I’m not even joking, this is probably some of the most fun I’ve had writing for this blog. If I can’t have fun writing about Christopher Plummer replacing people who behaved beyond improperly at some point in their lives, I can’t have fun doing anything. I’m also excited to see what David Leitch can do with this film given how he directed “Atomic Blonde,” one of my favorite movies from last year, and he co-directed “John Wick,” another great film! So you can tell by that Leitch can definitely make a kick-ass action movie. Next week I’ll have a couple of new reviews up, one of them I planned for a long time, and another one is a bit more on the unexpected side. Starting with the unexpected, I’m going to be seeing “A Quiet Place” tomorrow. I’ve been dying to check this out, my sister has a friend whose mother invited me to come along with them to see this thing so I can’t wait to finally gaze my eyes upon what might be one of the most unique movie experiences of the year. Also stay tuned for my review for a movie that most people who even watch movies nowadays are gonna try to review, “Avengers: Infinity War,” because you need another critic to review this movie right when it comes out. Stay tuned for those reviews, and speaking of reviews, check out my review for a movie which just like “Deadpool,” is sexual, and that is “Blockers.” Click the link down below to read it, I think you’ll enjoy it, and if you don’t, that’s fine, I’m just glad you’re here now! I want to know, did you watch the final trailer for “Deadpool 2?” What did you think about it? Also, do you think the crew behind “Deadpool 2” should do that Christopher Plummer thing I’ve mentioned? Let me know down below and if you have admittedly faked a bomb threat or been accused of being a sex pervert, please change your username to Christopher Plummer so I know who you are. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

“BLOCKERS” REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/04/13/blockers-2018-when-parents-dont-want-their-kids-gettin-cocky/

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018): This Year’s Independence Day: Resurgence?

Posted on by Jack Drees

*SPONSORSHIP ALERT* (although nobody’s payin’ me)

Before we dive into my review for “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” let me just take a moment to ask you, how ya doin’? How’s life? What’s going on? If it were around this time frame in 2016 and you asked what a couple named Genevieve and Paul what’s going on, one of them might respond saying, “A ton of s*it.” That’s because at the time, they were trying wicked hard to make a kid, but the overall task of doing so was an absolute nightmare. All of this is truthfully documented in their new web series, “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is about Genevieve and Paul’s journey to having a baby, where they discover that having a child is not all fun and games, it’s work! Not because of the child, but because they can’t make the child! Watch the couple as their life gets serious and begins to change dramatically as they face several challenges! Sex becomes less than sexy! Math apparently is now useful in real life! Trips to visit doctors are now more nerve-racking than ever! And needles are nothing but ungrateful sons of bitches! Then again, when were they not? Those pinches are killers! You can watch all of the content posted on the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel simply by going through the links down below and clicking on the one to the YouTube page. And speaking of YouTube videos, “WTIVF?” has an episode posted earlier this week! I won’t go into too much detail, but Genevieve refers to it as her favorite episode so far and as the video that highlights the moment that probably most dramatically changed her life. Be sure to watch the video listed above if interested, subscribe to the YouTube channel, hit the notification bell, that way you can get the latest “WTIVF” content before your friends who aren’t subscribed, who in which case, may become your enemies because they aren’t subscribed. Also, check out their website, and their other online pages such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all down below! Also, be sure to tell them that Jack Drees sent ya!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Pacific Rim: Uprising” is directed by Steven S. DeKnight and stars John Boyega (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Detroit), Scott Eastwood (The Longest Ride, Suicide Squad), and Cailee Spaeny. This is the sequel to 2013’s “Pacific Rim,” directed by Guillermo del Toro, and if you are keeping up with the Academy Awards, this guy recently won Best Director for “The Shape of Water,” a movie which also won Best Picture. When it comes to “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” it revolves around John Boyega’s character of Jake Pentecost, the son of Stacker Pentecost, played in the first movie by Idris Elba. His character teams up with another character from the first movie, Mako Mori, played in the first movie by Rinko Kikuchi, and leads a team of new Jaegar pilots against a new Kaiju threat.

As far as the first “Pacific Rim” is concerned, I’ll say I personally enjoyed it. I saw it in IMAX when it came out, I had a good time, I got to see some kick-ass robot/monster fights up on the big screen, it was pure popcorn fun. I got connected to the human characters a little bit, the music was not half-bad, and Idris Elba gave a speech to remember.

“Today. Today… At the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Today there is not a man or woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and bring the fight to them! Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse!” –Stacker Pentecost

I’ve only seen the movie twice, with last time being a month ago, but no matter when I watch it, I can imagine myself getting goosebumps just listening to that. The first “Pacific Rim” is definitely not a masterpiece, but certainly a good time. This movie, is the complete opposite. Not the opposite of definitely not a masterpiece, but the opposite of a good time.

Speaking of movies that aren’t masterpieces but also good times, remember “Independence Day?” That’s a fun movie. Remember the sequel? Yes? Unfortunately, I do too, I had to review that crap for y’all. I’m gonna go as far to say that “Pacific Rim: Uprising” is this year’s “Independence Day: Resurgence.” It’s an attempt to kickstart a new franchise and rely more on spectacle than proper storytelling. Ask me, do you remember many likable, intriguing moments from “Independence Day: Resurgence?” I don’t. And you know what? I’m gonna say that personally I found this movie to be worse than “Independence Day: Resurgence.” Heck, I watched the first movie literally the day before I went to see the second one in theaters. Someone I had a connection with wanted to see the then new “Independence Day” movie, and I was unfamiliar with the first one, so I watched it on HBO for free, but it was something that I just had on in the background. I actually had attention directed towards “Pacific Rim” and personal enjoyment from gazing at the pixels on the screen. “Pacific Rim: Uprising” currently has a 6/10 on IMDb, and it is receiving more positive ratings than negative ratings, so it clearly has people who like it. And I will say, I imagined in my head that there are certain types of people who will watch this movie and have a good time. Let’s go through the list.

GROUP 1:
Fans of the first “Pacific Rim” who don’t care what others have to say and are just happy this movie exists.

GROUP 2:
Fans of the first “Pacific Rim” who clearly know the lore or are interested to see what other lore can be developed.

GROUP 3:
Kids who like giant robots, monsters, fighting, or any combination of those things. Yes, anyone can fit in here, but I’m mainly imagining kids.

GROUP 4:
People who just want to see John Boyega in something new for whatever reason.

GROUP 5:
Judging by what I just said, I guess the select few people who happened to enjoy “Independence Day: Resurgence.”

GROUP 6:
Me on Opposite Day.

GROUP 7:
Michael Bay. Just… Michael Bay.

I mean, seriously, how does this not feel like “Independence Day: Resurgence” all over again?! This movie’s a sequel to a film with a character who some might say gave a terrific speech. A black character who is not present in this movie has a kid who plays a big part instead of them. Both sequels take place in a future far from its predecessor. Oh yeah? And did I mention that both movies suck? That’s another thing too, it’s kind of important!

I don’t care about any of the movie’s characters, but since it is now a cliche for me to talk about at least one character in detail with a big fat image listed above, I guess it’s time for me to inject myself with the poison in front of my ugly face. Let’s talk about John Boyega’s character of Jake Pentecost. Gah! Why do I have to do this?! I don’t even monetize this site! It’s not even worth it! Alright, just for the sake of having a good review, let’s tackle this bitch. Pentecost is a fine character, and by fine I mean, you don’t want to kill him by the end of the movie. But probably the main reason you’ll end up liking him or caring about him is that he’s John Boyega. If you have been a fan of the new “Star Wars” movies, you might end up rooting for this character because you know he’s Finn. By the time you walk out of the theater, you’ll probably end up forgetting this character and go back to your life where you buy tickets for, hopefully, better movies.

Moving onto the main girl in this movie, Amara Namani, played by Cailee Spaeny, I was watching the movie and I thought to myself that she reminded me of the young girl in “Logan.” I can’t say too much about that though. Because to be honest I haven’t seen “Logan.” My comparison would be invalid given how I’ve only watched the film’s promotional material. But from the way she looks, and seemingly, acts in the movie, I was given that thought at one point.

Let’s talk about Charlie Day in this film.

More like… Charlie Good Day Sir!

Like, NO! JUST NO! NO!

WHAT! THE! HECK! DID THEY DO WITH HIM?!

For those of you who haven’t watched the first movie, Charlie Day was a character in it, and he went by the name of Newton Geiszler. He was a wacky scientist who studied the Kaiju during the whole war. Take Emmett Brown from “Back to the Future,” put him in a blender with JJ Abrams, maybe a pinch of the Cowardly Lion from “The Wizard of Oz,” and add in the voice of like, I dunno, let’s just say Michael Scott from “The Office,” and you get Newton Geiszler. I won’t talk too much about him in this movie, because I want to stay out of spoiler territory, but there was a point where the character of Amara was getting on my nerves a little, then all of a sudden something happened with Newton, and then my brain tried to find all the ways it could electrocute itself. Its reaction might as well have been this GIF featuring a clip from “Family Guy.”

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Another gripe I’ve got with this film is that it’s just boring as f*ck! I mentioned how this movie relies more on spectacle than proper storytelling, the story itself bored me, and so did the character interactions. I’ll be honest, I’m a defender of the first Michael Bay “Transformers” film, and I didn’t mind the human characters. While in that movie, you came to see giant robots fighting and may have been disappointed due to forced human character storylines, a movie such as the one I saw, had us wanting to see giant robots and monsters fight, but also made me as an audience member suffer through unlikable humans communicating with each other. In fact, one thing that I’ll point out about the first “Pacific Rim” is that while the movie isn’t exactly reliant on you giving a crap about the characters, I still cared about them and possibly rooted for them. Here, I wasn’t doing that. If somebody received any sort of pain, I wouldn’t have cared. This movie felt too extended and dull, and it ended up being an hour and fifty-one minutes. There are so many movies that are longer than this pile of garbage that are better and more worth your time! Let’s give a list!

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • Citizen Kane
  • Jurassic Park
  • Every Lord of the Rings movie (including Hobbit installments)
  • Star Wars
  • Braveheart
  • La La Land
  • Interstellar
  • Titanic
  • V For Vendetta
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Matrix
  • Lincoln
  • The Fifth Element
  • The Big Sick
  • Kingsman: The Secret Service
  • Ray
  • Once Upon a Time in the West
  • Metropolis
  • 12 Years a Slave
  • Inception
  • The Martian

And you know what? I don’t know how long this statement will hold up in my book, but at this point, I might say this is worse than all of the Michael Bay “Transformers” films.

This movie isn’t all negatives, in fact, one positive I can actually give the movie, is some of the cinematography from Dan Mindel, cinematographer of such films including “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” the 2009 “Star Trek” reboot, and “John Carter.” Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the best I’ve ever seen, but it almost comes off as one of the only things that can make this look like a film that is trying. But unfortunately, that’s sometimes ruined by occasional choppy editing! How wonderful! I didn’t come to the movie to admire the cinematography and editing, but it doesn’t mean both of those things can be bad!

In the end, when I’m talking about a big blockbuster that is SUPPOSED to entertain you and have you enjoy yourself while munching on popcorn for a couple of hours, and the only positives that come to mind include some of the shots and maybe tads of humor, that’s an epic fail! I really wanted to like the first movie. When the first trailer came out, it sold me. It prepared me for what was to come. I was somewhat pumped. The future bits of marketing were not as great, but I thought maybe the movie could be a chunk of fun. I think I’d honestly have more fun flying Spirit Airlines than I would watching this movie. At least Spirit Airlines, as much as they suck, and trust me, THEY SUCK, can take you to places you want to go. If I wanted to see all sorts of pretty lights and maybe watch some drunkards duke it out, Spirit could take me to Las Vegas. If I wanted to go see one of my best friends in person or make fun of the way people in Texas talk up close, Spirit could take me to Houston. If I bought tickets to go to a convention that might as well be an excuse to pay lots of money to stand in line after line after line, Spirit could take me to San Diego. “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” also took me to a place, and that place, is hell. I’m gonna give “Pacific Rim: Uprising” a 2/10. I admire John Boyega, and continue to hope some brightness shines throughout his career, but to say that he may have just been shown in a movie that is possibly worse than “The Circle,” is just unfathomable.

Thanks for reading this review! Next week I’m going to have my review for “Avengers: Infinity War,” because I already have tickets to see the movie opening night, and probably right after I get done watching that, the first thing I’ll do is get right in front of my computer, type like a maniac until perhaps three o’clock in the morning, and post my review for y’all to read! By the way, I’ll warn you in advance in case you read that review, I’ll do my best to make the review spoiler-free, for the sake of not feeding the trolls who throw spoilers around the Internet, and to avoid ruining the experience of going to see “Infinity War” for those who aren’t seeing it as early as I am. Not to mention, according Anthony and Joe Russo, the two directors of “Avengers: Infinity War,” Thanos demands my silence, so I might as well respect Thanos’ wishes.

#ThanosDemandsYourSilence

Also, stay tuned because pretty soon, I’ll have my review up for “Mission: Impossible II.” This review will be up by the month’s conclusion, and it will be the second entry in my “Mission: Impossible” review series leading up to “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” So look out for that! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Pacific Rim: Uprising?” What did you think about it? Which “Pacific Rim” movie was better? The first one or the second one? And since it’s relevant, did you see “Independence Day: Resurgence?” Leave all your thoughts down below, and PLEASE remember, if you are making an early review of “Avengers: Infinity War,” #THANOSDEMANDSYOURSILENCE. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Blockers (2018): When Parents Don’t Want Their Kids Gettin’ Cocky

Posted on by Jack Drees

Alright fellow moron followers, it’s that time! We’re gonna talk about sex! And to do that, we’re not just gonna go over my thoughts for the movie “Blockers,” we’re gonna be doing a usual promo. Sex may be fun, hot, and climactic. You know, unless you’re Genevieve and Paul. If you’re Genevieve and Paul, sex is not all fun and games! It’s work! Hard work! No! They’re not f*cking porn stars! They’re in a YouTube series where they’re trying to conceive! Watch them… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is an all new series on YouTube that goes over one couple’s long journey to conception. Watch Genevieve and Paul as they deal with various struggles and small victories! As time passes, they realize, them becoming parents will only become a reality if they push themselves to the limit instead of just having sex and having a natural procreation method. Not to mention, getting injected with tons of needles. You can find the latest videos from Genevieve and Paul on the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel. Also be sure to hit the notification bell and subscribe for all new content! Their latest entry to the series involves a fertility appointment, and things just don’t go according to plan. If YouTube doesn’t satisfy you, check out all the other “WTIVF?” social media profiles and the series’s own website. All links are down below, tell em Jack Drees sent ya, and now let’s continue getting sexy!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Blockers,” or C*ckblockers, as the promotional material implies, is directed by Kay Cannon and stars John Cena (Trainwreck, The Wall), Leslie Mann (Knocked Up, This Is 40), and Ike Barinholtz (Suicide Squad, Neighbors) as three parents who get together who try to stop their daughters from losing their virginities on prom night. Basically if you watch the movie, take the concept for “American Pie,” add in some elements of modern-day s*it in there, change the gender of the teens in a pact to get laid, and make the parents bigger parts of the story, and you get “Blockers.”

This movie is the directorial debut of Kay Cannon, who is mainly known as a writer and producer when it comes to her work in Hollywood. Cannon has written all three “Pitch Perfect” films, and produced the two sequels. I only saw the first one, I thought it was one of the worst comedies I’ve ever seen, even though a number of people seem to like it, but it certainly kept me from seeing the next two movies. Cannon also wrote several episodes of “New Girl,” which honestly, I need to still watch! They have reruns now, so I have a good opportunity on my hands. As I went into “Blockers,” I didn’t expect much, and my low expectations had partially to do with Kay Cannon, who I imagine, is a rather nice woman, but as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t like her s*itty movie from about six years ago. But hey, if were sitting in a chair in a coffee shop, having a coffee with her, I wouldn’t feel like I was tied to that chair. How someone is as a writer and someone is as a person are two completely different ideas! And luckily, in terms of how this movie was not only from the perspective of director Kay Cannon, but also the perspective of writers Brian and Jim Kehoe, it was so much better than it deserved to be! Seriously, from some of the advertising, I was somewhat convinced that this movie would be mediocre at best, but I walked out thinking to myself that I watched a movie where “American Pie” and “Revenge of the Nerds” had a lovechild! Is this movie a masterpiece? Heck no! But not only did I have a fun time, part of me feels that this movie goes over some very important themes. But before we get into why I’m craving this movie like ice cream, let’s dive into negatives.

First off, this movie has a ton of points where I nitpicked the hell out of it. I won’t go into extreme detail because it seems rather spoilery, but he biggest standout to me is when Ike Barinholtz’s character said he’s never watched anyone have sex before. My first thought after hearing that line was, “You’re a grown man who has impregnated someone, and raised a kid.” There’s not one point in your life where you rented something from the adult video store? I don’t know, That’s how he comes off to me. The more I thought about it, maybe he was just referring to in-person sex, but it doesn’t change how that original thought popped into my mind. Another thing I sort of didn’t like, is one joke that kind of makes fun of “Fast & Furious” and Vin Diesel. While it was somewhat executed well, audiences have seen a joke similar joke to that almost three years ago now in “Vacation.” Granted, that movie from what I heard was trash, but having promotional material, I imagine some people might watch this movie, witness this joke play out, and view it as perhaps less funny than if it was had “Vacation” never happened. I remember witnessing other various nitpicks, but I’ll be real with you, I can’t exactly recall them off the top of my head. It just goes to show how many positives there are in this movie compared to negatives.

Let’s talk about the three parents in this movie. You have the recently mentioned Ike Barinholtz who plays Hunter, whose daughter goes by the name of Sam, played by Gideon Adlon (The Real O’Neals, Z Nation). Hunter used to be married, but after reveals of him cheating on his wife, divorce happened. Barinholtz did a great job playing a very hyperactive, overenthusiastic, and somewhat aware dad. And by somewhat aware, I mean in terms of how teens communicate. This is something that the movie dives deep into. When the other two parents were trying to decipher whatever it was the teens were trying to say based on what was being typed out and shown on an accidentally left open laptop, Hunter was basically helping the two parents out with knowledge. To add some hilarity to the mix, Hunter treated the text reading like a puzzle, and some lines given in context to that were nothing short of lovable. I was totally able to buy him as a single parent and his connection with his daughter, especially towards the end of the film, was believable and charming.

Speaking of divorced parents, you’ve also got Leslie Mann’s character of Lisa. She is portrayed as this somewhat kick-ass, caring, and memory-sharing mother. She gave birth to a daughter named Julie played by Kathryn Newton (Paranormal Activity, Lady Bird), and their chemistry was totally believable. Mann’s character definitely delivers a fine performance of a parent who is somewhat concerned about the future of her child, and when it comes to overall concern, Lisa shines more than any other character.

Now we have an interesting character, and when I say that, I mean in terms of who plays him, not so much of how he’s laid out in terms of overall characterization. We’re about to talk about a little someone in this movie.

AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!

How is John Cena in this movie? I’ll be completely honest with you, I don’t know. I couldn’t see him. He wasn’t anywhere in sight.

OK, I saw him.

John Cena plays the character of Mitchell, and he’s basically this overprotective father. His daughter goes by the name of Kayla, who in the movie is played by Geraldine Viswanathan. Out of each chemistry between each main parent to their daughter, this one was believable as well, but if I had to choose the one that is the least believable, I’d pick this one for now. Here’s why. I’ve done some research regarding this movie. John Cena is white, and he was born in West Newbury, Massachusetts. You’ve got Mitchell’s wife, Marcie, played by Sarayu Blue. She was born in Madison, Wisconsin, and she kind of looks like her family has an Indian origin. As for their daughter, the girl who plays her is from Australia. She might look like a mixed race child, but something feels off. Again, I’ll mention, most of my problems in this movie are nitpicks. John Cena though gives a great interpretation of a father and in some ways, reminds me of my own father a little bit.

Moving away from mature people, let’s move onto the movie’s three main teenagers. As you can see in the image above, they’re standing along with three guys, all of which you can probably guess are their prom dates. The three girls, Kayla, Julie, and Sam, have great chemistry and I buy them as best friends and dates to their boys. I’ll also have you keep in mind that part of that great chemistry may have resulted from the very thing that happened at the beginning of the movie. The film starts off with a montage in 2005, when the girls meet in kindergarten, otherwise known one of those times when you realize your life is about to go through a downward spiral of crap. The montage itself was sweet, effective, and illustrates the point that these girls are best friends maybe without having to make you question it. Their setup to actually plan on simultaneously declare their quest for virginity loss, might be a tad bit rushed, but you could also make the argument that they’re teenagers and teenagers often rush into things and I can totally get that. Maybe, and I’m not being sexist here, I would have believed this if the girls were actually boys. Because in real life, people usually think of boys talking more about sex and losing their virginity than girls do. In fact, this movie an interesting topic that I often think about in relation to that, which we’ll get to in a bit. But in all seriousness, girls, after seeing this movie, I want to know, would you say that from experience or personal thought that girls talk about sex and stuff like that as much as guys? Maybe in a positive light? I seriously want to know because this movie is honestly just making me think and I kind of want some experience or two cents from someone who would apply in the realm I’m referring to.

By the way, the girls’ dates were all pretty cool to watch here, but my favorite teenage boy in the movie has to be Kayla’s date, Connor. He’s played by Miles Robbins (The X-Files, Mozart in the Jungle) who not only does a great job with the character, but I also have to give kudos to the writers. The movie sets up Connor as someone who Kayla likes, but not as someone Kayla’s father likes. Granted, in some ways, it almost makes her father look like a dick, but it didn’t really take too much away from the movie. Listen to me, imagine if I were taking some girl to prom, I pop into her house, and the girl’s father looks at me and I have the hairstyle Connor has, there’s gonna be some s*it going down soon. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m not Kayla’s father.

Now let’s dive into this movie a little bit deeper and talk about how it tackles some issues regarding teens, parents, those kinds of people. You have many movies out there that might as well be quests to losing one’s virginity. Movies like “Porky’s,” “American Pie,” and f*ck, I’ll say it, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” Out of these movies, I’ve only seen “Porky’s” and “American Pie.” From what I’ve seen, I wouldn’t say they’re terrific. “Porky’s” almost seems like a good background movie in some cases, and “American Pie” was enjoyable, but I didn’t really connect to any specific character. Maybe it takes a couple watches, but I will admit, I didn’t enjoy that movie as much as I thought I would. Also, when it comes to these “virginity loss quest” movies, they’re usually from a male perspective. I will bring up that “Blockers” has all male writers, but the director for this movie was a female. To me, this brought an interesting balance in terms of what both genders thought of teenagers and sex.

When it comes to the parents, they’re obviously worried. John Cena comes off as very overprotective, not just because her daughter’s virginity is going to be taken, but perhaps even because it’s going to be taken by a guy whose hair probably doesn’t even belong in this world. Hey! I never said that! I’m not John Cena! Connor seems like a nice guy who knows that he wants his first time to be special, but hey, parents will be parents.

Leslie Mann is going through a bunch of worries when it comes to her daughter. She’s going to college soon and the mother is concerned of losing the kid she raised forever and ever. She wants her daughter to go to a local college and stay near her mother, but this girl wants to go to UCLA, and that’s just an upset to her. Oh yeah, and her daughter’s on a virginity loss quest, don’t forget about that! By the way, her daughter is technically the one to jumpstart this whole quest!

Ike Barinholtz, as mentioned, doesn’t even live with his daughter. Like Leslie Mann’s character, he’s divorced, but he lives alone without a child. And when it comes to his daughter, not only is he concerned about her being in this sex pact. He’s worried about her sexuality. Sam, the daughter of Ike Barinholtz, is gay. She’s going out with a boy. We actually see her worried about this and have a desire towards a certain girl later, but Ike’s character doesn’t have that knowledge.

This movie as a whole dives really deep into a ton of the main characters and unleashes little figments of their personality. It’s a sex comedy that doesn’t feel like a comedy where sex is bound to happen and it’s really all you think about. It’s almost more like “Revenge of the Nerds” in some ways because that’s a sex comedy, but it also dives deep into the characters and their own little individualistic traits to get you to care about them. There’s not many people who feel like they are just written on a page or cookie-cutter. This feels like a vision. Sure, it has that typical studio comedy feel, and it is complete with tons of Apple product placement, but the characters in this movie all have a chance to shine.

I will also admit, I was watching this film alongside my mother, and I was wondering how awkward it would be for the two of us. For one thing, I was not expecting much out of this movie, but also another thing is that I’m eighteen years old. I gotta say this movie came out at what might be a proper time for me. Relying on numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age for one to lose their virginity according to them is 17.1 (both males and females). Sex is something my mother and I don’t talk about, and why would we talk about it? What… benefit… is there to life… of having a sex-related conversation between a parent and a child? It’s gonna do nothing except make one of us want to exit the room! My mother actually reads this blog, and I’m trying to get inside her mind. What if there’s one day she finds out about me having sex? Sure, maybe when I’m an adult maybe that’s natural. OK, well, I’m technically an adult at this point, but certain members of society would probably still refer to me as a child or teenager. I’m willing to bet a number of adults know that teens, especially ones in my gender, think about sex all the time, but they always see us doing it as dangerous or horrifying. As a teen, I get why, but I feel like that no matter what gender the characters are, whether it’s the kids I’m talking about or the parents, this movie does a fantastic job of not only highlighting the thoughts of the young and the old when it comes to teen sex, but it also seems to add a nice touch by not choosing a side in this debate and calling one right or wrong. This feels like a film, not propaganda. I don’t know if it will open much discussion between kids/teens and parents about sexual activity, but maybe it will develop some along those lines with maybe close friends.

In the end, I honestly couldn’t have gotten more of a surprise from “Blockers” than I already have. “Blockers” feels like one of those movies that we as a society didn’t really deserve, but someone was nice enough to let us have it. I’d love to thank Kay Cannon for directing the hell out of this, and I’m sorry that I called your other movie a piece of crap. I’m gonna give “Blockers” a 7/10. Thanks for reading this review! Next week I have a week off from school, giving me more opportunities to go to the theater and see something. Maybe I’ll go see “Rampage,” “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” “A Quiet Place,” “Isle of Dogs,” we’ll have to find out! Also, be sure to stay tuned for my review for “Mission: Impossible II” which will be up by the end of the month! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, what did you think of “Blockers” if you saw it? Or, what is your favorite sex comedy? Me personally, I gotta go with “Risky Business.” It feels natural, the characters are great, and the music is awesome! Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!