Dougray Scott

Her Private Hell (2026): The Most Pretentious Science Fiction Schlock of the 2020s

Posted on by Jack Drees

“Her Private Hell” is directed by Nicolas Winding-Refn (Drive, The Neon Demon) and stars Sophie Thatcher (Heretic, Companion), Charles Melton (Riverdale, Beef), Havana Rose Liu (Bottoms, Tuner), Kristine Froseth (How to Blow Up a Pipeline, Oh, Canada), Shioli Kutsuna (Deadpool 2, Invasion), Aoi Yamada (First Love, Perfect Days), Dougray Scott (Mission: Impossible 2, Taken 3), Diego Calva (Babylon, Bird Box Barcelona), and Hidetoshi Nishijima (Drive My Car, Shin Ultraman). This film is set in a futuristic, neon-lit, mist-covered metropolis. At this time, an entity referred to as the Leather Man is taking the lives of the women he comes across.

Courtesy of NEON – © Courtesy of NEON

Nicolas Winding-Refn is not my favorite filmmaker. In fact, I do not think his films are particularly my taste. But I do have a soft spot for his handling on visuals. He knows how to put together a good-looking project. I have seen “Drive” and “The Neon Demon” and even if I do not think the stories of those films are perfect, I do remember the projects for their vibes and visual splendor. When I saw Winding-Refn’s name attached to this project, I was intrigued. I was under the impression that he could deliver something worth my time.

If you were to ask me to describe “Her Private Hell” to you on a whim, I would probably stand before you in awkward silence. I say this despite watching the entire movie in a cinema and somehow not managing to fall asleep. I kind of wish I did however, because this movie was a nightmare to sit through. Part of me is struggling to describe what exactly “Her Private Hell” is in essence, but Hell is certainly what I found watching this.

Anybody remember “Megalopolis?” If you thought that film reeked of pretentiousness, then you are clearly not ready for “Her Private Hell.” This movie essentially uses its, admittedly, sometimes pleasing visual stimuli, to compensate for its lack of an engaging narrative. There are some decent action shots and well-lit scenes that stand out. Note that I said the visual stimuli is sometimes pleasing. There are quite a few moments in this movie in which I wanted to nearly avert my eyes altogether. I am by no means epileptic, but there was a point during this film where I am shocked I did not have a seizure. I do have sensitive ears however, and there is a moment where the music is cranked so loud that I was convinced that I was dragged into one of those modern bowling alleys that thinks it is more important to deck out the place in colorful lighting as opposed to, well, provide a good bowling experience. Safe to say, I nearly left this film with a headache.

Watching this movie evokes the feeling of entering a trendy art museum with tons of colorful lighting, neon, special effects. But as soon as I leave said art museum, those are the parts of the experience I will remember the most as opposed to the exhibits within. When it comes to anything in this movie involving story or characterization, there is nothing that sparks my interest until act 3. This film strikes a remarkable first impression with its grand score, heaping production value, and concept of a mind-bending future. I even thought I would end up listening to Pino Donaggio’s music in spare time. But part of me is apprehensive with that idea as it will most likely remind me of the complete and utter boredom I had to endure during this film’s slog of a runtime. The movie is not even two hours. Yet it certainly feels like it is just a bit longer than that.

This is one of the slowest movies I had to sit through all year. I do not mind a slow movie as long as the content within it keeps me engaged. “Her Private Hell” tries to do that on every level. The film evokes the cyberpunk feel of “Blade Runner,” a movie which is also pretty slow itself. But unlike that 1982 classic, “Her Private Hell” does not present a cohesive story or series of events that kept my eyes and ears onboard. Does the dialogue make up for it at least? Heck no! In fact, it only makes things ten times worse! I understand that this movie is not in our reality per se, but I was not able to immerse myself in this film’s reality that showcases some of the cheesiest sounding lines I remember hearing in a sci-fi flick. There’s nails on a chalkboard, and then there’s the incredibly sluggish delivery given by some of this film’s cast.

I would love to sit here and suggest that this movie makes up in its style for what it lacks in substance. Thankfully, it does in certain ways. Yet as I look back on my experience, I remember not being able to buy one or two sets in particular. There is one set in this movie that has tons of crystals in the background. It is almost as if someone on the crew looked at the Meta Crystal stage from “Super Smash Bros.” and decided to make a more colorful, three-dimensional space out of it. I was expecting Metal Mario to show up at some point to show everyone who’s boss. There is a particular polish to this set that reeks of artificiality. It gave me high school play or “Saturday Night Live” vibes.

Story-wise, the only time I found myself somewhat engaged is whenever the movie enters a relationship drama between two women and one man. I will not spoil much about it, but when it comes to both women in particular, I was intrigued as to what was going to happen to them in relation to this matter. I wish I could have felt this way through the rest of the film’s content, but this is proof that we cannot have nice things.

There is an antagonist in this film referred to as the Leather Man. The film convinces me its characters fear this individual, but it somehow lacks the ability to make me fear him in the same way, or feel for the characters as they are fearing him. It is the difference between watching something and experiencing something if that makes any sense. Never once did I look at the Leather Man and tremble or get a bad vibe. Even when the movie showcases him doing immoral or terrible things, I sat in my seat as still as can be, desperately waiting for the credits to roll.

If I were to watch this movie on mute, maybe I would have a higher opinion of it. “Her Private Hell” is, again, in certain ways, visually pleasing. But whenever I had to dredge through the film’s cringeworthy dialogue, ostentatious nature, and snoozefest of a story, it only drags that opinion off a cliff.

In the end, “Her Private Hell” is one of the worst movies of the year. It is pretentious crap to the tenth degree. The best films can make you feel all kinds of emotions. But “Her Private Hell” simply made me feel frustrated and tired. While I have respect for Nicolas Winding-Refn’s visual approach, this movie makes me wonder if his work is actually for me. Part of me thinks it is not. Does the cast do a good job with the material given to them? One could argue they do. For all I know, everything I watched was as the director intended. But it does not mean the material was worth my time. I am going to give “Her Private Hell” a 2/10.

“Her Private Hell” is now playing in select theaters. Tickets are available now.

Thanks for reading this review! I am happy to announce that the ninth episode of MOVIE REQUESTS is in the works and it is going to feature the funny and charismatic Amy Sedaris! You may know Sedaris from projects like “The Mandalorian,” “Strangers with Candy,” and “Elf!” For the first time in the series, I will be reviewing two movies from the same person! What do you think they are? Leave your predictions in the comments! The episode will be posted here on Flicknerd.com and on my YouTube channel, which by the way, please subscribe to my YouTube channel if you have not done so already! Stay for the episode coming SUNDAY, AUGUST 23RD!

My next review is going to be for “Haunted Heist!” Stay tuned! Also coming soon, I will be sharing my thoughts on “Spider-Man: Brand New Day,” “I Want Your Sex,” “The Invite,” and “Cookie Queens.” If you want to see these reviews and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “Her Private Hell?” What did you think about it? Or, what is the most pretentious movie you recall seeing recently? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Mission: Impossible II (2000): Impossible To Enjoy

Posted on by Jack Drees

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read through some jackass’s review of “Mission: Impossible II.” Make sure you read through everything if your enjoyment levels are high. If your enjoyment levels are not high, please seek some counseling or other reading material. This is one of five reviews being done in preparation for the same jackass’s review for “Mission: Impossible: Fallout.” As always, should you or any of your Force be caught or killed, the Movie Reviewing Moron will disavow any of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

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“Mission: Impossible II” is directed by John Woo (Hard Boiled, The Killer), stars Tom Cruise (Risky Business, Top Gun), Dougray Scott (Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Deep Impact), and Thandie Newton (Gridlock’d, Beloved) in the sequel to the 1996 mega-hit “Mission: Impossible.” The first movie took a popular TV show, brought it to the big screen with Tom Cruise as the star, and a lot of people ate it up. So naturally, a sequel was released four years later, and this time there’s a genetically modified disease that goes by the name of Chimera. The creator of this disease is killed and stolen by IMF agent Sean Ambrose. Now it is up to Ethan Hunt and Nyah Nirdoff-Hall to go undercover and find out whatever they can about the disease. It’s not an easy task, but if the task is completed, the disease can eventually be brought down.

This movie is the sequel to the highly successful “Mission: Impossible” released in 1996. During its theatrical run it made a final box office total of over $457 million worldwide. This final result made it the third highest-grossing film of the year, just below “Twister,” sitting at #2, and “Independence Day,” taking the cake at the #1 spot. “Mission: Impossible” also made more than any motion picture release from Disney that year, which if your film is doing that nowadays, it says something. Four Disney films released that year were in the worldwide box office’s top 10 by the way. The Disney releases included “The Rock,” “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” live-action “101 Dalmatians,” and “Ransom.” Now it’s 2000, and “Mission: Impossible II” is on the horizon. Once it came out, guess what happened? It made more than the original! It made a worldwide total of over $546 million. According to Wikipedia, this film’s reviews were “mixed to positive.” Me personally, I felt like I was getting cavities filled on all my teeth at once, so I really did not enjoy what I saw. I did a couple things related to this review before I saw the movie (mainly some stuff that wouldn’t require me to watch the movie), but once I got down to the nitty-gritty, I kind of forgot what I just witnessed on screen. It’s kinda like a dream, ya know. Unless the dream is truly significant depending on what the dream is, not to mention when, and maybe where it happens, or if you keep track of your dreams in a journal, you won’t remember anything about it. I could just say that this is a fun action movie, and at times it is, but a movie like “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” was a fun action movie. Not to mention, it was also a more memorable and admirable sequel than this. This kind of feels like a fun movie, but also made because the studio likes money.

Tom Cruise is the star of this movie as Ethan Hunt, and yes, he is fun to watch without any doubt whatsoever. But sadly, he might be one of the only good things you remember about this movie. Seeing Cruise in various action sequences is a delight, but when it comes to him as a character, talking to other people, that’s when the movie’s weaknesses start to show.

And I feel like this is why the movie falls flat on its face as an overall product, Cruise steals the show as an action star, and the scenes where action is happening sometimes stand out positively like a t-rex in a museum. But when it comes to any sort of moment that needs to trigger with the audience’s thoughts, emotions, anything like that, the movie just doesn’t know what to do. There’s some great direction, some great cinematography, and if you find out some what happens behind the scenes when it comes to the action sequences, the movie might just get better. If you’re coming into this movie, expecting some great character moments, times where you can root for everybody on screen, scenes where there are stakes, that’s not going to happen, at least that’s not what I felt happened.

One of the worst parts of the movie is the romance between Ethan Hunt and another character who goes by the name of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall. I don’t own this movie on DVD, my only source of watching this movie is a Blu-ray disc which is part of a 4 movie “Mission: Impossible” collection, and on the case I have dedicated to said collection, it doesn’t give a single full description for one of the movies. But according to the DVD, it describes the character of Nyah Nirdoff-Hall as “beautiful.” Sadly, that’s the only thing they got right about her. Other than her beauty, nothing else really stood out about her. I kind of bought her as a spy, but there were times I didn’t care about her, I didn’t buy the romance between her and Ethan. That side of the story improved a bit towards the climax, but during the beginning it sucked. It felt really forced, and it almost reminded me of Anakin and Padme in “Star Wars Episode II.” It’s two people who are working together, and somehow they force themselves into a romance because, well, apparently there’s nothing better that can be put in the script! If you had to one day ask me what Nyah was like, I’d either answer to you, “What are you talking about?”, “Who is this?”, or “A Bond Girl.”

You know how in all the “James Bond” stories they have a girl in there that’s basically exclusive to that story? Well, that’s what Nyah feels like to me. And as I do research on this movie, I feel like I like her less. Because this movie actually made a chase scene which was basically inspired by a race featured in “Goldeneye” between Bond and Xenia Onatopp. I can’t talk too much about it considering how I haven’t watched “Goldeneye,” but on IMDb’s trivia page dedicated to “Mission: Impossible II,” it suggests what I just said. It just feels like the crew behind this movie didn’t have any idea how they can define Nyah through an original thought. They just said, “Hey! A lot of people like James Bond, let’s put some of its s*it into our movie!” I’m not saying that “Mission: Impossible” and “Bond” aren’t similar in ways, but I am saying that if you aren’t careful, you can become a ripoff.

I could talk about the villain. But you know what? He’s forgettable. So let’s move on. Enough said.

As suggested, the action in this film is great at times, but then there are times when it just gets–um–yeah I don’t give a f*ck about my life anymore, this movie is s*it! The action just gets so silly and stupid that it’s hilarious!

There comes a point in the movie, that Ethan Hunt and Sean Ambrose are on motorcycles. You can BARELY tell who is who. I was almost even questioning which person I was looking at during certain moments of the film! It was kind of like “The Girl on the Train!” You ever seen that movie? I know, f*cking bats*it crazy! I can let that complaint slide, because it’s more on the nitpicky side, but I don’t know if I should be complaining more about that, or about what I’m going to explain to y’all. Although I will say, part of me… is doing cartwheels of excitement over this! So there’s a point where both bikers stop, they’re looking at each other on their vehicles, and after preparing their motors, they charge forth! Each operator hopes they can annihilate their opponent, both do a wheelie, when all of sudden, they jump off their bikes, making contact with each other, getting violent as they fall off a cliff, all the while both bikes explode, as both beings land on the sand, and they get back up in little to no time whatsoever!

That scene… may have been worth the watch. It’s one of the STUPIDEST things ever, but at the same time, one of the FUNNIEST things ever. But yeah, I gotta say it, f*ck this movie!

In the end, “Mission: Impossible II” was impossible to like. There were several scenes of boredom that made me avoid enjoying myself. Some of the stuff behind the scenes may improve the movie a little bit, but when it comes to the script, that’s the Achilles Heel. “Mission: Impossible II” honestly just feels like a studio film. Created solely just to make money. Maybe some passion was put into it, but based on what was presented to me, I wasn’t able to see any of that passion. This movie took out elements of what made the prior one enjoyable, such as the layers behind it, the characterization, etc, and just stuck to action. Stupid. I’m gonna give “Mission: Impossible II” a 3/10. I enjoy action movies, and I also enjoy Tom Cruise, but this movie felt like an impossible mission to get through. I have heard though that this movie is rather divisive so I’m curious to know some thoughts from the people who actually enjoyed the movie.

Thanks for reading this review! Since next month is May, that means I’ll have another “Mission: Impossible” review for you all to read, this time I’ll be doing “Mission: Impossible III,” directed by JJ Abrams, who according to one of my best friends, “ruined ‘Star Trek'” and according to another group of people I know, “saved ‘Star Wars’.” So I’m interested to see where Abrams is going with this movie. Speaking of “Mission: Impossible,” if you want to read my review for the first Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” film, the link to that is down at the end of this post.

Also if you are bored and want to read something that I promise you won’t have spoilers that will ruin the entire meaning of your life, check out my review for “Avengers: Infinity War.” Click the red box below if you want to read it. If you’re reading this and this is the last post I made, you’ll only see one red box and that’s the one you should click on. If you’re reading this and this is not the last post I made, click the red box on the bottom left. Stay tuned for more great content, should you choose to accept it! I want to know, did you see “Mission: Impossible II?” What did you think about it? Where do you personally stand on this movie’s divide? Or, do you think I’m too hard on Nyah Nirdoff-Hall? I mean, she is gorgeous and the movie certainly gets that notion right, but I seriously want to know your thoughts! Leave a comment below, and I just hope I enjoy “Mission: Impossible III” more than I enjoyed “Mission: Impossible II.” Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE REVIEW: https://scenebefore.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/mission-impossible-1996-this-movie-review-will-self-destruct-in-five-seconds/