Blumhouse Productions

Fantasy Island (2020): Fantasy F***ing Island

Posted on by Jack Drees

“Fantasy Island” is directed by Jeff Wadlow (Kick-Ass 2, Truth or Dare) and stars Michael Peña (Ant-Man, Dora and the Lost City of Gold), Maggie Q, Lucy Hale (Pretty Little Liars, Truth or Dare), Austin Stowell (Bridge of Spies, Dolphin Tale), Portia Doubleday (Mr. Robot, Carrie), Jimmy O. Yang (Silicon Valley, Fresh Off the Boat), Ryan Hansen (Friday the 13th, Party Down), and Michael Rooker (Guardians of the Galaxy, Days of Thunder). This film is based the television series of the same name, and takes place on an island where visitors see their fantasies come to life. However, as time passes, those fantasies lead to nightmares.

If you’re wondering how I spent my Halloween, I did not really do much. I watched “The Simpsons” on FXX, which was airing a Treehouse of Horror marathon, I had more food than usual, and my mother and I hunkered down to watch this disposable film in the living room. I have never been exposed to any previous material related to the “Fantasy Island” IP. I am aware that previous material exists, in fact my mother pointed out some details about the movie that harkens back to older material. Unfortunately, regardless of whatever faithfulness toward older material this film provides, it is not enough to make a good movie.

This film is tonally inconsistent, structurally discombobulated, and all around just forgettable. Without looking them up on IMDb, I cannot tell you almost a single character’s name from memory. This is how bad the movie is.

This movie is an hour and forty-nine minutes long, it did not need to be that long. Honestly, if this movie took out some of the over the top exposition, they could have trimmed the runtime down by like a few minutes, maybe ten. Short and sweet wins the race! “Fantasy Island” shows that there is a fantasy out there for everyone. If your fantasy is to be treated like an idiot while being overexposed, then this is the movie for you. There are barely any scenes where one can appreciate the sound of silence, embrace the visual art of filmmaking. It’s almost like words are being hammered over your head and you have no choice but to stand by and take it.

One of the core aspects of “Fantasy Island” is seeing these different personalities come together. They originate from alternate walks of life, they have separate fantasies, and it is cool to see some of them in action. But this is also where the movie suffers in a way. It is great to see these ideas and personalities mesh together. However, the movie also suffers because you have all these characters with different backgrounds and aspirations, that there is no one tone that defines the final product. Is it supposed to be lively? Depressing? Hardcore? Sensual? You could make an argument that it is all those things in one, but as a result, the movie sort of suffers from an identity problem. It’s just weird having to jump back and forth to see something vastly different every scene. There are even moments where we linger on one character for so long that I forget somebody else in this film even exists.

Let’s talk about the script of “Fantasy Island.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this was written in crayon. This is an actual line from the movie.

“Oh, I feel just like Jodie Foster in that Jodie Foster movie.”

“Fantasy Island” is a classic for the ages!

The script for “Fantasy Island” comes off as a punishment for those who ever thought of paying money to see it. There is almost nothing noteworthy about this film. It is a sorry excuse of a script. Not one character will be remembered, not one line stands out as iconic, not one idea feels bold. All around, it feels lazy. It’s almost as if Sony wanted to make this movie so bad they didn’t care how many drafts the script took. It’s colossally terrible! The movie is from the horror-based studio, Blumhouse. And naturally, they took the iconic property of “Fantasy Island” with an intention of fitting in a horror twist. But it doesn’t come off that way. The film is not that scary! If anything, it’s more hilarious than it is terrifying!

Fantasy Fucking Island Jimmy OYang GIF - FantasyFuckingIsland JimmyOYang BraxWeaver GIFs

“Fantasy f*cking island.” -Brax Weaver

Me too brother. I feel the same way. How did we get here?

I saw a lot of movies in 2018, and one movie that came out that year is “Truth or Dare,” another Blumhouse production. I missed that film, and I still have not seen it to this day. In fact part of me is glad I still have not seen it as it has received mostly negative reviews and has garnered a 5.2/10 on IMDb. Turns out that “Fantasy Island” is from the same director, writer, producer, and has even brought back Lucy Hale as a cast member for this film. Have we learned nothing?

Wait… “Truth or Dare” almost made a $100 million on a small budget?

“Truth or Dare” is getting a sequel?

Take me to FANTASY. F*CKING. ISLAND.

Unlike some other bad movies I have seen this year though, “Fantasy Island” has one advantage compared to its competition. I watched this film alongside my mother, and we had no regrets. This is the kind of film that if you want to get flat out wasted while watching, I would not object, because it definitely has that vibe. So if you invite your friends to your fantasy island to watch the disaster known as “Fantasy Island,” I can guarantee you all will be on Fantasy f*cking Island.

I said earlier in this review that not one character will be remembered. While I still sort of stand by that, I will say one of my big wonders for this film, is how the casting for JD and Brax came to fruition. Because I watched this movie and I don’t know if this was coincidental, it’s like looking at Bill and Ted, except that Bill and Ted had genuine charisma and chemistry. I did not watch this in the theater so thankfully I got to shout as loud as I want, but every other scene I would say something like “Duuuude” or “Excellent!” They feel like carbon copies of a much more compelling duo! Some of their dialogue represents that too!

Speaking of casting, this movie originally offered the role of Mr. Roarke, which ultimately went to Michael Peña, to Nicolas Cage.

Have you seen his resume in recent years? Also, Cage! You made a mistake! If they got Nicolas Cage, I would argue that this could have been the greatest bad movie ever made. I could just imagine the zaniness all over! What a missed opportunity! Michael Peña does what he can here, and I could tell that he is giving it his all, but his performance does not hide some recent complaints. Overexplaining, too much reliance on dialogue, and horrible writing. I can also imagine the direction in this film.

“Quiet on set! Lucy Hale, explain everything to the audience like they don’t have brains! Take 57! Action!”

Did I mention one of the three guys who wrote this movie, Jeff Wadlow, also has a screenplay credit for “Bloodshot?” I did not review that film, mainly due to a lack of motivation, but I am getting concerned for Wadlow’s life choices.

I will also say, one thing that is different about this movie compared to a few other bad films this year is that when it comes to a recent bad movie I saw, specifically “The Hunt,” is that I felt more emotionally attached to the film upon leaving it. By that I mean I felt complete and total anger, but I still felt something. “Fantasy Island” did not really let me feel much of anything. Yes, I was shouting at the screen, laughing, maybe getting a little angry here and there. However, upon leaving the film I started to forget about it. All my emotions separated from my head and went to its own little island. That can be a good thing because “Fantasy Island” is not a good movie, and the sooner I can forget about it, the better. But it also shows that there is no lasting impact. “The Hunt” made me genuinely fill myself with rage, and that was kind of the point of the film at times. “Fantasy Island” tries to be entertaining and scary, but fails at every step of the way. As a result, we have a forgettable mess.

In the end, “Fantasy Island” is a major waste of valuable time. You can probably watch this movie if you’re drunk. But I would rather preserve my liver. The cast, while somewhat competent, are all wasted. Not one person in this schlock added anything of value. All that happened to added were endless streams of exposition. At one moment this movie is a poppy wonderland, the next moment we’re at war, the next moment we’re having date night, it’s just a lot happening at once. The movie has too many characters that all feel disposable. These tones would be fine if the characters were fine. However, that’s not the case. I’m going to give “Fantasy f*cking Island” a 2/10.

Thanks for reading this review! I am hoping to get back to the theater sometime soon to watch something new. The past couple films I reviewed were stuff I watched at home, but if I have time, maybe I’ll check something out like “The Empty Man,” “Come Play,” or “Synchronic.” I will say though, the film I am looking forward to this month more than any other is another Blumhouse production, and that is “Freaky” starring Kathryn Newton and Vince Vaughn. It’s a horror twist on “Freaky Friday.” They just had an early screening in my area, but I did not go as I was watching “Alita: Battle Angel” at the AMC that night. Such a good movie. I will be sure to buy a ticket, watch the movie, and share my thoughts with you all. I think this is going to be absolute fun. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! Also, check out my Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “Fantasy Island?” What did you think about it? Or, what did you do for Halloween 2020? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Hunt (2020): A Bloody, Brain-Damaging Political Meltdown

Posted on by Jack Drees

“The Hunt” is directed by Craig Zobel (Compliance, Z for Zachariah) and stars Ike Barinholtz (Blockers, Snatched), Betty Gilpin (GLOW, Nurse Jackie), Amy Madigan (Roe vs. Wade, Gone Baby Gone), Emma Roberts (Nerve, Scream Queens), Ethan Suplee (My Name is Earl, Boy Meets World), and Hilary Swank (Insomnia, Boys Don’t Cry). This film follows twelve strangers who are taken separately but wake up together in a clearing. They eventually find out they are placed for a specific gathering known as the Hunt, where elites take down those of lower class for sport.

“The Hunt” is a film that I have been intrigued by since I saw a trailer for it last year, particularly due to its subject matter. The rich hunt down the poor for sport? Sign me up! This can make for a good movie! Then the movie got delayed because of political and human issues. Although at the same time this movie gained controversy because it’s about liberal elites killing deplorables. I never really bought into this ideology, not because of my views on politics and society, but because I never picked up anything in the marketing that specifically shows anything of extreme political nature. Yes, there’s a lot of weaponry and shooting, and that can associate with the second amendment, but I saw this is a movie where the higher-class and lower-class duke it out! Kind of like “Ready or Not,” although in this case there is more than one person representing the lower class.

Having seen “The Hunt” from start to finish, I now see what everyone is talking about. This movie is extreme, unapologetically political, and most of all, it’s just awful. Awful, plain and simple!

For the record, I saw “The Hunt” towards the end of October 30th. This review is being written on October 31st. So I had some time, not to mention a good night’s sleep to think about this movie. There’s a lot that can happen in one night between the passage of time, stars shooting the air, and figuring out how you can sleep in a different spot than usual on your memory foam mattress. A lot of changes have occurred, and that’s why I’m here to tell you that when it comes to my thoughts on “The Hunt,” I can confirm that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED!

“The Hunt” is a mess of a film! The worst part about it, compared to a few other bad movies that came out this year like “Scoob!” and “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson,” I had reasons to look forward to it! Remember last year when we got “Ready or Not?” That movie SMASHED! I walked out of the auditorium grinning like an idiot because I felt terrified, but I had a ton of fun at the same time. Both movies deal with similar issues. Higher and lower classes going against each other, fighting to the death. But the thing about “Ready or Not,” aside from it being super crazy, balls to the wall, and just an overall good time, is that I did not need to know everything about either side to understand them. I knew one side was elite, the other not as elite. While I was rooting for one person in particular, I at least understood both sides. There was even a fantasy aspect to that movie! That is bonkers! And part of me wishes I came up with the idea for “Ready or Not!”

Here, this film follows a bunch of people on one side, pretty much all of them are on some level of the right. All of them are unlikable. But hey! The left get some representation too! Guess what? It’s just as bad! I don’t care what political identity you have! What your views are on gender roles! Just be a character that does not get on my nerves! There’s a ton of lines in this film that poke toward extremes for the left and right, and pretty much each and every time I lost my mind. Now I don’t mind political or social commentary in my media. It’s everywhere! One of the recent films I reviewed, “Yellow Rose,” follows a family living illegally in the United States. Regardless of my views on that, I saw that the crew managed to make a GOOD STORY first. They didn’t hammer me over the head with what I should believe and treat me like an idiot. Sure, every movie, including that one, has a vision and part of that has to do with what the director or writer feels is “the right of the world,” but if you can do that while creating admirable characters and watchable storylines, you will allow me to keep my attention toward the screen.

I always watch “Family Guy,” which dives deep into a political or societal issue every other episode, but it manages to keep the humor and for the most part, provides some intrigue from a character and story perspective. “The Hunt” had none of that. This feels like a bad “Family Guy” episode stretched out for an hour and a half because it deals with more politics, and crappy characters from left to right. There is not one person I could side with during this film. Everyone is just a caricature of what is wrong with society, and they fail to represent any charm whatsoever.

In fact, this whole movie starts off like a “Family Guy” episode, there’s political humor, blood, gore, and violence. Sometimes it’s borderline comical. Unfortunately, this feels like a “Family Guy” episode from the later seasons, where they rely too much on gross-out humor or dark violence or politics. Too much of something can lead to boredom with said thing. And unfortunately, when it comes to how this movie deals with political satire, it wears out really fast.

“The Hunt” is a movie that made me ask a ton of questions. For example, “Why am I watching this?” Another example, “When will this be over?” Also, “THIS IS ONLY AN HOUR AND A HALF?!” This movie may be short, but it is certainly not sweet. The worst part about this movie, is that my first impression of it resembled a sense of excitement. There was violence, blood, guts, suspense, and all that jazz, but by the time we get to the first moments in the gas station, all the building blocks fall to the ground. Yes, there is some intrigue throughout the movie, but I did not care. The intrigue came from characters who I never grew to admire. I couldn’t stand any of them, and I continued to wonder why I would watch them. And speaking of questions, there is some mystery attached to certain characters as the runtime ticks, but one question I wanted answered about the film never gets answered. I admire when films leave certain points open to interpretation, but this was not one of those times, I just felt pissed off if anything.

I will say one thing though, this movie has some good casting. Ike Barinholtz is genuinely charming here, and this should not be a surprise given how Barinholtz usually turns out to be one of the best parts of everything he’s in. Even in “Snatched,” that terrible Amy Schumer flick, he had some of the best lines and was arguably the most energetic member of the cast. Barinholtz gives it his all. Hilary Swank is likable here too as the mysterious Athena. And even though I never got attached to the main protagonist of Crystal, I think Betty Gilpin played her part well in this film. The cast is admirable, but you can say the same thing about “Cats” too! Doesn’t say much about the film’s quality! Ian McKellan is in this movie! What does he do? He licks a plate!

I’m out.

I know I recently said that 2020 gave the best film of the year with “Over the Moon,” which if you have not seen, it is extraordinary. But with “The Hunt,” this reminds me of the horrors 2020 originally intended to deliver. Part of me is glad I did not see this in March, because I wouldn’t have wanted my final movie theater experience before the pandemic to be so insufferable that I would not want to go back when everything returned to normal. Not only is this one of the worst films of 2020, but by far one of the most disappointing. I heard it was going to get political. I thought it would just be sprinkled in! THIS IS RIDDLED with political madness! Or even issues that should be human issues that are made political because our society is making heads spin all over! Just talking about this movie makes me ultra-nervous for my next physical, because it’s sending my blood pressure through the roof!

In the end, “The Hunt” is almost indescribably bad. “The Hunt” makes me want to move to Canada! I’ve rarely felt as grossed-out, and I don’t mean that in a good way, after watching a movie. Again, I go back to “Ready or Not.” That film deals with similar themes, but it leaves all the fun in there while also handling the serious vibe that these themes bring. And most importantly, in that movie, I cared about everyone, regardless of their motivations! So if you want to watch something spooky this Halloween, go watch “Ready or Not,” now available on DVD, Blu-ray, Digital, HBO, and HBO Max! Don’t watch “The Hunt!” And I will say, I live in the United States. This is too much politics for me before an election. Although I really hope that failed to sway me in one direction or the other in regard to my opinion on this movie. What is my opinion on this movie, you ask? I’m going to give “The Hunt” a 2/10.

This movie had a fantastic start, but it is all downhill from there! If you have brain cells, do yourself a favor, take a nap. Don’t watch this movie! They say that television rots the brain, but this movie destroys it. Avoid “The Hunt” at all costs!

Thanks for reading this review! Happy Halloween to everyone reading this, otherwise known as the last day that I will tell everyone, “IT’S NOT CHRISTMASTIME YET! STOP DECORATING THE STORES!” November 1st is when I think it’s go time. Although if I have to hear some of the same songs over and over again, I will consider going into cryogenic sleep. Nevertheless, I’m not sure what my next review will be. I will be a bit busy next week as I will be celebrating my 21st birthday. For all I know, I might not even post anything. Although I have been dedicated to making a post a week for years now, so who knows. Anything can happen! Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! Also, check out my Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “The Hunt?” What did you think about it? Also, did you see “Ready or Not?” What are your thoughts on that? Personally it is favorite movie of 2019! Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

You Should Have Left (2020): Not Exactly False Advertising

Posted on by Jack Drees

“You Should Have Left” is directed by David Koepp (Ghost Town, Premium Rush) and stars Kevin Bacon (Apollo 13, Footloose) alongside Amanda Seyfried (First Reformed, Ted 2) as a couple who book a vacation at a home in the Welsh countryside. I won’t say much, but strange things happen as we get to know our characters, their personalities, and their backstories.

How to get Peacock streaming: Details on NBC Universal's new service

“You Should Have Left” is the first film I watched on Peacock. For the record, I’ve had the service for a couple months now, but for the price, I’m digging it. It’s got a good selection of content, but one of my favorite things about it is the novel “channels” feature where programming is logged into a particular non-stop lineup. Nevertheless, as I stepped away from familiar territory to watch this movie, I was not sure what to expect. 2020 has been a roller-coaster of year. Not just for everything that’s been going on, but for film as well. The year started off horrible, stayed horrible, got slightly better. And unfortunately, I still don’t even have a 10/10 movie yet! I will say, I gave “Tenet” an 8, and upon repeat viewings, that score may have bumped up to a 9. Although that’s been pretty consistent with Christopher Nolan’s library.

As for “You Should Have Left,” it’s got a 5.3 on IMDb, mostly poor reviews from both critics AND audiences on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 46 on Metacritic. Not the best verdicts if you ask me. But I watched the movie anyway, because it’s 2020, who cares anymore. I gotta tell you. I sat through this movie, waiting for something to happen. And yes, things were happening on screen. But nothing of value showed up for a long time. It got to a point where I really didn’t care about our two leads.

I’ve said this before this year, I’ll say it now for “You Should have Left.” This movie is BOOOOORRING!

Now, it didn’t make me want to shove ten knives in my eyelids, which is a positive sign. But I had nothing that I felt I would remember all that well by the end of the year. The house where most of the movie takes place looks nice. It’s a proper location for a movie like this. But welcome to my house! Welcome to the Jack Cave! You’re under my authority now, and as an authoritative figure. I command that “You Should Have Left” pays attention to my demands. My demand being, listen to my negative review!

As mentioned, this movie stars Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried. Two competent actors. Both of them played their part well, I have nothing against their performances for the most part. I don’t think I would give them Oscar buzz or anything, but both actors serve their purpose in this movie and play their parts as best they can. But the problem is that I haven’t reached the opportunity to get fully attached to either of their characters. I don’t mind either of these actors, just the characters they’re playing. They try to give some depth to Kevin Bacon’s character, and said depth does play a sizable part in the film. However, for whatever reason, I never found myself 100% in love with either of the leads. I never had a chance to care. This movie goes for an hour and a half, but unfortunately, this movie spends much of its time making it feel like nothing’s happening.

Now I don’t mind slow burn type movies where not everything happens lickety split. I like challenges for the attention span every now and then. But this movie… I– wow! I can’t even describe it coherently! Nothing happens!

I will be positive here with my next statement, not just because I’m trying to lighten the mood, but because I like being honest. This movie also features Avery Tiiu Essex (Modern Family) and this is her second role… Ever. Her first documented role, at least according to IMDb, is Young Claire from “Modern Family.” I have not seen the episode where she appears. Admittedly, I quit watching the show during the middle of the series because I don’t see the humor other people see in it, but having seen her in this movie, I think she did a good job, and for a second documented performance. This ain’t half bad. I think Avery Tiiu Essex has a bright future ahead of her, but I simultaneously wish she just has better movies to back her up. At the same time though, this is perhaps the life of an actor. You do something to get your name out there, maybe the movie will suck, but you nevertheless put yourself before an audience. If I were a casting director, I’d consider her for a role depending on the project.

But honestly, just because this movie was competently performed throughout, does not excuse the lackluster writing. This movie has some cool traits behind it. The beginning is well-written and somewhat intriguing. It’s kind of spooky as well, and given how this movie’s in the horror genre, it works! But there are so many times where I just wanted to look at my phone. Keep in mind, I was watching this at home, not at a theater.

There were a couple times where the movie slowed down enough to give me the urge to rewind. And one line in particular caught my attention. And by that I mean, it sent an electrical shock into my brain.

This movie is based on a book by Daniel Kehlmann. For all I know, the book is better than the movie, I have not read it myself. But there’s a line where the family looks around the house to see what’s what. They come across what would become the daughter’s bedroom, and the mother suggests that her bed “is the size of Connecticut.” I know this is nitpicking… Connecticut is not that big of a state! CONNECTICUT IS THE 3RD SMALLEST OF THE UNITED STATES! There are so many other states you can choose from! Texas! Alaska! California! New York! Florida! BUT CONNECTICUT?! I know… This is admittedly, possibly the stupidest thing I could ever complain about, but it nevertheless irks me! Word choice matters! I’m sorry, but that line caught me off guard! I don’t know where it came from! The book, the movie! I don’t know! Maybe there’s something I don’t know about the character that could make the line better. What is their relationship with Connecticut? Did they go there? Did they live there? Do they hate that state with a burning passion? Which, if you do… Try Frank Pepe’s pizza! I It’s a place that started in New Haven and it now has become a chain in the northeast! This is not sponsored, I’m just a fan!

I gotta say though, before I watched this movie, I don’t recall watching the trailers. Although I did watch a bunch of On Demand previews because they showed up on my TV from time to time. This movie is not only less spooky than I would want it to be, but it feels very confused in its identity. I know sometimes there are movies where you don’t know what box to put them in because they are one genre or another, but if that were the case with “You Should Have Left,” it didn’t work. Is it a family drama? Is it a horror flick? I don’t know. It kind of tries being both, but in doing so, it can’t do either successfully. So if you get Peacock, kind of like I did, I’d look for another movie before turning this one on.

To add on even further disappointment, I should point out that this movie is written and directed by David Koepp. While I don’t talk about David Koepp too often, his resume is solid! Especially when it comes to his writing credits. “Jurassic Park,” “Spider-Man,” “Mission: Impossible.” He has screenplay credits for all three of these great blockbusters! I’ll even say that one film in particular he wrote and directed, specifically 2012’s “Premium Rush” is a film that I wish more people talk about. To see a guy with an admirable history in the film industry do something like this is profoundly disappointing, and it kind of makes the movie a little worse than it should be. Although I would imagine some would be willing to acknowledge his blunders as well. While I have not seen the film myself, many have pointed out that “Mortdecai” is one of the inferior additions to Johnny Depp’s cinematic library. Even so, Koepp’s a man who has brought some positive additions to Hollywood’s history! If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have gotten to hear Willem DaFoe sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” Just, make better movies. That’s all I ask.

In the end, “You Should Have Left” is the best possible title they could have given this movie. Because it was basically telling me, the viewer, that I should have left. This movie is dull, confused as to what it wants to be, and even though it has some scares, a lot of them are forced, cheap, and shoehorned! I think the young girl in this movie has a bright future ahead, but this movie will not shine on my best list at the end of 2020. I’m going to give “You Should Have Left” a 3/10.

Thanks for reading this review! My next review is going to be for the all new movie “The Last Shift.” This is exclusively out in theaters now, so per usual, I won’t force anyone who doesn’t feel safe going to a theater to go see this movie, but without saying anything else, I highly recommend “The Last Shift.” I will explain more about why I recommend it in my review, which should be up later this week. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or a WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! Also, check out my Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “You Should Have Left?” What did you think about it? Or, what are your thoughts on Peacock? Did you get the service? Do you have a certain plan for it? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!