The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson (2019): Worse Than The Haunting of Sharon Tate?

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“The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” is directed by Daniel Farrands, who also directed the gosh-awful piece of crap that some would call a movie, “The Haunting of Sharon Tate.”  This film stars Mena Suvari (American Pie, American Beauty), Nick Stahl (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Sin City), Agnes Bruckner (The Bold and the Beautiful, Once Upon a Time), Drew Roy (Falling Skies, Hannah Montana), and Taryn Manning (Orange Is the New Black, Crossroads) in a film that dives into the final days of OJ Simpson’s wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, as shown from her point of view.

If you have been following my blog, you’d already know that I have talked about a couple films this year and reviewed them. However, this is ultimately the first film released this particular decade that I have to tackle. And to be honest, I wish I could have chosen a better one.

To call what I’m reviewing a “January movie” is perhaps generous. Because for those of you who must know, the month of January is usually a dumping ground for films. Maybe the film is not that good, not that profitable, and maybe studios don’t know what to do with it. But when I think of other bad January movies, a lot of them contain some sort of charm when compared to “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson.”

This film is from director Daniel Farrands, who also directed a movie I mentioned earlier, which happens to be the worst movie I sat through in 2019, “The Haunting of Sharon Tate.” I don’t, THANKFULLY, remember all that I saw. But what I do remember is that I witnessed one of the most distasteful, incompetent, not to mention insulting films I have ever sat through. IT WAS EVEN RELEASED IN THEATERS! F*CKING THEATERS!

And guess what? This one is no different! Not only did it get a small release in theaters, but just like “The Haunting of Sharon Tate,” this piece of s*it can just go to Hell! I rented this film on Prime Video with absolute curiosity as to what I was going to witness. But honestly, this movie feels like a tarnation even if it is free. As I watched this film, based on the vibe and characters, this felt like one of those films that could easily go straight to Lifetime, but for some reason, I have no full idea why, this got approved for a theatrical release.

Technically speaking, it’s barely watchable. The music is fitting, but also kind of a waste of time and space. The camerawork… well, is full of properly framed material… But there’s not really much of anything special about it. But speaking of things on camera, this director must really love horror movies. Because I saw a review before checking this movie out, but having witnessed that review, I have been informed that there is a clip that might as well be out of “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Now, I have not seen “Nightmare on Elm Street” but I have seen the clip that this film CLEARLY rips off.

Actually, you know what? Saying that this film rips off “Nightmare on Elm Street” is honestly too generous. If anything it almost tries to… pay respects, I guess? BUT IT DOES SO TO ABOMINABLE LEVELS! If anything it just does a horribly shot and blasphemously edited sequence that pretty much can only be compared to something out of a really bad Michael Bay movie. The scene has so many massively off-putting jumpcuts and mind-numbingly annoying flickers that I am almost surprised I did not exit my viewing experience with a headache! IT’S SO BAD!

Speaking of Lifetime movies, the characters and acting levels represented in this film are very fitting for such an environment.

There’s this whole subplot about Nicole trying to find someone, the dialogue in the earliest scene regarding this is still in my head, specifically where one of her friends is trying to encourage her to go to town on a waiter. Cringe! Period! I can’t even form complete sentences at this point! GAH! Even if Arnold Schwarzenegger confirmed to me that it’s not a tumor, I’d probably feel like a tumor is destroying me as we speak.

I will give credit though to the lead actress, Mena Suvari, because I feel like even though this movie fell apart through screenwriting, music, and the lack of ability to helm a project, this is still a competent performance. I felt like this was the performance needed out of a character like this. She’s shy, not incredibly outspoken, and a bit reserved. It might be the best part of the movie. Although given how much this mess shatters itself like a newer model iPhone when tossed to the ground, it doesn’t really say much!

For all of you writing a book on the history of film reviews, mark this day, because I am about to use “The Haunting of Sharon Tate,” a film that broke me to no end that it wound up being my #3 worst film of the past decade, AS THE POSITIVE in a comparison. We have officially reached worldwide insanity.

Whereas “The Haunting of Sharon Tate,” did one thing, and I repeat ONE THING that could have been interesting regarding its screenplay, this film has nothing that feels fresh or emotionally investing, even though the main character is about to get bloody murdered! “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” AT THE VERY LEAST had one interesting point within its screenplay… Are our lives written from beginning to end? Is everything in our lives pre-planned? Can we write our own scripts? That reminds me, THIS MOVIE HAS A F*CKING DREADFUL SCRIPT! Am I being a little harsh? It’s possible. After all, this is the first feature-length script from Michael Arter, who also had a credit for “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” as a production coordinator. Still, I gotta be truthful, I have to point out what irked me, because honesty is the best policy.

In fact, get this. Whenever Simpson says something regarding how she thinks she is going to brutally murdered one day or something else along those lines, it felt like an utter joke. And speaking of jokes, there is a scene where Simpson and another character are sitting in the kitchen as they drink… WAIT FOR IT. WHAT COULD IT EVER BE? Oh, I know! ORANGE JUICE! Is it just me or is this movie a punishment for someone? Possibly a punishment for me?

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I should also point out, when it comes to Simpsons’ friends, specifically Kris Kardashian (Agnes Bruckner) and Faye Resnick (Tayrn Manning), their characters at times feature some of the most painful to watch overacting I sat through in recent memory. If this film was a parody, this probably would have worked. Admittedly, this is what the film feels like at times, but without any intention whatsoever.

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Also, Faye Resnick’s wig is one of the worst I have seen on film. It almost looks like a wig someone would wear if they made a poorly realized stage play for an episode of “Friends” and they needed someone to play Rachel.

“The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” is just short of an hour and a half, making it barely feature-length. Luckily, it does not feel longer than it needs to be, but this almost makes the movie feel disappointingly cheap, especially when considering that not all of the footage is shot specifically for it! Daniel Farrands is a director who I will be honest, needs to avoid going down the rabbit hole he seems to have fallen into. Is he a nice guy in person? Probably. Maybe he’s a charming fellow. This isn’t the only type of film Farrands has helmed. After all he has done documentaries before he dove into feature-length movies. Documentaries which by the way, also focus on the realm of horror. But I really think stories based on famous murders is not going to be something I would look forward to from now on if Farrands is behind the camera. If Farrands is really passionate about horror, then maybe he has some potential to create something magical within its genre, but these past couple of films I have seen from him have been dull, unsatisfying, and a waste of my time. Speaking of unsatisfying, this film contains a sex scene that isn’t exactly gross, but it feels poorly put together. The music in this scene feels incredibly out of place! It makes the belly-button sex in “The Room” look like “Pulp Fiction!”

In the end, this film is MURDER. It is nothing short of one of the worst experiences of film-viewing that I have ever dredged through. This is the first 2020 film, (some say it’s a 2019 film, but it’s a 2020 film as far as the United States is concerned) that I have witnessed. If this is not the worst film we are getting this year, not to mention for the remainder of this entire decade, then chances are this is God’s way of punishing us. “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” is perhaps acted as competently as possible, at least as far as Mena Suvari is concerned. Although the film is also shrouded in a piss-poor script, catastrophic scenes, and terrible directing. Is this film worse than “The Haunting of Sharon Tate?” Honestly, yes. As boring as “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” is, the film, from what I remember is collectively acted better, and I’ll also reiterate that the conversations about fate were at least somewhat intriguing even if they were almost tacked on. Story-wise, this film honestly has nothing. I’m going to give “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” a 1/10. This is honestly one of the worst films I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of them, especially over these past number of years. I’d honestly rather watch “Cats” again! I’m not kidding! It’s that bad! Daniel Farrands, get your act together, and make better films! Get crackin’!

Thanks for reading this review! I just want to let everyone know that I just saw “Dolittle,” the latest movie, not to mention reboot in the “Dr. Dolittle” franchise and the first film featuring Robert Downey Jr. outside of Marvel Studios since 2014’s “The Judge.” I just went to see it in Dolby Cinema and I hope to have my thoughts on it as soon as possible. Be sure to follow Scene Before if you want to stay up to date on my latest content, you can do so by using an email or WordPress account! As for social media, check out my Facebook page if you want to not only receive access to my content as early as possible, but also random thoughts from the Movie Reviewing Moron. I want to know, did you see “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson?” What did you think about it? Or, now that 2020 is here, what films have you seen so far? I know it’s early, but just for fun, give me your best and worst. Just to make it easier, feel free to insert films from past years! Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019): Once Upon a Time in Hellywood

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“The Haunting of Sharon Tate” is directed by Daniel Farrands (Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers, The Amityville Murders) and stars Hilary Duff (Lizzie McGuire, A Cinderella Story), Jonathan Bennett (Mean Girls, Cheaper by the Dozen 2), Lydia Hearst (Z Nation, The Face), Pawel Szajda (Under the Tuscan Sun, Agent Carter), and Ryan Cargill (WITS Academy, The Young and the Restless). This film takes place during the late 1960s in Hollywood and is kinda sorta based on the Manson Murders, which involves the death of Sharon Tate herself. Only, this film explores Sharon Tate as this… Timid, constantly emotional scaredy cat that barely even qualifies as a person. My f*cking gosh, this review is going to turn into a therapy session.

I’m reviewing this film in 2019, fifty years after the Manson Murders event went down and got attention all over the news. Interestingly, this is not the only film this year that involves Sharon Tate and highlights her final moments. The other film, for those who don’t know, is “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” These two films take different approaches to the Sharon Tate character. And I feel that neither of them are 100% authentic, but I want everyone to keep this in mind.

Speaking of keeping things in mind, I have kept this movie in mind for about a month or two. The popular YouTube film reviewer Chris Stuckmann watched and talked about this film earlier on in the year and he gave it his lowest grade, an “F.” So naturally, this film stuck with me, but not for the reasons that I think most people behind it would prefer. But at the time, I have not seen it. In fact, it’s easy to see why. If you look at the totals for this film on Box Office Mojo, it says the movie made $0 domestically. I don’t know why that’s the case however. I don’t know if the film didn’t garner attention to get people to see it in the theater, or if it even had a theatrical release to begin with. Were the tickets free? I don’t know if I have enough info to back me up. Maybe the film went straight to On Demand or something. Although before this film’s official release in the spring, it was shown at the Hollywood Reel Independent Film Festival. This led to three wins dedicated to the film including Best Director, Best Actress, and Best Horror Film. As for its release, this film did at least have some sort of box office total, as Box Office Mojo lists separate totals racked up in Portugal and Russia, which comes out to $19,717 when combined. As for home video, specifically where I live, the-numbers.com suggests that in the United States, the combined totals for DVD and Blu-ray sales come out to $9,932.

After seeing this film, I wonder how it got any award in the first f*cking place! Best Director? Maybe for a music video in the first couple minutes. Best Actress? Yay! Somebody won an award for doing nothing but crying until the end of time! Best Horror Film? The fact this film exists is a freaking horror story!

I just want to send a message to Quentin Tarantino for one quick second. If you have read my “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” review, I thought that film was nearly perfect. It did just about everything a movie of its kind needed to do. However, the one downfall is that for the most part, I could erase just anything involving Sharon Tate and have perhaps no loss of impact to the film. But looking back, at least that version of Sharon Tate was… well, COMPETENT! Margot Robbie embodied the glamour, legacy, and achievements of the character, not to mention 1960s Hollywood in general! The way she was written in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was at least respectful to her legacy compared to what this piece of s*it contains! It’s piss poor and it’s the stuff of nightmares! Quite literally in fact, because apparently one of the major parts of this movie is the plethora of bad dreams Tate has throughout.

Most of the blame in a case like this can certainly go to the directing and the writing. I believe Hilary Duff did what she could with the character. But there are a couple moments in this film in terms of acting that made me wonder if the director decided to do just a single take for each scene without a care in the world. You have to see it to believe it. Actually, please don’t, save yourself!

I will admit, I hate the fact that I am talking about this script as if it is the most lackluster thing in the entire universe because the fact is that it had one thing that sounded compelling about whether our lives are planned out in advance or if we can change our fates. It kind of reminded me of “10 Cloverfield Lane.” You remember how in “10 Cloverfield Lane” the main characters are sitting down, they’re talking to each other, and the topic of discussion happens to be about doing certain things before you die? Remember that? Part of the film’s script reminded me of that. But I didn’t dig it because well, this movie has enough s*it in it that just bogs it down to levels beyond one’s imagination! In fact, this movie kind of reminded me of another recent project that I didn’t like, “Midsommar.” It’s a film that tries to be scary, tries be dark, but just ends up being annoying. The characters are terrible. The main chick happens to be the perfect sponsor for Kleenex. And whatever moments there are that at least try to be compelling, almost don’t even add up.

In terms of how the film looks, it’s… OK? I guess? Maybe at times. A lot of the shots are serviceable, but some of the camerawork is simply off-putting. I am honestly willing to bet there was a point during shooting where someone accidentally switched the shutter speed from where it was expected to be because there was a scene in the first few minutes that didn’t even feel like I was watching a traditional 24 frames per second movie. Then again, I watched this movie on Prime Video as opposed to how I consume most of movies, which is through physical media, so maybe it’s my TV or the service or something! Nevertheless, it felt like I was watching a video taken on an older Blackberry phone or something! Granted, based on visible resolution and the color palette, the film looks a lot better than something shot on a Blackberry, but my case stands as tall as the Shaq! And speaking of color palette, the color grading in this film (if there was even that much to begin with) occasionally made me want to vomit. Now it’s not all unacceptable, but there were one or two scenes where I looked around the frames and thought I was looking at a slightly more attractive version of “Twilight.” I guess sometimes it fits the dark themes of this film, but it’s also off-putting! There are not enough mental breakdowns on this Earth to be had regarding this piece of crap they call a movie!

It almost seems somewhat unfair that I am comparing this film to a much better Sharon Tate-related story that came out sometime after this film did, but I honestly feel the need to. One thing both “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” and “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” tend to have in common is perhaps the slight over the top vibe that the film can tend to present whenever Tate is in a scene. But the thing about “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” is the way they present Tate. She never had any weird visions as if she had the force from “Star Wars.” She was a normal human being going about her day. A little hyperactive at times, but she was believable. I don’t know a crapton about the real Sharon Tate but if you told me that this version of her was the actual person. I’d almost think she’s kind of a jerk at times. Granted, the movie does go into issues involving her relationship with Roman Polanski and that does allow her to let out some less than happy thoughts. I could buy into that. But as for Tate’s other occasional over the top, Negative Nancy actions, I just found them to be odd.

I’ll be honest, I cannot think of a single thing in this film that worked. Funny enough, I just reviewed “Ready or Not” last week where I said that there is not even a single thing in that movie that didn’t work. Guess today’s opposite day! I just want to say one thing, for those of you who watch the movie (PLEASE DON’T), take a shot every time Sharon Tate either has a nightmare, becomes emotionally unstable, or cries. Maybe with enough sips of alcohol, who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy the movie for all I know! But I can’t say I had anything to drink. For one thing, I am under 21. Also, I had Diet Coke, which contains caffeine, which I probably needed to stay awake for whatever this mess was!

In the end, “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” makes me wish I was struck by lightning. I cannot think of a single redeeming quality in this entire movie, and if you watch this movie and somehow do, BRAVO! You have thought a lot harder than me. Then again, it is a little hard for me to think right now because I think some of my brain cells have just been destroyed. Now is this the worst film of 2019? It’s not official yet because we still have some time left in the year. Plus there is another film that is sort of in the same realm as this for me in terms for how much I dislike it. But even if it isn’t the worst, it is definitely the most poorly made of the films I have seen so far this year. I am not even joking. When you take the eye-burning color palette, the below average cinematography, the idiotic script, the lame-ass directing, and the obscenely lackluster performances, it all adds up to make the most incompetent product of 2019 that I have had the displeasure of witnessing so far. I haven’t even talked about everything in this movie, I have skipped over a number of the characters and performances, and you know what? Screw them! I can’t talk about them! This movie destroyed me to no end, so I might as well give it a taste of my own medicine! I’m going to give “The Haunting of Sharon Tate” a 1/10! Thanks for reading this review! If you want to check out a review I did for a much better movie involving Sharon Tate, be sure to check out my review that I did last month for “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” The link is down below and… Yeah, after seeing this piece of crap, I have to go watch that again because I need something therapeutic right now. Be sure to follow Scene Before with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! I’m also on Facebook, do me a favor, check out my page! Make the movie reviewing moron happy! No, seriously. This movie almost made me lose my mind. I need happiness in my life! I want to know, did you see “The Haunting of Sharon Tate?” What did you think about it? Or, did you see “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” this year? Tell me what you thought about that! Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019) REVIEW