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Replicas (2018): Keanu Reeves’ Latest Glitch In the Matrix

Posted on by Jack Drees

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“Replicas” is directed by Jeffery Nachmanoff (Legends, Traitor) and stars Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, Point Break), Alice Eve (Star Trek: Into Darkness, Iron Fist), Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie), and John Ortiz (Kong: Skull Island, Silver Linings Playbook). This film is about a man who works for a scientific organization and despite some downs here and there, his life is good. That is until he gets into a traffic accident alongside his family. He’s the only one in the car to survive. From this moment, his primary focus is on resurrecting said family through means of science.

Keanu Reeves is one of the best actors working today. He is one of those actors who has allowed me to change my perception towards them in regards to range and talent. I am not saying I hated Keanu Reeves back in the day or anything, but having seen him in “The Matrix,” it was almost hard for me to think of Keanu as anyone else but Neo for a period of time. An occasionally emotionless being who might as well be the heroic equivalent of an Amazon Echo.

USER: Alexa, try to make the first jump.

ALEXA: Whoa.

Then I saw him in “John Wick,” and holy hell that was sick! And at this point, in 2019, I feel like not just myself, but the world, is having Keanu fever. Keanu… Reever? Keanu Feever? Whatever. The point is, Keanu Reeves is arguably more popular and hip than he’s ever been. If you told me back in the day that Keanu Reeves could make another popular trilogy after “The Matrix,” I’d laugh in your face, call you a dirty rotten liar, and steal your most valuable possessions at night.

But today, we are not talking about “John Wick,” partially because I just saw the third movie and reviewed it about a month ago, and the fact that I purchased a Blu-ray from Best Buy of a movie that I for one am well aware, did not get good reviews. But for the sake of reviewing more relevant movies (as in, ones that recently came out) on this blog, I figured I’d buy it and watch it. And unfortunately, it is just about as bad as I heard. Like, what the f*ck?! Why did Keanu Reeves do this? Did he lose a bet or something? Granted, all of the actors in this movie, at least from my perspective, did well with what lackluster material was provided. But this movie felt like it should have gone straight to Syfy or something. I have a feeling that the studio behind “Replicas,” probably would have wanted to put this out on DVD or something, maybe sell the rights to Netflix. But they had Keanu Reeves, who as suggested, is probably a bigger phenomenon right now than the “Baby Shark” song. Maybe Alice Eve had something to do with it, but yeeeaah… Keanu Reeves is the bomb right now.

And sadly, the movie WASTES him! When he’s at work, he’s this serious guy who is insanely focused and has a bond with Thomas Middleditch. In fact, this is shown during one of the first scenes where Keanu is testing out a robot. And when it comes to this robot, he kind of represents the upright position of a homo-sapien, which isn’t a bad design. Granted, some of it looks cliche, maybe a little boring, but it’s at most, serviceable. Although at the same time, maybe even that is a little too generous! Partially because I then saw this robot move, it did not look real! I did not buy it! When it’s trying to gain control, it felt like the movie was losing frames. Movies are traditionally shot in 24 frames per second, when this robot moved, it felt like 12. What is this? Is this a movie? Or is it an online video game on a slightly tolerable PC?

You know what? It’s neither! You know what it is? S*IT!

In fact, that’s not all! Keanu has to figure out a way to revive his family, without getting into certain major consequences. This leads to an enormously off-putting scene where we have to watch him impersonate his family and make up lies. He tells the school his children go to that the kids are now being home-schooled, he’s texting with his daughters’ friends, some of these things just feel like they could work on an “SNL” sketch if the vibe was appropriate, but in a movie that I guess I’m supposed to take somewhat seriously, it just didn’t work for me. I could tell that Keanu really loves his family in this film, but holy crap, some of the things he does is just out of left field.

In fact, as a story, the concept could have potential, but at times it felt awkward, maddening, and sadly, BOOORING. I’d rather watch a YouTube video of some guy in a hotel counting all of the bedbugs in all of the guestrooms! You’ve got uninteresting characters, barely passable pacing, moments that make me as a viewer angry, and a cliche corporate guy who loves money.

It’s really sad how generic some of things in this movie happen to be. Sure, the story is kind of an interesting concept, but you’ve got a standard looking robot that does not come off as great, you’ve got the definition of a “suburban family,” and a lot of the dialogue feels bland and wooden. The testing in this movie kind of reminded me of “Fant4stic” from 2015, BUT WORSE! Granted, I wouldn’t say “Fant4stic” is AS bad as other people say, in my opinion, but knowing some things about this movie and that movie, that is a good comparison. You’ve got your randomly placed together characters, cliche writing, and a couple moments that made me as an audience member feel dumber.

In fact, there is a point where this movie’s “main plot” if you can call it that, gets into full swing, and I think the only interesting thing that happened is when Keanu is with his kids. It’s a warm morning and the kids at one point want one particular breakfast portion and once they’re finished with that, they want another decent breakfast portion. That’s kind of fun and quirky, give me more of that! But no, this movie wants to be boring, and as I write this review, I’m almost having trouble figuring out what to say. Out of all the characters in this movie, barely any of them have a personality. As for those who do have a personality, they are either less than fascinating or ordinary. I think a ragdoll from “Garry’s Mod,” simply lying on the ground on a map could potentially be more compelling of a character than some of these people!

Does the movie know what it wants it be? Probably so. It probably wanted to be this compelling sci-fi flick that could show the power of family and connections. That’s probably what I wanted it to be. But it was nothing except garbage to me, just the honest truth! When the climax arrived, I practically checked out. I didn’t care what would happen to anyone! Everyone could die and I wouldn’t care! The world could mutate or something and everybody would turn into banana splits! I wouldn’t give a damn! For all I know we get a plot twist that the big corporate dude from the beginning of the movie was Jesus Christ in disguise! Why should I even pay attention?! It doesn’t matter! Just let the movie end!

In the end, “Replicas,” which came out in theaters, feels like a carbon copy of a flick that went straight to Syfy. Keanu Reeves, seriously! Are you poor? If you are, I apologize, I’ll send you a Nintendo Switch to keep you entertained, I’ll bring some food, and I’ll organize a GoFundMe page! But why did anyone agree to do this movie? All the actors must have been “Alright, *double clap* paycheck time.” Because this movie is not just the epitome of bad sci-fi, but also a January movie. It bombed at the box office, and it did so for good reason! If you want a good Keanu Reeves movie from this year, go see “John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum.” I’m just glad I could actually say that since I waited until June to check this film out. But no matter what month you check “Replicas” out, you will wish you could die. Given how I would be fine going through the rest of my life not watching this movie again, and finding perhaps one or two minor positives overall, I am gonna give “Replicas” a 1/10. Thanks for reading this review! I just want to let everyone know that this upcoming weekend is the opening for “Toy Story 4.” I don’t know if I’ll be catching it this weekend, but it is on my to do list for sure. “Toy Story” is one of the best animated franchises out there, and even though I have been petrified for a long time on the thought of “Toy Story 4,” I kind of want to see it the more I hear about it. I don’t have my tickets yet, but I want to get them as soon as possible, so we’ll see what happens. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Replicas?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your least favorite Keanu Reeves film? I have not seen em’ all, so I cannot really say “Johnny Mnemonic.” This one is certainly a contender for me. My gosh, my brain cells are literally exiting my body! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

The Hurricane Heist (2018): Fast Storm, Slow Movie

Posted on by Jack Drees

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“The Hurricane Heist” is directed Rob Cohen (xXx, The Fast and the Furious) and stars Toby Kebbell (Fantastic Four, Warcraft), Maggie Grace (Taken, Lost), and Ryan Kwanten (True Blood, The Right Kind of Wrong) in a movie that’s pretty much as exactly as it sounds. A group of people want to pull off a heist, but why not do it during a hurricane?! It’ll be great! F*ck me.

I bought this movie on Blu-ray when I was in Connecticut, and while I can say that for the most part, I didn’t go in expecting all that much, I was just hoping to have fun. The marketing for this movie made it look bad, but the kind of bad that I imagine you’d want to see. Appropriately, the advertising had “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” I was just like, alright, let’s embrace the stupid. Unfortunately, I couldn’t, because this movie was just too boring. Sure, you’ve got an epic storm. But there is NOTHING ELSE of interest! I felt like I was watching the most boring episode of Bob Ross’s “The Joy of Painting.” In that episode, you don’t watch Bob paint, you watch paint dry. I was watching this late at night, and I still remember shouting “BOOOORING!” four or five times throughout this piece of crap!

What’s so boring about it? You don’t like any of the characters! The casting is wrong on so many levels! The writing is unrealistic! And I even think some of the dubbing is a fail too! When I saw who was directing this film, I knew this was not going to be a masterpiece, but this was so much worse than I originally thought it would be. I say that because having viewed some of his work, his movies can kind of fall into a guilty pleasure category. If you’ve never seen “xXx,” I will say that it’s not really a good movie, but Vin Diesel is believable as Xander Cage, he has charisma, Samuel L. Jackson’s pretty good, and you’ve even got some neat one liners. I love the line, “Don’t be a dick, Dick.” This movie has no humor, it’s too serious and almost feels like there is no passion put into it. Also, let’s be honest, with a title like “The Hurricane Heist” and considering what goes down in terms of story, doesn’t this sound like a pitch movie?

It’s a heist film, with a hurricane! It’s a disaster film, with a heist! We’ll put in tons of CGI just to have something the audiences can look at! IT’S GONNA BE GREAT!

Let’s talk about Toby Kebbell in this movie. When it comes to Toby Kebbell, he plays a guy named Will, and what I have to say about his character is what can pretty much be said for everyone else’s characters. All of them suck, they have no personalities, not even their quirky southern accents could have saved this movie. Toby Kebbell just lacks wanted depth and charisma, sure we get a look at his backstory at the beginning of the film, but you just don’t end up caring about him, just like any other person in frame. His sibling rivalry with Breeze which we were introduced to during the film’s beginning is brought up one other time. Let me just back that statement up for a sec though, Will has a brother named BREEZE. What the hell?! Who names their kid Breeze?! I mean, I imagine there are some Breezes out there, but I’m sorry for everyone who has to live with such an unfortunate reality of a name you literally have to breeze through! It would probably be more believable if someone ends up naming their kid Jolly Green Giant. What kind of f*cked up situation would lead to that, I don’t know, but at least the name would sound AWESOME compared to Breeze. Also, I feel bad for Toby Kebbell, he played Dr. Doom in “Fant4stic,” he was in “Warcraft,” and now this! Not a good track record if you ask me!

As you can see in the image above, Maggie Grace’s character is there, but I’m not gonna talk about her! This movie doesn’t deserve such a thing! Now let’s kill the rest of it with thunder and lightning.

Although there’s one character I want to breeze over, and no, it’s not who you think it is. I want to talk about the character of Dixon, played by Ben Cross. I’d say that just about everyone in this movie is miscast, but Ben Cross sticks out like a sore thumb. If you watch this movie and observe Dixon, he almost comes across like a douchebag character The Rock would play when he still had hair and Director Krennic from “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story!” I don’t know how to describe it without cringing! It was like I was watching a cartoon!

I know I said this movie was boring, and sometimes saying that is an understatement. But I also gotta talk about how much of a disaster this is too. I know it’s a disaster film, but you probably get my point. And while we’re on that topic, another film I saw earlier this week was “The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time.” This movie not only had the absolute boredom I encountered while watching “Transcendence,” you guys remember that film where Johnny Depp played a computer? But I’ll also add this has the s*itty effects and stupidity of “The Last Sharknado.” And I will give this movie something, when it comes to stupidity, this movie is better at being stupid and fun than compared to “The Last Sharknado.” There’s this one sequence where it’s all very threatening, someone could get hurt, they could get shot, they could die, then suddenly we see breaking glass quickly rising into the atmosphere! I lost it at that scene, I was DYING laughing!

And this does bring something up, I’m not old enough to drink yet, and I probably never will drink. But let’s just say I’m at a party with my friends and there’s alcohol, I decide to put on “The Hurricane Heist” just for s*its and giggles. All of the moments where I’d endlessly be bored, I’d probably just end up appreciating everything and laughing my ass off. It’s almost like I’d be watching “The Room” at that point!

And this boredom factor that’s applied to the movie, it’s just sad that it’s there. Because I imagine that I could probably get through this movie with s*itty characters, maybe there’s some cool hurricane action. No, all of it was boring. Part of me felt dumber after watching this, I just don’t know if I could end up recommending this movie to anyone unless they have the right amount of alcohol.

In the end, “The Hurricane Heist” was as tough to get through as a natural disaster. I don’t even know how I survived this movie. There are a lot of movies I see that I want know how they did something in that movie. For example, I just saw “Mission: Impossible: Fallout,” I wanted to know how they did the helicopter sequence. Similarly, I wanted to know something about “The Hurricane Heist” as well. I wanted to know how it got made. I mean, how did this come to fruition? Which cigar-smoking studio executive thought this would work? This wasn’t even fun, it was just a drag. It had the pacing of C-SPAN and it lacked the guilty pleasure-like fun of “xXx,” a movie that this film’s director actually worked on! Also, the ending is one of the most abrupt I’ve seen in recent history. I don’t think I’ve seen an ending that abrupt since either “The Circle” or “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” Luckily this post doesn’t end here, because I still need to give a verdict. I’m going to give “The Hurricane Heist” a 1/10. I will say though, despite my 1, this movie could be worse. It might be fun if you’re drunk with friends, but I was sober, so my brain just felt like it was taking a nap while I was trying to get the rest of my body to stay awake for over an hour and a half. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’m going to be doing a review for “Love, Simon” which I just bought on Blu-ray so look forward to that very soon. Be sure to follow me here on Scene Before either with your email or your WordPress account and be sure to stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “The Hurricane Heist?” What did you think about it? Or, what is a movie that looked like a guilty pleasure at first glance but turned out to be a piece of crap? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!