The Matrix is Getting Remade?! How is This Happening?!


Hey everyone, Jack Drees here. Last Wednesday I received some news that devastated me to the bottom of my heart. One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Matrix.” Not only is the movie itself spectacular, but it is the first R rated film I ever watched in full length so I have fond memories of it. Say what you want about its sequels, also say what you want about Wachowski movies in general, heck, there are people who actually happen to dislike the original Matrix. Doug Walker, AKA the Nostalgia Critic, a famous YouTube movie critic made a 30 minute review of it and he disliked the film. I have no problem with people who dislike “The Matrix,” I love it and I consider it one of the greatest films ever made, not everyone has to like the same things, it’s absurd to think that’s possible. I may sometimes question people for disliking it but it doesn’t mean I hate them for it. However, something came up yesterday I thought I would NEVER see. (Sigh) It’s getting remade.

Eh, yep. The remake craze isn’t stopping. We have seen so many remakes come out over this decade, and there are still more on the rise. Lets just list a few, and by a few I mean a lot. “Point Break” (2015), “Ghostbusters” (2016), “The Mummy” (2017), “Evil Dead” (2013), “Red Dawn” (2012), “Poltergeist” (2015), “Robocop” (2014), “The Karate Kid” (2010), “Gambit” (2012), “The Gambler” (2014), “Annie” (2014), “Arthur” (2011), “Beauty and the Beast” (2017), and “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010).


I mean, heck, I recently heard of a possible Tron reboot with Jared Leto as the starring role. Disney at one point was thinking of doing a Tron 3 movie but that got canceled, the fact that they want to do a remake of it and not a sequel is astounding to me! I mean, WHAT THE F*CK?! I’m telling you guys, it’s almost as if Hollywood is out to kill me right now, it’s as if I’m saying that the apocalypse has begun! I need to grab my pitchfork and duke it out against a bunch of executives in California! I need all of my movie loving pals to join me!

I mean, come on guys! For Pete’s sake! There is no reason this remake should happen! If there were any reason to remake this film, it would only be to improve the sequels, and if that were the case, awesome. Although I don’t really think that would be the case here. I mean, it’s possible, but another case I have in mind is just to grab cash from the viewers! Yeah, like, people are gonna recognize the name of the movie and they’re just gonna flock to the theater without a care in the world! Also, consider what “The Matrix” did for movies. It had stunning visual effects that still hold up today, it went up there with the best sci-fi films of all time, and it made lots of money at the box office as far as R rated films go. According to Box Office Mojo, as of now, “The Matrix Reloaded” is at the #4 spot for the highest grossing R rated films of all time! Granted that movie was not as much of a quality film as the first one, but it doesn’t change the fact that people wanted to see that. “The Matrix Revolutions” made half of what “The Matrix Reloaded” made, but in my book, it’s not disastrous as far as R rated movies go. It’s a huge dip, but it could have been worse.


The original Matrix film actually came out in 1999, right now it is 2017. I don’t usually see remakes announced this early for a film since another’s release related to its own property (unless we are talking about comic book heroes like Spider-Man or Batman). But let me just say out of all the remakes right now, this may be one of the most pointless remakes I’ve ever heard in my entire life. The visual effects still hold up today, the action is revolutionary (no pun intended) even by today’s standards, and oh my gosh, I also realized we’re gonna have to put in new music, there was some music in those films which I actually thought was pretty sick. When you look at something like Spider-Man, it almost feels necessary to remake it. I didn’t think “The Amazing Spider-Man” was necessary after seeing it, but that’s because my stupid brain for some reason couldn’t figure out they were trying to restart the franchise. Sure, it hasn’t been long since there was a movie with him, but it’s a story some people don’t mind seeing again, just look at how people reacted to “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” people didn’t like it so they wanted that series buried in the ground. Not to mention, not long after that movie released there was that whole thing with the rights to Spider-Man going to Marvel Studios. Sony was still allowed to distribute solo films with Spidey, but Marvel Studios was now going to use him in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and based on how he was portrayed in “Captain America: Civil War,” I can see the solo film being good. By the way, I actually have more faith in it now than I did some time ago now that I found out that Zendeya is not playing a black Mary Jane, she’s actually playing a character with a different name, which personally, I can get behind.

Any other possible positives that could come out of the remake? None that I can really think of. I mean, there is only one that I thought of but the more I think about it, the more annoying it gets, and that is someone playing Neo who isn’t Keanu Reeves. A lot of people consider Keanu Reeves to be a less than stellar actor, he doesn’t have much range when it comes to his acting ability. But let me just say, in some weird way, I can buy into Keanu Reeves’s performance. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but there are moments in the movies that only feel like moments Keanu Reeves can pull off. If they do remake this film, it would be interesting to see an actor playing Neo with slightly more emotion and a greater range, but that is one of the only few positives I can see coming out of this remake.

(Sigh) Just… wow. I have no words. I hope this remake is good. If it does get remade I’m probably still gonna see it, after all this almost feels like a job I don’t get paid for. By the way, if anyone wants to advertise on here, let me know and I’ll think it over (insert smiley face). Just a little note to Warner Bros, if you do remake this, you are gonna have a lot to live up to. There’s a reason why “Back to the Future” never got remade, and hopefully a movie such as that NEVER WILL GET REMADE. Is my life ruined? No. But it could be in the future if this movie gets remade into some cash grab which is the movie equivalent to getting hit in the head with a volleyball, getting hit in the nipples with one baseball per nipple, getting hit in the stomach with a football, and getting hit in the nuts with a soccer ball, WITH EACH ONE OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME! It’s probably gonna be embarrassing and painful to go through, and once it’s over, I’ll probably feel pretty f*cked up. Just… why?! OK, rant over. I’m done. Now somebody hand me my paycheck of $0. Wait, what’s that? Oh, right, at the end of the post there’s actually a link to a petition to keep this remake from happening, if you want to sign it, go right ahead!

Last but not least, I have an announcement, coming up I am doing a series of reviews leading into July, these reviews will be for past Spider-Man movies. This month I’ll be doing “Spider-Man,” in April I’ll be doing “Spider-Man 2,” in May I’ll be doing “Spider-Man 3,” in June, I’ll be doing “The Amazing Spider-Man,” and in July I’ll be doing “The Amazing Spider-Man 2.” This is to prepare for the upcoming Spider-Man movie which will hit theaters on July 7, otherwise known as “Spider-Man: Homecoming.” Also, just a note on “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” I am doing that review in July, but I will make sure it is posted days before the Homecoming movie comes out. Stay tuned for those reviews, and stay tuned for more of my content, coming soon! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!



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