Peppermint (2018): A Cluster of Ice Cream, Badassery, and Lifetime

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“Peppermint” is directed by Pierre Morel (Taken, From Paris with Love) and stars Jennifer Garner (Juno, Daredevil), John Gallagher Jr. (Jonah Hex, 10 Cloverfield Lane), and John Ortiz (Silver Linings Playbook, American Gangster) and is about a woman who lost her family five years ago. After all this time, she plans to seek revenge on those who killed said family.

This movie is from the director of “Taken,” which contains my favorite line in movie history. To be more specific, Liam Neeson’s character, Bryan Mills, is giving a monologue, telling a kidnapper to let his daughter go before they face consequences. Here, it’s a pretty similar formula, you have a kid, although in this case you actually have a *kid* and not a teenager like in “Taken.” Also in this movie, the kid does not get captured, she actually gets brutally murdered alongside her father. Not to mention, “Taken” was PG-13 whereas this was rated R, allowing the movie to get away with more on screen. But I can tell you there is something this movie did not in fact get away with, and that is being forgettable, boring, and just plain bad.

I will say, the beginning of the movie was rather intriguing. The buildup until when the daughter gets killed is rather interesting, and even the stuff that happens afterwards was still worth sitting through. I didn’t really feel bored or insulted. Although factors such as predictability, Jennifer Garner in terms of how her character was written, and simply how I didn’t remember this movie all as well as I would have hoped sometime after walking out all contributed to what could simply be referred to as “a piece of crap.” But in all seriousness, Jennifer Garner, while she could have been written worse, she wasn’t written all that well to begin with. Although has nothing to do with her performance.

When it comes to Jennifer Garner as a performer, it’s just spot on, and it’s basically what you want out of an action movie like this. She’s a badass, she’s takes no nonsense whatsoever, and she is always. F*cking. PISSED. Although I will admit, that is also a slight deterioration in this situation because of how some of the writing is in this movie. Imagine if this were a movie about Facebook, no relation to the social network. Whenever someone on Facebook is doing something that may be somewhat questionable, but it is really hard for them to control, Jennifer Garner steps in really angry and just tries to stop them from doing whatever it is they are doing. OK, sure, you can try to stop them, but have you ever thought someone might be going through a hard time? If it’s not hurting anyone, let them continue on, although I wouldn’t jump onto that decision right away, maybe private message that person and just talk to them casually, ask them how they feel. I know this is an action movie that might not really be trying to go for any awards, but actions have consequences.

Did I seriously just quote “Fist Fight?” How is that movie still in my head?

This is what I think contributes to the film’s biggest weakness, the script. Not only is it predictable, but only certain moments are worth remembering and the rest might as well be tossed in the garbage. Not to mention, this movie was marketed as what seems to be a very typical action thriller similar to that of “Taken,” “John Wick,” or even “Deadpool,” all because they are about getting revenge. And while this movie is also kind of serious in the same way that “Taken” may have come off as somewhat serious, it doesn’t seem to have much fun being what it is. I get the summer movie season is coming to a close and the awards season is getting to that point where it is gonna be in full swing, but this feels like a cluster of an Oscar film and a summer movie. It’s not a summer blockbuster, but it’s still something you’d pay matinee price to see, or maybe now that we are in a new age, you’d pay with your AMC A-List perks, just to waste time. Think of a “Bourne” movie that doesn’t necessarily try as hard to be compelling. I say it feels like an Oscar film in ways because you have Jennifer Garner, who must have delivered with full force as far as her performance goes, and the tone just feels very dramatic and serious. In a way, I’d almost take back my “Oscar” statement and call this an action movie that may be meant to go straight to Lifetime! It’s just under two hours, Jennifer Garner seems to be the right age and person to play her character, and it has some occasional cringe!

And speaking of “Taken,” this is from the director of that movie as mentioned earlier. Although when comparing this to “Taken,” if these two movies were my children, and I had to decide which of the two would end up kidnapped, I’d say this one in a heartbeat. This movie feels more on the cliche side, the way the action is shot feels like it has less passion put into it compared to some other action films we’ve gotten throughout this decade. I mean, when you truly think about it, in fact, I don’t think much thinking would be required for this, but whatever. “Taken” would probably be just another action movie had I not admired it for just the way it executed its material. Then it would just be this movie.

Now let me just warn you, we are going to dive into this movie and how it manages to earn its title. They say never to judge a book by its cover. But this is a movie, so those rules, be damned! Plus, this was never based on any existing property so let’s just do whatever the f*ck I please! This movie is called “Peppermint.” And you may be wondering why that title exists. Maybe you think that’s the name or nickname given to the daughter who was killed. It could be a nickname for the killer. Or it just keeps getting mentioned or thrown around during the film. Guess what? None of that’s true! The reason why this film, at least from my assessment of what I’ve seen, is called “Peppermint,” is that there is an instance where just before the daughter dies that she gets ice cream. And what kind does she get?

Well, what the f*ck do YOU think, idiots?

This movie literally shares the name of the ice cream she gets before she dies. Granted there are worse names that could be stated. This movie could be called “John Wick” even though John Wick appears nowhere in the film. But this title almost either sounds like a working title, or a title that was slapped together at the least minute. Some flak could be given towards Dwayne Johnson’s recent film, “Skyscraper” for maybe sounding like a pitch movie, in fact, that’s almost what the title screams at some points. But at least it just sounded like it had things revolving around that title more than “Peppermint” did. I don’t know what title I would end up giving to “Peppermint” at this point if I had the power, but probably not “Peppermint.” Heck, even “Die Family Die!” would be a better title than this! It sounds stupid, but really f*cking intriguing.

Speaking of which, one thing that I found intriguing is the way this movie takes a look at Los Angeles and makes it look like this depressing wasteland. Bums are all over the place, it just seems trashy, and nothing of glory seems to be displayed. When I think of LA, I think of tall buildings, I think of movie stars, I think of culture. This movie gives a giant f*ck you to that and I kind of admire the movie for doing such a thing. I can’t wait for the sequel where they start the movie in New York and they show people asking for money on the street, horns honking everywhere, and creepy Disney character impersonators kidnapping children and their parents!

Guys, in the end, while I don’t think I have much else to say about “Peppermint,” most of what I have to say is not really all that positive. “Peppermint” could have been a fun movie, a compelling movie, or even a good movie. But the thing is that it probably doesn’t know what it wants to be. Is it trying to be an action-packed, made for audiences to go in and chew on popcorn time-waster? Is it trying to be a serious drama that would make you root for the mother? I don’t know. Guys, if you want a good movie about revenge, go watch “John Wick!” Go watch “V For Vendetta!” Not this crap. I’m gonna give “Peppermint” a 3/10. Thanks for reading this review! Tomorrow I’m gonna be going out to the theater to see “The Meg” so expect a review of that very soon, also if content consistency seems to be slower than usual, I should have you know, I’m in college now, so I apologize for any inconvenience this may be causing. However, let me just have you know that my resolution for 2018 is to deliver at least one Scene Before post each week. So I’m not saying this is dying. It’s still a serious commitment, it’s still going on, and I will make sure I deliver whatever content I can whenever I can. I may be doing something for someone else, but I’m also doing something for YOU, my 32 followers. With that being said, be sure to follow this blog if you haven’t already by clicking the follow button and following either with a WordPress account or an email so you can stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Peppermint?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite movie with Jennifer Garner in it? If you ask me, I gotta go with “Juno.” Let me know about your favorites in the comments! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Adrift (2018): Weirdest Non-Linear Movie Ever?

Before we dive into the sea from our sailboats and talk about the total shipwreck that is “Adrift,” allow me to just introduce to two fish in said sea who once found love. Their names are Paul and Genevieve. The two knew each other for a long time, happened to be relaxing one day, and suddenly decided to have a kid. Unfortunately for the couple, they might as well have suffered some massive shark bites along the way, because as they say, “trying to have a baby is freakin’ hard, man!” This is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF?” is a new series on YouTube revolving around the recently mentioned couple as they attempt to have a baby. They eventually realize that having a baby isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and it is for them, possibly harder than RAISING the child. The couple stick and suffer together in tests, procedures, math, sexual activity, and of course, needles. You can find the latest content from the “WTIVF?” YouTube channel and also be sure to subscribe and ring the bell if you haven’t already. Their latest episode actually drifts away from the normal series because as Paul explains in the beginning, the bathroom inside his and Genevieve’s house is being renovated. Instead, they are showing the first movie Paul and Genevieve made together as they attended film school. Be sure to check that out if that’s your thing! Also, speaking of checking things out, be sure to check out the “WTIVF?” website, along with with the show’s social media profiles, including their recently mentioned YouTube channel, where all of their latest content is uploaded! Also be sure to tell them that Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

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“Adrift” is directed by Baltasar Kormákur (2 Guns, Everest) and stars Shailene Woodley (Divergent, Big Little Lies) alongside Sam Clafin (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Me Before You) and is based on a true story, which has a book on it written by Tami Oldham Ashcraft and Susea McGearhart. This true story is about a couple who meet each other, fall in love, and soon find themselves adrift at sea.

I saw this movie yesterday, and for those of you who are reading this the day this post is up, that means you can tell I saw this on Monday, June 4th, 2018. I had some time on my hands, so I figured I’d catch a 12PM show at one of my local theaters. And you know what? It was a nice theater! It’s an AMC, and as far as my area is concerned (eastern Massachusetts) if you are a movie theater that happens to be under the AMC brand name, there’s a good chance I already like you. I like the AMC cinema chain, but I can’t say I like this movie. In all honestly, this is one of the weirdest movies I’ve watched in recent memory. And no, I don’t mean in a Wes Anderson-esque type of way where the movie is an enjoyable quirk-fest like “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” If the movie were enjoyable, I’d be in a somewhat happier state of mind.

Having heard about this movie, I am well aware this is based on both a true story and a book. Going into the movie, I didn’t have complete familiarity with either two parts to this material, so I was heading into the auditorium rather blind. And for those of you who don’t have the brain capacity or IQ to determine what I mean, I say that in a sense of not knowing anything. My sight was still intact. Although with this movie, at times I kind of wanted to not only be blind in a literal sense. But also deaf. Maybe dead too.

You might be asking based on what I’m uttering to you all, “Is this the worst movie of the year?” No. I won’t give my final verdict yet, but it’s not the worst movie of the year. It’s not even the worst movie of the decade. There are still some things I can truly appreciate about “Adrift” so let’s get some positives out of the way before I lose my sanity.

“Adrift,” to my lack of surprise, has extremely well thought out location choices. Most of the movie takes place at sea, so you can often gaze at the beauty of the blue water shown in the film if that’s your thing. Everything fit a rather exotic/sea-like vibe very well. Too bad the movie wasn’t worth SEAing.

Also, to help you at viewing the movie’s locations, there are cameras to assist in that sort of job. The cinematography in “Adrift” was certainly not bad for the most part. Everything was very well shot, not Oscar-worthy or anything, although in some cases I guess it can come close, but it’s very competent and can certainly make you feel like you’re at sea, getting shipwrecked, or jumping into water.

The biggest positive this movie has however is that Shailene Woodley is f*cking awesome. Her lead performance in this movie is everything that this movie needed if all anyone ever appreciated in Hollywood is acting. There were several scenes where Shailene Woodley would speak, yell, commit to some sort of action, and it would be believable. Her character is Tami Oldham, one of the two people who get shipwrecked in the story, and she is a combination of charming, curious, but also scared. This is especially when consider some of the movie’s scenes and one key trait she has that separates her from other people. Turns out she is a vegetarian, and if you’re at sea and you don’t have anything to eat, you’re kind of out of luck.

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Woodley’s co-star, Sam Clafin, plays Richard Sharp. And while Clafin doesn’t necessarily give the worst performance I’ve seen. There are a couple times in this movie that somewhat stick out to me where it almost seems that he’s unenthusiastic or he’s desperately begging for a paycheck, a break, or an opportunity to leave. To be fair though, I heard that shooting days were not the shortest for this movie, plus most of it is at sea. I don’t know for sure, so don’t take my word on this, but maybe Clafin gets seasick real easy. Although, there were just times where instead of feeling like I was watching a professional actor, I felt more like I was watching an employee at the DMV who never acted once in his life, who just wanted a step up from his job so he can get out of his rathole.

Speaking of things people want to get out of, I wanted to get out of this movie! Part of it had to do with perhaps the biggest problem I’ve faced throughout the movie’s entire runtime. You know how some movies are told in a non-linear fashion? Some of my favorite movies do this because in one way or another, it adds to the overall greatness of the product. Here, they go back and forth between the wreck and whatever sort of happenings occur before the wreck. My question about all of this is: Why the f*ck would you do this s*it?

Unlike a number of movies I’ve seen, movies including “Memento,” “Arrival,” “Deadpool,” these are all told in such a fascinating non-linear way that is so brilliant and in ways, makes the movie more engaging. This however, LITERALLY DOES NOTHING FOR THE MOVIE. There’s another movie that’s somewhat similar to this, Disney’s “The Finest Hours,” which released in 2016. That movie, while not good, was told in a very conventional linear order and made the movie stable. If “Adrift” was done in a linear fashion, the movie would have been better! It would have a slightly higher purpose of even existing!

This is not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it is quite possibly the biggest mish-mash of a movie I’ve ever seen. Have you seen the YouTube series “Will It Blend?” It’s a viral marketing campaign where a guy attempts to blend unusual things with a Blendtec blender and see how they turn out. I wonder if the writers had a mindset similar to the ideas of that show, but ultimately, this does not blend.

This almost makes this movie feel like there are just a bunch of random scenes put together. In fact, I actually once watched one review online before going to see the movie, by the way, the reviewer was YouTuber Chris Stuckmann. He talked about the non-linear storytelling and when I heard about this, my hopes for this movie dwindled a bit. But I saw it anyway. He makes a point that this makes you care less about the two leads of the film through the way the story is told. I’m not sure how much better this will be had they gone in linear order, but Stuckmann certainly makes a terrific point that I can side with. Let me ask you something about a different disaster movie/love story. Did “Titanic” need to be told in a non-linear perspective? LET THAT SINK IN. I mean, sure, it kind of was told in a non-linear order since it was all a flashback, but for the most part, you are seeing a story from beginning to end. You care about Jack and Rose in “Titanic” because you see them develop their journeys as characters from beginning to end. And you know what? It’s kind of sad that when it comes to the realm of film that I more care about two fictionalized characters in a real-life disaster shown on screen as opposed to two actual characters in a real-life disaster shown on screen. Just… LET THAT SINK IN.

In the end I gotta say that “Adrift” felt like an extended drift to get through, if you catch my drift. This is one of the most disappointingly odd movies I’ve watched in my entire life. I mean, it has some good things about it, but the negatives seriously outweigh the positives this movie has to offer. I wouldn’t say this is Shailene Woodley’s worst work yet, however, this is one of those movies I will not be coming back to, even if I was stranded at sea, had a working portable DVD player, and a DVD copy of the film. I’m going to give “Adrift” a 3/10. Thanks for reading this review! Pretty soon I’m going to have my review up for “Tag” which is in theaters everywhere on Friday, June 15th. I’m going to see it tonight courtesy of Warner Brothers, and I kinda sorta just found out about the movie’s review embargo. While I don’t know the official date quite yet, I won’t be able to review it right after I see it, so there’s a good chance that I won’t be able to give a detailed review until say, sometime next week. I’ll definitely make the review this week, but I’m gonna probably schedule it to be up RIGHT when the embargo lifts.

Also, for those of you who follow or care to know about my personal Twitter (@JackDrees) I made a poll yesterday. I would like to thank the four people who responded to it. I asked you all what I should do for a new post given that that I’ve now seen “2001: A Space Odyssey” in the 70mm format. The top pick was the fourth option, “Combo/other.” So you know what? The majority spoke, and the majority will get what they want!

That’s what I would say if I didn’t know what sarcasm was.

Because out of the two people who said the fourth option was their preference, they both failed at following ONE SIMPLE RULE.

Since character limits are bitches, I stated in the choice “(comment plz),” because I wanted you people to specify what exactly it was that you wanted me to do. Neither of you did. And now for your brutal, deadly, lesson-filled punishment, I’m gonna make the decision myself! It’s my blog, I can do what I want! I have the creative freedom around here! And to add onto the punishment, I will state that I’m not even going to tell what exactly I plan to do! OK… I will say though… I’m kinda still deciding. Something’s coming. It’ll be a surprise. And you’ll find out soon. Be sure to look out for my mysterious “2001: A Space Odyssey” post! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “Adrift?” What did you think about it? Or what is the worst movie you’ve seen that has some form of non-linear storytelling? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Underworld: Blood Wars (2016): More Like Bore Wars *SPOILERS*

Before we dive into this review for the crime against movies known as “Underworld: Blood Wars,” I’d like to take a second to promote something to you all. Keep in mind, when I say promote, I don’t mean that as in I’m advertising something for money. I just discovered something the other day that I think will totally interest a number of people reading this post and I want to share it with you all. So it’s free advertising! I want introduce you all to an app called Stardust.

Stardust is a free app you can download on your mobile device. It’s basically Snapchat for movies and TV. Now I find it amazing that I like this because I don’t like Snapchat. How does it work? You can search for any movie or TV episode and record a short length video featuring your reaction and/or thoughts to the movie or TV episode. For example, if you go see the latest movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe or if there’s a movie you like or dislike that you really want to talk about, you can record a video summing up your thoughts. Or if there’s a TV show you’re watching and you want to talk about a specific episode, you can bring that up as well. I know this for a fact when it comes to movies, I’m not sure what the case is when it comes to TV, considering I’ve only talked about movies on Stardust thus far, you don’t even have to see the movie you’re watching. You can give your thoughts about any of this stuff at any given time even without knowledge of said stuff. Just don’t do it when you’re naked, that’s what intimate video chat is for. Plus, it’s kinda weird. You can also find other people who use the app and follow them for updates on their movie and TV thoughts. If you want to find me on the app, my handle is JackDrees, go check it out! Now with that out of the way, let’s start the review.

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“Underworld: Blood Wars” is the fifth installment in the “Underworld” franchise. It began back in 2003 and now it has lead up to its most recent installment which has come out in theaters January of 2017 (even though you can also call this a 2016 movie). This film is directed by Anna Foerster, who has directed episodes of TV shows like “Outlander” and “Criminal Minds.” This film stars Kate Beckinsale (The Disappointments Room, The Aviator), Theo James (Divergent, Golden Boy), Tobias Menzies (Casino Royale, Outlander) and involves the main character of Selene as she tries to end a war between the Lycans and the Vampires.

When it comes to the “Underworld” franchise, I can imagine that some people see this as a series that shouldn’t be taken too seriously, and I can kind of understand why, but that doesn’t mean all of its movies are good. I enjoyed the first two movies, but the other sequels leading up to “Blood Wars” were just awful. “Rise of the Lycans” probably has the one of the most poorly presented sex scenes in cinematic history, and “Awakening” is just plain forgettable. Not only that, but even the good movies aren’t even that great. I’ve gone back to watch the first movie more than once, but other than that, I had no desire to watch the other ones again. OK, to be fair, I actually watched 3 & 4 for the first time recently, but I haven’t really gone back to watch 2. Despite my hate for 3 & 4, I wouldn’t say they belong in the garbage bin. Granted, 4 comes close, but it’s not quite there. This movie however, might just have a place in said bin. If you think about it, this news isn’t really all that surprising. This movie released theatrically in the month of January and it’s the fifth installment in the franchise which is coming out five years after the previous installment, which by “Underworld” standards is unusual because these movies typically come out three years apart from each other. For the record, this isn’t the only fifth installment in a franchise to come out this year that I disliked, “Transformers” is another example.

Before we dive into anything else, I just want to bring up how forgettable and boring this movie truly is! I barely remember anything in the movie plot-wise (if there is one). In fact I think “Transformers 5” had more of a plot than “Underworld 5.” All I can recall is that there was this huge quest for blood, mindless action, weird editing techniques, characters I didn’t give a s*it about, and just random nonsense! I’ve sat through a couple boring movies this year: “Logan Lucky,” “Ghost in the Shell,” but here’s the thing about those movies, they qualify as movies! “Logan Lucky” has good cinematography and acting, “Ghost in the Shell” has stellar action and great visual effects that makes you almost feel like you’re watching “The Fifth Element” or “Blade Runner.” This movie has like a couple coolish moments having to do with action but that’s about it for the positives! Let me just put it this way, “Rise of the Lycans,” is not good, but, at least there I cared for the characters. I cared for nobody here. I mean, I knew who some of the people were, it would be somewhat shocking if I didn’t know who Selene was considering I watched four other movies leading up to this one with her in it. Speaking of which, let’s talk about her.

Kate Beckinsale plays Selene once again and she’s pretty much the same character you can truly expect to see here if you’ve watched previous “Underworld” installments. However, unlike other movies I’ve seen her in where her character is rather kick-ass at times, you don’t really get any moments here that stand out in terms of kickassery. I can still remember the first movie when there was a scene where Selene had to shoot around a floor that stood out. I still remember a scene from the end of the first movie, the one where she slowly bites that one dude. Granted there were still moments of action out of “Underworld: Blood Wars” that I still remember, both for good and bad reasons. But there’s not really many moments where people shine here. It’s kind of like “Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise,” which now that I think about it, another thing these two films have in common is the boredom factor. Although I’ll say, “Revenge of the Nerds II” didn’t have as many boring moments which means this movie is more like “The Girl on the Train.”

As far as the other characters go, I’m not even gonna list them, because who gives a f*ck about the other characters?! The other characters certainly move the story along, but they were unmemorable despite seeing some of these folks before such as Theo James’s character of David, but these characters have no outstanding qualities about them.

The action in this movie, as mentioned, was both good and bad. There was a scene in a cage that was rather interesting to watch, although from an editing perspective, maybe slightly flawed by the looks of it. I own the Blu-Ray so I could probably look back and see if I’m just imagining things. The opening action sequence had potential to be somewhat cool but the editing in that scene at times was just somewhat jarring! The ending action sequence was rather cool, but chances are I won’t remember it that well. The sound editing was pretty good, but I can’t really think of anything else that was really that slick. Oh yeah, and SPOILER ALERT ahead, once the final action sequence ends, the movie doesn’t have much time left until it ends, and it’s actually open ended. I checked the movie’s IMDb page and Len Wiseman, a producer behind the “Underworld” movies, says that there will be a sixth film in the franchise! If this were another franchise, it’s possible that I might be rather excited, but based on how these movies progressively get worse, I can’t say the same about this! It’ll also star Kate Beckinsale one last time, and I hope it’s one last time because these movies need to die. As much as I enjoyed the first two “Underworld” installments, it’s objective that the franchise doesn’t really qualify as quality filmmaking.

In the end, “Underworld: Blood Wars” is a film you guys just really shouldn’t see. Go watch the first movie again, not only is it better, but you’re more likely to get it for a cheaper price! This franchise was dying when I watched the third and fourth installments, and after seeing this fifth installment, its death has now arrived. I’m gonna give “Underworld: Blood Wars” a 2/10. Seriously though, if a sixth “Underworld” movie is being made, my biggest request is that there’s effort put into it. There can still be mindless action, there can still be a dark color palette, just make a good movie, that’s the main thing I’m asking for! Not to mention, this news came in VERY RECENTLY and I almost left this information out, apparently “Underworld” is getting a TV series. If this is true, put effort into that too! Thanks for reading this review. Pretty soon I’ll have my review for “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” and now that I reviewed a number of Tom Cruise films which he made in the past, I want to follow up on that by seeing “American Made” this upcoming weekend. Stay tuned for more reviews, and I’ll ask you all, what is your favorite “Underworld” movie? You can still say it’s this one. You can even bash me and roast me and tell me why I’m wrong, I don’t care! I just want to know your thoughts! Anyway, comment below, and I do read them by the way. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!