Top 10 WORST Movies of 2019

mv5bowqzodhhytitzjq2os00otjhltlhmgutnteyodq2mzjhywizxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyotc5mdi5nje40._v1_sx1777_cr001777740_al_

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! 2019 may be the first year in a while without a new “Sharknado” movie, but I still have ten other stinkers to talk about. That’s right! Now that I have talked about my top 10 favorite movies of 2019, I’m about to dive deep into my top 10 LEAST favorite movies of 2019. Much like in the best list, I do want to state a few rules, because without them, there’d be chaos. First things first, this is a subjective list. What do I mean? Everything you see here is strictly my opinion! I am in no way saying that these are the top 10 objectively horrible movies of the year, they are just the bunch that didn’t work for me compared to all the others. My list may be different than your list, that’s what makes us human. That’s why we have souls. Also, I have not seen every single movie that has come out in 2019. In some cases, I may have been busy, or I just put something far down on my priority list, or there may have been a movie that looked bad enough to the point where I thought, “F*ck it, I’m taking a day off.” There have been several bad movies that have come out this year, but there are some that others considered to be bad that I missed out on. Some include “The Curse of La Llorna,” “Rambo: Last Blood,” “X-Men: Dark Phoenix,” and “47 Meters Down: Uncaged.” Those are the movies I didn’t see! But we’re not here to talk about those, we’re here to talk about those I did see! Before we dive into the main ten, let’s get a few dishonorable mentions out of the way.

Kicking off the dishonorable mentions, we have “Cold Pursuit.” For awhile, I had no idea that this film was actually a remake. Goes to show that remakes don’t always work. I will say, this film had a couple scenes that were worth paying attention to, but it’s not really enough. This film is truthfully forgettable, but it did not bore me or make me blow a gasket as much as some of the other entries on here.

Continuing the dishonorable mentions, let’s talk about “Last Christmas.” This perhaps prompted me to want to start playing Whamageddon, you know that game where you have to blaze through much of December avoiding the song “Last Christmas?” Overall, “Last Christmas” is almost charming, but it has one or two unlikable characters that stand out, and in a time where we have iconic holiday films like “Home Alone,” “A Christmas Story,” “Die Hard” even, I’d rather watch those in December than this trash.

Concluding the dishonorable mention section, let’s dive into “Midsommar.” Out of all the movies that I have to talk about on here, maybe aside from one in the actual top 10, “Midsommar” is maybe the most disappointing one to see on here. For starters, it is directed by Ari Aster, who also directed “Hereditary,” which made my HONORABLE mentions last year. Speaking of which, the direction is visionary, solid, and pristine, but the script is what makes this film fall apart. Overall, “Midsommar” is underwhelming.

Now that we have briefly talked about some crap, let’s continue this post by flushing ourselves down the crapper! These are my top 10 WORST movies of 2019!

#10: Jexi

Starting off this list is “Jexi!” Following in the footsteps of say “The Emoji Movie,” “Jexi” officially continues the trend of bad movies heavily revolving around phones. I will admit, this film was almost charming at times and I could tell that there are maybe one or two moments that can probably get a laugh out of a number of first time viewers in the future, but this film honestly shattered itself to the ground for me. I guess you can make the argument that this is almost a satire, perhaps almost even an allegory, for how technology is practically taking over our lives, not to mention the world. But if that’s the case, this idea has been presented better in other films like “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “The Terminator.” Basically, the film revolves around a basic pasty white dude character played by Adam Devine who often relies on his phone for everything. If this were an adventure film, he’d probably be the least likable hero of all time, because he’d probably Google how to fulfill his quest! Early on, there’s a situation where he ends up getting a new phone. Only thing is that this new phone, or at least the AI inside it, is a psychotic, backstabbing, mind-blowingly corrupt bitch that needs to die. The movie starts out in a less than satisfying manner, kinda gets better as it goes along, and just ends up slitting its own throat by the end of it. Just goes to show, bad endings can ruin good movies. Not that this was anything great, it was itself up to be at least mediocre, but still.

#9: Yesterday

#9 is a movie that I probably want to not watch today, not tomorrow, not ever again! I’m talking about “Yesterday!” This film is directed by Danny Boyle! WHAT HAPPENED?! Seriously! This is the guy who directed “Slumdog Millionaire” for crying out loud! I guess if you really admire the Beatles, maybe you’ll like this film, the same way I can see someone really liking Elton John to find enjoyment in “Rocketman,” but this film just felt stupid. I like the Beatles a lot, but Jack Malik? Eh… Not so much. I get that this film is sort of supposed to present some sort of highly altered reality, but the process of getting there is rather tacky and it caused me to question the art of screenwriting. I cannot even talk about it without cringing! And if you ask me, my personal favorite Beatles song is “Let It Be.” Honestly, this movie sullies that song’s reputation and all it stands for. I get that the scene with “Let It Be” in it is trying to go for comedy, but it just felt RIDICULOUS. And speaking of bad endings, this movie has one as well. No spoilers, but this movie made me not want to live to see tomorrow.

#8: Dora and the Lost City of Gold

Coming in at #8 is “Dora and the Lost City of Gold.” I saw the original trailer for this film and I thought it was one of the most unsatisfying and horrible pieces of media I have witnessed this year. Can’t say the movie is all that much better! I was born in 1999, so as some of you might expect, I grew up with a generation of people who had “Dora the Explorer” pop on their TV screens from time to time. At the time, it was a fairly reasonable time-waster, and I will say that one thing this film gets right is that it seems to pay as much respect to the source material while still somehow managing to be its own thing. But the thing about “Dora the Explorer” is that when I look back on it, I do have memories that I can cherish, but it’s also a cartoon that either does not completely hold up, or feels somewhat cringeworthy. Overall, this film is cliché, boring, and a little bit embarrassing to watch at times. I have never imagined myself in a situation where Dora would be singing a song about turds. Will the kids enjoy the movie if it is in front of them? Maybe. But as for me, I cannot say it was one of my more pleasant experiences this year. Also, I mentioned it in my review, and I’ll mention it again, Swiper was pretty badass. But it’s not enough!

#7: The Fanatic

“Moose didn’t just cross the line. He f*cking nuked it.” That is a line from the epic, bombastic disasterpiece of crap known as “The Fanatic” starring John Travolta. To this day, the only real reason why I watched this film is because of Chris Stuckmann’s Hilariocity video on YouTube. By the way, if you want to watch a video as amazing as that, click the link at the end of the paragraph! John Travolta is one of the most… “interesting” actors working today. Yes, he’s had praise over the years with films like “Grease” and “Pulp Fiction.” But he just did FREAKING “GOTTI” LAST YEAR! I REPEAT, “GOTTI!” That film was s*it! Unlike “The Fanatic,” I failed at getting around to doing a review for “Gotti,” but I did mention it on my 2018 worst movies list. In that countdown I mentioned that film has a sort of so bad it’s good element intact. “The Fanatic” is the same way, perhaps a bit more so. It feels like I’m watching something such as “Samurai Cop” or “The Room.” One of those cult movies that is mainly regarded as watchable because of how perhaps unintentionally funny it happens to be. But to be serious, this film partially fails as a story because I don’t really know who to root for. It’s almost an interesting allegory on the relationship (or perhaps a relationship that should not be formed) between a celebrity and one of their mega fans. However, it’s just not enough to make a good movie.

#6: The Secret Life of Pets 2

I saw “The Secret Life of Pets” when it first came out in theaters. It was… OK. Not great, but OK. But that film made WAAAAAAY more than its budget, so naturally a sequel had to happen. AND IT SUCKS! The secret’s out! “The Secret Life of Pets 2” is utter garbage! This movie had Harrison Ford in it for Pete’s sake! HE COULDN’T EVEN SAVE THIS HOT MESS! Fun fact, if you watch this movie and stay for the credits, you can hear Harrison Ford’s voice at the end of the credits just letting you know that the movie’s over. I know Harrsion Ford is never obnoxious or lively when it comes to how he traditionally expresses himself, but his delivery of that message was a symbol of how I felt while watching this movie. Lifeless and less than satisfied. This is not the worst animated film I have ever seen. It’s not like I just watched “The Emoji Movie” or something, but it’s just plain stupid! The characters are boring and badly written, the ending is so convoluted and insane that I couldn’t even buy it for a second, and there is a scene that I think you can ONLY appreciate if you were on acid. If you have seen the movie, you may know what I’m talking about. Get your grip together Illumination, you just had “The Grinch” last year, which was horrible. And now you have this dogs*it, which is two times worse!

#5: Replicas

In my best list of the year, I suggested that this is the year of Keanu Reeves. Everybody might as well have Keanu fever. After all, he did films like “John Wick 3” and “Toy Story 4,” both of which were met with enormous praise. But I shouldn’t be too sure on such a sentiment. After all, this is the guy who also decided to do “Replicas” of all movies! “Replicas” originally came out in January in my area. I waited until June to see it partially because it was eventually on sale at Best Buy. Turns out when I saw it, it eventually became one of the most forgettable movies I have seen all year. Everything about this movie is just terrible! The chemistry between the characters, the CGI, the writing! My gosh! I’m almost surprised that this movie is not a reason for which I have decided to seek therapy! Then again, writing on a blog is therapeutic enough. So, I think we’re good here. I think the only upside that can come from “Replicas” in any way, shape, or form, is that this movie came out in January, before “John Wick 3,” before “Toy Story 4,” before it was confirmed that Keanu Reeves was going to be in the video game “Cyberpunk 2077,” before it was revealed that he was gonna have a small role in the next “SpongeBob SquarePants” movie. Work first, play later.

#4: Isn’t It Romantic

Here’s a question for you all. “Isn’t It Romantic?” NO, IT’S NOT! And speaking of questions, who is Rebel Wilson’s agent? Because they need to find better opportunities for this woman. Granted, I may have an unpopular opinion in terms of REALLY disliking “Pitch Perfect,” but she always seems to get roles that are forgotten overtime or in movies or programs that just don’t do all that well. I mean… There’s “Jojo Rabbit,” but still! You want to know how bad “Isn’t It Romantic” is? Well guess what? Here in the United States, Argentina, and Canada, it is being released theatrically, but elsewhere, it went straight to Netflix! Based on certain Netflix releases here last year such as “The Cloverfield Paradox,” that’s not always the best sign! One of the worst parts about this movie, and maybe one of the best parts as well depending on how you look at it, is that it is 89 minutes long, just short of an hour and a half. While this movie did not end up feeling like two hours for me, it did end up feeling like an abomination. The dialogue is cringy, the plot, while straightforward, is as bonkers as letting a beer bottle compete on a game of “Wheel of Fortune,” and as a parody, it’s insulting. I may ask for a lot of things during my moviegoing experience, because I am ultimately an entitled f-hole, but don’t make me feel stupid. Romantic comedies are not my thing, so maybe I am not the target audience for this film, but to have a movie make fun of a genre that I tend to think is sort of too sappy for my taste and fail is a bit of a letdown. Overall, this is not romantic, and most importantly, not worth your time!

#3: Cats

I think Peter Travers from Rolling Stone said it best, “Cats” is a “disaster of a movie shouldn’t happen to a dog.” I mean what is this catastrophic hairball?! This is arguably, the worst collectively reviewed movie of the year, definitely one of the worst of the decade. I will say this. I was not alive back in 1977, so I never got to witness one of the first screenings of “Star Wars” including the premiere at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. But I got very lucky, I managed to RSVP for “Cats,” particularly for a screening in Boston on the Tuesday before it came out. I went in the snowy cold, and I can confirm that I am now a part of film history. I was one of the first to witness one of the most poorly received movies ever! This is honestly something that I would put on my resume, especially if I were applying to some outlet that needs a film critic. I’ll just insert “One of the first to sit through ‘Cats’ so nobody else had to.” I’d be their hero. As for the movie itself, I TRIED being generous in my review. I left the movie not liking it, but I thought one song was neat, and some of the visuals worked. But the editing, the casting, the nonsensical storytelling, the rest of the music, the dreadfully abysmal pacing, the cat puns, it’s all a clowder of deplorables! As soon as the Universal logo came up and I began watching this movie, a part of my brain wanted to puke. Then as I sat through this anger-inducer, it became increasingly boring. People laughed in the theater, but I am willing to bet that some of the laughs given were in regard to how truly awful this monstrosity really is. When the end credits hit, people somehow applauded either because it’s classy, maybe they had a good time, maybe a time so bad it’s good, or maybe because the movie was over at last. Speaking of that, I just let out an almighty “THANK GAAAAWWWSH!” because this was simply worse than watching other people watch paint dry. And I originally thought seeing Nick Fury get his eye removed by Goose the Cat to be the worst feline-related thing to happen in a movie this year. Not only does this entire production of utter blasphemy top that, but eradicates it with heat vision. For the record, I have not seen the new adaptation of “The Lion King,” I cannot talk much about that. I think one of my mistakes this year as a critic was being generous to this film, because as much as I think I made a solid review, I think everybody else who saw this movie and hated it, ripped it to shreds whenever the opportunity struck. Before we movie on, here are some AMAZING “Cats” review highlights.

“For the most part, “Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test, a dispatch from some neon-drenched netherworld where the ghastly is inextricable from the tedious.” -Justin Chang (The San Diego Union-Tribune)

“I truly believe our divided nation can be healed and brought together as one by “Cats” — the musical, the movie, the disaster. In other news, my eyes are burning. Oh God, my eyes.” -Ty Burr (The Boston Globe)

“I have been processing this movie for the last 24 hours trying to understand anything as terrifying and visceral a trainwreck as Cats. You have to see Cats.” -Alex Cranz (io9)

“There are a few moments of inadvertent entertainment to be found, but it turns out that in this case, leg warmers have more life than digital fur.” -Katie Walsh (Star Tribune)

First off, full disclosure – I am not a cat person. Second off – after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats, I’m not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either. -Alan Corr (RTE Ireland)

#2: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

There was a point when I saw this movie that I thought it was going to be a lock for my worst movie of the year. Well, guess not! Goes to show how s*itty some of 2019’s movies truly are! I am here to remind you that “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” is not only one of the worst movies of 2019, but one of the most disappointing film experiences I have ever witnessed. That is the thing that probably makes “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” as bottom of the barrel for me as it is, because unlike various other films on the list such as “Replicas,” I had this as one of my most anticipated films of the year. I remembered seeing 2014’s “Godzilla” and thinking it was “fine,” but just like that movie, the trailers were bloody fantastic. Plus, it introduced more monsters like King Ghidorah, Rodan, and Mothra. The film had some potential. But guess what wastes it? The same thing that repeatedly wastes “Transformers” movie after “Transformers” movie: Underdeveloped, unlikable, undeniably forgettable human characters. And if they were played by no-name actors maybe I’d let it slide because they are building their career, so props to them. But they’re not! You have Millie Bobby Brown, okay, she may still be building a career, but she’s still famous. Nevertheless, this movie has Millie Bobby Brown who plays perhaps the most well-known character from “Stranger Things,” Vera Farmiga, who has been nominated for an Oscar, Golden Globe, and a few Primetime Emmys! They got Thomas Middleditch to be in this s*it! To do what? Waste time?! GAH! I said it once, I’ll say it again. Ken Watanabe’s back? Who f*cking cares? I’ll give the movie an ounce of credit because one of the criticisms everybody supposedly had with “Godzilla” 2014 is that there was not enough Godzilla in the movie. This movie seems to expand the creature’s runtime and focus more on monster business. However, if you ask me, as I look back on Godzilla’s presence in the last movie, it felt special when he showed up. There was never really a point where I wanted to roll my eyes when he appeared. Here, I didn’t care about almost anything. I know a lot of people have pointed out, including myself, in their reviews that the script didn’t not allow for a moment for me to care about the human characters. A lot of general moviegoers’ opinions I have come across have gone something along the lines of “It’s monsters fighting, whaddya expect?” First off, bad writing is bad writing. PERIOD. Second, I would love to say I immensely enjoyed all the monster fighting, but I almost don’t even remember any of the monster fighting from this film. In fact, part of that may be due to a supposed migraine I must have received upon leaving the theater. I mean, I remember they fight in various locations around the world, including Boston of all places. I must say, as a Bostonian, this movie is an insult to my intelligence, and just because you have a big fight in my city, it doesn’t make anything better. I’d say the destruction of my city is practically a symbol of how I view this movie. A monstrous mess, nothing more. The only things this movie has going for it are some neat visuals, some cool sounds, and one or two nice shots. Other than that, the writing is all over the place, the casting is embarrassing based on the well-known or high-profile actors who are reduced to speck of dust, and as much as I want to look forward to “Godzilla vs. Kong,” this movie has left an unfortunate hole in my heart that can be difficult to sew back together.

#1: The Haunting of Sharon Tate

Here we are guys! It’s rock bottom! It’s time to talk about #1! In my top 10 best list, one of the entries was Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” which partially featured Sharon Tate. As much as I love that movie, the only standout problem with it involves various scenes with Sharon Tate as it almost seems like she has little to no effect on the final outcome. But this entry to the worst list makes that Sharon Tate look like the second coming of Jesus. Why? Because my #1 worst movie of 2019 is “The Haunting of Sharon Tate!” There is a small part of me that almost refrained from putting this film on the list to begin with as there was not much of a theatrical release. But it did have one overall so I’m counting it, I don’t care! I cannot describe to you the utter misery I felt as I went through several scenes of the movie. The cinematography looked like it lacked proper craftsmanship and skill. The color grading at times looks a tad odd. And don’t even get me started with the screenplay of death! I do not mind rewriting history some of the time. For this movie, they decided to put a supernatural twist on the Tate murders. Honestly, it sucks. It just sucks. It really just feels shameful and full of poor of taste simply to exist. All of it is honestly ridiculous! I will say, Hillary Duff, for the most part was okay as Sharon Tate, but there are times, and this may be due to writing, maybe directing, that she did not come off as an experienced actor. Keep in mind, this a star on “Younger” and “Lizzie Maguire,” she has to have developed some sort acting ability by now! There is one scene that was incredibly disturbing and gory that I almost was able to see what the folks behind this film may have been going for, but it ultimately just turned me off. That’s what this movie is. A turn off! It turned me off as a viewer, and it made me regret not shutting my TV off sooner to save myself from further idiocy! Some of the other movies on this list are competently made. “The Secret Life of Pets 2” has some nice-looking animation. “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” has some cool visual effects! This movie on the other hand is the film equivalent to what it must be like to drink a dog’s urine! It’s both crappy in terms of presentation and substance! The interpretation of Sharon Tate herself almost felt mean-spirited and nonsensical from what I imagine the real Sharon Tate must have been. She was moody in a rather unsettling manner, not to mention often more depressed than Sheldon Cooper whenever someone sits in his spot! And even though Hillary Duff is not the worst actress in the world or anything, this movie probably would have been better if maybe they got somebody else to fill Tate’s shoes. Or, maybe it wouldn’t because everything else in it is just about as lifeless and catastrophic as a brick that fell stories from the sky from a wrecking ball. I am curious to know if there is an afterlife. If there really is an afterlife of some sort, I am also curious to know if Sharon Tate herself is capable of watching this film in some sort of way, perhaps through gazing upon someone else’s screen in real life without being seen. What would she think of it? If I were her, I’d be disappointed. Regardless, this is a film that never should have happened. It’s horribly told, poorly crafted, and feels cringeworthy to the tenth degree! And to know that we are getting a conceptually similar film from the guy who directed and wrote “The Haunting of Sharon Tate,” specifically Daniel Farrands, it’s kind of intimidating. Yeah, coming soon to streaming services and theaters, be on the lookout for “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson!” Or don’t… Save your money. Maybe I’ll watch it out of curiosity, but we’ll see. But speaking of seeing, if you have not watched these films, be sure to avoid seeing my picks for the top 10 worst movies of 2019!

Thanks for reading this countdown! 2019 personally contained a bunch of good movies, some mediocre movies, and as much as it has been a fairly decent year for film, I think the bad movies truly stood out. As usual, I enjoy doing these countdowns whenever I get the opportunity, it’s a solid form of therapy, and it gives me a chance to remind you, the consumer, to maybe save your money every once in awhile. I don’t think every person behind every film is a bad egg. For all I know, all of these films are passion projects, which can make it somewhat challenging to talk about in a format like this. But I still enjoy it, I find this to be some of my finest work, and it allows me to get creative in terms of what I have to say. It’s really fun process overall. If you have not gotten your countdown fix yet, this is your reminder that on January 11th, I will begin revealing my picks for the Top Movies of the 2010s. If you want to get in the mood, I will once again share the trailer I made for it originally presented here around Christmastime. Feel free to sit back, watch the trailer, and enjoy!

*All copyrights belong to their respective owners*

Remember to keep your eyes open for the upcoming countdown series, I am super excited to share it with you all! Ten years will go by starting January 11th! Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! If you want to support me further, if you have an applicable account, give this post a like, maybe leave a comment if you want, and go like my Facebook page! I want to know, what are your picks for the worst movies of 2019? You can state however many bad movies you want, 10, 15, 20, whatever. If you want to go smaller than that, be my guest, it’s up to you! You have the power! Leave your thoughts down below, and welcome to the new decade! Let’s get nuts, everybody! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Advertisement

The Fanatic (2019): Fred Durst Presents: THE ROOM

mv5bnmm4zgm3mgitzjg3my00mdnllwjhmdktzwfhndnkndjjota5xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymzqwmty2nzk40._v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

“The Fanatic” is directed by Fred Durst, who achieved fame overtime from his involvement in the band “Limp Bizkit.” This film stars John Travolta (Pulp Fiction, Battlefield Earth) as the character of Moose. He is an obsessed fan of an actor made up for this movie’s script, Hunter Dunbar. After a failed attempt at getting Dunbar’s autograph at an event, Moose tries to get Dunbar’s attention in whatever way possible, no matter how creepy or invasive these ways may be. He tries to go to his house, follow him around, whatever. Dunbar, who is a busy actor with little time on his hands for fan interactions, wants Moose out of his life due to his stalker tendencies.

I first heard about this film back around the end of July and beginning of August. Believe it or not, John Travolta went to a local convention in my area, specifically Fan Expo Boston. I never went, I never got his autograph or anything, but part of the reason he was there in the first place was because he was on a promotional tour for this movie. I didn’t hear too much about the film until that point, and while I can appreciate the fact that Travolta is showing up to a convention for autograph signings while trying to promote a film involving a similar concept, it didn’t mean I had much faith in this film. I know a lot of people like John Travolta, but over the years, it has been revealed that he’s kind of like Nicolas Cage. He can be great, but he doesn’t always pick the finest roles. He’s been in films like “Battlefield Earth,” one of the biggest fails in the realm of blockbuster science fiction. And most recently he starred in “Gotti,” which did not do too well critically or financially. Although that says something because “The Fanatic” opened to just a little more than $3,000.

Originally, I had no real plans to watch “The Fanatic.” If I were low on options, it would probably be close to a last resort move in my playbook. When I checked once to see where it was playing, it was only at one location with two showtimes. Safe to say, I missed out on the theatrical experience. But no matter how I could get the movie, let’s just say I was gonna grin like an idiot once I can turn it on. Why? Because I have heard nothing but terrible things about it, but that’s why I wanted to watch it. It’s a film that is not exactly Shakespeare, but because it is complete and utter trash, it makes it almost have the feel of a masterpiece. On the surface, Fred Durst’s “The Fanatic” sort of reminds me of Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room.” It’s a film that is totally cringeworthy and disastrous in ways that amount to utter amazement. A number of viewers would seemingly wonder how it actually got made.

Having seen “The Fanatic” recently, I can pretty much confirm what I previously expected. It’s hot garbage. But again, it’s the kind of garbage that you don’t want to take out for certain reasons. There are moments during the movie where I felt a little turned off, but at the same time, those turnoffs are met with a variety of awkwardly funny lines, questionably insane scenes, and admittedly, a surprisingly decent performance (at times) from John Travolta.

When it comes to John Travolta’s character, I found him to be relatable in the worst possible ways. He plays a guy who dresses up as a character on Hollywood Boulevard for a living. He has one friend who we see throughout the movie, they seem to be relatively close, but I never bought their chemistry for a second. Nevertheless, Travolta does not have many friends. This point is also emphasized because he fails to stand up for himself on the job. There is another guy on the street who people tend to flock towards, Travolta interacts with this guy, and it gets to the point where Travolta is getting harassed. To add onto this, Travolta’s character of Moose loves movies, collects tons of memorabilia and other junk, is obsessed with an actor to the point where he’d do anything to get an autograph or a follow from him on social media, and he has autism! Let me just point out, this guy is almost me! I’m obsessed with Curtis Armstrong (Revenge of the Nerds, Supernatural), I have three autographs from him, we follow each other on social media, and while I tend to keep my distance from his personal business, I would not blame him if at one point or another, even right now, he thought that I was a stalker. I love movies, I collect a lot of movie-related items. And I have been diagnosed with high-function autism. Seeing John Travolta as Moose is almost like looking at a mirror image of myself if I spoke at a poor vocabulary level, if I never went to college, and if I had grey hair. So from those points, Travolta doesn’t give an F minus performance. But it’s also hard to say that his performance is also Oscar-worthy. Because just like “The Room,” there are a ton of unintentionally funny moments. There’s a clip of the movie where Moose is in a bar, he’s interacting with an actress. He receives a compliment about his shirt.

His response, while if you watch the movie, makes sense, comes off like it’s the best comedy gag of all time. The response, “It’s the only one in the world.”

Holy s*it, the amount of laughter I let out in that moment was beyond unreal! The scene may try to symbolize how awkward interactions between fans and celebrities can be, which can be interesting. But it’s so goddamn funny that I feel like the film accidentally sent me the wrong message. You want to know how convincing Moose is in this movie? We are introduced to Moose, we see him enter a store where he happens to be a regular customer. One of the first lines in this scene, out of Moose’s mouth is, “I can’t talk too long, I gotta poo.”

I mean, there is so much to talk about in this movie that could be regarded as hilarious without pure intention. It’s ridiculous if you ask me! It’s a masterpiece of crap!

I’m not gonna dive into spoilers, but here are some amazingly hysterical moments from “The Fanatic” that probably should have been serious, but turned out to present itself in a completely different manner.

There is a death scene where someone lies on the ground with blood on their face. John Travolta is looking at this person and thinks that they could still be alive, and just reflects on a time he has a nosebleed, saying things like “it wasn’t fun.”

Remember how John Travolta can’t defend himself? There’s a scene where the opposite occurs and the moment where he begins to go into self-defense mode, he almost becomes a serial killer version of himself. The moment he starts strangling somebody’s neck, and this boom sound effect goes off, I made the Joker’s laughter look tame.

But not all the hilarious gags come from Travolta. One of them comes from the actor who won’t give an autograph to the main character, Hunter Dunbar. As mentioned in the beginning, the movie is directed by Fred Durst, who is a member of Limp Bizkit. There is a scene where Dunbar is driving his kid to school, and he’s playing Limp Bizkit in his car. He’s reminiscing of the good old days where he’d listen to the band’s music. It’s almost like listening to Limp Bizkit is the only way Dunbar can get a hard-on!

Screenshot (31)

This movie also features narration. It’s not from some voice that has no other significance in the movie. It’s also not from Moose, but instead, from his only friend, Leah. She’ll have a line here and there, and there are a couple unintentionally humorous lines out of her when the narration goes down. As for the actual character, I’d say that’s not always the case, at least from my experience. But one thing I will point out is that she may not be in the entire movie, but she plays an important role. She introduces Moose to an app that allows people to look up where celebrities live, and perhaps gaze at their homes. I don’t know how that would be legal, unless certain celebrities either publicly disclose their location or if they hear about this app and give someone permission to put their house on the app. Nevertheless, it’s a thing. It’s like “Solo: A Star Wars Story.” Why does it exist? I have no idea! But some freak wants this idea out there, so here we are!

Speaking of characters, I want to talk about Hunter Dunbar in depth. As mentioned, he’s an actor who is being stalked by Moose. The way this movie plays out, it almost tries to make Moose look like the main antagonist. And believe it or not, there are ways that I can personally relate to Moose. But, we have this actor who is getting followed around. I don’t know who to root for more in this movie. Dunbar, or Moose. For all I know, I shouldn’t be rooting for either of them. Because, speaking of things done perhaps without intention, both characters come off as assholes. Moose is a stalker, but Dunbar occasionally presents himself as a dick. There are times where I can stand by his actions when he acts in this sort of way, but when Moose first meets Dunbar, I can’t say the same thing. Why? Because he doesn’t even take the time to acknowledge the presence of a fan. When Moose presents a jacket Dunbar wore in “Space Vampires” in front of him, his response is “How about I sign your face with my f*cking fist?” Now, we see him having a personal matter being dealt with at this moment, so in a way, I can understand if a celebrity is a little bit angry with what’s happening. Maybe they have some bad vibes going on in their head. But it doesn’t give them the right to say something like that to a fan. Now if Moose originally introduced himself and started to talk s*it about some mistakes Dunbar did during his career, I could stand by his reply. Either that or who knows? Maybe he’ll agree that he took on one or two projects and had regrets about them. Celebrities are human. We all make mistakes. It happens.

But still, my point still stands. Who should I root for? It’s almost like a worse version of “Avengers: Infinity War.” I say that because that movie could arguably be Thanos’ story as he tries to take down all the heroes, because his motivation is clear, and he sees himself as the hero. That is something “Infinity War” handled very well. At the same time, we have all the heroes and their point of view. As an audience member, I am rooting for the heroes at all costs, partially because I have gotten to know them from eighteen other movies that came out before “Infinity War.” This movie almost doesn’t even know who the protagonist is, and who the antagonist is. You could almost flip a coin to decide who is who! I don’t even know who I should be rooting for. Because in terms of being complete assholes, both characters are almost equal in their own little ways. But one is clearly written to be the protagonist and one is clearly written to be the antagonist. As an audience member, I can easily pinpoint who is who, but the script and final product almost make it a guessing game as to who is the hero or the villain.

This movie has increments of good ideas. I won’t go into all of them, but between moments of the performance given by John Travolta, giving Moose autism, and one particular moment that happens at the end of the movie that I won’t spoil, there are things to admire. But this movie overall, fails. If this movie presented itself as a more competent product, then I would probably call it a fine allegory as to why you should never meet your heroes. Maybe they’ll treat you like crap, maybe you’ll get too close to them and invade their much valued privacy, or maybe in relation to one of those two previous ideas, you’ll forget to see the humanity in them. I can imagine that a lot of people view celebrities in the same way certain people will view religious figures. They’re not just folks that certain fans tend to like, but they’re like gods among us. It’s almost as if they were on this Earth for a reason. And that reason may associate with impressing and pleasing their fans. Although in reality, as much as they, hopefully, try to do that, they’re like the rest of us. They value time for themselves and don’t always have time for fans.

Technically speaking, the movie’s not terribly shot. The cinematography isn’t astounding, but it works. The same goes with the lighting. It just works. The real problems with this movie are the characters, some of the acting, occasional narration, plot holes, and an over-abundance of utterly funny moments. I guess the biggest compliment I can give “The Fanatic” is the fact that it’s so bad it’s good. But if you think I like the movie, you need your brain checked.

In the end, I think “The Fanatic” may be one of the interestingly horrible movies I’ve ever seen in my life. Much like “The Room,” there’s a plethora of wholeheartedly questionable scenes that just make me laugh for all the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone involved with this movie eventually wrote a book on their time working on the movie and the process of how it got made. You know, sort of like Greg Sestero did with “The Disaster Artist.” Surprisingly, there’s nothing in this movie that made me truly angry. Maybe it’s because of my expectations going in. Before I saw this movie, I watched Chris Stuckmann’s review of it, which went into a deep dive about a ton of the movie’s highlights. I pretty much got the vibe of the entire of movie from there. There are certainly problems worth pointing out and a ton of “What the hell is going on with the plot,” moments, but to say I felt infuriated about “The Fanatic” is like going into a Microsoft Store trying to buy a MacBook Air. Why would I do that?! Even so, this movie still sucks, lacks sense, and wouldn’t be one I’d be turning on again anytime soon, so I’d say “The Fanatic,” despite my laughs here and there, is still worthy of a 1/10. One of the best things about this movie that I have yet to mention… IT’S BASED ON TRUE EVENTS FRED DURST EXPERIENCED! And to add onto the hilarity, this movie was dedicated to Bill Paxton. This movie does star one of his children, but even so, it’s almost seemingly crazy! This is one of those movies that you honestly have to see to believe. Then again, based on various career choices John Travolta has made, this may not be as shocking as I’d make it out to be. But even with that in mind, this movie is still the definition of “unintentionally hilarious,” and just for that, it could be worth checking out despite my low score. Thanks for reading this review! Unfortuantely, I will not have my review for “Joker” up this weekend. But fear not! Because I’ll have my review up next weekend! I’m going to be seeing “Joker” in 70mm next week, I cannot wait! For all I know it could be a life-changing event, but we’ll have to see. Be sure to follow Scene Before, check out the Facebook page, give this post a like, and share it with your friends! It really helps me out! Stay tuned for more great content! I want to know, did you see “The Fanatic?” What did you think about it? Or, what is the worst John Travolta movie you have ever seen? I’m quite curious about what your comments will be, because I have a feeling there are quite a few contenders. Nevertheless, let me know with a comment and if you want me to sign something for you, I wish I could automatically teleport a Sharpie through my screen. Until then, good luck finding me. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Pulp Fiction (1994): That Is a Tasty Movie

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! In just a matter of weeks, Quentin Tarantino’s ninth film, “Once Upon a Time In Hollywood” is being released in theaters, with select engagements in 35mm. But before that comes out, I wanted to look back at three previous films this cinematic powerhouse has helmed over the years. And to kick this series off, we are going to tackle one of Tarantino’s most popular and highly revered titles, “Pulp Fiction.” This flick first released in the mid 1990s and is one of his earliest attempts at creating a film. Much like his previous efforts such as “My Best Friend’s Birthday” and “Reservoir Dogs,” Tarantino also had personal credits for “Pulp Fiction” as both a writer and an actor. Without further ado, let’s start the–

*GUNSHOT*

*in Samuel L. Jackson’s voice* Motherf*–

mv5bngnhmdizztutntblzi00mtrllwfjm2ityzvimje3yzi5mjljxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynzkwmjq5nzm40._v1_sy1000_cr006861000_al_

“Pulp Fiction” is directed by Quentin Tarantino and stars John Travolta (Grease, Welcome Back, Kotter), Uma Thurman (Batman & Robin, Gattaca), Samuel L. Jackson (Jurassic Park, The Avengers), Harvey Keitel (Taxi Driver, Thelma & Louise), Tim Roth (The Hit, The Cook), Amanda Plummer (The Fisher King, Needful Things), Maria de Medeiros (Midsummer Madness, April Captains), Ving Rhames (Mission: Impossible, Bringing Out the Dead), Eric Stoltz (Mask, St. Elsewhere), Rosanna Arquette (Desperately Seeking Susan, Nowhere To Run), Christopher Walken (A View to a Kill, Batman Returns), and Bruce Willis (Moonlighting, Die Hard). This film is partially inspired by unused scenes from the 1993 flick “True Romance,” also written by Quentin Tarantino. Without going into much detail, because to be completely honest, it’s hard to talk about the plot to a certain extent without spoiling, the film involves a bunch of different people who all have one thing in common: Deadly situations at hand. You have a couple of hitmen played by Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta, there’s a couple who wants to rob a restaurant, etc.

I went into “Pulp Fiction” with extreme expectations. After all, many would call this movie a masterpiece. Plus, prior to seeing the whole film on Blu-ray, my dad showed me clips on YouTube 5 years ago. From what I saw, I was rather impressed. In fact, as of publishing this review, this is the only Tarantino film I have watched from start to finish. I have seen part of one of the “Kill Bill” films when it was on Starz, but that’s not really saying much, isn’t it? I also saw the “Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?” clip from “Reservoir Dogs” five years ago.

And some may even argue that I saw a short film from Quentin Tarantino. I say so because “Family Guy” once did an episode presented in the style of three directors, with the first director being Tarantino. While he was never involved with the episode, the parody is there.

How was the film? Is it the masterpiece that just about every cinephile is making it out to be? Abso-f*ckinglutely. This is screenwriting at its finest! This is set design at its finest! This is actors’ chemistry at its finest!

In fact, I owe a serious apology to what I have said about John Travolta, because I think he has made some unwise choices throughout the century. “Gotti” was his most recent example. And while this was done last century, I now have an increased amount of respect that I can give to him as an actor. Also, Samuel L. Jackson has an incredible resume based on how much work he has been able to get over the years. Out of the millions of projects he has tackled in his career, this might as well be the one with his best performance yet. And part of that has to do with his traditional mannerisms where he yells and swears in a over the top fashion, but also due to what I’ll call “perfect dialogue.”

I cannot cite the screenplay of “Pulp Fiction” from start to finish, although based on how much I enjoyed this film, a mission like that would probably be on my bucket list. There are a lot of moments, either through spoken dialogue or visuals that feel like they would randomly play out in an everyday conversation, or at least I that’s the way I would desire these moments of dialogue to play out. Because there are no points in my life that I would discuss matters involving foot massages with others, but this movie makes me want to go to my local coffee shop or restaurant with someone I know just to talk about the most random topics. It doesn’t have to be foot massages. It could probably be about toenail clippings, maybe which brand of light bulb is the most reliable, which Target store is the best for shopping? There are a ton of moments where the movie is technically sticking to the main story, but it occasionally has diversions when it comes to spoken dialogue. And none of these diversions feel forced because each one is as entertaining as the next. Aside from the foot massage scene, we get a hypnotizing moment where one character wants to order a $5 milkshake, which plays out very well based on the chemistry between the two main characters in the scene, not to mention perhaps the sense of wanting to be a part of this world. Granted, that is a bit of an inaccurate statement, because I don’t want to get shot. I don’t want to get an overdose. I don’t want to be in much danger.

BUT LOOK AT THIS JAW-DROPPING SET!

Seriously, if Tarantino imagined this, he is automatically my favorite filmmaker of all time. This is a classy, American restaurant with a lively interior, but with some unique features, one of my favorites being the car table on the right! At the start of the scene, we see John Travolta and Uma Thurman sitting across from each other chatting and eating, and a part of me just felt immersed into this other-worldly atmosphere. It was almost like watching a “Star Wars” movie if it took place on Earth! It almost reminds me of this movie theater chain that’s primarily known in New Hampshire, I’ve gone several times, but I have not been in years. If you are in northern Massachusetts, or southern New Hampshire, or if you ever heard of Chunky’s, you’d know what I’m talking about. They have this concept that combines a movie theater with a restaurant, where you can sit in car chairs at long tables. I imagine this could exist in other parts of the world, but it is a concept that is close to home for me. They have some traditional American restaurant food like… burgers. OK… this movie made me hungry.

Between this Thurman/Travolta segment and the scene in the apartment from the start of the film, “Pulp Fiction” really makes me want to go out and grab a burger. Coincidentally, I live near Boston, which has a quick bite chain called “Tasty Burger,” whose name was partially inspired by Samuel L. Jackson’s tasting of the Big Kahuna burger from this movie.

“Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger.” -Jules

Another highlight from Thurvolta, as I’ll call them in this review, is something I won’t dive too deep into, but there is a scene where Uma Thurman has an overdose. And let me just say, as those around her are trying to revive her, the execution of this process is nothing short of engaging and kinda brilliant. Again, I didn’t think this was going to happen based on the type of movie this is, I kinda felt like I was there. Luckily, I was not the one with the overdose, but a third party observer.

Last but not least, and WITHOUT SPOILERS of course, because this is one of those films you have to see before you die, let’s talk about the ending. Granted, over my years of experience of going to the cinema and watching films, I saw the direction this film was tending to go towards, but it does not mean that it is not awesome. It’s one of those endings that I feel like I will remember in my last moments. Between the atmosphere, the dialogue, and the mannerisms perhaps provided through Tarantino’s direction, it was like eating an entire birthday cake and realizing you lost a ton of weight the following morning. Again, there is not much I can say about it, because a lot of people who are young will probably read this, maybe they have yet to experience the film for one reason or another. This is a film that you have to watch before you die! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!

In the end, what else can I say about “Pulp Fiction?” It’s creative, hypnotizing, and gritty to the freaking core. I have only seen one Tarantino film from start to finish, so I cannot really call him my favorite director. But depending on how I feel about the next two films I do in this series or “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” I would not be surprised if I ultimately rank the man in my top 5 directors, or screenwriters, of all time. The man isn’t too bad at acting either. I don’t know when I am going to watch “Pulp Fiction” again, but when I do, I am gonna be grinning like an idiot. Why? This thing is freaking phenomenal. Well done to everyone involved (maybe except Harvey Weinstein)! I’m going to give “Pulp Fiction” a 10/10!

Thanks for reading this review! For those who want to know, my next Tarantino review is going to be for the 2012 film “Django Unchained,” I will be posting my thoughts on that next Monday, July 15th, which will eventually be followed by one more Tarantino review on July 22nd, stay tuned for both of those. As for new releases, I am trying to go see “Spider-Man: Far From Home” as soon as possible, maybe I’ll go Tuesday, I dunno. But on Wednesday I will be going to see the movie “Stuber” as part of an advance screening. I was gonna go see this a couple weeks ago for a Regal Crown Club screening, but due to a mish-mash of reasons, I ended up bowing out. I am however going to do my best to make this one, because I am curious to see how this film turns out. Especially when you consider that this is one of the first Fox films released under their new Disney overlords. Be sure to stay tuned for that review, along with more great content! Also, be sure to follow Scene Before through WordPress or an email! Or, if you are on social media, check out my Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “Pulp Fiction?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your personal favorite Samuel L. Jackson performance? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab a burger.