Die Hard

HBO Max: First Thoughts

Posted on by SceneBefore

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Before we begin this post, I just want to remind you all that next month is going to have a movie-based theme. I will not go into it, but for the sake of having content and not having to worry about talking about how crappy the world is, that’s what’s happening. Also, while I do share my thoughts on HBO Max right here, you can also check out my half-hour long video of my first day with the service. If you want to check it out, click down below and if you like the video, feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel, which will have an all-new Blu-ray collection update coming this June!

PLEASE NOTE: If this is buggy, the video is currently being processed for copyright reasons.

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Here’s a post you don’t see often! Me talking about a streaming service! As you know, I have a large physical media collection, one in which I don’t plan on getting rid of ANYTIME soon. But today, we are going to be talking about the new streaming service HBO Max.

HBO Max is marketed as a platform “where HBO meets so much more.” Essentially, if you have HBO Now, it’s basically that, but with more shows and a purple background! Heck, it’s even the same price at $14.99/month! Although I did find a discount that let me get it for $11.99/month, so yay! Discounts! By the way, that discount is no longer available as it is a pre-order offer.

You get all sorts of old and new HBO content including movies and TV series. From everything to the fantastical, dark realms of “Game of Thrones” to a display of our reality within “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.” There are also new original shows on the service as well that you cannot get anywhere else. One of the most notable titles is “Love Life,” starring Anna Kendrick, which dropped three episodes to the service on day one. It still has more episodes remaining, all of which are supposed to drop later on. Also joining the club with “Love Life” is “Craftopia,” a competition where 9 to 15 year old contestants get creative and try to take home the “Craftrophia.” You also have all new “Looney Tunes Cartoons,” a staple of the Warner library for years with brand new episodes. Plus “On the Record,” which centers around Drew Dixon, a former A&R executive. When it comes to originals and exclusives, the lineup does not intrigue me. But there is plenty more coming in the future including “The Flight Attendant” starring Kaley Cuoco, “Raised by Wolves,” exectuive produced by Ridley Scott, and there’s even continuations of past IPs such as an all new season of “Search Party,” which started as a TBS original, but will now be releasing new episodes via HBO Max.

I like the selection of outside content this service is starting out with. It’s got all twelve seasons of “The Big Bang Theory,” four seasons of “Impractical Jokers,” the Without Borders specials of “Conan,” and even though I haven’t sat through a whole episode yet, “Rick and Morty” is also on the service, and I have always been wanting to check that out. Plus, for those of you who smashed your television set once “Friends” was taken off of Netflix, you are in luck as HBO Max now has the entire series on their service. However, if you were going to watch the planned “Friends” reunion special, well that’s impossible at this point as production was halted due to COVID-19.

The service has individual libraries including Crunchyroll, Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Turner Classic Movies, and DC. For those of you who are DC fans, a lot of the big players are there when it comes to movies including “Wonder Woman,” “Aquaman,” “Shazam,” “Supergirl,” “Joker,” and “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.” However, when it comes to missing titles, some big ones are unfortunately not on the service. Including “Man of Steel,” Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy, and “Superman: The Movie.” Keep in mind that other services have these movies including Netflix and the separate DC Universe streaming service. Given how this new HBO Max service has shows including “Doom Patrol” on it, it would not surprise me if DC Universe fizzles out and HBO Max picks up a lot of the load that DC Universe left over. It’ll probably take shows like “Harley Quinn” or “Titans” and maybe implement them in the DC section. Given how HBO Max is trying to be a colossal service full of content, why not have these DC shows, which are likely being presented to a somewhat niche market be given to a wider audience? I would like to watch the new “Harley Quinn” show, but I don’t need another subscription to do it. As for other DC TV shows, HBO Max also has CW’s “Batwoman,” Cartoon Newtork’s “Teen Titans,” and HBO’s own “Watchmen.”

As for movies, HBO originals make a presence, including the recently released “Bad Education” starring Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney. But a lot of the movies present are either from Warnermedia in some capacity including all the “Harry Potter” films, minus the first “Fantastic Beasts” installment, the “Lord of the Rings” franchise, “The LEGO Movie,” “King Kong,” and “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Also included are a bunch of movies that you can find airing on the HBO airwaves regardless of who owns it including “Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw,” “John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum,” “Die Hard,” “Alita: Battle Angel,” “American Pie,” “Madagascar,” and “Stuber.” So while this is basically a Warner Bros. streaming service, it is welcoming other distributors and outlets to join the party, which if you are going to have a variety of content like this, it kind of makes the $14.99/month price worthwhile. Disney+ is $6.99/month, which kind of makes sense as it only seems to be catering to particular demographics. If you are a fan of “Star Wars,” Marvel, Pixar, or if you have a kid, Disney+ is for you. But HBO is more on the side of Netflix where they have content for everybody, including some of the most adult media of all time. But if you want to put on say “Sesame Street” or “Adventure Time” or “Scooby-Doo” or “Happy Feet Two” for the kiddos, it’s good for that too.

Now for a few negatives, I will point out that a variety of platforms will be getting HBO Max including Chromecast, PS4, Xbox One, Apple TV, newer Samsung Smart TVs, as a YouTube TV addon, and so on. But of the range in platforms available for HBO Max viewing, two of them ARE NOT Amazon Fire and Roku. Keep in mind, the other HBO apps, specifically HBO Now and HBO Go are still availabe on these devices but HBO Max is not as there is currently no deal that will allow HBO Max onboard. I would also be willing to bet if there is ever a case where HBO Max does wind up on those platforms that it will go in HBO Now’s place given how the services are basically the same thing but one has more content. Also, I will point out that I get a lot of my media on my Sony Android 4K HDR television, which DOES get HBO Max, thankfully. But one of the things that I noticed that was missing at launch happened to be options for 4K. This sort of surprised me as a lot of the movies already on the service happen to be able on 4K elsewhere, including through physical media. Plus, while HBO does not necessarily have a 4K channel setup through regular television, they do have 4K content. A couple of seasons of “Game of Thrones” are available on 4K Blu-ray, and the same goes for “Westworld.” Going back to Disney+’s $6.99/month asking price, I will also point out that while the library is smaller and catering to a niche demographic, one of the pros of the service is that there’s plenty of 4K content available and there is no extra cost for it unlike services such as Netflix, in which you have to upgrade to their premium package if you have a lower tier. Maybe 4K will be a future implementation, but 4K TVs in general have been getting cheaper year after year so I figured HBO might want to start keeping up with these times a little bit. Again, as much as I think HBO Max will serve me well overtime, I see benefits to my physical media collection which I have spent years building. Yes, I can go watch “Wonder Woman” with the push of a button through HBO Max, but what if I want to watch it on 4K? Boom! I got the disc! That and I don’t need internet for it! Booyah! I will also point out, even though HBO Max has a variety of content that I am willing to watch, there’s a lot that I wish they had. Even though I already own it physically, I noticed that one of the key movies they were going to put on the service were those of the “Matrix” franchise. In fact, if you watch promos for HBO Max, you’d know that “The Matrix” was a core player in those promos. It’s kind of weird how it’s not on the service! The only “Matrix” property on HBO Max as of writing this is “Animatrix,” otherwise known as the one “Matrix” thing nobody talks about. It’s kind of bonkers!

Oh yeah, and I am looking forward to the Snyder Cut. If you asked me, I personally enjoyed the 2017 “Justice League” film more than most people and I will not deny that I had fun with it. But getting an alternate version of the film that may line up more with what the director could have originally put out does excite me. I wish it would also physically come out on Blu-ray and 4K as it would be nice to have on disc, but only time will tell.

I want to know, HBO Max just recently launched, but what are your thoughts on the service? Are you enjoying it so far? What have you watched on it? Why did you get HBO Max? To watch “Game of Thrones” again and be disappointed with the final season once more? To watch “Friends” in a time where you literally cannot hang out with friends? To watch real REAL CINEMA like “Casablanca” or “Citizen Kane?” Where does HBO Max rank for you in a world with seventy thousand streaming options available to buy? Let me know down below! Speaking of things down below, if you want to check out HBO Max for yourself and maybe sign up, go to the link below the paragraph!

HBO Max

Thanks for reading this post! Here’s a weird thing to talk about in a post about a brand new streaming service! Physical media! Coming soon, for my 400th post, I’m going to be providing an all new update on my Blu-ray collection, which will contain new movies, but the same movie reviewing moron talking about them all! I will be doing it in video form on my YouTube channel but I will also be talking about it on here and sharing the video for you all to watch. To check this out along with other great content, be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! Also, maximize your time by liking my Facebook page, otherwise known as that thing you’ll be checking when you’re distracted from whatever you’re watching on HBO Max. Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Skyscraper: Die Hard Without Christmas (2018) *PLUS RANT ON OBNOXIOUS MOVIEGOERS*

Posted on by SceneBefore

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Before we aim high and go into my “Skyscraper” review, let me just say that this film revolves around a family. This family’s relationship seems to play out in a significant amount of runtime for this film. Speaking of family, a new family is bound to form in California. A couple by the name of Paul and Genevieve at one point thought they’d never see the day the dream of starting a family would ever come true. Not because they didn’t try starting a family due to a lack of motivation or something, but because they endlessly tried and had no success. This is all explained… in “What the IVF?!”

“What the IVF” is a YouTube series starring the recently mentioned couple. These two explain their journey to conception. Every Monday, a new story is told, and usually the story that’s told is never one that’s all that happy. When it comes to the story of the couple’s journey to conception, many unfortunate realities occur throughout. Experience the ride alongside Paul and Genevieve as they face the misfortunes of math, exams, anger, sex, crying, pain, needles, and pain from needles! You can find the latest episodes of “WTIVF?” on the show’s personally dedicated YouTube channel, but if you want to watch one right now, check out the latest episode that goes over the past events of the couple’s IVF journey. I’ve watched it, and trust me guys, it’s a good one, check it out. Speaking of checking things out, be sure to take a gander at the “What the IVF?” YouTube channel, subscribe, ring the bell, click whatever button will make Paul and Genevieve happy! Aside from YouTube, you can also find stuff related to the series on other forms of media, be sure to check all of that out and follow those pages. Also don’t forget to check out the website to “WTIVF?” which is included in the links below. And be sure to tell them that Jack Drees sent ya over!

WTIVF? WEBSITE: http://www.whattheivf.com/

WTIVF? YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCILXSidkzWgwrQ5Oa1py78w/featured?disable_polymer=1

WTIVF? TWITTER: https://twitter.com/WTivF

WTIVF? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/wtivf/

WTIVF? FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/What-The-IVF-288868031634125/

“Skyscraper” is directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber (Central Intelligence, Easy A) and stars Dwayne Johnson (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Fast Five), Neve Campbell (House of Cards, Scream), Chin Han (Ghost in the Shell, The Dark Knight), Roland Møller (The Commuter, Atomic Blonde), Noah Taylor (Vanilla Sky, Shine), Byron Han (Altered Carbon, The Big Short), Pablo Schreiber (13 Hours, American Gods), and Hannah Quinlavin (Moon River, The Shanghai Job). This film mostly takes place in or around what this movie’s universe considers the tallest building in the world. Unfortunately, this building eventually gets to a point where it’s on fire, and now it is up to a man by the name of Will Sawyer, a caring father, who also used to be a US military member and FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader, to save his own family, and survive against certain individuals, not to mention, time.

My first exposure to something related to “Skyscraper” came around the time of the Super Bowl. To be more specific, I read a tweet from The Rock calling the film original. Just from that alone, I was intrigued. We’re getting as many sequels, adaptations, and reboots as we are getting news reports of someone we know or happen to like being called out for something terrible. Once I heard about this film’s “originality,” I was intrigued. But then the advertising started, and everybody started comparing it to “Die Hard.”

F*CK.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen “Die Hard” and I enjoyed it. It’s been forever since my experience watching it, but I found pleasure in what was on screen nevertheless.  However, if you’re advertising yourself as an original film, although in this case, an actor from the film is doing the advertising, and a good number of people see this as a “Die Hard” wannabe, that’s not good.

And you know what? One of my biggest problems with the film that doesn’t necessarily have to do with whatever is in the final product is the marketing. Now that people are calling “Skyscraper” 2018’s “Die Hard,” apparently there was a poster inspired by “Die Hard” made for it! Not only that, but there was also a “Towering Inferno” inspired poster. What does this movie want to be? And you know what? This might be an even more important statement: What does The Rock want this movie to be? Months ago, he was saying that this is an original production, and now he’s talking about other films that were basically inspirations for “Skyscraper,” which kind of therefore makes “Skyscraper” feel less original than maybe it once was. I will say though when it comes to tone, as I watched the movie, the tone was rather clear, it was trying to be an edge of your seat popcorn action thriller. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. And in some ways, “Skyscraper” succeeded at doing such a thing, but I wouldn’t say it was enough. Sure, it’s summertime, so big, explosive, expensive movies are to be expected, but overall the story at times is somewhat cliche and the script is predictable. There are some moments I didn’t expect, but if you don’t dive into specific detail, you might as well say the script is predictable.

In fact, some of you might be asking how predictable the script to “Skycraper” actually was. It was SO predictable, that a few audience members had a number of moments where they would say something out loud, and in a split second, that thing would happen. First off, if you’re going to the movies, PLEASE DON’T TALK! IT’S RUDE! I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS! Seriously, these audience members to my left, they just couldn’t stop making noise! Granted, I talk during the movies, but only on occasion, and when I do it, I whisper. These hooligans showed up about thirty to forty minutes after the scheduled showtime, which in terms of seeing the movie, is about fifteen or so minutes through the runtime. I knew something was going to happen when I heard loud laughing from the back of the theater. Then they came into my row, and all of them were sitting to my left. DID “A QUIET PLACE” TEACH ANYTHING TO PEOPLE?! DON’T! TALK! DURING THE MOVIE! Gosh, I hate my life.

In all seriousness, the characters in “Skyscraper” weren’t really all that interesting. Sure, there’s The Rock’s character, but then again, he’s The Rock, everybody likes The Rock. I bought into his relationship with his wife, not to mention his kids. I also bought into him as a guy with a prosthetic leg. Although at the same time, I feel like a lot of people, regardless of whether or not they actually have a prosthetic leg can play this character. Maybe they can’t do it as well as The Rock, but there are times that I can probably imagine another actor in The Rock’s shoes. If you ask me, I still think The Rock is actually a fine choice for this character, but my thought still stands.

I recently mentioned that the script is a bit lackluster for this film, and when it comes to specification on that sort of thing, some of it has to do with poor characterization. If you ask me, I think when it comes to the protagonists, I don’t have too many complaints, especially when you compare that to the antagonistic side. The script spent a lot of time focusing on the main family and treating the tall building as if it was its own character. Seriously! It’s possible that the skyscraper in “Skyscraper” has more character development than the Transformers in the “Transformers” movies! As I watched this film and noticed the antagonistic side of things, I thought I was watching a film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because of how cliche or underwhelming or underdeveloped their villains happen to be. I wouldn’t say I thought the main villain was bad at what he was trying to do, but I just probably won’t remember him.

You know how I mentioned the mixed messages I got from the film’s marketing? This film at times did feel like “Die Hard” to me. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never seen “The Towering Inferno” so I can’t say much about it. But there is another film I saw that I didn’t even realize would click into my mind at a certain point. Specifically, “Enter the Dragon.” If you’ve seen “Enter the Dragon,” chances are you’d know that there’s this climactic fight that takes place in this hall of mirrors. There’s a fight in “Skyscraper” that doesn’t seem to be exactly like that, but it’s very similar to it. Much like “Enter the Dragon,” this scene is competently shot and edited. There’s not a moment where I look in a mirror and notice a camera or a cameraman, then again most of this movie is on a green screen so I doubt they had actual mirrors on set. I’ve seen a number of reviews for this movie, and one comment that stuck out to me is that this movie borrows something particular from a lot of other titles, and usually that other title would do that particular thing better than “Skyscraper.” When it comes to this mirror scene, I can’t agree more. Not only was this sort of thing done better in “Enter the Dragon,” I’d say it was done better in “John Wick: Chapter 2!”

I also feel like a big problem in this movie may be because of the guy helming it. “Skyscraper” is written and directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber, and most of his work is in the comedy genre. Granted, there is comedy in “Skyscraper.” There wasn’t much, and not all of it landed for me, but it was there. This is not his first action film however, it’s not even his first film with The Rock either. One of the better movies I’ve watched during 2016 happened to be “Central Intelligence,” an action-comedy starring Kevin Hart and The Rock. I haven’t watched it since seeing it in the theater, but I had a really fun time with it and I certainly wouldn’t mind watching it again. This movie however, not so much. I wouldn’t say “Skyscraper” needed more comedy, if anything that would have killed the movie unless they were going for an R rating. It just needed a different director and better writing.

Another problem I had with “Skyscraper” is that while it was technically written and directed by the same person without cooperation from others, it almost feels like a film that a bunch of stereotypical cigar-smoking studio executives would come up with. I was exposed to a podcast recently where two guys were talking about this movie, and I actually know of these guys from YouTube too, shoutout to Chris Stuckmann and John Flickinger! They thought of “Skyscraper” as a pitch movie. It’s almost like the pitcher gave a list of movies that this can be compared to, and all of those elements can be easily implemented into the final product. And when some people think of The Rock, the phrase “big money” might possibly pop in their heads. After all, he’s a big name in current Hollywood based on the number of projects he takes on, including “Fast & Furious.” I don’t know, this just feels more like a corporate product than a movie. I saw that coming upon seeing more and more advertising, but I just can’t help but point that sort of thing out.

In the end, I wouldn’t say “Skyscraper” stands tall. Sure, the movie may be doing well overseas, but that doesn’t mean I’m seeing something of quality here. The Rock is very charming, I bought into the chemistry between him and his family members, and I do think the building had an interesting design to it. Although when it comes to overall positivity I can give, there’s very little I can give towards this sometimes badly paced, cliche, and predictable thing that some may call a film. But one thing’s for sure, this is not gonna spark any “Christmas movie or not a Christmas movie” debates. I’m going to give “Skyscraper” a 4/10. Thanks for reading this review! Be sure to stay tuned for upcoming content, including my “Mission: Impossible: Fallout” review, and I do have some other films in mind when it comes to future reviews. These films include “Eighth Grade,” “Sorry to Bother You,” or if I have an excuse to do an older film review series like I did with “Mission: Impossible,” I’ll be sure to get that going sometime as well. Stay tuned for more reviews and other great content! I want to know, did you see “Skyscraper?” What did you think about it? Or, what is your favorite movie starring The Rock? Mine is “Fast Five,” let me know yours down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Disney Buys a Portion of 21st Century Fox For $52.4 Billion: The Foxiest Place On Earth

Posted on by SceneBefore

 

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*TO VIEW MAIN TOPIC OF POST, ADVANCE TO SECOND PARAGRAPH, OTHERWISE ENJOY ME SULKING ABOUT THE DEATH OF NET NEUTRALITY*

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Before we begin discussing the main topic of this post, I want to start off by saying that if you have been following the news lately, you may be aware of the recent verdict made in order to repeal net neutrality in the US. If you ask me, I think it’s despicable, distasteful, vile, greedy, and f*cked up. This chaotic verdict could LITERALLY AFFECT THE INTERNET AS WE KNOW IT. How so? There’s a policy that was in place stating companies can deliver the Internet to you at the same speed regardless of what you do on it. Companies also can’t block, throttle, or make you pay extra tolls depending on the content you watch. Now that we’ve gotten to where we are, companies have the ability to make you pay to use websites you never had to pay to use before! Let me ask you this: Would you pay for YouTube? Would you pay for Twitter? Would you pay for Facebook? Would you pay for MySpace? OK, that’s a stupid question, nobody would use it for free so imagine people paying for it. To those of you reading this, the information I’m giving to you as we speak, based on what I’ve gathered, has the possibility of affecting me. Let’s say someone has Internet from Xfinity and the provider has a vendetta against WordPress, or maybe they don’t like a certain site created using WordPress. Xfinity can throttle the consumer’s speeds, make the consumer pay more just to read other people’s hard work that they MAY OR MAY NOT be getting paid for, or block the Internet consumer from viewing the material. Will my blog certainly be affected? Only time will tell, this was just recently passed on December 14th. Not to mention, based on the overwhelming opposition, I’m wondering if this repeal will even last. I just thought I’d bring this up, as your future of reading this blog could be affected by monstrous f*ckfaces. I MIGHT do a future post on this, but until the time comes, I don’t know what else to say except f*ck the FCC, f*ck Ajit Pai, and may everyone who thought this repeal was a good idea get shoved up Godzilla’s asshole. If you can’t tell by my words, THIS is how serious things could get in the future. We’ll just have to let time pass and let the future write itself.

Moving onto more important matters, we’re going to move onto an event that happened around the same time of the net neutrality repeal. Disney has been known for a lot of things. It made some popular movies, it formed a backbone for many people’s childhoods, and it is often associated with a strange mouse. Disney has been in the news a lot for making many acquisitions over recent years. In 2004, Disney bought The Muppets for $75 million. This does not include Sesame Street or Fraggle Rock. In 2006, Disney acquired Pixar, a company that had associations with Disney prior to the deal going through, but the association is much bigger now. In 2009, Disney gained the rights to Marvel Entertainment, thus allowing them to expand the Marvel Cinematic Universe and create one of the biggest superhero movies ever, “The Avengers.” In 2012, Disney bought Lucasfilm, which includes “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones,” for $4.06 billion. This lead them to creating “A New Hope” special edition umpteen, “The Force Awakens,” a “Star Wars” prequel considered by many to actually be “not crap,” “Rogue One,” and a movie whose marketing comes off as commercial for guinea pigs with giant google eyes (Porgs), “The Last Jedi.” In 2014, Disney acquired Maker Studios for $500 million, which was a multi-channel network founded by multiple people, including some big names on YouTube such as Philip DeFranco, Lisa Donovan, and Kassem G. By the way, that company has now been absorbed into DDN, or the Disney Digital Network. Disney has often been recognized as a mass media empire, owning what many people love which they either had for a long time, or has just received from someone else. Disney is also filthy rich. A month ago, I thought to myself, “What the heck is up with ‘Justice League,'” AKA the new DC movie that just came out. So I did some thinking, and went on to do some research to further realize what the heck is up with “Justice League.” That then lead me to filling a post titled “What the Heck is Up with Justice League?,” where I explain in detail, what the heck is up with “Justice League.” In that post, I brought up Marvel, which lead me to bringing up Disney, which then lead me to saying this concerning Disney itself.

“…you gotta consider, Marvel’s owned by Disney, the creator of Scrooge McDuck, and as of now, a literal Scrooge McDuck.”

Knowing this information, some folks may not be surprised to hear another acquisition was recently made. Believe me when I say this one is enormous. As of December 14, 2017, Disney now owns key assets and businesses from 21st Century Fox after offering $52.4 billion. Just… Holy f*ck! For the record, this doesn’t include ALL of 21st Century Fox, because this deal won’t affect the Fox Broadcasting Company, Fox News, Fox Business Network, national operations of Fox Sports (FS1 and Big Ten for example, but doesn’t include regional sports networks), and the 20th Century Fox lot in Century City. But seriously, HOLY F*CK! Actually, you know what? In respect to Disney’s squeaky clean f*ckery, sorry, I mean mumbo jumbo, I’m gonna go ahead and ignore that and say HOLY F*CKING F*CK!

At this point, it is more obvious now more than ever that Disney might get to a point where it owns life. Not the board game, but it could own that too if it wanted to, but let’s say you wanted to have a baby, in order to actually impregnate someone, you’d have to take money out of your wallet to pay in order to gain permission to engage in an impregnation process. Accidental impregnation however might be excluded to this rule, but given how Disney doesn’t display sexual acts in a good chunk of their content, they probably wouldn’t be fond of your actions.

Disney’s acquisition over 21st Century Fox means a lot for the future of movies and television. This means Disney now owns tons of movies to add to their collection. These include:

  • Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
  • X-Men
  • Fantastic Four
  • Deadpool
  • Kingsman
  • Kick-Ass (Although at this point it’s probably gonna be changed to “Kick-Butt”)
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks
  • Ice Age
  • Cast Away
  • Home Alone
  • Avatar
  • Night at the Museum
  • The Sandlot
  • The Martian
  • Alien
  • Independence Day
  • Predator
  • Rio
  • Edward Scissorhands

And guess what? That’s not even all it has! Disney now owns films that I never even thought of it owning. 21st Century Fox owns 20th Century Fox, which is responsible for distributing every film I’ve mentioned on this list. Heck! 20th Century Fox owns movies that might not even fit with Disney’s name. THE COMPANY OWNS “PORKY’S” FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Oh yeah, and what’s that? You might as well now say “Revenge of the Nerds” is technically a Disney movie! How does that happen?!

Not only did Disney get a ton of movies, but now they have a lot of TV shows on their hands. These include:

  • The Simpsons
  • Family Guy
  • Bob’s Burgers
  • American Dad!
  • Modern Family
  • Family Feud
  • The Orville
  • This Is Us
  • The Last Man on Earth
  • Archer
  • American Horror Story
  • X-Files
  • Empire
  • New Girl
  • Homeland
  • The Mick
  • Ghosted
  • The Americans
  • Atlanta

Sticking with the topic of Fox television, I’ll let you know that “The Simpsons” actually predicted that Disney and Fox would end up making a deal like this. Just watch the episode of “The Simpsons” titled “When You Dish Upon a Star.”

You know powerful nukes are? Let’s say that a nuke launched at a certain point in time, and time is moving really fast. The nuke makes contact with the ground. A giant mushroom cloud forms. Who launched that nuke? Disney did. The nuke is coming at everyone like a giant wave. Whoever or whatever this wave touches, it buys, and owns. The wave has now touched Fox. This moment of contact is significant towards the future of film. Over the years, Disney acquired little things at a time. Marvel’s an exception to the rule, but in comparison to Marvel, this is vastly similar. This is a property that is producing content up the wazoo! At a time, they owned fragments of Marvel! “Fantastic Four,” “X-Men,” “Deadpool!” This… Is… Insane.

I will be a little fair here though, because if you have seen any of the “Fantastic Four” films, you’d probably end disliking at least one of them. Such films include the 1994 version that went straight to home video. The 2005 version that was released theatrically and might make some audiences rather watch the MCU’s “Captain America.” The 2007 version that has Stan Lee playing himself. Seriously, look that up. Or the 2015 version that was so bad that it leaves you to wonder if it would be any better had Stan Lee gotten a cameo.

As far as “X-Men” goes, audiences would usually consider those movies to be pretty good. Granted some installments are better than others. Just look at the difference in quality everyone sees between “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” and “X-Men: Days of Future Past!” There are currently 10 “X-Men” films, including “Deadpool” and the standalone Wolverine installments, and the franchise has more content coming soon. I just wonder in all seriousness, what will happen to the “X-Men” franchise now that Disney has it? Will it get rebooted? Will it get endless sequels? Will the X-Men join the MCU? Those questions however, don’t matter to me as much as the next topic I’m going to bring up. In recent years, mature comic book films have been hitting the big screen. These films have done well in terms of box office return and general reception. Two of the biggest ones we’ve gotten have an association with “X-Men.” In 2016, Fox released “Deadpool,” which became the biggest box office hit for an R rated film just below “Passion of the Christ.” The film was also appreciated for its raunchy, dark tone, shock value, meta humor, and the fact that Ryan Reynolds basically redeemed himself after his first attempt at playing the title character. The next movie I’ll mention is “Logan.” For those of you who haven’t seen “Logan,” I will have you know that I didn’t either, but there are a good number of people who did and consider it to probably be one of the greatest comic book movies EVER. This movie has a spot on the IMDb top 250. Critics and audiences praised it for its grittiness, the different feel this has compared to other comic book films, and the charges of emotion given throughout. I know a teacher in my school and he said he knew someone who considered “Logan” to be “a perfect movie.” This movie is Hugh Jackman’s final performance as the Wolverine, and people f*cking loved it. While we may still be getting “X-Men” movies, there’s a chance that we might not be getting ones like those I just mentioned.

When it comes to Disney films, what do you think of? Well, I think of a lot of things. I think of their classic 2D animations, their newer 3D animations, some movies based on theme park rides, a number of things, really. What I DON’T think of, is anything rated R. Disney seems to always come off as the “family company.” It always tends to be happy, magical, or has something for the kids. Oh yeah, and don’t forget, speaking of kids, IT HAS ALL YOUR KID’S TOYS! It often makes movies that will bring families to the theater. The company doesn’t seem to have a problem with PG-13 movies like those in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise and “John Carter,” but anything above that is a no-no for them. Why is this? Part of me feels that Disney wants to be consistent and maintain this image they’ve built up over the years. There’s also part of me that feels Disney does this because they think this could get them more money. It’s true that the highest grossing film at the box office isn’t rated R. Not one film that’s rated R even made it into the top 10 range for all time worldwide box office records. I’ll just remind you though, when it comes to quality vs. money, it’s best that you choose quality. People go to see quality movies, not movies that you are trying to cash in on. This is why nobody went to see the fifth “Ice Age” movie! Although at the same time nobody saw the new “Blade Runner.” By the way, if you haven’t seen “Blade Runner 2049,” go watch it! It’s amazing! Fox’s new position under Disney can truly affect many films in franchises that were either created in the past and contains films that were rated R such as “Kingsman,” “Alien,” and “Die Hard.” I will say though, the fourth installment in the “Die Hard” franchise, “Live Free or Die Hard,” was PG-13 and got good reviews, but a number of people would probably stick to watching the original “Die Hard,” which was rated R. In fact, you know that joke debate on whether or not “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie? Part of me wonders if Disney will take out all the action and just make a Christmas movie with “Die Hard” characters. It’ll be called “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer and Died Hard.” Maybe it will even be a crossover between the “Die Hard” characters and Tim Allen’s character from “The Santa Clause.” One film series I’m truly worried about however, is “Deadpool.”

If you have ever read the “Deadpool” comics or even been exposed to anything related to “Deadpool,” there’s a good chance you may be aware of how mature it is. Here are some lines from the 2016 movie based on the source material.

EXAMPLE 1

DEADPOOL: Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas.

EXAMPLE 2

DEADPOOL: You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right… I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.

EXAMPLE 3

WADE WILSON: Do you like what you see?

WEASEL: No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.

WADE WILSON: Yeah.

WEASEL: Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence.

WADE WILSON: And the only guy the who fix this fugly mug is the British shitstick who ran the mutant factory. And he’s gone. Poof!

WEASEL: Yeah, well you gotta do something to remedy this because as of now, you only have one course of action.

WADE WILSON: Damn straight. Find Francis.

WEASEL: Star in horror films.

WADE WILSON: What?

WEASEL: Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.

“Deadpool 2” is out this summer, and for what I can tell, that movie won’t have any changes after the Disney acquisition, but as for the series’s future, I’m not sure if it looks too great. No more shock value, no more bloody scenes, no more super funny moments of dialogue. Although on the bright side, Bob Iger might be reading the minds of the people and listening to them as he said “Deadpool” might still remain rated R. Another movie series this could possibly affect is “Kingsman.”

For those of you who don’t know what “Kingsman” is, it started out as a comic book created by Mark Millar, who also created other comic books like “Superior,” “Kick-Ass,” and “Wanted.” It now has a couple of movies which are based on the material, but contains many differences. Both of the movies were directed by Matthew Vaughn, who has actually said he’s considering making a third installment. The previous two “Kingsman” installments were rated R, and if you watch the films, the reasons behind their R ratings are crystal clear. For those of you who haven’t seen the first movie, “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” I’m going to post a YouTube video of the church shootout scene, which I consider to be one of the greatest action scenes in movie history. This is probably something Disney would NEVER do. Feel free to watch the video, let me know what you think, but if Disney were ever to do something like this, I’d probably have more respect for them as a company because for Disney, it would be a risk, but it could ultimately pay off. Also, in case you didn’t know already, this video may be disturbing to some people, so watch at your own risk.

It’s clips like this that made me enjoy “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” It’s an extended shot sequence of Colin Firth defending himself in a church that has gone mad. As if the cinematography and Lynard Skynard’s “Free Bird” weren’t already cool enough in this sequence, the shock value added a lot to it as well! If “Kingsman 3” ends up being PG-13, it doesn’t mean I won’t go see it. Maybe if I was an average person I wouldn’t go see it, but I’m a wannabe critic, so I kind of have to see it, but there’s a good chance I’d have less anticipation for it than I would for an R rated “Kingsman.” Speaking of “Kingsman,” one character from the franchise goes by the name Princess Tilde. So yeah, she’s now a Disney princess. It’s a little strange to consider Leia from “Star Wars” a Disney princess, but in reality, that’s nothing compared to Princess Tilde. Leia was the combination of a damsel in distress and a badass, Tilde is present in multiple scenes throughout both “Kingsman” installments which have currently been released, and in the first movie, this is some of the dialogue given in one of those scenes:

GARY “EGGSY” UNWIN: Sorry, love. Gotta save the world.

PRINCESS TILDE: (IN THICK, SWEDISH ACCENT) If you save the world, we can do it in the… asshole.

GARY “EGGSY” UNWIN: (CALMLY) I will be right back.

On the bright side, Disney’s history during the end of the twentieth century can leave a glimmer of possibility for future R rated material coming out of Fox. For those of you who don’t know about a company called Miramax, allow me to introduce you to them. Miramax was founded in 1979 as an independent company. I’ve been following the news a lot lately, and I haven’t really kept track of how often this company has been mentioned, but if it has been mentioned at least once, I wouldn’t find it surprising, because it’s owned by Bob Weinstein, along with his brother/recently discovered sex pervert, Harvey Weinstein. Regardless of whoever found the company, they went onto create a number of films over the years. On June 30, 1993, Disney bought Miramax for $60 million. Disney was OK with some R rated films being put out by Miramax throughout its time under Disney ownership. These include films like “Pulp Fiction,” “Clerks,” “Good Will Hunting,” “Kill Bill Vol. 1,” “Kill Bill Vol. 2,” and “Trainspotting.” These films are all considered great by a large number of people, and if Disney didn’t let Miramax do its thing, they probably wouldn’t even be here today. By the way, Disney doesn’t own Miramax anymore. As of 2010, Miramax is owned by Filmyard Holdings.

Back in the day, Mickey Mouse was a lovable cartoon character who became a recognizable mascot for the Disney name. Now, he’s probably got a grimace on his face. Disney keeps making money and it never stops. This then allows them to spend it, and possibly make a crapton more money! They’ll get to a point where they dominate the world, and who knows? Maybe they’ll pay a price for Mars before humans start traveling there. Am I acting like a spoiled brat? Not really, I’ll let you judge for yourself. I’m just asking for Disney to let Fox do its own thing and make sure you don’t really take much control over the brand. You may have noticed I haven’t talked a lot about Fox TV shows, but that’s because I don’t have too much to say about them. Although I will say, it does feel weird that Disney technically now owns TV shows from Seth MacFarlane (“Family Guy,” “American Dad!,” “The Cleveland Show,” “The Orville”). I just hope that not much changes at this point in terms of content. What happens now? I don’t know. Anything can happen at this point. Disney is a money machine. Disney could buy Time Warner in the future. This is such a strange time we’re living in. Thanks for reading this post, and despite how I’m giving some flack towards Disney here, I will say that interestingly, I’m going to promote my review for a recent Disney film. Weird, huh? This film I’m promoting is a movie that had its opening night on December 14th, which was the night I went to see it. Interestingly, the net neutrality talk I gave at the beginning involved an event which occurred on December 14th. Also, the main part of this post involves a deal which officially went through on December 14th! Anyway, I just did my review for “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” which by the way, has no spoilers. If you want to check that out, there’s a box below stating the title of the post, you can read it right from there. I will say though, my thoughts on the movie have changed a bit since I’ve written that review. By that I mean, the more I think about the movie, the worse it gets. It wasn’t already perfect when I saw it, but it’s steadily declining in terms of my verdict. Stay tuned for more great content! Also, what do you think of this Disney and Fox deal? Do you think any movies or TV shows will be affected by this (positively or negatively) in the future? What do you think Disney will acquire next? Leave a comment below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!