If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025): Rose Byrne Expertly Conveys the Chaos of Motherhood in This Anxiety Trip of a Film

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is directed by Mary Bronstein (Round Town Girls, Yeast) and stars Rose Byrne (Neighbors, Bridesmaids), Conan O’Brien (Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Conan), Danielle Macdonald (Unbelievable, The Tourist), Christian Slater (Mr. Robot, The Wife), and A$AP Rocky (Zoolander 2, Monster). This film is about a woman named Linda whose life and sanity hangs on by a thread as she has to deal with her child’s illness, her job, her husband, and a missing person.

I saw the trailer for “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” during my screening for “Eleanor the Great,” and I was quite impressed with how much drama and stakes that piece of marketing was able to show off in just a couple of minutes. It gave a good tease to the movie’s tone, particularly endless anxiety. That may sound a little overdramatic. The world is not ending in this film. No evil force is trying to take over the universe. But that does not mean the film is incapable of showcasing the constant struggle that stands in the protagonist’s path.
I also noticed in the trailer, not to mention the poster, that this movie stars Conan O’Brien. Odd choice for a dramatic role, but it is cool to see him getting work. We’ll get back to him later.
As for the movie itself, this is one of the best of the year. “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is basically 2025’s “Uncut Gems.” The story is not exactly the same, but a lot of the visuals, shots, and edits feel like they come out of that 2019 thriller. It should not be a surprise, considering this film is also being distributed by A24, and Josh Safdie just so happens to be a producer. The two movies feel like they have similar DNA. There was one visually trippy sequence about 5 to 10 minutes in containing voiceovers that kind of reminded me of the scene from the beginning of “Uncut Gems” where we are flying through the gem. Even in scenes where the dialogue is a bit slowed down, there is often a breakneck pace. Part of this is because of everything Rose Byrne’s character, Linda, has to deal with.

I am not a parent. I do not know if I will ever be a parent. We shall see. But this film does a great job showcasing the constant stress of being a parent. Granted, Linda’s situation is a bit more extreme considering her child is ill. At the same time, her husband’s basically out of the picture, and her home is falling apart. As a result of the latter, she has to find a place to stay until things get better. Even as someone who does not have kids, I have massive respect for parents and everything they do for their children. This film in particular reinforces my appreciation for them, especially moms. Every mom’s journey is different, but for Linda, several curveballs are being thrown into her path at once. It is almost impossible for her to catch them all.
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” may star Rose Byrne, but she is not the one who sold me on this movie. That would be Conan O’Brien.
Yes, that one. Which one would I be referring to? How many Conans do you know personally?

I may be letting some personal fanaticism get in the way, but if I see Conan O’Brien’s name on something, I instantly become more curious about it. Even for a project like this, which was probably one of the last things I would expect him to take on. O’Brien is naturally funny and kinetic. But in the case of “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” the late night host-turned podcaster seems to be taking a page from say Jordan Peele, who went on to make horror movies like “Get Out.” After all, both are known for their comedic talents, and if there is one thing many comedians know about, it’s timing. I laugh super hard at Conan O’Brien’s work not only because of the things he does, but when he does those things. This is also true for his role in this film. Despite the story being serious, the movie managed to get laughs out of me. One big laugh was courtesy of O’Brien himself. There is a scene where his and Byrne’s characters are sitting in a room together at a therapy office. Byrne’s getting something off her chest and O’Brien slowly takes in Byrne’s rant, then says… “Okay…” There are very few instances where the use of the word “okay” as a full statement has ever been funnier. The film definitely feels more dramatic than comedic, but Conan O’Brien’s character, much like his real life persona, is naturally hilarious through his presence and choice of words.
Heck, this film also has A$AP Rocky in it, whose acting experience appears to be rather limited. I still need time to think about what my favorite cast in a 2025 film happens to be. But I will verify that “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is certainly one of the most unique casts I’ve come across in a film released this year. Despite some unexpected names on the lineup, there is not a single bad performance in this film.

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is a couple hours of complete and total chaos. It only offers a few moments to breathe, and if it were not for its talented cast led by Rose Byrne, it probably would not work as well as it did. Major credit also has to go to the work done behind the scenes. Lucian Johnston’s edits are as smooth as butter, despite them belonging in a film as dramatic as this. The shots brought to life by cinematographer Christopher Messina are meticulously framed. I also have to give kudos to Mary Bronstein, who not only wrote the film, but also directed it.
This feels like a singular vision. I could have never come up with a movie like this myself. And the movie is all the better because someone like me was not in charge of it. If this movie were written or directed by a man, I can guarantee it probably would not be as good as it is. This movie comes off as if it was written by a mother, most likely for mothers. I am not saying this movie is exclusively to be enjoyed by mothers. But I think a lot of mothers will appreciate this film in one way or another. That said, Bronstein is a mother herself. To top things off, while not entirely based on true events, the film is in fact inspired by Bronstein’s time caring for a sick child. This film is written from the heart and just so happens to be powerful enough to send chills down my spine. I have no idea how much money this film is going to make, but I highly encourage anyone reading this to give this movie a chance. It is a raw, thrilling story that may not be every mother’s personal experience, but is likely something close to every mother’s worst nightmare.

In the end, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is more than just one of the best movie titles of 2025. It just so happens to be one of the best movies of 2025. As an experience, this film is incredible. Despite its unique cast, it offers some of the year’s best performances. Mary Bronstein offers a vision that only a mother like her could give. And the movie maintains a neverending level of anxiety liken unto “Uncut Gems.” I am going to give “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” a 9/10.
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is now playing in theaters everywhere. Tickets are available now.

Thanks for reading this review! My next review is going to be for “Tron: Ares.” Stay tuned! Also coming soon, I will be sharing my thoughts on “Bone Lake,” “A House of Dynamite,” “The Smashing Machine,” “Shelby Oaks,” and Guillermo del Toro’s “Frankenstein.” If you want to see these reviews and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You?” What did you think about it? Or, what is a movie you really enjoyed about parenting? On that note, if you guys have not seen last year’s brilliant animated film “The Wild Robot,” please give it a chance whenever you can. Although some of you reading this probably have seen it because it did win Best Picture at the 7th Jack Awards. If you have not seen it, listen to those people who voted and give the movie a shot! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!




























































