Jurassic World: Dominion

Top 10 WORST Movies of 2022

Posted on by Jack Drees

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Sometimes I am here to tell you which movies you should watch, but today I am here to tell you which movies you should avoid. It is time to tackle my top 10 WORST movies of 2022! For those of you who followed me for a long time, you may remember like some people, I have previously done my top 10 BEST list before my top 10 WORST list. This year we are doing the opposite, we are ripping the bad stuff off like a Band Aid. That said, I would say it is my duty to talk about these movies, because I cannot be all rainbows and unicorns all the time. Before we begin, here are some rules. First, I have not seen every movie that has come out this year. There are certain movies that I either did not have time to watch, they were not playing at a theater near me, or they just did not look like my cup of tea. I cannot get around to everything. Second, this list is based on my personal opinions of these movies. I am not saying you have to dislike these movies, I am only giving my perspective based on what happened when watching said movies. Also, these movies must have had a theatrical release of some kind, even if it is only playing in Los Angeles, New York, or MiddleofNowheresville, Connecticut. So, if you are expecting to see the Disney+ exclusive “Pinocchio” on this list, look elsewhere. It only released on streaming, and I have not watched it. Although speaking of which, I will also have a note as to where you could possibly find these movies, either at home or in theaters, at the time of writing this post, if you somehow think watching them is a good use of your time. Also, be sure to click the links next to those watching options to read my reviews for these films. That is if I reviewed them, there are a couple on the list I did not get to talk about earlier in the year. With all these rules out of the way, we shall start the countdown by listing a few dishonorable mentions.

Dishonorable mention: Amsterdam (available on HBO Max)

Starting off the dishonorable mentions is “Amsterdam.” There are a couple good moments in “Amsterdam.” But it does not change the fact that the script is messy, all over the place, and continues going in a downward spiral after the first ten minutes. The stacked cast may have been enough to get me in the door, but I felt like I was locked behind said door for a couple hours, just hoping for whatever was happening to end.

Dishonorable mention: Halloween Ends (available on Peacock)

Up next for the dishonorable mentions is “Halloween Ends.” While there is some entertainment value to be found in “Halloween Ends,” this is a movie that fails to understand why “Halloween” has such a following amongst horror fans. Michael Myers is barely in this movie, which is kind of a reverse of “Halloween Kills” where he takes up a good amount of screentime and Jamie Lee Curtis barely has anything to do. The trailer seems to promise one thing and barely delivers on it whatsoever. In a year of great horror titles like “Smile,” “Barbarian,” and “The Black Phone,” this one did not join those ranks.

Dishonorable mention: Don’t Worry Darling (available on HBO Max)

And closing off the dishonorable mentions we have “Don’t Worry Darling.” Not only was this movie a gigantic disappointment, especially considering how Olivia Wilde directed a decent comedy a few years ago, specifically “Booksmart.” But it also has arguably the most infuriatingly unsatisfying third act I have seen in this entire decade of cinema. When the juicy press tour and behind the scenes shenanigans happen to be more entertaining than your movie, that is a problem.

With those out of the way, it is time to count down my top 10 WORST movies of 2022!

#10. Easter Sunday (available on VOD)

Starting off this list is a pretty disposable, forgettable comedy. That my friends, is “Easter Sunday.” If I had to guess how much faith Universal had in this movie, it would probably be very little. Want a hint? This movie came out on August 5th. Last time I checked, Easter is usually in March or April. It is almost as if someone at Universal saw this movie and thought they should hide it as soon as possible. I have heard Jo Koy is a funny comedian, and there are humorous moments in “Easter Sunday,” but I found it hard to like the character he plays. There is also a particular line in this movie that I imagine the writers must have thought the audience would quote by the end because of how many times they inserted it. If I were in the room with them, I would tell them to tone it down because by the fourth time it is said, I nearly had a headache. Speaking of the script, some moments were predictable and if they were not that, they might have been too over the top. This film is lower on the list is because while it is not as funny as I would have hoped it to be, it is not as anger-inducing as some of the other movies on here. That said, this film is probably not even good enough to qualify as background noise on basic cable.

#9. Strange World (in theaters, available on Disney+)

There is something strange in the neighborhood, and I am not calling the Ghostbusters. I am calling the movie theater to ask for my money back that I gave for seeing “Strange World.” I really wanted to like “Strange World” because first off, I am a fan of science fiction, which this film is to a certain degree. But also, the film looked really pretty, I was just hoping that there could be an entertaining story to back it up. Although I have the same complaints with “Strange World” that I did with “Avatar: The Way of Water.” It is pretty to glance upon, but there is very little substance. There were times where I should have stared with awe and wonder where I simply had my arms crossed. I like the lesson the film tries to convey to its audience, but it is surrounded by an utter bore of a waltz through this unfamiliar territory that I wanted to soon forget. People often claim that Marvel movies are theme park rides and not cinema. I not only disagree, but I also would say if you want a theme park ride, you should look no further than “Strange World,” and I do not mean that as a positive. I nearly tuned out at a particular point. Speaking of which, this film is distributed by Disney, and if you ask me, this could have worked as a theme park ride, but I think given how poorly this film did upon launch, there is zero chance of that happening. I liked the opening song, but like the dishonorable mention “Amsterdam,” this film had a great start followed by a lackluster progression.

#8. Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (available on Paramount+)

Speaking of absolute bores of animation, here is a shoutout to “Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank!” People often say that “Blazing Saddles” is a movie that would not be made today because of its politically incorrect nature. Guess what? Somebody did remake it on a technicality, but it is an animated film aimed at families. “Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank” is the result. Boy it is a legend alright. A legend of complete and utter cringe. My friend and I went to see another movie earlier this year and saw the trailer, he thought this was a “Kung Fu Panda” wannabe. While there are elements of “Kung Fu Panda” in here, such as the classic hero’s journey where a young individual is taken under the wing of a more experienced, perhaps reclusive mentor, one thing this movie did not have, was joy. I did not leave the theater feeling satisfied. Very few jokes landed, and those that did land, were not all that memorable. I like a ton of the people behind the voices like Michael Cera, Samuel L. Jackson, and Ricky Gervais, I just wish they had better writing provided for them. There is a line in this movie that dives into meta humor, where the characters are kind of at a low point, and they’re trying to solve a problem. At said point, Hank is trying to keep everyone’s attention and digressively says, “And the movie is only 85 minutes long!” Short term, yes, it could get some laughs. But the more I think about that line, it feels like wasted time in a somewhat rushed story. Is it a good lesson for children? Perhaps. But just because the lesson is effective does not mean the same can be said for the movie.

#7. Elvis (available on HBO Max)

I often think about my favorite directors in the industry. Some include Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino, and Damien Chazelle. I often think about the ones I like, but if I were ever forced to name a director on the opposite side of the spectrum, one of the first that comes to mind is Baz Luhrmann. Case and point, “Elvis.” I was looking forward to “Elvis,” partially because I forgot who was directing it. While the movie has a glitzy and glossy style that feels somewhat synonymous with Elvis Presley and his brand at times, the style is definitely more evident than the substance. This movie is too much at too quick of a pace. It is the most headache-inducing movie I have seen in years. The worst part of this movie is the fact that it at times doesn’t even feel like it is about Elvis. The spotlight is often stolen by Elvis’s manager, Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks. Austin Butler is great in the movie, but unfortunately, he is surrounded by a buttload of inexcusable garbage. If you polish a piece of crap, then guess what? It is still a piece of crap, but just shinier! It still looks and smells atrocious! I cannot personally recommend “Elvis,” but I think if you are a fan of Baz Luhrmann’s style, you might feel different about this film than me.

#6. The Mean One (released in theaters, home viewing options unknown)

While “Elvis” was a well-stylized movie that was not for me, “The Mean One” on the other hand is an eye-burning picture that like “Elvis,” was definitely not my cup of tea. There are certain films that I liked this year that I would call “cinematic achievements” because of how excellently they executed a certain aspect of their project. These may include aspects such as storytelling, animation style, or sound. Similarly, I would call “The Mean One” a cinematic achievement in somehow making a worse “Grinch” movie than Illumination did four years ago. Yes, I know, technically speaking, the Grinch is not in this movie. It is an expression. One of the reasons why this film is not on one of the worse spots on the list is because this film did not have a humungous release. It hit some theaters, and I unfortunately drove out of state to attend one of those theaters, but still. The film looks like it could receive a fair grade as a high school film project, but it is not, so I am not treating it like one. The color grading is the worst I have seen all year. The special effects are obscene. The writing, whether the movie is trying be horrific or comedic, fails on both levels. David Howard Thornton gives it his all as the Mean One, but that has to be the one silver lining in this dumpster fire of a film that will definitely not go on my Christmas movie watchlist next year.

#5. Ambulance (available on Prime Video)

The plot may be simple, but the headache I had while watching this movie is as complex as the space time continuum. Coming in at #5 is Michael Bay’s latest film, “Ambulance.” Interesting enough, an ambulance just so happens to be a vehicle I could have probably used after finishing this travesty. This movie had an okay concept, despite not having many layers to it. Essentially, “Ambulance” follows bank robbers who carry a ton of money in an ambulance. This had the potential to be a really epic heist and chase flick. It did not even come close to being epic! A more entertaining chase than what this movie contains would probably be the chase for my refund from Best Buy for the absolute ripoff that this movie happened to be. Yes, I bought the film on disc. Physical media forever! The shots are repetitive and made my head spin. The drone shots made me want to rip my eyes out of my sockets. The editing is the worst I have seen this year. The editing is so bad, I would contend it is one of the most bottom of the barrel examples of an edit I have witnessed in the action genre. There is a point where this movie looked so technically off the rails in such a piss poor way that I stopped caring about what was going on. I cannot see myself watching this movie ever again unless I lost a dare. Michael Bay movies may be known for their explosions, but the thing that exploded the most when I watched “Ambulance” was my IQ. I feel ten times dumber for having watched whatever on earth this happens to be.

#4. Jurassic World: Dominion (available on Prime Video)

To paraphrase the original “Jurassic Park,” Universal became so preoccupied on whether or not they could make a ton of “Jurassic” sequels that they didn’t stop to think if they should. And that is arguably why we have the absolutely abysmal “Jurassic World: Dominion.” I knew a couple people who were looking forward to this film. But when I saw that first trailer, I was not exactly sold. It looked like an inferior “Fast & Furious” installment with dinosaurs. As for the movie itself, it flat out falsely advertises the plot to its audience. Remember all that dinosaur action in the drive-in? That was not in the theatrical cut! All of that was cut out! Apparently, this movie needed more time to establish the real villain of the story. Not dinosaurs, not dino-abusing humans, but locusts. Kids love locusts. Right? Last year, Sony and Marvel Studios gave the moviegoing public “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” which successfully celebrated three different generations of Spider-Man. It was glorious to say the least. “Jurassic World: Dominion” attempts to celebrate the two “Jurassic” generations, but falls flat on its face in the process. The directing is stale, the dialogue is cheap, and the connections between the characters feel forced! The “Jurassic Park” franchise has had misfires before like “Jurassic Park III,” but “Dominion” honestly makes “Jurassic Park III” look like “The Shawshank Redemption!” What other movie in history made dinosaurs BORING?! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Steven Spielberg struck magic back in the 1990s only to have this money-making machine release increasingly disposable content like “Jurassic World: Dominion.”

#3. Medieval (available on VOD)

To this day, I can thankfully say that I have never fallen asleep to a movie in the theater. I find that incredibly hard to do. Although after seeing the absolute travesty that is “Medieval,” I certainly came close. How bad does your movie have to be for Michael Caine to come off as the human equivalent of melatonin? Some of the performances in “Medieval” barely have any life to them, especially when compared to another depressing epic from the year prior, “The Last Duel.” Except that movie was brutal and satisfying at the same time! The action sequences are barely enough to keep me awake. It is like if the director of “Taken 3” were given the tools to helm a period piece like this. Aside from one or two neat locations and one or two attention-grabbing deaths, this movie had nothing going for it. No presentable characterization. No reason to care for anybody. No emotion. The costumes and setting look okay. This movie barely has enough appeal in its looks, but it is only slightly better than what the story can provide. And that is if the story can provide anything. I was bored from scene one to scene done. Thanks a lot, “Medieval.”

#2. Moonfall (available on HBO Max)

Roland Emmerich is often seen as the master of fun disaster films with iconic titles like “Independence Day.” Speaking of disasters, let’s talk about “Moonfall,” one of most mind-numbingly painful movies I have watched in the past couple years. Am I surprised that “Moonfall” is as bad as it is? Yes and no. For one thing, I figured that this movie could at least be stupid fun with cheesy dialogue. We definitely got the latter, but without the inclusion of the former. Well, other than the stupidity, so that’s halfway there. Many of the characters are forgettable despite being played by some decent actors like Halle Berry and Michael Pena. In addition, some of the characters themselves feel like stereotypes. Any and all semblance of scientific accuracy that could have been in this movie is thrown out the window. As if things could not be more terrible, “Moonfall” has one of the worst third acts I have seen in all of science fiction. I should have known what was coming from a movie where the moon suddenly goes out of orbit and crashes into the earth for some reason. But what can I say? I am an optimist. I thought this could have been fun. The worst thing about “Moonfall” is that it somehow managed to make its competitor, “Jackass Forever,” which came out the same weekend, look smart. That is an accomplishment. The movie where Johnny Knoxville and his buddies destroy their bodies not only feels less painful for the brain, but it is comparatively more entertaining. This is a reality I did not think we would experience.

#1. Morbius (available on Netflix)

To call this next entry to the list a “movie” would be an absolute injustice. Up next is arguably the worst comic book movie in the history of mankind. My #1 worst movie of 2022 is “Morbius.” There is often a debate as to whether comic book movies are “cinema,” but if cinema happened to be equal to cliché dialogue, forgettable scenes, and flat-out boring, lifeless, uninteresting, stale characters, then this movie is a cinematic masterpiece! I feel terrible for Jared Leto, because he is a good actor. But now, he not only has suffered by playing an inferior Joker character in DC, it just so happens that Marvel is tarnishing his reputation too. When I did my top 10 worst movies of 2018, I put “Venom” on the list, yet another Sony “Spider-Man” villain-based comic book film. After watching “Morbius,” I can confirm that “Morbius” makes “Venom” look fun. Because at least “Venom” kind of had some cheesy dialogue and one or two funny moments. It was not what I wanted, I did not particularly enjoy what I saw, but there may as well have been slight hints of entertainment value from start to finish. Just to think, this movie was supposed to come out in July 2020. They had all this time to make this movie better until its eventual release in March/April 2022. And they did absolutely nothing.

To make matters worse, this movie contains the worst… No MCU movie can claim this, I swear on my life, the single worst credits scene in film history. It makes no sense whatsoever. There is a scene that shows what is wrong with Sony, what is wrong with some people’s thinking about comic book movies, what is wrong with the modern moviegoing market. I get that superheroes are hot right now. I get that people want to see certain things out of the market. But Sony’s thinking provides for a rushed motive that may as well fall flat on its face. If this movie did not come out after the MCU’s “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” there is a slight chance we may not be in this situation. Remember how I said “Halloween Ends” and “Jurassic World: Dominon” failed to deliver on what they advertised? Well, “Morbius” is not only terrible as a movie, but like those examples, it uses particular scenes in its marketing campaign to arguably dupe its own audience. “Spider-Man: No Way Home” had misleading trailers, but those misdirects were done to the movie’s, and therefore the audience’s, benefit. This time around, the only people it may benefit are Sony executives who are snatching people’s wallets and slapping them across their faces.

The only positive outcome that “Morbius” may have brought to mankind are some of the memes. In fact, Sony must have seen these memes, because after they started clogging up my feed, they did a rerelease for the film, and it was a total flop! Newsflash, I am not interested in watching “Morbius” a second time because of the memes! The reason why I was at least somewhat curious about the memes is because of how bad this movie was from my first, and hopefully last, viewing. Yeah, I could also suggest that I might want to watch “The Room” because of the memes, but the difference is that those memes, intentional or not, literally define the movie. The memes for “Morbius” make it look more entertaining than it actually is. From experience, I have seen better characters, I have seen better origin stories, and most importantly, I have seen better movies. The ending of this movie is also so abrupt it is not even funny. It is as if the writers just gave up or something. Let me remind you that this movie has a smart scientist, Martine to be specific, who apparently does not know how to properly pronounce the “Nobel” in Nobel Prize. Inconceivable. How did this get made?! Better, how did this get released? The fact that it had been marketed since the beginning of the COVID-19 era only makes the result more infuriating. “Morbius” takes the cake as not just one of the worst comic book movies ever made, but also one of the worst movies period. It is by a long shot, my worst movie of 2022.

Thanks for reading this countdown! I hope everyone enjoyed finding out about my worst movies of 2022. Believe it or not, there actually have been a number of good movies to come out this year, but every once in the while there was a notable dud. I guess you cannot win them all. In the meantime, if you would like to observe another countdown I did recently, be sure to check out my picks for my top 10 MOST ANTICIPATED movies of 2023! Also, this week, it is time to turn this frown upside down, because I will be talking about my top 10 BEST movies of 2022! I am excited to share my picks with everyone, I always have fun doing these lists! If you want to see this and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, what are your least favorite movies of 2022? Do you have a top 10? 5? 15? List your picks down below! I would be happy to hear them! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022): What in the Jurassic World Did I Just Watch?

Posted on by Jack Drees

“Jurassic World: Dominion” is directed by Colin Trevorrow, who also directed the 2015 “Jurassic World” film, which I thought was slightly flawed despite its neat visuals, booming score, and somewhat clever concept. This film stars Chris Pratt (The LEGO Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy), Bryce Dallas Howard (Spider-Man 3, The Help), Laura Dern (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Marriage Story), Jeff Goldblum (Thor: Ragnarok, The World According to Jeff Goldblum), Sam Neill (Peaky Blinders, Crusoe), DeWanda Wise (She’s Gotta Have It, Fatherhood), Mamoudou Athie (The Circle, The Front Runner), BD Wong (Kingdom Hearts II, Mr. Robot), Omar Sy (Transformers: The Last Knight, The Intouchables), and Campbell Scott (The Amazing Spider-Man, House of Cards). This film is set in a time where dinosaurs are roaming the earth, they’re unleashed, there is no stopping them.

Actually, no… That was the promise that was given in that one short film that was shown in IMAX and eventually put online… But no! We have to settle for a comparatively boring story where the same dull human characters we have seen waltz through two movies, fight against a genetics research giant whose main goal is to conduct research on dinosaurs.

You hear that? That stomping on the ground? That is not a dinosaur. That is me, walking out of the theater in ire.

If you want a hint on what I thought of “Jurassic World: Dominion,” here it goes… “Jurassic World: Dominion” can be summed up in one word. And if I were writing this review for an outlet like The New York Times or The Boston Globe, I would probably be fired. Want another hint? It is literally a word in the title. It is not “ur,” and it is definitely not “sic.” Why would it be?

It is in between those two words, even if they do not spell exactly what I am trying to say.

Summer blockbuster season is in full swing! This means I will be talking about films including “Lightyear,” which will be my next review, “Thor: Love and Thunder,” which comes out in July, and “Bullet Train,” due in August for instance. But before we get to those films, we have to talk about “Jurassic World: Dominion,” exhibit A for what is wrong with Hollywood. I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but it is kind of true. “Jurassic World: Dominion” is continuing the trend where we see elder actors return to play their roles another time, giving either prominent screentime, fan service, or possibly both.

Sony, who to be clear, is not in any way responsible for the “Jurassic Park” franchise and its distribution, is no stranger to this given the recent release of “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” where we see the original cast, minus Harold Ramis (RIP) return to bust ghosts. “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” the biggest movie of the past year, saw a ton of older characters return with their respective actors portraying them one more time. But I actually liked those films. “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” was as charming as it was nostalgic. It was kind of like “The Force Awakens” but more intimate. “Spider-Man: No Way Home” is a concept that could have made for a fun YouTube video, but they some how managed to turn into a wildly entertaining two and a half hour movie that honestly felt shorter than it really was at times. It was perfectly paced, relatable, and surprisingly dramatic. Although I do have mixed thoughts on the ending.

Whereas “Spider-Man: No Way Home” could have been taken as a concept that presents itself as a boardroom idea from out of touch executives, Kevin Feige, Amy Pascal, and director Jon Watts managed to make a movie that I will watch again and again for years. “Jurassic World: Dominion” on the other hand deserves to be struck by an asteroid. This is the worst “Jurassic” movie yet. “Dominion” is worse than “Jurassic Park III,” which despite its awfulness, can almost be perceived as something watchable under the influence of alcohol. And at least it is the shortest film in the franchise.

“Jurassic World: Dominion” is the opposite. In addition to being the longest film in its series, it tries to pack in so many ideas, some of which could be cool, but does not understand what to do with them. When I went to see “F9: The Fast Saga,” another Universal tentpole that made me want to gouge my eyes out, I was treated to an exclusive short film set in the world of the “Jurassic” franchise where we see dinosaurs roaming the planet, invading life as we know it. There is a fun scene at a drive-in that is also featured in the marketing of this movie, including a Progressive Insurance ad. NOTHING in this movie was as entertaining or watchable as that short. In fact, the whole unleashing of the dinosaurs plotline takes a backseat during the film because the kiddies do not want to see dinosaurs eating people! No. No. No. They want to see what Tim Cook would do if he had dinosaurs in his sights. That is what the kids like!

If you are new to Scene Before, hi, my name is Jack, and I like “Star Wars!” Time for yet another of one of my “Star Wars” comparisons! If anything, “Jurassic World: Dominion” is “Jurassic Park’s” answer to “The Rise of Skywalker,” one of the most poorly received “Star Wars” films of all time. Both films attempt to bring back older characters, conclude several movies that came before it, and I would like to add another rung to this ladder. If anything, “Jurassic World: Dominion” also feels like “The Last Jedi” because in “Jurassic” speak, “Fallen Kingdom” ends a certain way, only to have its follow-up barely do anything noteworthy with that film’s ending. The first act of “Dominion” feels like a giant “no” to particular elements to the film that came before it. That “no” supposedly came from Colin Trevorrow, who, get this, was once attached to direct what would become “The Rise of Skywalker.” At least “The Rise of Skywalker” was fun despite its flaws. At least “The Last Jedi” came off as a bold attempt to do something fresh in a historic franchise. Sure, this movie introduces an Apple-esque, genetics-based company, which we have not seen in other installments, but “The Last Jedi” actually got genuine reactions out of me, whether it meant laughing or cringing. “The Last Jedi” was a movie that swung for the fences in such a dramatic fashion only to fail. You can say “Jurassic World: Dominion” did that with its stacked cast, including franchise veterans Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum. But that is all shrouded within a film that feels like it was crafted in a single corporate meeting.

I caught up on all of the “Jurassic Park” movies prior to seeing “Jurassic World: Dominion.” If you ever read my review for Marvel’s “Black Panther,” I claimed that the film has the most forced kiss in cinematic history. Given the film’s not so perfect chemistry between Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, 2015’s “Jurassic World” is an arguable competitor for such a throne. I have no idea how these two are still together. Their lines do not feel genuine, the only reason why they feel like they belong together is because the script has lines that indicate such a thing. Well that, and they are raising a child together at this point. Their relationship never feels earned, and I am not exactly fond of either of them. Sure, Chris Pratt has some occasional fun bits training and taming dinosaurs, and Bryce Dallas Howard has developed… Decency, I guess, since her 2015 debut. Compared to the 2015 “Jurassic World,” these two sequels have admittedly gone downhill in terms of story and character development in the same way that they have gone downhill with epic dinosaur action. While I was never a fan of Bryce Dallas Howard in the original “Jurassic World,” I at least thought her two nephews were well written for who they were. I barely remember anyone specific in this latest installment. Yes, I know of the characters in this movie, but I could barely tell you about any of their quirks or anything remotely positive about them. With each installment in the “Jurassic” saga, less and less soul is there. I am not as wowed or engaged as I once was with the ideas this franchise is known for.

That is not to say there is no tension or stakes in “Jurassic World” whatsoever. Speaking of Bryce Dallas Howard, there is one scene in the film that is exclusively between her and a dinosaur. It is one of the quietest moments of the entire picture. It goes on for a minute or two, but I thought it was easily the most engaging segment of the two and a half hours we got. In a film whose dinosaur action is comparatively lesser than its counterparts, this was a welcome highlight.

The original “Jurassic Park,” much like its sequels, was synonymous with epic dinosaur action, but it successfully interweaved a human story with excellence. The cast played their characters to the best of their abilities and the script did them favors. I often think of the 1993 film as a visual achievement before anything else, showcasing effects that continue to hold up to this day, but it does not mean the story is an afterthought. The idea is simple. People create dinosaurs, dinosaurs eat people, and the main characters try to survive to the very end. There is more to it, but the movie gives you enough reasons within a couple hours to make you invested in the story and characters. It makes you root for the characters running away from the dinosaurs. The characters in “Jurassic World: Dominion” lacked such charisma, and therefore, the movie suffers as a result.

Even when the film has an okay idea on how to give a proper motivation for its characters, such as Maisie Lockwood who spends the movie, wanting more, simply put, it does not result in a satisfying progression. Maisie’s respective performer, Isabella Sermon, does a fine job with the material given to her, but her lines and motivation seem surface level and do not add to the film’s entertainment value. That is if there even is any to begin with. This film had a couple okay concepts in addition to Maisie’s desires. There was a dinosaur black market. There was a chase scene between Chris Pratt and a dinosaur that had Tom Cruise “Mission: Impossible” vibes. Even bringing back the original cast could have worked! Although the script failed to bring these characters into a classy, compelling story. But you also have these comparatively boring concepts like a Tim Cook wannabe doing research on dinosaurs, not to mention locusts of all things antagonizing everyone it can find. Because when I think big, loud dinosaur movies… I think locusts… Come on.

“Jurassic Park” is one of the best major motion pictures of its time. What Steven Spielberg and crew were able to do with the aesthetical nature and effects in “Jurassic Park” influenced a multitude of content that came after. Sadly, the sequels, for the most part, fail to recapture the magic of the original, with “Dominion” being the latest example. If you want my two cents, if it is a Friday, you have nothing to do, “Jurassic Park” is a great option for your movie night. I also recommend “The Lost World” to a degree, and “Jurassic World,” despite its lackluster characterization, is pretty and thrilling enough to get you through two hours. It is not exactly insulting, but it is somewhat dumbed down compared to the 1993 original. “Jurassic World: Dominion” makes the original “Jurassic World” look like “The Shawshank Redemption” in comparison. Do not watch this movie, do not support this movie. If you want to watch a more entertaining summer popcorn movie, give your money to “Top Gun: Maverick.” As a legacy sequel, “Maverick” honors its original counterpart, while also effectively progressing the life of a core character that was introduced many years ago. “Jurassic World: Dominion” fails with its new characters, it fails with its old characters, and most of all, it fails with me, the one who paid $16, not including an online fee and a 3D surcharge, to see this unforgivable abomination.

In the end, “Jurassic World: Dominion” managed to do the impossible. It managed to make a feature-length, big budget story heavily revolving around dinosaurs, and have it come off as the most tiring concept ever realized. Even after watching “Fallen Kingdom” I did not feel as tired. Maybe it is because this is the sixth movie, but “Jurassic Park” does not feel special anymore. Its novelty has worn off. Sure, this is a huge moneymaker for Universal, and I would not be surprised if we saw more content with the “Jurassic” label attached in the coming years despite this movie being marketed as “the conclusion of the Jurassic era,” but my hope is that something is done to heavily revitalize this iconic brand. “Jurassic Park” is a literal innovation to cinema. Ever since, we have gotten uninteresting characters, cookie cutter dialogue, and despite some okay concepts, the execution ends up being a far cry from what such concepts can promise. I am going to give “Jurassic World: Dominion” a generous 3/10.

And I have a feeling that could change to a 2 at any point in time…

“Jurassic World: Dominion” is now playing in theatres everywhere. Tickets are available now.

Thanks for reading this review! My next review is going to be for the brand new Pixar film, “Lightyear.” I went to go see this film twice, which should be a hint as to what I thought about it. Stay tuned for more thoughts as they come along! If you want to see this and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “Jurassic World: Dominion?” What did you think about it? Or, what is a franchise you think has overstayed its welcome? I apologize to Universal, but unless “Fast X” delivers something fresh, “Fast & Furious” might be my answer… Either way, let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Movie Theaters, Stop Overplaying Movie Trailers… Sincerely, A Lover of Movie Theatres and Trailers

Posted on by Jack Drees

Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Compared to say 2017, when I did not have as much access to a cinema in my freetime, I am not doing as many of these “non-review” posts nowadays. Sure, I’ve done stuff like the 4th Annual Jackoff Awards, but Scene Before has primarily been review-centric as of late. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for a nearly impromptu piece based on my recent experience at the movies. I just saw “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness,” and I have done so in a cinema I should probably refer to as “the multiplex of madness.”

I love the movies. The cinema experience made me want to make movies of my own one day, and I am taking whatever steps I can to achieve that dream. In fact, one thing I often look forward to when I am at the movies is when I sit down, I’m on time. Maybe I finish up watching some of the advertising from a source like Front & Center or Noovie or something. After all the ads, we start the preshow, and we see some trailers. In fact, in today’s Internet culture where everything is at your fingertips, we live in a time where sometimes I watch a trailer online, and get excited to potentially see it on the big screen.

My cinema of choice is AMC Theatres, which I went to last Thursday, specifically their Assembly Row 12 location in Somerville, Massachusetts, to go see “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.” I shelled out some extra money for the IMAX 3D experience. Not for me, my ticket was free (Thanks, A-List!), but my dad’s ended up costing $21.69. This is a premium experience that offers the biggest screen in the venue, arguably the loudest sound in the venue, and of course, 3D, which is not as much of a craze as it was a few years ago.

So, the trailers start… We get a ton of titles. These are not in any specific order by the way, “Nope,” “The Bob’s Burgers Movie,” “Lightyear,” “Bullet Train,” “Jurassic World: Dominion,” “Thor: Love and Thunder,” an extended look at “Top Gun: Maverick,” and the teaser for “Avatar: The Way of Water.” That’s right! THE “AVATAR” SEQUELS DO EXIST! That’s eight movies. And I’ll remind you… Not all of them are going to be in IMAX. “Bob’s Burgers” has no evident deal with the IMAX brand at this point to release the film in said format.

It takes a lot for me to lose my patience. Part of me snapped once I realized how long I’ve sitting in my seat just watching ADVERTISEMENTS, not even including all the Noovie stuff! I didn’t snap, because I was frankly excited to finally get to the film. Plus, the last trailer was for “Avatar: The Way of Water,” which I was happy to see. “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” is two hours and six minutes long. The preshow, which included the trailers, the AMC advertising, the IMAX countdown, was probably around half an hour. I’d say so because when I checked my phone at the end of the movie (including credits), whose preshow started at 9:30, it was 12:07, so those ads must have run for around half an hour.

I will also add this… Something happened that night that I have never witnessed before. The trailer for “Bullet Train…” PLAYED TWICE IN THE SAME REEL. It’s a great trailer, but what happened?

This is getting ridiculous. We’re here to watch THE MOVIE.

I mentioned that AMC Theatres is my movie theater of choice, but that’s mainly because it is the biggest bang for my buck. Why? Because I have A-List, which allows me to see three free movies a week in any format. I have gone to experiences where they played six, seven, and eight trailers, and not once have they been as long or tedious as what I just went through.

Sometimes having a lot of trailers is not the worst thing in the world. It gives more time for you to show up to your movie if you are late, if you want to go out and quickly grab food, go to the bathroom, and come back, you can do that and not miss much depending on where and when you see the movie. But when I’m paying a premium price, probably the most I have paid for an individual movie ticket in my life, I am not paying for the trailers! In fact, you could make an argument that for the price I paid, I should be paying for NO TRAILERS! Have you seen streaming models lately? Look at Hulu! You can pay $5.99 per month and get ads, or you can pay $11.99 per month and get no ads. It’s a premium price for a premium experience. I am paying monthly for YouTube Premium right now so I am not getting ads on the site! I never thought I’d say this! And even if it were not a premium price like $21, 9 trailers, including an extended preview and one that plays a second time, is obscene, especially when you consider how much of your time that it takes up. In fact, I would argue that there are theatres that try to take advantage of fewer trailers, but justify the price for it.

Some of you may remember the ArcLight chain, which primarily had cinemas around southern California. They opened a theater in Boston shortly before all their locations closed. A standard 2D show at the ArcLight in Boston right near the TD Garden was $15. Not the lowest price, but when you consider what you are getting, including a maximum of three trailers, a selling point of the ArcLight, it makes the price reasonable.

I get it. Movie trailers are supposed to sell movies. In addition to popcorn, movie theatres are in the business of selling movies, so I get why trailers exist. They are a decent business model for the venue and the studio. I am not saying that movie theatres need to get rid of trailers, but they need to make me feel like I paid to watch a MOVIE, not a barrage of marketing.

If anything, I think six trailers or more is where you start to push things, because trailers are often 2 to 3 minutes each unless it is a teaser. This gives an approximate 10 to 20 minute preshow, and that may or may not include whatever else the theatre tries to sell you. I am not telling theatres to get rid of their ads that partner with Coca-Cola, because if they did, I think that would lessen the chance of Coca-Cola being sold at that theater in the future. But if they made the trailers a reasonable length that did not make me feel like I watched a quarter of the film already, then I would feel like my purchase was justified. We live in a culture where we could look up any trailer we want on YouTube. I do not need AMC reciprocating my search history.

And you know what? It looks like studios are starting to catch on, at least to an extent. Because last week, CinemaCon was held in Las Vegas. During the Paramount presentation where they showed the entirety of “Top Gun: Maverick” to the audience, the domestic distribution chief, Chris Aronson got onstage and suggested that movie theaters should play fewer trailers before the film starts, as stated in this article from Box Office Pro.

“We’re not completely back yet and now is not the time for complacency, It’s not the time for ‘If we just have movies, everything is going to be okay,’ exhibition has to ensure that every facet of the guest experience is the absolute best that it can be. And [studios] have to ensure that we’re delivering content that moviegoers want to see in your theaters. We must work together in every way possible, the way partnerships are supposed to work—sharing data, not selling it—to help us market our movies to your patrons. Playing the right number of trailers and not numbing the audience to the point that the recall rate drops to nil. Ensuring that the price-value ratio is fair and proper. We need to look at our business from different perspectives and experiment in finding ways to increase attendance and revenue.” -Chris Aronson

When a higher-up from a major studio is chiming in on an issue like this suggesting that LESS marketing, potentially from their own movies, needs to be played, that is a sign that the cinemas need to fix this.

But at the same time, Paramount is also the studio behind “Top Gun: Maverick,” and they literally played a 5 or so minute preview of the film on top of all the other trailers I witnessed that same night!

I was talking to someone recently as part of a school project and they said during an interview that one thing they miss because of the pandemic is the movies. Should they ever go back, I can only imagine how’d they react to sit through as many trailers as I did. Not missing it so much now, right?

I’m writing this post as an American, likely for an American audience. Here’s an analogy my American friends can understand. Movie preshows are like baseball games. You can watch a number of innings, experience a thrilling game, perhaps feel satisfied in the end. Trailers, like baseball, can be fun. But if trailers go on for too long, they become the most insufferable, brain-melting, tiring thing on the face of the planet!

So AMC, Regal, Cinemark, Showcase, all the other venues that are probably playing trailer upon trailer right now, please take into consideration that the audience wants to watch the movie they paid to see. And if you are concerned that they are not going to know about “The Bob’s Burgers Movie” of all things, then that’s why standees and posters exist to be displayed around the theater! I should not be watching eight or nine trailers when you need extra time to play the IMAX countdown and a pointless, counterproductive ad where Nicole Kidman reminds everyone that heartbreak feels good in AMC Theatres. No, seriously. That ad makes no sense. Why is an ad reminding you to go to AMC Theatres attached to the end of the preshow when I already entered the theatre?

As they say in the song “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” “if they don’t win, it’s a shame.” Nobody wins with eight or nine trailers. They’re cluttered, long, and for all I know, the audience probably won’t remember all of them. I remember every one I saw because I was angered by all this in the end, but all it did is lessen my chances of returning to AMC. They’re lucky I am not cancelling my A-List because I go to watch and review movies. But if I were not doing Scene Before, I would probably cancel my A-List, maybe choose another theater to commit to. Movie theatres, this is simply put, a shame. Therefore I beg, stop self-indulging, stop overselling, and start playing what I came to see!

I want to ask everyone a couple questions. First off, do you like movie trailers? Second, do you think the movies are playing enough trailers? Too little? If you had to put a number on it, how many trailers would you PREFER to see before a movie? Do you even watch trailers at the theater? Also, how long would you say is the longest preshow you witnessed before going to see a movie? Let me know down below!

Thanks for reading this post! If you are new around here, feel free to check out some of my reviews for movies like “Sonic the Hedgehog 2,” “CODA,” and “Morbius.” I have more reviews coming soon. And speaking of Nicole Kidman, I will be reviewing “The Northman” this week! Be sure to check that out when it drops! Evidently, given all that I have talked about, expect a review of “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” sometime in the near future. If you want to see more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!