The Rhythm Section (2020): The Most Boring Record Breaker of All Time

“The Rhythm Section” is directed by Reed Morano (The Handmaid’s Tale, Divorce) and stars Blake Lively (The Shallows, The Town), Jude Law (Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, The Grand Budapest Hotel), and Sterling K. Brown (This Is Us, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) in a film… Zzzzzzzzz.

Sorry, what was that? I’m very sorry. This film is about a woman who seeks revenge after discovering the plane crash that killed her family was an act of terrorism.

This film is based on a book written by Mark Burnell. Interestingly, he also wrote the screenplay for this movie. I don’t know how the book is, I have personally never read it, but for all I know, it’s a masterpiece of a generation. Although I will say this movie took me back to my high school years when I was forced to read certain texts. I’m looking at you, “Pride & Prejudice!” You guys remember English class in high school? If you liked every single book, text, or piece of reading material you’ve gotten in high school, good for you. To me, this movie felt like a book I was forced to read in high school, ended up detesting from the first ten pages, and I would either drudge through it or leave it to the last minute.

Want to know something else? This movie is not that long. It’s not the shortest movie ever, but it has a total runtime of an hour and forty-nine minutes. I could totally see myself splitting some movie viewings into a couple of parts to take some things in. I did it with “Braveheart,” which is about 3 hours long. Heck, many movies have intermissions! I’ve even heard some countries apply intermissions to modern movies playing in theaters that don’t even come pre-packaged with them! A movie like “Braveheart,” even though was a little heavy at first, is exciting and exhilarating until the very end! “The Rhythm Section” is… BOORRRRING!

Now, it’s not “Gretel & Hansel” boring, it’s definitely not “Cats” boring, but “The Rhythm Section” is still pretty stinkin’ boring! The training scenes, which are… Okay, I guess, don’t feel like something I’ll remember two weeks from now. The action is fine, in fact there is a scene in this movie that is brilliantly shot, but that might be the best part of the movie even though it probably doesn’t say all that much, because it really doesn’t have anything to write home about.

Speaking of that awesome action scene, I do want to say something about it. I won’t go into much detail about the scene itself, partially to avoid spoilers, as usual, but much like some of those books I’ve read in high school, I’m forgetting about it as we speak. What did Virginia Woolf do again? I will say though, there is one action sequence where a car chase is going down, Blake Lively’s character is driving, and the camera is in the car pretty much the whole time. For like a minute or so, the frame doesn’t cut, break, or switch. It just stays put the entire time in the same shot. I’ve noticed a lot of movies have done something like this in recent years, or more specifically, they take a bunch of shots together and make it look like one shot. “Kingsman: The Secret Service” had an awesome throwdown scene in a church where Colin Firth beat, shot, and stabbed everyone to death. “Zombieland: Double Tap” had an insane scene like this go down in Elvis Presley’s house. “Atomic Blonde” had something like this too, where Charlize Theron spends eight minutes taking everyone down. While the first two examples feel fantastical, this shot felt more like something that had an “Atomic Blonde” vibe. Unfortunately, “Atomic Blonde” is a much better movie, a more engaging movie as well, but like these examples sort of relate to “The Rhythm Section” in terms of camerawork. There were some scenes, like that one cool action sequence, where the camera was well-utilized. Unfortunately, I can’t always say the same about the editing.

I rarely talk about edits in movies that I don’t like, although I still wonder why “Bohemian Rhapsody” won an Academy Award for it, so there is that. There was a scene in the beginning that caught my attention, everything is all quick cutty and fast. And I get it, people have slow attention spans, but this was honestly too fast for my liking. Speaking of which, remember that awesome action scene? Well forget about that for just a sec, because I remember a scene towards the end of the film that took place on a bus, and it reminded me of the typical jumpcutty bullcrap that’s been seen a lot in recent action flicks. One moment we’re here! One moment we’re there! One moment we’re flying everywhere! It’s like the world’s worst Dr. Seuss book!

And of course, I should not go without mentioning one other thing, this movie has the same curse some other films manage to have. It’s a January movie! Honestly, this crap feels like it belongs in that month, it is one of the few months that many general audiences are not focused on new movies, even though “Bad Boys for Life” grossed a ridiculous amount of money for a January flick this year, surpassing 2009’s “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” by over double its total worldwide. Note, “American Sniper” came out in January 2015 and earned more money than both movies, but it does not count, considering how the movie was screened in a limited run since December 2014. Speaking of box office achievements, “The Rhythm Section” has the *honor* of earning the worst weekend for a wide release movie playing on over 3,000 screens. In fact, in just a couple weeks, that screen count dropped to just double digits! The film also brought in just short of $6 million worldwide! When your film has a budget of $50 million, this is a definite failure. And I know 2020 sucks for everyone right now, unless you’re a higher-up at Amazon, you work for Charmin’, or if you are an introvert who likes staying home all day, but this sort of makes me wonder how Paramount’s 2020 has been going since the beginning.

Well, at least “Mission: Impossible 7” is back in production.

Nevertheless, this feels like it deserves a January spot on the calendar, not only in terms of quality, but in terms of content. A lot of it either feels cliche, cold, or something that could easily be tuned out. This may also not be the easiest movie to market either. I’m not sure how popular the book is, so I guess the easiest way to tell is to find out how many people in the world have read the source material.

The actors are alright in this movie, and I will say, whoever the makeup and hairstyling crew for this movie happens to be, they deserve a thumbs up because Blake Lively looks the part. She comes off as a woman who really has seen some s*it in her life, and her hairstyle projects that idea to me. Unfortunately, some halfway decent acting could not contribute to a halfway decent movie. I don’t feel like I’ll remember most of the characters, the happenings, the movie as a whole. It’ll probably be a blur at some point. Technically speaking, it’s very hit or miss. I don’t see myself watching this movie in the near future even as background noise.

I don’t want to end this review too harshly, after all, even though I’ve been bogging the screenplay, because it is admittedly boring and nowhere near satisfying, it is also Mark Burnell’s debut, so I’ll cut him some slack here. In fact, he’s got another project lined up, so maybe he’ll knock it out of the park next time, maybe even learn from some flaws here. Unfortunately it’s based on another one of his books so… We’ll see. Burnell, if you are reading this and want my recommendation, get another guy who is well versed in screenwriting to collaborate with you. Maybe you can still go with your vision, but I think a voice of experience would be helpful in a case like this. The movie’s still in pre-production… Maybe there’s time for another draft? I don’t know.

In the end, “The Rhythm Section” unfortunately did not make its money back at the box office, but nevertheless robbed me of $12.99 that I ended up paying for the Blu-ray. Granted, that’s a cheap price for a fairly new release, but nevertheless. This movie feels like alcohol. Only I didn’t drink it to forget something, instead the alcohol leaped off the screen and slowly poured itself down my throat. I do not feel like I’ll remember this movie that well. If you want a good revenge movie, just go watch “Taken,” go watch “John Wick,” they’re much more worth your time. Even the “John Wick” sequels are better than this! I’m going to give “The Rhythm Section” a 4/10.

Thanks for reading this review! If you want to see a review for a much better movie, be sure to check out my review for “Tenet!” Big movies are back, baby! This is what I’m talking about! I wanted to watch “Bill & Ted Face the Music” this past weekend, as it was playing in some theaters (although it was available on VOD too), but unfortunately I just couldn’t find time to do it. So, if I have the motivation for either format this upcoming weekend, I will probably check that movie out. What else am I gonna watch this weekend? “The Broken Hearts Gallery?” I like one of the actresses in it… But, what else does it have to offer? Maybe I’ll get a last minute A-List screening or something, I dunno. Be sure to follow Scene Before either with an email or WordPress account so you can stay tuned for more great content! Also, check out my Facebook page! I want to know, did you see “The Rhythm Section?” Or did you contribute to its unfortunate records? What did you think about the movie if you saw it? Or, what is your favorite movie with Blake Lively in it? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!

Serenity (2019): Not the Firefly Movie

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“Serenity” is directed by Steven Knight, who also directed “Locke” starring Tom Hardy, and this film stars Matthew McConaughey (Interstellar, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past), Anne Hathaway (Colossal, Ocean’s 8), Diane Lane (Inside Out, Man of Steel), Jason Clarke (Terminator: Genisys, Everest), Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, Guardians of the Galaxy), and Jeremy Strong (Zero Dark Thirty, Molly’s Game). This film takes place on an isolated piece of land called Plymouth Island. Matthew McConaughey’s character of Baker Dill lives on the island, having a quiet life to himself. However, things become more obnoxious once his ex-wife (Anne Hathaway) comes to town with the hope that Dill would leave her current husband for dead in the ocean.

I saw this film over a week ago, and I know it is a January flick, but I still couldn’t help but feel somewhat excited for this film’s arrival. As strange as this thought may come off, I was kind of giddy because it starred Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway. Not only are the two good actors, but they starred alongside each other in “Interstellar,” one of my favorite films ever made. So in a way, this is almost like a reunion. It would be cool if Christopher Nolan were directing, but still. I remember going to see “Peppermint” back in September and kind of being intrigued by the trailer for this film. I wouldn’t call “Serenity” my most anticipated film of the year or anything, in fact it’s hard to give that title to a January film anyway, but I was undoubtedly looking forward to it. I don’t know why I thought this was going to be a disaster movie walking into it (I rewatched the trailer to see if the marketing was deceptive, which it wasn’t), but still, I had expectations. Aaaaaaand they were shattered.

To quote the YouTube channel RedLetterMedia,

That’s right! While this post is being done in the just as crappy month of February, I have been exposed to the true cancer and filth of a January movie! Feelin’ the spirit!

What makes this January movie so bad? For one thing, the characters are just not likable. I was somewhat curious as to seeing what Matthew McConaughey would do with his character, and it pains me to say that the first impression I’ve gotten with such a character was just abominable. I have been thinking a bit lately about first impressions, and now that I am thinking about them, I have been reminded on how much they matter and how much of an impact they can leave on people. I have a friend who went to go see “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” when it came out who thought they were in for a wild ride once they heard one of the film’s early jokes. They walked out of the film hating the damn thing! I remember when I saw “La La Land” in the theater for the first time, and the first number comes on. It was a true masterpiece in terms of choreography and cinematography. That impression carried on through the rest of the film to the point where I left, did my review, and gave the film a well deserved 9/10. FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER.

Granted, my first impression of Anne Hathaway was that she was kind of stunning in the film, but the reality that this is not a porno, it is a movie. I am not watching an x-rated video where I go “Look at this lady! Five out five stars!” As a character however, she wasn’t the worst on screen. There was nothing I loved about her. Although there was nothing I really hated about her either. She’s just kind of “eh.”

Speaking of sex, I was actually thinking a bit to myself about that during the film, because there is some of that in this film. Granted, I imagine there’s a good chunk of women out there who think Matthew McConaughey is a national treasure, even if he is soon turning fifty years old. There are a couple of themes where I looked at Matthew McConaughey and compared him to a selfish, overwhelmed, depressed guy who must be great in the bedroom. And sadly, there are moments that I think the sex in “Serenity” is more entertaining than the film’s actual plot.

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Out of all the uninteresting and unlikable characters in “Serenity,” not one really got on my nerves more than Jeremy Strong’s character of Reid Miller. This guy displays just about every unlikable quality you can think of in a door-to-door salesperson. I won’t go into complete detail, but he is pretty annoying, and he’s basically in the movie whenever it is convenient for the plot. It’s not to say that his character was entirely pointless, but it also not to say that said character wasn’t horribly written and maybe made me want to ignore every aspect of having a consciousness a couple of times. Just… why is here? Why?

“Serenity” as bad as it is, could have been a really awesome movie, but the characterization is sloppy enough to make me hate it. After all, I won’t go into detail, this movie kind of reminded me of “Interstellar.” Granted, it has both Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway as recently mentioned, but that is not the main point. Plot-wise, as the movie develops, the story goes into a direction that somewhat has an “Interstellar” feel. Granted the film is not in space, I didn’t feel anywhere as much emotion as I did during “Interstellar,” and the overall lack of quality this movie seems to provide made me ultimately not care for whatever it was I was watching. I felt like I had two brains in my head operating at once. One brain was completely bored while the other was enjoying itself. Granted, that notion about the second brain is sort of an overstatement based on all of the other s*it I said about this movie, but still. I thought to myself, there is a good movie somewhere in “Serenity,” and the filmmakers are seemingly trying to unlock the door to let this good movie out, but the sad fact is the lock is hard to undo. I sort of feel bad, while simultaneously disappointed.

I will give kudos to this film on a technical perspective though because there are times when it did have a nice atmosphere. The island did feel like something that would actually exist from the way it looked on camera, and a lot of the water shots provide a breathtaking vibe. I don’t know what it is about movies and water. Somehow a camera taking shots around water just makes movies better. Even with a film like “Adrift,” which made my top 10 WORST last year, still looked dazzling because of the atmosphere provided with all the shots containing water. I’m not saying I like being on the ocean in real life. I’m a little more urban, I even think the beach is overrated. I just think that on camera, watery oceans can look very appealing, there’s something about them. Perhaps a personal thing, I don’t know. Whatever, doesn’t save this movie from being a dumpster fire though.

In the end, part of me was screaming this at the end of the film…

“Serenity” really is a somewhat intriguing, mysterious flick, but it is ruined by its story and characters who managed to underwhelm and disappoint me. When your movie starts off and Matthew McConaughey (at least in my eyes) treats his pals in a dickish manner, it’s gonna be hard to leave me impressed. As I was writing this review, I found out that this was apparently the worst opening of Anne Hathaway’s career. I can see why. As much as I loved seeing McConaughey and Hathaway reunite for another movie, it would have been cooler had the movie been worth my time. I’m going to give “Serenity” a 3/10. Thanks for reading this review! Next week I’m going to be releasing the kraken! The dragon! The man! The myth! The legend! The Jackoff Awards! This is going to be one of my longest, jam-packed, most ambitious posts that I have ever done. If you frequent my blog and are actually curious to know about this, I should have you know this is not going to be something NEARLY as short as what I’m reading to you right now. There’s going to be segments where I digress, segments that go on for some time, videos, etc. I’m filling this post to the brim with epic entertainment for all to enjoy, so I hope you all enjoy it! If you want to see this upcoming post, or more great content from Scene Before, be sure to follow my blog either with an email or WordPress account! I want to know, did you see “Serenity?” What did you think about it? Or, since it is kinda sorta maybe relevant, what are your thoughts on the TV series “Firefly?” Do you think it should be brought back? Let me know down below! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!