Hey everyone, Jack Drees here! Sometimes I am here to tell you which movies you should watch, but today I am here to tell you which movies you should avoid. It is time to tackle my top 10 WORST movies of 2022! For those of you who followed me for a long time, you may remember like some people, I have previously done my top 10 BEST list before my top 10 WORST list. This year we are doing the opposite, we are ripping the bad stuff off like a Band Aid. That said, I would say it is my duty to talk about these movies, because I cannot be all rainbows and unicorns all the time. Before we begin, here are some rules. First, I have not seen every movie that has come out this year. There are certain movies that I either did not have time to watch, they were not playing at a theater near me, or they just did not look like my cup of tea. I cannot get around to everything. Second, this list is based on my personal opinions of these movies. I am not saying you have to dislike these movies, I am only giving my perspective based on what happened when watching said movies. Also, these movies must have had a theatrical release of some kind, even if it is only playing in Los Angeles, New York, or MiddleofNowheresville, Connecticut. So, if you are expecting to see the Disney+ exclusive “Pinocchio” on this list, look elsewhere. It only released on streaming, and I have not watched it. Although speaking of which, I will also have a note as to where you could possibly find these movies, either at home or in theaters, at the time of writing this post, if you somehow think watching them is a good use of your time. Also, be sure to click the links next to those watching options to read my reviews for these films. That is if I reviewed them, there are a couple on the list I did not get to talk about earlier in the year. With all these rules out of the way, we shall start the countdown by listing a few dishonorable mentions.
Dishonorable mention: Amsterdam (available on HBO Max)
Starting off the dishonorable mentions is “Amsterdam.” There are a couple good moments in “Amsterdam.” But it does not change the fact that the script is messy, all over the place, and continues going in a downward spiral after the first ten minutes. The stacked cast may have been enough to get me in the door, but I felt like I was locked behind said door for a couple hours, just hoping for whatever was happening to end.
Dishonorable mention: Halloween Ends (available on Peacock)
Up next for the dishonorable mentions is “Halloween Ends.” While there is some entertainment value to be found in “Halloween Ends,” this is a movie that fails to understand why “Halloween” has such a following amongst horror fans. Michael Myers is barely in this movie, which is kind of a reverse of “Halloween Kills” where he takes up a good amount of screentime and Jamie Lee Curtis barely has anything to do. The trailer seems to promise one thing and barely delivers on it whatsoever. In a year of great horror titles like “Smile,” “Barbarian,” and “The Black Phone,” this one did not join those ranks.
Dishonorable mention: Don’t Worry Darling (available on HBO Max)
And closing off the dishonorable mentions we have “Don’t Worry Darling.” Not only was this movie a gigantic disappointment, especially considering how Olivia Wilde directed a decent comedy a few years ago, specifically “Booksmart.” But it also has arguably the most infuriatingly unsatisfying third act I have seen in this entire decade of cinema. When the juicy press tour and behind the scenes shenanigans happen to be more entertaining than your movie, that is a problem.
With those out of the way, it is time to count down my top 10 WORST movies of 2022!
#10. Easter Sunday (available on VOD)
Starting off this list is a pretty disposable, forgettable comedy. That my friends, is “Easter Sunday.” If I had to guess how much faith Universal had in this movie, it would probably be very little. Want a hint? This movie came out on August 5th. Last time I checked, Easter is usually in March or April. It is almost as if someone at Universal saw this movie and thought they should hide it as soon as possible. I have heard Jo Koy is a funny comedian, and there are humorous moments in “Easter Sunday,” but I found it hard to like the character he plays. There is also a particular line in this movie that I imagine the writers must have thought the audience would quote by the end because of how many times they inserted it. If I were in the room with them, I would tell them to tone it down because by the fourth time it is said, I nearly had a headache. Speaking of the script, some moments were predictable and if they were not that, they might have been too over the top. This film is lower on the list is because while it is not as funny as I would have hoped it to be, it is not as anger-inducing as some of the other movies on here. That said, this film is probably not even good enough to qualify as background noise on basic cable.
#9. Strange World (in theaters, available on Disney+)
There is something strange in the neighborhood, and I am not calling the Ghostbusters. I am calling the movie theater to ask for my money back that I gave for seeing “Strange World.” I really wanted to like “Strange World” because first off, I am a fan of science fiction, which this film is to a certain degree. But also, the film looked really pretty, I was just hoping that there could be an entertaining story to back it up. Although I have the same complaints with “Strange World” that I did with “Avatar: The Way of Water.” It is pretty to glance upon, but there is very little substance. There were times where I should have stared with awe and wonder where I simply had my arms crossed. I like the lesson the film tries to convey to its audience, but it is surrounded by an utter bore of a waltz through this unfamiliar territory that I wanted to soon forget. People often claim that Marvel movies are theme park rides and not cinema. I not only disagree, but I also would say if you want a theme park ride, you should look no further than “Strange World,” and I do not mean that as a positive. I nearly tuned out at a particular point. Speaking of which, this film is distributed by Disney, and if you ask me, this could have worked as a theme park ride, but I think given how poorly this film did upon launch, there is zero chance of that happening. I liked the opening song, but like the dishonorable mention “Amsterdam,” this film had a great start followed by a lackluster progression.
#8. Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (available on Paramount+)
Speaking of absolute bores of animation, here is a shoutout to “Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank!” People often say that “Blazing Saddles” is a movie that would not be made today because of its politically incorrect nature. Guess what? Somebody did remake it on a technicality, but it is an animated film aimed at families. “Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank” is the result. Boy it is a legend alright. A legend of complete and utter cringe. My friend and I went to see another movie earlier this year and saw the trailer, he thought this was a “Kung Fu Panda” wannabe. While there are elements of “Kung Fu Panda” in here, such as the classic hero’s journey where a young individual is taken under the wing of a more experienced, perhaps reclusive mentor, one thing this movie did not have, was joy. I did not leave the theater feeling satisfied. Very few jokes landed, and those that did land, were not all that memorable. I like a ton of the people behind the voices like Michael Cera, Samuel L. Jackson, and Ricky Gervais, I just wish they had better writing provided for them. There is a line in this movie that dives into meta humor, where the characters are kind of at a low point, and they’re trying to solve a problem. At said point, Hank is trying to keep everyone’s attention and digressively says, “And the movie is only 85 minutes long!” Short term, yes, it could get some laughs. But the more I think about that line, it feels like wasted time in a somewhat rushed story. Is it a good lesson for children? Perhaps. But just because the lesson is effective does not mean the same can be said for the movie.
#7. Elvis (available on HBO Max)
I often think about my favorite directors in the industry. Some include Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino, and Damien Chazelle. I often think about the ones I like, but if I were ever forced to name a director on the opposite side of the spectrum, one of the first that comes to mind is Baz Luhrmann. Case and point, “Elvis.” I was looking forward to “Elvis,” partially because I forgot who was directing it. While the movie has a glitzy and glossy style that feels somewhat synonymous with Elvis Presley and his brand at times, the style is definitely more evident than the substance. This movie is too much at too quick of a pace. It is the most headache-inducing movie I have seen in years. The worst part of this movie is the fact that it at times doesn’t even feel like it is about Elvis. The spotlight is often stolen by Elvis’s manager, Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks. Austin Butler is great in the movie, but unfortunately, he is surrounded by a buttload of inexcusable garbage. If you polish a piece of crap, then guess what? It is still a piece of crap, but just shinier! It still looks and smells atrocious! I cannot personally recommend “Elvis,” but I think if you are a fan of Baz Luhrmann’s style, you might feel different about this film than me.
#6. The Mean One (released in theaters, home viewing options unknown)
While “Elvis” was a well-stylized movie that was not for me, “The Mean One” on the other hand is an eye-burning picture that like “Elvis,” was definitely not my cup of tea. There are certain films that I liked this year that I would call “cinematic achievements” because of how excellently they executed a certain aspect of their project. These may include aspects such as storytelling, animation style, or sound. Similarly, I would call “The Mean One” a cinematic achievement in somehow making a worse “Grinch” movie than Illumination did four years ago. Yes, I know, technically speaking, the Grinch is not in this movie. It is an expression. One of the reasons why this film is not on one of the worse spots on the list is because this film did not have a humungous release. It hit some theaters, and I unfortunately drove out of state to attend one of those theaters, but still. The film looks like it could receive a fair grade as a high school film project, but it is not, so I am not treating it like one. The color grading is the worst I have seen all year. The special effects are obscene. The writing, whether the movie is trying be horrific or comedic, fails on both levels. David Howard Thornton gives it his all as the Mean One, but that has to be the one silver lining in this dumpster fire of a film that will definitely not go on my Christmas movie watchlist next year.
#5. Ambulance (available on Prime Video)
The plot may be simple, but the headache I had while watching this movie is as complex as the space time continuum. Coming in at #5 is Michael Bay’s latest film, “Ambulance.” Interesting enough, an ambulance just so happens to be a vehicle I could have probably used after finishing this travesty. This movie had an okay concept, despite not having many layers to it. Essentially, “Ambulance” follows bank robbers who carry a ton of money in an ambulance. This had the potential to be a really epic heist and chase flick. It did not even come close to being epic! A more entertaining chase than what this movie contains would probably be the chase for my refund from Best Buy for the absolute ripoff that this movie happened to be. Yes, I bought the film on disc. Physical media forever! The shots are repetitive and made my head spin. The drone shots made me want to rip my eyes out of my sockets. The editing is the worst I have seen this year. The editing is so bad, I would contend it is one of the most bottom of the barrel examples of an edit I have witnessed in the action genre. There is a point where this movie looked so technically off the rails in such a piss poor way that I stopped caring about what was going on. I cannot see myself watching this movie ever again unless I lost a dare. Michael Bay movies may be known for their explosions, but the thing that exploded the most when I watched “Ambulance” was my IQ. I feel ten times dumber for having watched whatever on earth this happens to be.
#4. Jurassic World: Dominion (available on Prime Video)
To paraphrase the original “Jurassic Park,” Universal became so preoccupied on whether or not they could make a ton of “Jurassic” sequels that they didn’t stop to think if they should. And that is arguably why we have the absolutely abysmal “Jurassic World: Dominion.” I knew a couple people who were looking forward to this film. But when I saw that first trailer, I was not exactly sold. It looked like an inferior “Fast & Furious” installment with dinosaurs. As for the movie itself, it flat out falsely advertises the plot to its audience. Remember all that dinosaur action in the drive-in? That was not in the theatrical cut! All of that was cut out! Apparently, this movie needed more time to establish the real villain of the story. Not dinosaurs, not dino-abusing humans, but locusts. Kids love locusts. Right? Last year, Sony and Marvel Studios gave the moviegoing public “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” which successfully celebrated three different generations of Spider-Man. It was glorious to say the least. “Jurassic World: Dominion” attempts to celebrate the two “Jurassic” generations, but falls flat on its face in the process. The directing is stale, the dialogue is cheap, and the connections between the characters feel forced! The “Jurassic Park” franchise has had misfires before like “Jurassic Park III,” but “Dominion” honestly makes “Jurassic Park III” look like “The Shawshank Redemption!” What other movie in history made dinosaurs BORING?! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Steven Spielberg struck magic back in the 1990s only to have this money-making machine release increasingly disposable content like “Jurassic World: Dominion.”
#3. Medieval (available on VOD)
To this day, I can thankfully say that I have never fallen asleep to a movie in the theater. I find that incredibly hard to do. Although after seeing the absolute travesty that is “Medieval,” I certainly came close. How bad does your movie have to be for Michael Caine to come off as the human equivalent of melatonin? Some of the performances in “Medieval” barely have any life to them, especially when compared to another depressing epic from the year prior, “The Last Duel.” Except that movie was brutal and satisfying at the same time! The action sequences are barely enough to keep me awake. It is like if the director of “Taken 3” were given the tools to helm a period piece like this. Aside from one or two neat locations and one or two attention-grabbing deaths, this movie had nothing going for it. No presentable characterization. No reason to care for anybody. No emotion. The costumes and setting look okay. This movie barely has enough appeal in its looks, but it is only slightly better than what the story can provide. And that is if the story can provide anything. I was bored from scene one to scene done. Thanks a lot, “Medieval.”
#2. Moonfall (available on HBO Max)
Roland Emmerich is often seen as the master of fun disaster films with iconic titles like “Independence Day.” Speaking of disasters, let’s talk about “Moonfall,” one of most mind-numbingly painful movies I have watched in the past couple years. Am I surprised that “Moonfall” is as bad as it is? Yes and no. For one thing, I figured that this movie could at least be stupid fun with cheesy dialogue. We definitely got the latter, but without the inclusion of the former. Well, other than the stupidity, so that’s halfway there. Many of the characters are forgettable despite being played by some decent actors like Halle Berry and Michael Pena. In addition, some of the characters themselves feel like stereotypes. Any and all semblance of scientific accuracy that could have been in this movie is thrown out the window. As if things could not be more terrible, “Moonfall” has one of the worst third acts I have seen in all of science fiction. I should have known what was coming from a movie where the moon suddenly goes out of orbit and crashes into the earth for some reason. But what can I say? I am an optimist. I thought this could have been fun. The worst thing about “Moonfall” is that it somehow managed to make its competitor, “Jackass Forever,” which came out the same weekend, look smart. That is an accomplishment. The movie where Johnny Knoxville and his buddies destroy their bodies not only feels less painful for the brain, but it is comparatively more entertaining. This is a reality I did not think we would experience.
#1. Morbius (available on Netflix)
To call this next entry to the list a “movie” would be an absolute injustice. Up next is arguably the worst comic book movie in the history of mankind. My #1 worst movie of 2022 is “Morbius.” There is often a debate as to whether comic book movies are “cinema,” but if cinema happened to be equal to cliché dialogue, forgettable scenes, and flat-out boring, lifeless, uninteresting, stale characters, then this movie is a cinematic masterpiece! I feel terrible for Jared Leto, because he is a good actor. But now, he not only has suffered by playing an inferior Joker character in DC, it just so happens that Marvel is tarnishing his reputation too. When I did my top 10 worst movies of 2018, I put “Venom” on the list, yet another Sony “Spider-Man” villain-based comic book film. After watching “Morbius,” I can confirm that “Morbius” makes “Venom” look fun. Because at least “Venom” kind of had some cheesy dialogue and one or two funny moments. It was not what I wanted, I did not particularly enjoy what I saw, but there may as well have been slight hints of entertainment value from start to finish. Just to think, this movie was supposed to come out in July 2020. They had all this time to make this movie better until its eventual release in March/April 2022. And they did absolutely nothing.
To make matters worse, this movie contains the worst… No MCU movie can claim this, I swear on my life, the single worst credits scene in film history. It makes no sense whatsoever. There is a scene that shows what is wrong with Sony, what is wrong with some people’s thinking about comic book movies, what is wrong with the modern moviegoing market. I get that superheroes are hot right now. I get that people want to see certain things out of the market. But Sony’s thinking provides for a rushed motive that may as well fall flat on its face. If this movie did not come out after the MCU’s “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” there is a slight chance we may not be in this situation. Remember how I said “Halloween Ends” and “Jurassic World: Dominon” failed to deliver on what they advertised? Well, “Morbius” is not only terrible as a movie, but like those examples, it uses particular scenes in its marketing campaign to arguably dupe its own audience. “Spider-Man: No Way Home” had misleading trailers, but those misdirects were done to the movie’s, and therefore the audience’s, benefit. This time around, the only people it may benefit are Sony executives who are snatching people’s wallets and slapping them across their faces.
The only positive outcome that “Morbius” may have brought to mankind are some of the memes. In fact, Sony must have seen these memes, because after they started clogging up my feed, they did a rerelease for the film, and it was a total flop! Newsflash, I am not interested in watching “Morbius” a second time because of the memes! The reason why I was at least somewhat curious about the memes is because of how bad this movie was from my first, and hopefully last, viewing. Yeah, I could also suggest that I might want to watch “The Room” because of the memes, but the difference is that those memes, intentional or not, literally define the movie. The memes for “Morbius” make it look more entertaining than it actually is. From experience, I have seen better characters, I have seen better origin stories, and most importantly, I have seen better movies. The ending of this movie is also so abrupt it is not even funny. It is as if the writers just gave up or something. Let me remind you that this movie has a smart scientist, Martine to be specific, who apparently does not know how to properly pronounce the “Nobel” in Nobel Prize. Inconceivable. How did this get made?! Better, how did this get released? The fact that it had been marketed since the beginning of the COVID-19 era only makes the result more infuriating. “Morbius” takes the cake as not just one of the worst comic book movies ever made, but also one of the worst movies period. It is by a long shot, my worst movie of 2022.
Thanks for reading this countdown! I hope everyone enjoyed finding out about my worst movies of 2022. Believe it or not, there actually have been a number of good movies to come out this year, but every once in the while there was a notable dud. I guess you cannot win them all. In the meantime, if you would like to observe another countdown I did recently, be sure to check out my picks for my top 10 MOST ANTICIPATED movies of 2023! Also, this week, it is time to turn this frown upside down, because I will be talking about my top 10 BEST movies of 2022! I am excited to share my picks with everyone, I always have fun doing these lists! If you want to see this and more from Scene Before, follow the blog either with an email or WordPress account! Also, check out the official Facebook page! I want to know, what are your least favorite movies of 2022? Do you have a top 10? 5? 15? List your picks down below! I would be happy to hear them! Scene Before is your click to the flicks!